Nasty Fetish Tournament Opening Round — Christmas Ape Regional No. 2 vs. No. 15
In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Round One action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.
2. Cuckolding
Literal Meaning: “Cuckolding among female-dominant couples differs from the original definition of cuckolding in that many of these men are willing to be cuckolded by their wives, sometimes as part of the their sexual fantasy and sometimes because they gain genuine sexual arousal through being humiliated by his wife being better sexually fulfilled with a potentially superior male, or by the wife domination of her husband making him give her oral satisfaction after she returns fresh from her lovers side.”
What the Intarwebs Say: “While watching another man have sex with his female partner, a cuck also negotiates a homoerotic encounter in a way that feels less threatening to his heterosexual identity. A cuck with latent bisexual or gay tendencies may be unwilling to have sex with a man, but can concede to watching his woman in the act and vicariously experience it through her. If he decides to perform oral sex on a bull [a cuck], it’s spun as an act meant to please his female partner. The presence of a conduit — the wife or girlfriend — helps to contain his desires within a safer scope of bi-curious sexuality.”
Notable Advocates: Jon Lovitz, Phil Simms, Michael Steele
15. Lactation
Literal Meaning: An adult’s sexual arousal from being breastfed. Depending on the context, the terms adult suckling, adult nursing, and adult breastfeeding can refer to the practice. Practitioners sometimes refer to themselves as being in an adult nursing relationship (ANR).
Wiki says: “In traditional Islamic law, someone who suckles the breast of a woman is that woman’s child, either biologically or through a foster relationship. However, according the Jurist Abu’s-Su`ud (c.1490-1574), this only applies to sucklings under the age of two and a half years. This is a source of some dispute, as a modern Saudi Jurist, in 1983, upheld that if a man suckles from his wife, their marriage is nullified. The query remains a popular one into the 21st century, and has come up in Saudi advice columns.”
Notable Advocates: Thomas Friedman, Matthew Lesko, ?uestlove
Tags: Nasty Fetish Final Four
March 19th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Cuckolding sounds like a pretty sweet deal for the chick involved, if I do say so myself.
March 19th, 2009 at 10:12 am
For some reason I don’t quite understand, Cuck Porn ALWAYS seems to involve a fat white woman from down South and one or more black men banging the shit out her while her skinny white husband jacks off.
I wouldn’t say that’s nasty in and of itself but the obligatory “cleaning up” scene after they finish their business and the hubby gets to mop up duties (with his tongue) definitely drives this into the “Fucking Nasty” category for me.
Especially since lactation seems fairly harmless. For one thing, fuller boobs look much better and if men are gonna suck them anyway, might as well get some nourishment out of the deal.
March 19th, 2009 at 10:21 am
If ?uesto likes it, it can’t be wrong. Cuckholding gets my vote.
March 19th, 2009 at 10:21 am
There’s a really creepy sub-culture around cuckolding. After the rise of MILF porn, I suppose it was inevitable.
March 19th, 2009 at 10:21 am
MANDINGOS!
March 19th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Got Breast MILK?
March 19th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Are any of the KSK Kommenters Islamic Jurists who can weigh in on the suckling/lactation controversy?
March 19th, 2009 at 10:32 am
How is this a #2 v. #15, and the giant woman/bondage matchup was a 6/10?
March 19th, 2009 at 10:33 am
I think it’s safe to assume FMRA is down with the brown.
March 19th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Sharia law for all!!!!
/ducks flying shoe
March 19th, 2009 at 10:44 am
too much racism, suppressed sexuality, and misogyny at play in cuckolding for my tastes.
hopefully futuremrs. is referring to the ‘getting pounded by multiple dudes and having her pick of the dicks’ part as a sweet deal, and not the ‘watching your boyfriend slurp dude-goo because that’s what he really wanted all along’ part.
as for breast milk, well it don’t really taste all that great, but you gotta try it.
March 19th, 2009 at 10:52 am
True story: When I was living in SF, I saw a woman who had to be in her late 50’s/early 60’s whip out her tit on a public bus and start breastfeeding like a 10 year old kid. It was one of the most fucked up things I’ve ever seen.
March 19th, 2009 at 10:56 am
How is this even close? Cuckolding in a romp.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:01 am
“How is this even close?”
hey, it’s a two/fifteen. these things usually go to form.
but, really, i barely think of lactating as nasty at all. I mean, it’s intended for human consumption.
lactating must’ve won its conference tournament, upsetting ‘letting a woman cum in your mouth’ and ‘masturbating with 3-D goggles on’
March 19th, 2009 at 11:02 am
I would have listed Troy Aikman as a notable advocate of cuckolding
March 19th, 2009 at 11:07 am
No, Troy is just gay. True Story.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:08 am
While I couldn’t see cuckolding as doing anything but pissing me off (men fantisize about this?), I find the whole lactating thing pretty gross myself.
I vote subjectively for lactation as “nastier”.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:09 am
/fantasize
March 19th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Come on people, let’s have an Iowa St/Hampton style upset here!
March 19th, 2009 at 11:17 am
just to be clear, cuckolding isn’t the same as letting another dude bang your old lady, right?
I would think it involves some degree of humiliation or submission as well, which is where the nasty enters into it, imo.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:18 am
I’m just talking about the votes. They are surprisingly close right now.
What’s gross about getting a little milk in your mouth? Bring some cookies to the party and you’ve pretty much got a perfect date.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Cuckolding:fetishes::Carmella:Jeff Garcia
Beard city.
This should not be close.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Am I the only one left who likes to keep my female companions to myself and doesn’t like having things inserted into his anus?
What’s going on here?
March 19th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Isn’t Pedro Guerrero a noted advocate of cuckolding as well? Or is his IQ too low to be a credible spokesman?
March 19th, 2009 at 11:23 am
oh, yeah, that is a surprise
wtf?
i mean, i was given the impression that you’re doing the woman a favor by helping her get the milk out. boobies get sore
well, i suppose you’re doing her a favor with the other thing, too…
March 19th, 2009 at 11:24 am
(was referring to the votes)
March 19th, 2009 at 11:25 am
@ hercules – I too have seen a mom pumping a kid way too old for titty milk. I say if the kid can stand up and reach the titty of the woman who is also standing then it’s a sign to say that maybe, just maybe, there is an alternative ou there aside from sucking on a milk bag.
/it was nightmare fuel
March 19th, 2009 at 11:28 am
That dude’s got a huge bone.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:28 am
gooch, in case there was any confusion I also don’t like things up my butt. However, unlike many men I can say that with the certainty that can come only from experience.
as for sharing a woman with other dudes: I don’t like that either. but I guess I could in the right relationship.
but no way in hell I want to treat my woman like a whore, treat another man like a mule, and engage in self-humiliation all at the same time.
plus what 85 said. if you gay, just be gay. damn.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:30 am
herc & dandy- what is that some west coast shit? fuck if you old enough to ask for the tit in complete sentences, you’re cut off, little buddy
those are my tits again, punkelstiltzkin
March 19th, 2009 at 11:33 am
breast milk is awesome, like liquid sugar. Taste some if you ever get the chance. I like mine straight from the tap.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:33 am
What the hell is wrong with people?
March 19th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I’ll be a devil’s advocate. I see cuckolding as simply becoming sexually aroused while watching your woman have sex with another man/football team. It is not unheard of, and on the flip side, is a common revenge fantasy for jilted women. Thus, this common “reverse cuckold” fantasy has gravity to find those who are into that sort of thing.
Anything else is simply adding S&M, bondage, pegging, or casual homosexuality. I don’t find it “nasty” just personally disturbing because a man with that proclivity has some serious self-esteem problems.
Breast milk. Bleh. Maybe because I am not a breast guy. Thinking about it actually makes me physically ill.
Yet, I am surprised how close the voting is.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:37 am
Yeah, the kid was walking around and talking and shit. Horrifying.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:37 am
@ John Whorfin: Nope, saw that shit in the ville, Jacksonville, FL that is. It’s multi-coastal!
@ UU: Yes, it is good. Quite pleasant really. Also, there is nothing like a shorn scrotum. Breathtaking!
March 19th, 2009 at 11:37 am
UU: interesting. in my experience it’s always been kinda watery and salty. at least more so than I expected. guess I need to get out more…
March 19th, 2009 at 11:39 am
nah bro, Jacksonville ain’t part of the East Coast
it’s part of the 19th century
March 19th, 2009 at 11:39 am
When I speak of shorn scrotums I am referring to mine, not the scrotums of other. Just thought a little clarity was needed there.
/try to be funny and come out like a homo….f’n GREAT!
March 19th, 2009 at 11:39 am
In fact the poularity of swinger parties is exactly what cuckolding is all about.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:40 am
WE ARE THE FIRST COAST!!! woo-hoo. GO FUCKING JAGS!! woo-hoo!
/we will be the first team to not even have wide leceivels on the loster EVAR!!!
March 19th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Bubby Brister’s Mop:
Most of the cuckoldry I’ve seen (admittedly, not a lot…well, not a WHOLE lot…lots) includes some sort of racial twist. Usually, as you said, white woman with black man/men and an old or fat or frail white husband. It’s like a weird sort of blatantly racist schadenfreude.
Also, another total mismatch; admittedly though, you wouldn’t know it by the current vote tally.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:42 am
@John, I think a lot depends on diet. other guys that have tried “mother’s milk” have also told me it is sweet as sugar.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:48 am
technically, the cuckold is just any man whose wife fucked another dude. I supposed even if he consents to it. so that don’t have to be nasty
but cuckolding in popular culture has developed into a melange of repressed homosexuality, vaginal abuse, and base sexualization of black men. a lot of people are trading in their humanity and dignity just to feed their sexual confusion.
the other thing is just sucking on a tit. at worst you get squirted in the eye.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:48 am
“/try to be funny and come out like a homo….f’n GREAT!”
i know you’ve been to this site bfore…
March 19th, 2009 at 11:50 am
UU yah sadly I’ve only been able to experience with two different women and both ate lots of junk food, salty food, etc.
the same goes for us, btw. do yourself a favor load up on fresh fruits and berries. see if you don’t get the royal treatment a bit more often
March 19th, 2009 at 11:53 am
TOTAL SIDEBAR: is jacksonville the worst smelling city on earth?
March 19th, 2009 at 11:55 am
As far as the lactation fetish goes, you can’t deny the pure sexual charisma of this.
March 19th, 2009 at 11:58 am
@John, @UU, Are you guys doing it on a bus somewhere?
March 19th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
i usually do look at titties and fantasize about suckling when I’m on a bus
potholes can be your friend
wait, that’s not what you were saying, was it?
March 19th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Don’t knock the lactation thing unless you’ve tried it. If you’re going to play with her boobs anyway, it’s satisfying to actaully get a biological response.
March 19th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Is it wrong that I don’t think either one of those are nasty?
March 19th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
I dunno, I still see lactation as also having a very deep-seated mother-son incestuous tint to it., i.e. “biological response” to feeding an infant. Unless you like being treated like a baby… LOL I judge no one. Live it up.
Regardless, neither can hold up to coprophilia or vore.
March 19th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Grapes of Wrath anyone?
March 19th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
When you’re in a fambly way, it’s really your obligation to help feed the homeless. Rose of Sharon ain’t no hero.
March 19th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
can some of the dads chime in on this? I thought the shit was perfectly normal. chick told me she ‘needed’ somebody to suck her titties. they were ‘full’ and ’sore’.
man, I’m not a doctor, who was I to argue?
March 19th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
@ John Whorfin: Mrs. Bullet had trouble lactating, but I certainly didn’t mind the few times I got a creamy surprise. It was quite sweet.
March 19th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I don’t get cuckolding. Watching another dude nail your chick? Uh..no thanks.
And breastfeeding wins just cause you actually have to go find a lactating woman. You know how difficult it is to get a girl to spray you with breast milk? And authentic Cambodian breast milk at that?!
March 19th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
“…and has come up in Saudi advice columns.”
Other items in Saudi Advice Columns
-Proper Etiquette when Cuckolding your neighbor’s goat
-When buying kidnapped american women off of the smuggling boat, is it acceptable for the boat driver to charge more for the lactating ones?
-ahhh, that’s all I got right now…
March 19th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Isn’t cuckolding basically just a threesome with some BDSM thrown in?
I’ve always found lactation pretty nasty. I’ll happily have a woman cum on me, and I’ve actually had one pee on me in the past, but the breast milk thing is… ew.
March 19th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
How hard was it to find fetish-appropriate pictures?