In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Round One action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.
5. Autoerotic Asphyxiation
Literal Meaning: “Hypoxyphilia is a paraphilia which is a sub-category of sexual masochism. Also known by terms such as asphyxiophilia, autoerotic or sexual asphyxia, this potentially lethal sexual practice refers to sexual arousal that is produced while reducing the oxygen supply to the brain.”
The Intarwebs say: As seen in “In the Realm of the Senses.”
Notable Advocates: Brandon Jacobs, Erik Estrada, Timothy Geithner
13. Stoma Fucking
Literal Meaning: “One who fantasizes about penetrating a surgically creating orifice, either in the in the colon or the esophagus.”
MySpace says: The best crunk/regional Mexican band out there.
Notable Advocates: Freddy Adu, Alfred Molina, Josh Whedon
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Cesarean Section Erection moves on to the Final Four?
I don’t think I can STOMAch this tournament any more!
/Wah Wah Wah Waaaaaaaah
/tympani changing pitches
/slide whistle going down
I guess that “Apply now to Hooters” ad on the sidebar is kinda helpful.
@Smello: same here. I don’t remember seeing stoma fucking in the first round. Aaaand I’m kind of sad that I caught it in the second round.
Wauw! A soccer reference? This blog is finally serving it’s overseas-audience!
Mr. Grocer said it best: “I’m gonna put a bullet hole in your fucking forehead, and I’m gonna fuck the brain hole!”
Are the Vegas sports books taking bets on this tourney? I want to put some money down on Stoma Fucking. Slothrop, maybe we can find an auto asphyxia group activity for you. Don’t bang the knife wound, man. You’ll never come back.
Stoma! Stoma! Stoma! Seems like a clear winner. A mandate from the people. Sick, twisted, people with sharp objects… but still people.
We all know that Autoerotic Asphyxiation took out Michael Hutchence, but what has Stoma Fucking done for us? I mean, Paul McCartney is alive and well, for fuck’s sake.
Bah, I wanted Siena to win, not because it was my dad’s college, but simply to witness the craziness that it would have wrought upon the rest of the tourney by fucking over almost everyone’s brackets.
What happened to the voting on with leather?
Or is Siena this year’s stoma fucking?
Stoma fucking is this year’s Siena!!!
I either missed stoma fucking during round 1 or have blocked it out of my mind due to the fact that it’s really quite gross. I could’ve lived a happy life not knowing that existed.
Gives a whole new meaning to someone telling you to “shut the fuck up before I skull fuck you.”
What about stigmata fucking?
Cinderella marches on…..Stoma is for real !!!
If stoma-fucking doesn’t wind up in the Final Four, I… I… I just don’t think I’ll know what to believe in anymore.
I like my crunk/regional Mexican music as much as the next guy, but Stoma Fetish was so much better before they sold out. It’s like they just make songs like Beefsicle to get radio play. So lame.
As for the matchup, if you can kill accidentally yourself trying to get off by choking yourself, I think the comedy quotient is too high to be as nasty as stoma fucking.
@Tracer
Yeah, but it wasn’t an exact science by any means. Really it appeared more like they just had a list of fetishes they wanted in their bracket regardless of how nasty they were. Hence Bukkake being a one seed and the number one overall pick. A pick I’m assuming will be obliterated by stomafucking or even tree rape.
Second Round, got it. Comment redacted.
The thing is, AA is a fetish for loners whereas Stoma fucking is at least social.
Also, how does a 5 play a 13?
And they were picked based on strength, or fucked up-ness, in the podcast, which is why necro-beastiality was a #1 and yellow fever was a #16.
I love how a week in nobody’s gotten the fact that the seedings were based on the order drafted in the podcast. Gotta love attention to detail!
I don’t see how stoma fucking is only a #13 seed. I can see how restricting oxygen flow to the brain might heighten an orgasm, but fucking an open wound is just . . . holy shit, that’s fucked up.
Stoma-necro-bestiality ftw!