In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Round One action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.

1. Formicophilia

Literal Meaning: “This is deriving sexual pleasure from insects crawling on the body, specifically on the genitals. It is more common in developing countries, perhaps because homes are infested with insects. This could lead to an individual’s genitals being exposed to insects (especially if they have outdoor bathrooms, as many developing countries do), and if this happens at a young age when they are sexually developing, they may derive pleasure from it.”

The Intarwebs say: Hop onto the Love Bug scene.

Notable Advocates: Lamar Odom, Chris Klein, Leah Remini

9. Vore

Literal Meaning: “This is arousal by the thought of being eaten by someone, eating someone else, or watching someone eat somebody else. It is called “vore” for short. Perhaps this is related to cannibalism, but how someone develops a fetish like this, I really could not even speculate upon. It involves pure fantasy (at least hopefully it does), since it would be very difficult to make any of the aforementioned situations reality.”

The Intarwebs say: “Yeah, a mixed blessing. On the one hand, vore being unknown can make us feel isolated and “in hiding”. But on the other hand, if there was a public opinion on vore, would that really be an improvement? It would probably be a negative opinion, placing us in the same category as necrophiles and zoophiles. Think about Furrydom’s current status in the public eye: “people who have orgies dressed up like cartoons”. And look at the treatment vore has recieved on the internet, such as from SA, which make vore sound like something you need a lobotomy to enjoy. Personally, I prefer ‘huh, vore, what is that?’ to ‘vore!? wtf is wrong with you?’ Perhaps some day in the future, being a vorarephile will not carry any social stigma among non-vores. But reaching that point will be an uphill battle.”

Notable Advocates: Torry Holt, Ben Savage, Henry Rollins