Nasty Fetish Tournament Regional Semifinal — Christmas Ape Regional No. 6 VS. No. 7
In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Regional Semifinal action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.
6. Macrophilia
Literal Meaning: “A sexual fantasy involving domination by giants, primarily giant women. Variants include metamorphic fantasies; the shrinking of men/women so that average-sized people appear relatively huge, or more commonly, ordinary humans growing to giant size.”
Salon says: “You never forget your first glimpse of the Statue of Liberty. A towering monument to freedom, democracy and the big-girl aesthetic, she looms over New York Harbor, 225 tons of womanhood, 151 feet from toes to torch tip, her head high and huge, her massive bosom outthrust to welcome the tired, the poor, the huddled masses. For immigrants arriving on America’s shore, the statue is the earth mother of international acceptance. For macrophiles, she’s something else — the ultimate sex goddess.”
Notable Advocates: Jude Law, Del tha Funkee Homosapien, Steve Jobs
7. Menophilia
Literal Meaning: “Described as being sexually excited by a female during menstruation. This can be further described as people who are turned on by the smell, image, taste or feel of the blood expelled during menstruation.”
The Intarwebs say: You’re quite the catch among insecure types in Scotland. But you’ll have to open your wallet.
Notable Advocates: Timbaland, Tucker Max, Josh Elliott
Tags: Nasty Fetish Final Four
March 30th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Menophilia in a landslide
March 30th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Shit, you know some fuckass was probably jerking it to that movie with 40 kids in the room. That right there makes it creepy enough for a ‘yes’ vote.
March 30th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
@rant
It seems the floodgates have opened.
March 30th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
I’m calling for a Meno/Stoma final. Most blood wins it all.
March 30th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
A Del the Funkee homosapien reference? Nice!
March 30th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
What did Macro defeat in the first round? Seems overmatched here.
March 30th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
“attack of the 50 foot woman” doesn’t stand a chance against the red sea.
March 30th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Moses sez: Menophilia for the win.
March 30th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Clearly very few of us are big fans of menstruation.
March 30th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
menophilia
it’s like chewing on a box of ten-penny nails
and eating a live bird at the same time
March 30th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
fetish tournament = unfunny
peter king spoof = brilliant
March 30th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
It’s gonna be sad to stop making Futurama references for Macrophilia.
March 30th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Ronaldino = cockwallet
March 30th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
ape, ftw.
March 30th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
+ 1 John Whorfin
March 30th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
That cartoon chick is mad hot.
March 30th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
DEATH BY SNOO SNOO
March 30th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Neither has a chance agaisnt the powerhouse that is fecophilia.
March 30th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
^or that vomit one
March 30th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
I really want more jokes relating to how menophilia is beating macrophilia to a bloody pulp.
March 30th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
I want to know what that menophilia artwork is for.
Consider me officially intrigued.
March 30th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Our coach once told us in a pre-game speech that “eating bloody pussy was the best thing since sliced bread” and “don’t knock it till you try it.”
I could never look his wife in the eyes after that one. (But, hey, at least we won. Maybe he was on to something….)
March 30th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Had to go with menophilia in this round. I think spending time with a fifty foot woman would be like a day at an amusement park.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:20 am
@Del tha Funky Macrophiliast
That was the funniest things I have read in a while.
March 31st, 2009 at 12:45 am
The fuck seeded this thing? A 9 vs. 13 in the top half and a 6 vs. 7 in the bottom? I know it’s fun to see upsets, but you just can’t force them like this…
I mean, seriously, having sex with a giant woman is a 6 and fucking STOMA FUCKING is a 13?!?! That’s foolishness…
March 31st, 2009 at 2:44 am
A good study in Greek prefixes…
November 6th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Wow, I can’t belive it’s almost Christmas! Thanks for the post very Cool and keep them coming!