Nasty Fetish Tournament Regional Semifinal — Orson Swindle Regional No. 1 vs. No. 13
In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Regional Semifinal action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.
1. Necrobestiality
Literal Meaning: “When a gentleman engages in sexual congress with a corpse of a departed animal friend.”
The Intarwebs say: Also good for the beasts themselves.
Notable Advocates: Tony Siragusa, Chris Tucker, Peggy Noonan
13. Incest
Literal Meaning: “Any sexual activity between closely related persons and (often within the immediate family) that is illegal or socially taboo. Prevalence is difficult to generalize, but research has estimated 10-15% of the general population as having at least one incest experience, with less than 2% involving intercourse or attempted intercourse.”
Wiki says: “Having an incest fetish is all down to how you feel.” Are you feeling particularly incesty today?
Notable Advocates: Jason Witten, Jeff Bridges, Yo-Yo Ma
Tags: Nasty Fetish Final Four
March 31st, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Imagining Peggy Noonan frolicking with a pair of moldering Great Danes makes this an easy pick.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Yeah, I don’t know why necrobestiality is limited to ‘gentlemen’.
Seriously, it’s 2009.
get with the times.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:10 pm
This is a tough call. A tough call. A child who looks like Chunk as the result of soem kissing cousins? Or Peter King banging a dead horse? Hmm. Both are equally disturbing.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Screwing your sister vs. srewing a dead dog… I am suprised this one is such a run away at this point and I don’t even have a dead dog.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Given his now stated proclivity for incest, shouldn’t his name be “Yo-MY Ma?”
/horn horks
//lapel flower sprays you with water
March 31st, 2009 at 12:13 pm
or Tony Siragusa and a mini-horse
March 31st, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I still don’t understand if we’re voting for what we like best, or what we find more abhorrent.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:17 pm
I feel dirty no matter which way I vote on this…
March 31st, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Pierre: It says vote for the nastier fetish in the boilerplate paragraph on each tourney post.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Really depends on the mom…
I mean, if I want to fuck your mom, how ‘nasty’ are you if you want to fuck her, too?
Shit, used to be, you had to be royalty if you wanted access to your relatives pudding holes.
Now it’s relegated to trailer park recreation.
Still not comparable to fucking the bloated, steaming hull of a roadside possum
March 31st, 2009 at 1:02 pm
you could interpret “nastier” in two equally valid ways
March 31st, 2009 at 1:19 pm
I don’t understand how incest made it this far. Definitely the Cinderella of the tournament. It’s slightly questionable but anybody honestly saying they have never ever ever noticed their cousin’s huge rack or their sister’s tight ass is an out and out liar.
Plus, if it weren’t for incest, the populations of West Virginia and most of the Dirty South would plummet by 35%.
March 31st, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Not fucking a dead animal. Won’t fondle it, won’t caress it. Won’t do it.
March 31st, 2009 at 1:22 pm
@Bubby: I can see why incest would lose in this matchup and I think you’re right about noticing a sexy cousin of yours who has ample assets, but actually taking it to the next level and hittin’ that is oh so wrong. That being said, I voted for necrobeastiality per my previous post.
March 31st, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Necrobestiality in a landslipe in this matchup – due to the rules that Ape had to once again point out.
If we were voting on personal choice – incest would no doubt get my vote. Those games of “spin the bottle” and “5 min in heaven” would have been alot more interesting while spending the night at some of my hot cousins houses back in the day.
March 31st, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Screwing your sister vs. srewing a dead dog… I am suprised this one is such a run away at this point and I don’t even have a dead dog.
Your sister must be really REALLY ugly.
March 31st, 2009 at 1:56 pm
who the fuck is voting against necrobestiality? It’s a dead animal. Not even a living animal or a dead human- both of which are clearly nastier than sex with a close relative.
March 31st, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Not even close.
March 31st, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Fucking the corpse of a dead animal is gross, no matter how you put it.
Incest – depends. Obviously wrong. But what if it is your cousin? And she’s hot. Maybe then? Or a hot step-sister – but is that even incest? Loosely defined, incest isn’t so bad.
March 31st, 2009 at 7:46 pm
I always knew this day would come. Well, not actually. I wasn’t paying attention to the bracket and I thought we’d get standard beastiality vs. incest. But I knew I’d have to make an awful choice something like this one.
Beastiality would have won, so necrobeastiality certainly wins. Like poop said, it’s a dead animal.
March 31st, 2009 at 8:11 pm
This is one of those times where no one really wins. I feel as if they’re asking me if I have to chose betwix fucking my sister of laying some wood on Mr. Ed’s corpse.
April 1st, 2009 at 12:07 am
No contest, I mean really?! 14%?!
April 1st, 2009 at 2:28 am
/Looks at country map
Guess things are different in New Mexico…