Nasty Fetish Tournament Regional Semifinal — Christmas Ape Regional No. 6 VS. No. 7

In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Regional Semifinal action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.

6. Macrophilia

Literal Meaning: “A sexual fantasy involving domination by giants, primarily giant women. Variants include metamorphic fantasies; the shrinking of men/women so that average-sized people appear relatively huge, or more commonly, ordinary humans growing to giant size.”

Salon says: “You never forget your first glimpse of the Statue of Liberty. A towering monument to freedom, democracy and the big-girl aesthetic, she looms over New York Harbor, 225 tons of womanhood, 151 feet from toes to torch tip, her head high and huge, her massive bosom outthrust to welcome the tired, the poor, the huddled masses. For immigrants arriving on America’s shore, the statue is the earth mother of international acceptance. For macrophiles, she’s something else — the ultimate sex goddess.”

Notable Advocates: Jude Law, Del tha Funkee Homosapien, Steve Jobs

7. Menophilia

Literal Meaning: “Described as being sexually excited by a female during menstruation. This can be further described as people who are turned on by the smell, image, taste or feel of the blood expelled during menstruation.”

The Intarwebs say: You’re quite the catch among insecure types in Scotland. But you’ll have to open your wallet.

Notable Advocates: Timbaland, Tucker Max, Josh Elliott

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27 Responses to “Nasty Fetish Tournament Regional Semifinal — Christmas Ape Regional No. 6 VS. No. 7”

  1. rant_casey Says:

    Menophilia in a landslide

  2. Spilly Says:

    Shit, you know some fuckass was probably jerking it to that movie with 40 kids in the room. That right there makes it creepy enough for a ‘yes’ vote.

  3. Spilly Says:

    @rant

    It seems the floodgates have opened.

  4. Jeff Says:

    I’m calling for a Meno/Stoma final. Most blood wins it all.

  5. Charlie Villanuevas Eyebrows Says:

    A Del the Funkee homosapien reference? Nice!

  6. spanky datass Says:

    What did Macro defeat in the first round? Seems overmatched here.

  7. bk Says:

    “attack of the 50 foot woman” doesn’t stand a chance against the red sea.

  8. Tracer Bullet Says:

    Moses sez: Menophilia for the win.

  9. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    Clearly very few of us are big fans of menstruation.

  10. John Whorfin Says:

    menophilia

    it’s like chewing on a box of ten-penny nails
    and eating a live bird at the same time

  11. Ronaldino Says:

    fetish tournament = unfunny

    peter king spoof = brilliant

  12. Punch Rockgroin Says:

    It’s gonna be sad to stop making Futurama references for Macrophilia.

  13. Christmas Ape Says:

    Ronaldino = cockwallet

  14. bk Says:

    ape, ftw.

  15. DennyCuse Says:

    + 1 John Whorfin

  16. Mo Charlo Says:

    That cartoon chick is mad hot.

  17. Mo Charlo Says:

    DEATH BY SNOO SNOO

  18. limpy Says:

    Neither has a chance agaisnt the powerhouse that is fecophilia.

  19. eddiebear Says:

    ^or that vomit one

  20. Carrie Says:

    I really want more jokes relating to how menophilia is beating macrophilia to a bloody pulp.

  21. The Gooch Says:

    I want to know what that menophilia artwork is for.

    Consider me officially intrigued.

  22. Del tha Funky Macrophiliast Says:

    Our coach once told us in a pre-game speech that “eating bloody pussy was the best thing since sliced bread” and “don’t knock it till you try it.”

    I could never look his wife in the eyes after that one. (But, hey, at least we won. Maybe he was on to something….)

  23. Sarcastiholic Says:

    Had to go with menophilia in this round. I think spending time with a fifty foot woman would be like a day at an amusement park.

  24. greenman Says:

    @Del tha Funky Macrophiliast

    That was the funniest things I have read in a while.

  25. Prince Valium Says:

    The fuck seeded this thing? A 9 vs. 13 in the top half and a 6 vs. 7 in the bottom? I know it’s fun to see upsets, but you just can’t force them like this…

    I mean, seriously, having sex with a giant woman is a 6 and fucking STOMA FUCKING is a 13?!?! That’s foolishness…

  26. Philly Jim Says:

    A good study in Greek prefixes…

  27. KELLY Says:

    Wow, I can’t belive it’s almost Christmas! Thanks for the post very Cool and keep them coming!

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