In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Round One action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.
6. Tamakeri
Literal Meaning: “A sexual fetish and sub-genre where a female kicks or grabs a male by the balls and begins to squeeze and twist the testicles to gain a sense of power over him by having his genitals at her mercy. Some tamakeri fetishists report that they prefer to see kicks that resound with a hearty slap. Pornographic tamakeri videos cater primarily to masochistic men for whom the idea of getting their testicles kicked is sexually stimulating, at least in fantasy, though the genre has some female following.”
What The Intarwebs Say: “FINALLY!!!! The ‘always sick’ Japanese men are asking for it after all this while that they have degraded and abused their female kind sexually – it is time for justice! Two Thumbs up for the sicko who invented this! It’s Kick balls time mama!”
Notable Advocates: Gene Hackman, Hank Azaria, Kurt Stillwell
11. Pegging
Literal Meaning: When a woman wears a strap-on and penetrates a man.
What Wiki Says: “The origin of the neologism ‘pegging’ was a winning entry in a June 21, 2001, contest in Dan Savage’s Savage Love sex advice column. In the column, it was a specifically heterosexual term; the competition was held after an observation was made that there was no common name for the practice of females penetrating heterosexual men with a dildo.”
Notable Advocates: Ray Bourque, Seth McFarlane, Todd McFarlane
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you know, this is the only one so far on KSK where I don’t want anything to do with either of them in any way, shape or form. I mean I won’t even watch a porno of either of these.
seems like at least an Elite Eight matchup and it’s a shame one of them has to get knocked out in the first round.
Why is “NONE” not an option?
Slash,
Don’t get your panties in a twist over the use of the word natural. What is this your freshman year writing seminar?
Without the aid of science, in order for the human race to exist, a penis has to penetrate a vagina and shoot out a hot, sticky load. Because of this, I used the word “natural.” I wasn’t trying to say it was the right or wrong way to have sex.
And I don’t insist on anything. At least when I’m not playing RapeLay. Nor do I think that a woman has to be ok with putting it in her ass. If a woman doesn’t want to give up the butt, that’s fine. But there’s nothing wrong with asking for it while not being comfortable with the idea of getting a penis, either human or synthetic, inserted into your own anus.
Finally, I’m going to go vote for pegging again. That shit is gross.
Dear KSK, How can I get my boyfriend to take it in the ass? Also, who should the Jets take in the first round?
Slash,
That’s a good idea actually!
But nah, if the chick gets me horny enough, I’m usually willing to engage in some pretty hardcore stuff.
RE The Gooch:
“That’s a good point, but I still disagree. I think you can want to put it in a girl’s rear end but not want to have anything violate the sanctity of your rectum without being a hypocritical douchebag. The way I see it, girls, by their very nature, are built to have things inserted in to them. That’s how they have sex, for the most part. So to ask them to put it in one more hole isn’t that much of a stretch”
It isn’t the desire for anal I have a problem with, it’s the insistence that women should give it up, but men shouldn’t have to. Not cool. Saying women should have no problem with anal because they have other holes that things go into, well: a) men have just as many holes as women do, and as disturbing as it is to contemplate, some of them apparently enjoy having things go in ALL of them (yes, even that one), and 2) Who are you to say what’s “natural”? A big screen TV isn’t “natural,” but men seem to really like those.
RE Needs More Cheerleaders Says:
“If some smoking hot chick whispers to me I can stuff it up her ass but I’ll have to let her return the favor, well, we can negotiate.”
I’d like to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I suspect this means, “I’ll do her first, then we’ll both be so spent, I won’t have to hold up my end of the bargain, so to speak. And if she gets mad, so what, I’ve already got mine.”
the fuck did you do, stick a light bulb up in there or something?
man, i don’t know, it wasn’t all that traumatic. less so than a thorough hernia-check.
so that could explain my vote here…
I just have a hard time placing the label of ”nastier” on something that is really just a variation of anal sex, which a large segment of the population enjoys. It’s not for you, it ain’t for me, but a lot of people dig it. you put the man in front, the woman in back…fuckit that’s just geometry.
Getting kicked in the nuts? yeah that’s some “what, they do that in Japan?” shit. that’s something German executives pay for. (nevermind that last bit, i wouldn’t put anything on this list past a German.) but something like 99.9 percent of all dudes would say “HELL NO” to getting kicked in the balls. the percentage is just not that high for getting pegged.
He did, but the lube, IT DOES NOSSING!
Honestly, I had no idea he was going to go that far up my butt. It was pretty much a full finger length, and it hurt like a motherfucker.
See, now this is a fucking solid matchup. I can see the eroticism in both and they’re both just “ick” inducing enough that you really have to think about it.
That said, I don’t give a flying fuck HOW hot a girl is, she’s not kicking/kneeing/ripping my nuts. Give a guy a good kick in the balls and I seriously doubt he’s thinking “And now I’m gonna fuck her sideways!”
If some smoking hot chick whispers to me I can stuff it up her ass but I’ll have to let her return the favor, well, we can negotiate.
It’s ofcourse not surprising that this kneeing a guy in the balls thing comes from Japan. God that country is fucked up.
gooch did he use lube?
to be honest I was a little scared I might enjoy it. because if I did, that opens all new avenues of depravity for me to explore. I’ve got enough already. really.
j4b: I should have given you the benefit of the doubt and not Cosmo. apologies. of course they said that all men like assplay. they’re fucking cosmo and they’re full of shit.
/Rorschach extends gloved hand
but until you’ve had at least a finger in there you can never really be sure.
I just want a little tenderness.
The man had fingers like sausages. SAUSAGES, I TELLS YA!
@Gooch-if your doctor checking you for hemorrhoids gave you nightmares, getting a prostate exam might just kill you. Just like the prostate cancer will if you don’t get it checked. Which way do you want it?
well i don’t read cosmo, i’ll admit
‘men’ do dig assplay. lots of them. so that is not bullshit
if cosmo said all men dig assplay, that’s retarded.
that’s on cosmo, don’t blame me for that shit. all i know about it is what you wrote.
there’s lots of black folks and puerto ricans in New York, too. No racists live there? that’s your proof that you’re not homophobic?
Jackin,
You’re clearly a latent homosexual. How dare you not enjoy things being put into your butt! HOW DARE YOU, SIR!
right. except for the millions of gay dudes that enjoy this on a regular basis.
and they’re somehow structurally different from you, so you’re cool.
Why yes I am cool, glad that you finally recognized that fact, but that’s besides the point. Since we were talking about a WOMAN with a DILDO ramming it up a HETEROSEXUAL man’s ASS, then wtf do what gay men like have to do with my response? That’s what they like, good for them, but that’s not what we’re talking about here so kindly read before commenting or fuck off.
Secondly, not wanting anything in my ass DOES NOT make me a homophobe since I never demand anal from my woman and I could give a shit what gay men do in their spare time. I live in NYC, if I was a homophobe I’d move to somewhere less liberal like dumbfuckistan. Do I think that cosmo told its readers that men like ass play? Yes. Does that now make it more desirable for most men? HELL NO.
So there you have it. Keep your generalizations to yourself unless you really know what it is you’re talking about.
What did Ray Bourque ever do to you?
QLJ maybe I am having my own little HoMoPhoFlaWa
but sex and sexuality matter way more to me than the shit that other people get worked up over
also I care about my balls
bleeding testicles, testicular strangulation, and surgery to repair damaged testicles are all really nasty ideas if you ask me
drop the Homophobia. figure out who you really are before you ruin your life.
there’s plenty of women out there who like it up the poop-chute
the other ones? they all have VAGINAS! who needs the butt?
honestly I give anal by request only. why don’t you just leave the woman alone if she don’t want it up the ass?
@Whorfin,
you have really really thought too much about this. your number of posts alone alarm me. As is stated in the guidelines for voting in the field, the nastier fetish wins. THINGS UP BUTTS ARE NASTY! period. No psychology. but yes, I am a homophobe. for my own butthole. thats it.
Come on guys, even Led Zeppelin couldn’t make a good album about putting it in the butt.
Slash,
That’s a good point, but I still disagree. I think you can want to put it in a girl’s rear end but not want to have anything violate the sanctity of your rectum without being a hypocritical douchebag. The way I see it, girls, by their very nature, are built to have things inserted in to them. That’s how they have sex, for the most part. So to ask them to put it in one more hole isn’t that much of a stretch. Guys, on the other hand, find it more natural to penetrate, so to ask them to now let something be inserted into them is more of a stretch. Horrible pun not intended.
yeah, we’re not making the same point exactly, slash. but it’s all about domination. woman is expected to catch cum from all directions, but man doesn’t want anything pointed at him.
whatever, I like being dominant and i like women who like that. my butt’s not sensitive. so I stick with the predominant archetypal hetero male sexual activities.
but at least I’ve given the alternatives some thought. seems to me that perfectly normal people can do that stuff
but getting kicked in the balls is simply not an option.
whatever. let it be. homophobes get kicked in the balls.
i’m ok with that.
I definitely know where ‘the door’ is
See, John Whorfin gets it, kinda. I certainly wouldn’t say that if you’re a guy and don’t want stuff up your ass, that it makes you a homophobe. But if you’re that guy AND you expect women to take it up the ass without complaint or hesitation, that does make you a big fucking hypocrite. All your holes must remain untried, but hers, fair game, and if she doesn’t agree, you’ll whine like a little bitch and imply that she’s inhibited or selfish or whatever.
I suspect (amateur psychology or whatever warning) that men use the “that’s gay” excuse because they care less about appearing to be homophobic than they do about looking like a hypocrite. Because if you insist that a chick take it up the ass but believe your own asshole is a no-go zone, that kinda makes you an asshole, ironically. What makes your asshole so special that it can’t be violated, but the woman has to give it up simply because you just can’t do without it? Pussy and mouth alone aren’t good enough for you, you have to have the asshole, too? But you’re not gay? Seems like this is a perfect opportunity for some reciprocity, if you’re into the asshole so much. But so many straight dudes express horror at the very idea. It’s amusing.
I don’t want a dick up my ass for a variety of reasons. And anybody who has a problem with that knows where the door is. I acknowledge the double standard, but I don’t have to respect it or accept it or accommodate it.
Swig – I recommend a Luffa.
“that’s some bullshit that cosmo made up.”
right. except for the millions of gay dudes that enjoy this on a regular basis.
and they’re somehow structurally different from you, so you’re cool.
Kicking in the balls isn’t nasty its just painful and wrong in every way. While getting the dildo in the A is both nasty and wrong…..don’t be fooled pegging is clear winner here
Tamakeri and Pegging were two of the things my ex wrote into our wedding vows. She told me it was a German thing and it would make her Nanna happy.
This is just too close to call as I find both pretty disturbing. I actually am fond of my frank and beans and don’t want them injured in any way. A stiff brush up against them could even be too much. But pegging is an absolute no-no in my book and I don’t want to hear about men digging ass-play, that’s some bullshit that cosmo made up.
I would vote for a tie in this case or at least 50 overtimes until all players died from exhaustion. If I had to vote, it would be for pegging since that shit is not cool.
I can’t even understand why anyone is debating this. Worst case scenario:
Tamakeri: Your testicles get crushed and you never again reproduce, walk properly or achieve erection.
Pegging: You might like it.
Can’t somebody just not want something shoved up their ass? Why does that make one a homophobe?
What if you were turned on by a girl wearing a strap-on while fucking her in the ass? Is that gay? Or would you have to perform the reach around while she grunts gutterly?
…
Does thinking about this mean I might be gay?
…
If I wanted to wash this gayness off would I need homophobic soap, or homophilic soap?
Hey, I’m with you gooch
I’m just saying you should know why.
Also kind of a ‘don’t knock it til you’ve tried it’ sentiment.
Personally, assplay don’t arouse me, and I’m really afraid of what might come out of my ass, more than what’s going in it.
But, you know
You forgot notable tamakeri aficionados Wayne Rooney and Logan Mankins.
This one was a bloodbath. Can’t wait until both are eliminated by fucking surgical holes.
Are you guys serious? Can’t somebody just not want something shoved up their ass? Why does that make one a homophobe?
Dougery – maybe they’re more like bags of sand?
JAFO’s dookie chute has a exit-only policy. The scrote is just gonna have to take one for the ‘team’.
Rocco, seems to me that Tamakeri has about as much to do with light ballplay as Pegging does with a little fingering around the rim.
A proper ball squeeze executed correctly does not hurt, and that is the definition I choose to follow here. It still gives the woman the position of power, which is what I see as the fetish. I don’t see where it necessarily has to be painful. Now, a little ass play isn’t out of bounds, but a whole fucking dildo shoved up there? No thanks. Pegging is hands down nastier.
I kind of thought that was Slash’s point. Plenty of women don’t want to be ass-reamed either.
but it is an intriguing matchup from an intellectual standpoint. I’m not a sociologist, anthropologist, or evolutionary biologist, but those people have a lot to say about this topic.
homophobia is adjunct to misogyny
the reason why you won’t allow anyone to fuck your butt is because you’re afraid it will make you a ‘punk’ or a ‘bitch’. i.e. a woman
the reason why you don’t want to be a woman is because your gender identity is tied up in physical dominance.
men are supposed to be bigger, stronger, and more aggressive.
but we actually are.
the reason why we’re bigger, stronger, and more aggressive is because we have external genitalia and the men who were better able to protect their nuts lived to reproduce. (also because we are the ones who are better at protecting pregnant women from harm and protecting ourselves from pregnant women)
of course, there are good reasons not to want to be fucked in the butt
for example, shit.
but if you’re somebody who gets off on that stuff, why should a little dookie stop you?
so, we’re comparing two fetishes where one basically defies cultural and social preconceptions of gender identity and sexuality
and the other directly assaults the necessary elements of the survival of our species
so all you guys who think protecting the rectum is more crucial than scrotal security…why is that?
this one is easy. Don’t kind yourself. I’m sure it is not light fondling, more like some evil death-squeezing. Just picture a bunch of raw cookie dough in your hand and then squeeze as hard as you can. not saying the consistency is even remotely the same, but that is the mental image I am left with. and that is merely the image, let alone the sensation.
and apparently there is a little button up in there out back. supposedly a good time. Ironically, I’m *too much* of a pussy to allow my ass to be utilized as one.
Pegging may reveal you are gay. Tamakeri may make you asexual!!!
No thanks.
@ Slash – Yes, it is a double standard, and that won’t change. I don’t think not wanting something shoved up your ass necessarily makes you homophobic. Pardon the double negative.
At least if you let a chick fuck you in the ass, you can bend her over and return the favor.
Interesting how men express disgust at the idea of anything up their ass (can’t say that I blame them, doesn’t tempt me, either), but women are supposed to accept it. Just an observation.
As for the ball torturing, I just don’t get that, but there are a lot of things I don’t get. Apparently. And I’m fine with that.
If I was a dude, guess I’d have to go for the anal, rather than the ball torture. Seems like it comes down to homophobia vs. natural impulse to protect the family jewels, and I would think avoidance of pain in the testicles would be the preference, but I don’t have balls, so I could be wrong about that.
As one who has seen Tamakeri porn, I’m pretty sure some of you assholes have no idea what you’re talking about. Either that or you never rode a ten speed and got off the seat wrong. As long as the chick isn’t some Rachel Maddow lookalike into ramming it home without lube, a little anus play is a very pleasurable experience.
Actually, this should’ve been an #8 vs #9 match up. Even though Tamakeri is the obvious winner, there are enough homophobic fuckers in the world that the idea of a dildo up the ass is preferable to getting their nuts pummeled.
Ray Bourque, you mother fucker. I should’ve known.
@Westbrook
yeah, I mean it’s some fucked up shit (Har-har-har) but at least there’s a chance that a normal person might enjoy being fucked in the ass. I’ve met enough women that fucking love it. Plenty of gay dudes seem to love it. If you’re a sensitive-anus guy, this is probably better than a sneaky finger, and definitely better than letting another dude fuck your butt.
any fetish that is likely to do permanent physical damage and possibly lead to losing a nut is nastier to me than something that may cause permanent psychological damage. psychological damage? please I got plenty of that already.
At least pegging would feel nice on the prostate…
These choices are both despicable. After careful consideration, I choose pegging as the most despicable. The mental trauma from getting an ass fucking is not something a proud hetero is getting over quickly. I’ve been kicked in the nuts, and while it hurt physically, there were no emotional scars.
I’d much prefer something shoved up my ass. No homo.
Tamakeri. I’d take the chance of a slight misfire over the can’t miss pegging.
@ Quentin LogJammin’: Nope, I just recognize that my asshole will heal a lot faster than my huevos.
I can only assume the Hank Azaria reference is in relation to football to the groin.
“Barney’s movie had heart, but Football in the Groin had a football in the groin.”
I deliberated really long on this one. The downside to both fetishes are too obvious and depressing to enumerate.
But I kept thinking back to when I had my doctor check me for hemorrhoids. I couldn’t sleep for days.
My vote goes to pegging.
Are we talking like a couple of slaps to the balls or like a full on hour of abuse here? I mean I think I’d take a kick or two to the balls to avoid having something shoved up my ass, but if my options are being tied to a chair like in Casino Royale while the banker works me over or having a girl shove something up my ass, I’d prolly go for the ass thing.
I don’t even like to have my bestfriends licked, let alone hadukened. In this bizzaro KSK world where every blog post is a False Dilemma, I actively choose Pegging.
/checks padlock on lexan testicle casing
Fuck, tough choice.
June 21, 2001? Sex fetishes were so innocent and pure before 9.11.
Yea but knee to the groin had knees to the groin.
Only 28% for pegging??? You are all bunch of sick homos!!!
this was an easy one for me, ball pain goes away, being anally penetrated can fuck with you for a lifetime men. dont be fooled by this one. dildos in the butt is NASTY
Tracer is gay
My balls are delicate and what man doesn’t enjoy receiving a little ass-play now and again? Tamakeri.
I suppose a draw isn’t possible in a NCAA-style nasty fetish tournament…
Thank god for the Japanese. Long live Tamakeri!
:-(