Nasty Fetish Tournament Opening Round — Ape Regional 5 vs. 12
In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers of With Leather and Kissing Suzy Kolber to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Round One action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.
5. Autoerotic asphyxiation
Literal Meaning: “Hypoxyphilia is a paraphilia which is a sub-category of sexual masochism. Also known by terms such as asphyxiophilia, autoerotic or sexual asphyxia, this potentially lethal sexual practice refers to sexual arousal that is produced while reducing the oxygen supply to the brain.”
Wiki says: “Colloquially, a person engaging in the activity is sometimes called a gasper.” Therefore, we can say someone who accidentally dies of this become Gasper the Pervert Ghost.
Notable Advocates: Nick Hornby, Jason Mraz, Owen Wilson
12. Robot sex
Literal Meaning: “This is a fantasy that involves the thought of having sex with a robot, having sex dressed as robots, or having sex with a person who is transformed into a robot. I’m sure that there are many geeks out there who fantasize about having sex with a perfect android woman, but this fetish can also involve fantasizing about having sex with a non-humanoid robot. I guess someone who really loves technology or science fiction could be into this.”
Wiki Says: “By its enthusiasts, robot fetishism is more commonly referred to by the initials ASFR. This initialism stems from the now defunct newsgroup alt.sex.fetish.robots. Many devotees of this fetish refer to themselves as technosexual, or as ‘ASFRians’”
Notable Advocates: Gabriel Garcia Bernal, Philip J. Fry, Anthony Gonzalez
Tags: Nasty Fetish Final Four
March 17th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Robot sex FTW. It’s like judge dredd without sandra bullock annoying your ass.
I imagine sex with a robot to be something like this, because my penis IS THAT BIG:
http://blog.sublimedirectory.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/dino-fuck3.jpg
March 17th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I just made out with that Radiatorbot from the Radiator planet.
This is such a ripoff of The Big Lead’s cultural bracket …. oh wait, it doesn’t suck and isn’t about Friday Night Lights, no it isn’t
March 17th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I know what Rick Deckard’s answer is.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
They don’t advertise for killers in the newspaper. That was my profession. Ex-cop. Ex-blade runner. Ex-killer.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
What, no David Hutchence?
/too soon?
March 17th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
This matchup is perfectly seeded.
The only thing we have to fear from robots is the wanton consumption of our prescription medicine. Everyone knows that.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
You’re an incredible robot, A.W.E.S.O.M.-O. I was just wondering…are you, by chance, a pleasure model? Have you been programmed to satisfy the urges of humans? Let me show you what i mean…
March 17th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
I know what Tasha Yar’s answer is.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
All I see when I think autoerotic is that scene in Rising Sun. That chick is so hot, so there’s no way it’s a nasty fetish.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
That’s Michael Hutchence, and it’s never too soon.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Robot sex FTW and the upset…Why you ask? This is why. She might not technically be a robot, but she’s close enough and that’s good enough for me.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I always thought R2D2 was fuckable.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
cmon who didn’t want to bang dot matrix? Just me?
March 17th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
I know this is a 5 vs. 12 matchup, but this feels like one of those boring 7 vs. 8 games pitting the no. 6 Big East team against the champion from some half-assed conference. A meeting between two mediocre squads wherein the winner will surely get bounced in the next round.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
This one is such a slam dunk it’s not even funny. Anybody saying they wouldn’t fuck a robot is flat out lying. Imagine an android that is a perfect replicant of Marissa Miller or Megan Fox and tell me you wouldn’t do it just because it wasn’t technically “alive.” Who cares?
In fact, I predict some day around the year 3294, the human race will face extinction because of the human male’s preference for synthetic fucking partners. Why dump your spunk into a whiny chatty needy money sucking wench with potentially inverted nipples when you can purchase your made to order sex toy for a one time flat fee?
Hell, they make fuck dolls now. The next logical step is to animatronic them like in Disney World. Once again, the Japanese are way ahead of stupid ass Americans in future technology.
Asphyxiation sex is only normal to NFL football players, certain members of the Kennedy clan, and Rick James.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Asphyxiation ftw. Considering that in the next few decades we will all have our very own pleasure-bots — as men and women get further and further away from touching one another — I can’t call it a nasty fetish.
I’m ready for my very own Lucy Liu-bot — with the add-on rack.
Meanwhile taking yourself to the edge of death to get off…yeah, that’s nastier.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
I’m shocked that Robot Sex hasn’t grown legs, i had it penciled in as a 5/12 upset for sure.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
With rare exceptions, the chance for death is much higher with auto erotic asphyxiation. Greater chance for death = nastier fetish. Not that I wouldn’t totally bang the fembots or anything. Or any robot that looked remotely like a woman and had a suitable orifice.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Sean Young was so hot as a robot. Now I’d just like to asphyxiate her
March 17th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
I would totally knock the bottom out of the Terminator series chick robot. WITHOUT A FUCKING DOUBT!
/stocks up on WD40 in case the end is nearer than we think
/hopes fucking doesn’t turn into the seashell shit on Demolitian Man
March 17th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
If technology corporations would just invent a fuckable robot that looks like your typical smoking hot high school cheerleader (complete with uniform), there would be no more wars. Every guy would be too busy fucking his robot all day to worry about fighting some other guy for oil, land, whatever.
As for which of the two is more nasty, is either one really even nasty? I know I’d fuck a hot robot before I’d let some bitch choke me though.
Off-topic : Do any of you tech-savvy commenters out there own a Kindle? I’m going on a long ass business trip this summer where I’ll have little to none internet access, and the thought of hauling 15 books around to pass the time makes me want to non-erotically asphyxiate myself. I’m thinking about buying a Kindle, but I’m curious what people think about them.
Thanks!
March 17th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
I would totally knock the bottom out of the Terminator series chick robot. WITHOUT A FUCKING DOUBT!
dAndy,
No kidding. I love how they just have her randomly walking around in her underwear for no other reason than that they know who their audience is.
It’s not very realistic though. I mean, John Connor is 16 years old in this show. Whenever his mom was out of the house, he’d be fucking the bolts out of that terminator so hard she’d start walking crooked. Then he’d have to take her to the garage to “repair” her.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
I really don’t think the voters over at With Leather understand that they should be voting for the nastiest fetish.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Why can’t it be fucking a robot while that robot chokes you?
That’d be the winner right there.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
@ NMC: She’s a terminator. She can fix herself. EVEN FUCKING BETTER!!!!!
March 17th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
“I’m sure that there are many geeks out there who fantasize about having sex with a perfect android woman, but this fetish can also involve fantasizing about having sex with a non-humanoid robot. I guess someone who really loves technology or science fiction could be into this.”
well when you put it that way, i can think of multiple robots that are a hurtin’ for a squirtin’
i vote A)
March 17th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
+1 Pirate Sloth/ +14,642 if the robot is holding a stuffed animal covered in bugs and giving it an enema when you blow on it’s face.
March 17th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Stacy: “Is that a Cherry?”
Sam Treadwell from Anaheim: “Cherry 2000″
Stacy: “Va VOOM”
March 17th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
She’s a terminator. She can fix herself. EVEN FUCKING BETTER!!!!!
Well yeah, that’s why I put it in quotes. ‘Fixing’ the terminator means anal in the shed while mom is home.
March 17th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Awww, Punch, a Raider fan AND a Trekkie. I think I love you.
March 17th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
What a shocker – robot sex is winning. Who would have guessed the fanboys would go for robot sex. Get out of your basements and interact with some women – or young girls – or dead hookers, whatever.
March 17th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
What a shocker – robot sex is winning. Who would have guessed the fanboys would go for robot sex.
One more time — according to the rules, people are supposed to vote for the one they DO NOT LIKE.
If all the people here like robot sex, then that option should have few votes and the Michael Hutchence Experience should be winning this in a walk. Maybe a stagger, if it’s gasping for air.
The voting in this thing is going to be skewed to hell, as half the people seem to be voting for the fetish they find the most appealing, and the other half (obeying the rules) are voting for the fetish they find the nastiest.
I’m not sure who fucked up here. Probably that pederast Falco.
March 17th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Great. Now we can had “How do I get anal from the toaster?” or “How can I approach the fridge about having a 3some with the microwave?” to the weekly KSK sex mailbag.
with football related questions, of course.
March 17th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
@ NMC: Sorry, I missed that “little” inuendo. The question is where the fuck do you plug her in at?
March 17th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
add, not had
/kicks self
March 17th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
“his fetish can also involve fantasizing about having sex with a non-humanoid robot”
Please tell me you all have seen this before you vote
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/van/876586707.html
March 17th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
“One more time — according to the rules, people are supposed to vote for the one they DO NOT LIKE. ”
@Otto, you are correct. More people need to listen to you, except when it comes to politics.
/I kid
//it’s fun to disagree with people
March 17th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Based on John’s link, I was wondering if anyone knew where I could find a good dinosaur costume.
March 17th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Wait…
I was understanding it had to be the nastier fetish. There was never any indication I couldn’t like it.
And the With Leather people are seriously fucking up.
March 17th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
yeah, still don’t see people voting for the one they think is nastier.
March 17th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
This was a tougher matchup than I’d have thought. I eventually had to give it to AEA based on the potential for death.
March 17th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
@Otto, you are correct. More people need to listen to you, except when it comes to politics.
But I have so much rage to give!
March 17th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
@Otto, and that rage is a wonderful gift.
March 17th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
@ Otto – Thanks for pointing that out – I totally fucked up my previous votes. I blame Obama for the confusion.
March 17th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
can anyone really blame Fry for getting it on with a Lucy Lui bot?
March 17th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
can anyone really blame Fry for getting it on with a Lucy Lui bot?,/i>
DON’T DATE ROBOTS!!
March 17th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
I voted robot sex. First thing that popped into my head was the creepy robots form that shitty movie I Robot, which freaked me out a bit. Or fucking R2-D2.
Now someone brought up the terminator chick………….wish I’d thought of that one first.
March 17th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Just like with the enema thing…I’ve got friends who enjoy a little constriction of the esophagus prior to orgasm.
If she’s not strong enough to close her own windpipe, or maybe just not comfortable choking on her tongue, I’m happy to help.
You can’t tell me I’m nastier than somebody that fucks a glorified vacuum cleaner.
Therefore I vote for robot sex, right Otto?
March 17th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Seven of Nine could totally kick that Terminator bitches ass.
/ends geek fest
//starts catfight
March 17th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
w/e u don’t have to be a trekkie to recognize talent
the borg bitch with the body bracelet had obvious talents
the teen robot chick is young enough to be my daughter and luckily for me the dick knows not to get excited over children
March 17th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
The question is where the fuck do you plug her in at?
Who cares? As long as she’s anatomically correct enough so that you can plug yourself in in her!
Seven of Nine could totally kick that Terminator bitches ass.
Based on what? The fact that she whined for four seasons? Or the fact that she and Janeway supposedly had a bit of a lesbian vibe going in the show, even though nobody ever mentioned it during the series?
March 17th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
One more time — according to the rules, people are supposed to vote for the one they DO NOT LIKE. </i.
Technically, that’s not entirely true. You’re supposed to vote for what you consider the nastier fetish. If that’s the way you swing, then that’s the way you vote.
I think a vote of “Which fetish do you find more fun” would be a better vote, but oh well.
March 17th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
And all you motherfuckers know you’d hit this :
http://warmingglow.uproxx.com/2009/03/japanese-fashion-robot-on-fox-news/#more-794
March 17th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
the teen robot chick is young enough to be my daughter and luckily for me the dick knows not to get excited over children
Er, Summer Glau is 27 years old…
March 17th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Can you guess the name of Billy’s planet? IT WAS EARTH! DON’T DATE ROBOTS!!!
March 17th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
@ Needs More Cheerleaders: Based on the fact that the Borg were the baddest mothafuckas in the galaxy assimilating entire species and planets and the Terminator is just an extrapolation of human technology in a future reality where AI controls this planet.
And the fact that Jeri Ryan is much better qualified to get the pain train than whoever that teenage chick is.
March 17th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
“Er, Summer Glau is 27 years old…”
still glad my dick errs on the side of ‘looks like a teenager: nevermind’
March 17th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
don’t be mad. more for you!
and Charlie Sheen
March 17th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
People who want to have sex with robots freak me out. That has to be a personality disorder..
March 17th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Needs More Cheerleaders: Based on the fact that the Borg were the baddest mothafuckas in the galaxy assimilating entire species and planets and the Terminator is just an extrapolation of human technology in a future reality where AI controls this planet.
One on one, I wouldn’t give much chance to the single borg drone.
As for personal preference, okay. I think Glau > Ryan, but to each his own.
still glad my dick errs on the side of ‘looks like a teenager: nevermind’
Dude… Where’s the adventure? The excitement? Live a little!
What? Oh, hello Mr Hansen.
March 18th, 2009 at 12:15 am
If robots can be entrusted to teach Japanese children, robots can be entrusted to be the best friend I never had for the rest of my life. Let’s stay home tonight and “tweak your code!”
And by “tweak your code,” I mean fuck robot pussy.
March 18th, 2009 at 7:46 am
I don’t care how nice you make it look, robot sex is still nothing more than the fantasy of some lonely geek living in his parent’s basement brought to life. And I want no part of acting that out.
March 18th, 2009 at 9:29 am
that picture with the bag had is just creepy. Robot Sex for the win.