In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Round One action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.

2. Cuckolding

Literal Meaning: “Cuckolding among female-dominant couples differs from the original definition of cuckolding in that many of these men are willing to be cuckolded by their wives, sometimes as part of the their sexual fantasy and sometimes because they gain genuine sexual arousal through being humiliated by his wife being better sexually fulfilled with a potentially superior male, or by the wife domination of her husband making him give her oral satisfaction after she returns fresh from her lovers side.”

What the Intarwebs Say: “While watching another man have sex with his female partner, a cuck also negotiates a homoerotic encounter in a way that feels less threatening to his heterosexual identity. A cuck with latent bisexual or gay tendencies may be unwilling to have sex with a man, but can concede to watching his woman in the act and vicariously experience it through her. If he decides to perform oral sex on a bull [a cuck], it’s spun as an act meant to please his female partner. The presence of a conduit — the wife or girlfriend — helps to contain his desires within a safer scope of bi-curious sexuality.”

Notable Advocates: Jon Lovitz, Phil Simms, Michael Steele

15. Lactation

Literal Meaning: An adult’s sexual arousal from being breastfed. Depending on the context, the terms adult suckling, adult nursing, and adult breastfeeding can refer to the practice. Practitioners sometimes refer to themselves as being in an adult nursing relationship (ANR).

Wiki says: “In traditional Islamic law, someone who suckles the breast of a woman is that woman’s child, either biologically or through a foster relationship. However, according the Jurist Abu’s-Su`ud (c.1490-1574), this only applies to sucklings under the age of two and a half years. This is a source of some dispute, as a modern Saudi Jurist, in 1983, upheld that if a man suckles from his wife, their marriage is nullified. The query remains a popular one into the 21st century, and has come up in Saudi advice columns.”

Notable Advocates: Thomas Friedman, Matthew Lesko, ?uestlove