Nasty Fetish Tournament Opening Round — Orson Regional No. 2 vs. No. 15
In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Round One action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.
2. Fecophilia
Literal Meanings: A desire to get shat upon, or introduce feces into sex
What The Intarwebs Say: “In the masterful modern work 2girls1cup, the feminist genre is reexamined through a series of reversals of expectations. The prevalent ideologies of our culture are filtered through the lens of the pornographic genre – and, in true modern form – the work tends to raise more questions than it answers.”
Notable Advocates: Patrick Willis, Laura Ingraham, Demetri Martin
15. Agalmatophilia
Literal Meaning: “A paraphilia concerned with the sexual attraction to a statue, doll, mannequin or other similar figurative object. The attraction may include the desire for actual sexual contact with the objects, a fantasy of having sexual (or non-sexual) encounters with the animate or inanimate instances of the preferred objects, the act of watching encounters between the objects themselves, or sexual pleasure gained from thoughts of being transformed or transforming another into the preferred object.”
What The Intarwebs Say: “I know I’m in desperate need of some sex because lately I’ve been checking out mannequins.”
Notable Advocates: Jeremy Piven, Nicolas Sarkozy, Paul Hogan
Tags: Nasty Fetish Final Four
March 18th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
poop sex ftw
March 18th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
im shocked that somehow osi was overlooked as an avid fecophiliac.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Yeah this one isn’t that hard to figure out.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
it just keeps getting worse.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Fucking mannequins is just weird, but shit is shit.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
is anyone concerned with the 14% that chose Agalmatophilia to be worse than Fecophilia? just me..ah ok.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
I’d just like to take this opportunity to say that Demetri Martin is probably the least funny person on the planet and that I hope he gets turned into fecal matter in the intestinal tract of an anaconda.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Is it a tie if you like to have sex with statues covered in birdshit?
March 18th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Andrew McCarthy is upset he didn’t get the shout out for agalmatophilia.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Osi was on Cowherd as I read this post…poop!
And yes, an Andrew McCarthy ref is required.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
@Otto: Don’t worry; he’s waiting for Necrophilia. He can spend entire weekends fucking dead guys.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
What, no mention of Osi Umenyiora? Or is he listed under “urination”?
March 18th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
What about Osi? I would think that he’d be a notable fecophilist?
March 18th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Marshawn
I must have missed that one.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
yeah, a dildo with legs and a hat is still a dildo. since when is a dildo nasty?
dookie, on the other hand, is pretty much the soul of nastiness.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
He called the shit poop!
March 18th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Clearly I never want to meet at least 14% of you.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
@Otto: Don’t worry; he’s waiting for Necrophilia. He can spend entire weekends fucking dead guys.
You know, now that I think about it, McCarthy’s early movie career is pretty much a roadshow of sexual fetishes.
Class: MILFs
Heaven Help Us: Catholic School girls
Pretty in Pink: slum fucking
Mannequin: Agalmatophilia
Weekend at Bernie’s: Necrophilia
Joy Luck Club: Asian chicks
March 18th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Otto, now you’ve started to put your finger on some reasons why the 80s’ Comeback is inevitable, unstoppable, and already in progress
March 18th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Fecophilia is a no brainer here. No Richmond/Syracuse upset here. And those Old Navy Mannequins are the BOMB!
March 18th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
dookie, on the other hand, is pretty much the soul of nastiness
liberate tutame ex inferis
March 18th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
j4b: what did they start putting hips on them or something? nipples I’ve seen…
March 18th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
liberate tutame ex inferis
so hell is just a bunch of ankles and stuff…
or is hell watching a perfectly good sci-fi flick turn into a shit horror flick?
March 18th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Don’t want the Doo Doo.
March 18th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Otto, now you’ve started to put your finger on some reasons why the 80s’ Comeback is inevitable, unstoppable, and already in progress
After all he’s seen, there’s no fucking way I’m putting my finger on Andrew McCarthy. I’m starting to think that Robert Downey was the cleaner one in “Less Than Zero.”
March 18th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
j4b: in vino veritas
I see I’m not the only one here forced to fondle priest-balls when I got my Latin words wrong…
March 18th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
law school didn’t have any priest balls
unless you went to a Jesuit school
March 18th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Fucking an inanimate object can’t be that nasty, most married men would agree they’ve been fucking lifeless dolls for years. And that’s not even bringing up inflatable partners.
/goes back to his lifeless doll
March 18th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
at least the blow-up doll responds when you poke it…?
March 18th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Animal Mother,
HEY-OOOOOOOOOO!!!
March 18th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
@AM zing!
/me too…..
March 18th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
So if I were eating someone while fisting a robot and having sex with a dead chick with poop on her chest and bugs in her gina, would I be the sickest f*** in the world? Oh yeah, I’m gettin pegged from behind, too : )
March 18th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
roachmine don’t forget the snuff
March 18th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
Shitting is only a 2 seed? Did it have a weak conference or something?
March 18th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
or is hell watching a perfectly good sci-fi flick turn into a shit horror flick?
Good point, although I still watch it mainly for the Sci-Fi aspect.
I see I’m not the only one here forced to fondle priest-balls when I got my Latin words wrong…
I figured the latin wasn’t exactly right, but didn’t realize it was completely wrong until a few minutes ago. That sucks… Oh well, I guess imdb can no longer be trusted for accuracy. I got out of Catholic school before the priests began to take a liking to me so that’s always a good thing.
March 18th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
“Good point, although I still watch it mainly for the Sci-Fi aspect.”
you turn it off before Sam Neill turns into Pinhead? shit pisses me off just to think about it.
March 18th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
This one is easy. Shitting during sex is just fucking disgusting. Being attracted to a mannequin… meh. I’d fuck a robot if it looked hot, so a mannequin wouldn’t be that much different. (Except it won’t let me play Dawn of War 2 while I’m banging it up the ass.)
Btw, am I the only one who watched 2 girls 1 cup and thought it was fake? I’m pretty fucking positive that’s just mocha icecream they’re swapping. They’d have had SOME kind of reaction to it otherwise.
March 18th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Fucking an inanimate object can’t be that nasty, most married men would agree they’ve been fucking lifeless dolls for years.
+ 10 fucking billion.
/cries bitter tears.
March 18th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
In defense of Dimitri Martin, the only shit that he enjoys is his own comedy.
March 18th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
@NMC: I totally think it was fake.
And this is no contest. Shit is shit, son.
March 18th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
Holy fecophilia, how is the shitting thing not a #1 seed?
March 19th, 2009 at 6:05 am
google search: erotic falconry; obviously a fetish on the bubble.
March 19th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Ummm… Najeh Davenport? How quickly we forget.