In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Round One action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.
5. Belonephilia
Literal Meaning: “Sexual arousal from the use of pins and needles.”
The Intarwebs say: Dr. Perlman can’t help you here.
Notable Advocates: Wale, Kanye West, Gilbert Arenas
13. Incest
Literal Meaning: “Any sexual activity between closely related persons and (often within the immediate family) that is illegal or socially taboo. Prevalence is difficult to generalize, but research has estimated 10-15% of the general population as having at least one incest experience, with less than 2% involving intercourse or attempted intercourse.”
Dan Savage reader says: “How do you get rid of a sexual fetish? I’ve got an incest fetish and while I don’t plan on acting on it, Dan, it’s still very annoying. Second, I was raped by a sibling as a child. Repeatedly. And while at first I was upset by this, I eventually began to enjoy the sex. So I hate myself. Is this common? I’m seeing a therapist, but due to my guilt and shame I’m unable to ask her these questions.”
Notable Advocates: Aaron Rodgers, Reginald VelJohnson, Mel Martinez
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There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
With cum on his chin,
He exclaimed with a grin,
“I fucked my cousin.”
meanwhile, in the Nasty Fetish NIT, lolicon takes on teen panty shots in the championship game. Lolicon wins by a (lack of pubic) hair
//Why don’t you have a seat over there?//
incest is best, put your sister to the test
@ Stu – It’s good to have standards.
The only reason I won’t fuck my sister is because she’s not hot.
The McPoyles? Oh yeah, those freaks were prime real estate.
Anyone who has seen ‘Audition’ is clearly voting for the non-mormon one. I’d let that bitch stick needles in me, but she can’t cut off my head with piano wire. You’ve gotta set limits.
the first verse of The Deeper In by Drive-By Truckers….
By the time you were born there were four other siblings
with your Mama awaiting your Daddy in jail
Your oldest brother was away at a home
and You didn’t meet him til you was nineteen years old
Old enough to know better, old enough to know better
but you took to his jaw line and long sandy hair
How he made you feel like none off the others
and the way he looked at you touched you deep down in there
Yes, Pirate sloth, because you wouldn’t want to be an adulterer AND incestuous.
Although both beat being a necrophiliac. And about a dozen other things I’ve learned about this week
Too bad my hot cousins are already married, I’d take one for the team and be the one commenter to have tagged a family member.
hehe, member
Again, you people are way too uptight about incest. It’s jsut regular sex between two normal people (most of the time). while it’s not ideal, I fail to see how it is nastier than self-mutilation, let alone self-mutilation for sexual purposes.
Too bad I don’t have any siblings. Guess that rules me out in the KSK commenter incest pool.
@dAndy.
Well played, sir. Well played. I miss football.
Someday I will look back on this and just wonder, “was I really that bored that I was reading about a fetish final four and knowingly participate in voting?”
/I was that bored.
//I learned a few new morbid things though.
Say it ain’t so, Carl Winslow!
Relax FMRA, only 2% involve intercourse. Don’t get nervous until the comments get to 50.
Don’t worry, Future Mrs. – Of that 10-15%, 75% of those have repressed the memories associated with those events.
/doesn’t want to learn the truth behind his “eccentricities”
Can we combine the two? Marie Osmond with all the pins in her face?
Now, i think incest is wrong, but I had to vote belonephilia on the grounds that, as long as it’s consensual, incest doesn’t inflict pain or permanent physically-visible scars. And it’s sex, so it’s not the loving of the pain part that gets people off, but that they wanna bang hot relatives.
@FMRA: I wonder who it is on KSK who’s had an incestuous experience.
My cousin is sooo hot. If 10-15% of the population can empathize then that’s enough for me. I’m in.
Dear FMRA:
I make raunchy comments at a chick on a football blog on a regular basis. Although, she never responds I think she likes me. How can I tell? Do you think she would even give me a mercy fuck?
Also, will McNabb stay in Philly?
Yours in Christ,
Charlie Villanuevas Eyebrows
Damn. Now THAT (the questions in the “Savage Love” column) is the kind of question the KSK mailbag should be attracting.
“Dear KSK: Sometimes, I feed my roommate chili and then go roll around in his sheets the next morning after he’s left for work in the hopes that some of his fart particles will cling to my naked body. Is that weird.”
YES. YES IT FUCKING IS. Also, trade Delhomme.
I’m pretty sure the incest lover is PK. First, he/she uses ‘second’ improperly as, clearly, the fetish was caused by and is therefore directly related to the childhood of rape. And B, it’s signed, ‘Sick in Boston.’
Is that statistic for just the United States? Or the world over? If it’s just here in the US, I’m probably going to walk around killing people tonight.
Incest: Sometimes you need a nut, sometimes you don’t.
i lost all respect for humanity after reading that dan savage column.
thanks for that.
and jonathan proves that he is the 1 out of 10 on this post that has had an incestuous experience
@FMRA…I’d love to be your uncle and make you part of the demographic.
If you can’t keep it in your pants, keep it in your family.
research has estimated 10-15% of the general population as having at least one incest experience
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
That means if there are 10 comments on this post, the likelihood is that one of those commenters will have had an incestuous experience.
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT
Incest is actually an approved practice where I grew up. I got to know my uncle Charlie really well. The ice cream cones and van rides were worth it!