Nasty Fetish Tournament Opening Round — Christmas Ape Regional No. 3 vs. No. 14
In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Round One action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.
3. Frottage
Literal Meaning: “A specific paraphilia which involves the non-consensual rubbing against another person to achieve sexual arousal. The contact is usually with the hands or the genitals and may involve touching any part of the body including the genital area. A person who practices frotteurism is known as a frotteur. The majority of frotteurs are male and the majority of victims are female, although female on male, female on female, and male on male frotteurs exist.”
Wiki says: “Frottage, also known as dry humping, is sex without penetration where both partners rub or grind on each other to achieve an orgasm. This can be done either clothed or unclothed and can be achieved genital to genital or genital to other body parts. Frottage can be used as foreplay before anal sex or as the primary means of intimacy.”
Notable Advocates: Adrian Brody, Ad-Rock, Michael Ian Black
14. Leather
Literal Meaning: A need to incorporate tight leather clothing into sex.
The Intarwebs Say: “Leather Leadership Conference, Inc.: An organization dedicated to strengthening the S&M/leather/fetish community through the development of leadership skills, fostering community, and hosting annual conferences.”
THE LEATHER CLAD SHALL LEAD US!
Notable Advocates: Chris Berman, Catherine Keener, Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Tags: Nasty Fetish Final Four
March 19th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
I remember the mid-90s as a Frottage free-for-all on the 6 train. Nasty is a very apt description.
March 19th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I thought we already had Frottage?
March 19th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Wait, frottage AND chikan made the bracket?
does this mean the chikan specifically refers to frottage by Japanese men? If so that considerably increases the nasty factor for chikan and may affect the outcome of the chikan v. barely legal matchup
a clarification seems in order
March 19th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
smello- remember ‘the Whirlpool’ ?
March 19th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
The 6 train is still very much a free for all, FYI.
March 19th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
John:
One is a Mid-Major, while the other hails from the Big East
March 19th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
This is what I do, I sit on you.
Nice T&E reference.
March 19th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Frottage? Father Murphy told me that was called that Alterboy Orientation.
March 19th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Frottage? Uh…who didn’t engage in some “frottage” in middle school/high school? That’s what those dances were for, right?
I go with leather ftw. Not that it’s that uncommon or nasty, but sadly, not everyone wearing leather has the body for it. And there’s nothing nice about big people in tight leather outfits, sweating their balls out.
March 19th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I thought rubbin’ was racin’.
March 19th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Reggie makes a good point. Another conception of ‘nasty’
March 19th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
I named my fantasy team “Unintentional Frottage,” which Drew coined in the Jamboroo
March 19th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Boy those are a couple of disgusting fetishes. Well done. Excuse me while I clean the vomit off my keyboard.
March 19th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Leather. Anything so closely associated with Chris Berman has to be fucked up.
March 19th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Yeah, I’m not seeing a difference between Frottage and Chikan either. Great job, guys. You couldn’t even come up with 64 unique fetishes? C’mon. Watch some German porn and you’d have 45 before the credits roll.
I’m going to go with Leather since I never wear underwear anywhere so I’m probably guilty of Frottage from time to time.
Plus if you’ve ever seen any leather porn, they aren’t talking about a leather jacket or leather pants…they wear FULL BODY SUITS covering themselves from head to toe with just a little itty bitty flap for your dick or pussy. Anybody who needs encased in the tanned hide of a dead animal to get off is a nasty fucker.
March 19th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Sometimes you get Bucknell-Princeton. Makes the Final Four that much more gratifying
March 19th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
6-train definitely had some creeps get busted within the last couple years. But, they could all roll, man. Now it’s mostly a crowd of “’scuse me, ladies and gentlemen!” kids selling peanut M&Ms “not for no basketball team, but to put money in my pocket.” Not really sure how they bowl.
March 19th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Omelettte du Frottage
March 19th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
+1 LaFavre
March 19th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Rubbing without completion is the leading cause of blue balls. NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!
March 19th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
@Punch: It’s like those French. Have a different word. For everything!
March 19th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
strokin’.
March 19th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
You ever wander into an erotic boutique thinking it’d be a good place to buy your friend a vibrator only to discover that the store actually specializes in hardcore fetish gear? And then, while you’re stammering out “I’m just looking” to a salesperson while trying to avoid awkwardly staring at the GIANT SPECULUM on the shelf behind her, inadvertently backed into a shelf and then turned slightly to your left only to find yourself face-to-face with a full-head leather mask without a single opening except for a long tube over the mouth that is intended for peeing in?
LEATHER SCARES ME.
March 19th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Why yes, FMRA, I do that all the time.
March 19th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Ooooh, I hate it when that happens
March 19th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
@fmra: “For a friend?” Come on, we won’t think less of you for buying a vibrator for yourself.
March 19th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
You see, I also fear leather because I happened to stumble onto an outfit that appeared to be geared towards watersports fetishists.
March 19th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
@FMRA: Leather didn’t scare me until that story.
And there are defitely 64 fetishes so that there doesn’t need to be frottage and chikan. Besides, I don’t get what’s weird about dry-humping.
March 19th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
There ain’t nothin’ wrong…
March 19th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
That frottage picture looks like the Japanese version of Journey’s “Separate Ways” video
March 19th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
At first I thought Chris Berman was the nasty fetish.
Nothing weird about consensual dry-humping, especially when you pay $20 for 3 minutes of it. I’m assuming “frottage” is non-consensual dry-humping. A lapdance is always better when the stripper is crying.
March 19th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
I can’t believe I have to post this link for the second day in a row, but here it is:
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/its_not_easy_being_a_frotteur
Frottage is NOT consensual. At least, not in its nastiest, purest form, which is what I believe we should consider in a tournament like this.
March 19th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
@FMRA – No, but once when I was in a store that I thought was a gag gift store, only to find out it was a sex shop, looking for a blow up – well never mind what I was looking for. As I was saying, I was in this store and got confronted by this young female salesperson wearing a very short skirt, well it wasn’t really a skirt it was more of a big belt and a thong. So she startled me and I backed up and felt something pressing into my ass, and when I turned to see what it was, well, you can imagine my embarrasment when it turned out to be this very large, anatomically correct penis shaped device that I’m sure was some sort of medical aide. That is why I am scared shitless of getting poked by one of those things, in the ass.
March 19th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
So Frottage is not what goes down in the club…. I guess I’ll have to change my business cards.
March 19th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
…with a little bump and griiiiiiind
12 Play makes a comeback on KSK, who knew?
March 19th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
I want something that says “Leather Daddy”
March 19th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Punch with the Dexter’s Lab reference? Wow.
March 19th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Leather itself is actually pretty fun, but ofcourse people make some seriously disturbed shit with it (as aptly described by FMRA.)
Frottage, meh. Even if it’s non-consensual, how nasty is that, really? So you grind your dick against a girl a few times, she gets angry and slaps you/knees you in the balls (what was that called again?)/throws a drink in your face/takes you home.
Neither of these is making it to the final four.
March 19th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Frottage is pretty close to the japanese thing we had on here recently.
But I’m going with leather. Who likes bagpiping I mean really
March 19th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
How is dry humping a 3 seed when Squicking didn’t even get in the tourny.
March 19th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
I’m not sure what either of these is doing in the tournament.