In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers of With Leather and Kissing Suzy Kolber to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Round One action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.
1. Formicophilia
Literal meaning: “This is deriving sexual pleasure from insects crawling on the body, specifically on the genitals. It is more common in developing countries, perhaps because homes are infested with insects. This could lead to an individual’s genitals being exposed to insects (especially if they have outdoor bathrooms, as many developing countries do), and if this happens at a young age when they are sexually developing, they may derive pleasure from it.”
Wiki says: Those who possess this condition have been known to enjoy ants crawling over their genitals and even entering their orifices until sexual arousal and climax is reached.
Notable Advocates: Basil Wrathbone, Ray Lankford, Paul Krugman
16. Klismaphilia
Literal Meaning: “This is deriving sexual pleasure from receiving an enema. It’s not too surprising that people can get aroused from it, especially if they enjoy anal sex. A klismaphile may also enjoy pornographic films that portray someone receiving an enema and deriving sexual pleasure from it.”
Wiki says: The term was coined in 1973 by Dr. Joanne Denko, who is also the inventor of the coffee-flavored enema
Notable Advocates: Anthony (of Opie and Anthony fame), Marc Anthony, Immortal Technique
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Hi there, just stopped by doing some research for my Bathing Ape site. Truly more information that you can imagine on the web. Not quite what i was looking for, but very nice site. Have a nice day.
Anything that Ray Lankford likes, I like.
Klismaphilia ftw. Bugs don’t scare me. Some crazy nurse with a super-sized enema…yeah, that scares me.
Ants? Roaches? Weak. The first thing I thought of when I figured out what the hell that fetish involved was those gigantic-ass centipedes from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I really hate my imagination sometimes
Yeah, it’s possible that I misunderstood the nature of the klismaphiliac.
Maybe I’m a little square but I always think of an enema as a means to a cleaner butthole.
And Gooch, clearly you never been to Africa. They don’t need any fucking enticement.
bathing in a The Shining-style wall of shit has been criminally underrated in this competition.
Andy crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit smelling foulness I can’t even imagine, or maybe I just don’t want too. Five hundred yards… that’s the length of five football fields, just shy of half a mile.
That’s enough for me to pick anything other than the enema bath.
Is jerking off while you’re puking a fetish?
@ WIMAD,
Only if you’re puking to achieve/heighten your excitement. If you’re puking BECAUSE you’re jerking off, I would recommend a doctor’s visit in the very near future.
@ Epp,
Taylor Rain > Alexis Texas.
All these comments are +100. Well done, sirs! Well done!
Those are fair points, and I respect your respective positions on the matter.
However, we’re not talking about a run-of-the-mill ass fucking here, where you might get a streak or two on your penis. We’re talking about a flood of feces. Compacted feces. Feces that has no business ever seeing the light of day.
Also, Whorfin, do things that fly count in formicofilia? How do you get them to crawl on your body?
Ultimately, I agree, formicofilia is less desirable of the two, but I still think that bathing in a The Shining-style wall of shit has been criminally underrated in this competition.
This match up has me confused. Not about the pick, because anybody who is repulsed by a little rubber tubing up the ass followed by the blissful release of nice warm salt water is a stuck up prick…
But the other one. When I read the description, I was immediately disgusted. However, once while fucking outside on a picnic table, a fly kept buzzing around. I found the sensations of his little antenna up and down my back and thighs slightly pleasurable. I hope this doesn’t make me a Formicophiliac. My parents raised me better than that.
If it was just ants, formicofilia would just be a bit weird but no big deal. But the entry specifically says “insects” and insects could include roaches and fuck that. I don’t even want roaches in my house, let alone my orifices. Plus, just as a little reminder, insects like to lay their eggs in warm, dark, moist places.
I’m sorry but have you seen the bugs in ‘developing nations’ ? I mean personally?
Some of those fucking things will stop your heart just flying by. We’re not talking about common garden ants, here.
And they carry all kinds of shit-eaters diseases.
Whereas the other thing is just de rigueur for an ass-fucking. So what if she gets a little aroused by cleaning up. Maybe there’s a sense of anticipation at play… a clean hole is going to get a lot more of a pounding before the Santorum works its way to the surface. From me, anyhow. Once the flotsam shows up I’m pretty much done.
no sign of an upset here.
This was a much more difficult decision than I thought it would be.
On the one hand you have the olfactory repugnance of Klismaphilia. Few things are as disgusting as the smell of feces.
On the other had you have the visual and tactile repugnance of Formicophilia. Few things are as downright creepy as insects crawling all over you.
Both selections have the possibility of leading to a nasty infection, and both involve being coated with something rather unpleasant.
In the end, I went with Formicophilia, simply because I don’t like the idea of anything entering my orifices, especially something that’s alive and can go all Lemiwinks on me if it so chooses, but this was MUCH tougher than a 1-16 matchup aught to be.
I wonder how Peter King would rate Dr. Denko’s coffee-flavored enema. Perhaps he can get the fine folks a The South End Buttery to whip one up for him.
Hi, my name is Slothrop and I am Formicophobic. I will now be spraying my office, home, and boxer drawer with Ortho Home Defense. Thanks for reducing my boner to an inny.
I think I will be passing out in puke on my keyboard once this tournament really gets going.
Man! After staring at that Blink 182 album cover I got so arroused I had to go find an ant farm so I could jack it!
Nice, Otto! I would have to think carnaphilia would get a nod as well. You know when you bang the chick working the tilt-a-whirl at the state fair.
I love how they’re listed as “developing” countries. Ohhh, so that’s what we’re calling rundown shit-holes overrun by poverty, corruption and genocide?
Are we going to get an entry for formicaphilia? You know, people who like doing it on kitchen countertops?
Janine from Pirates…what an amazing movie!
I actually stumbled across some Japanese cartoon of klismaphilia. They coated certian parts of the the girl with honey to lure the insects inside. I remember being both repulsed and intrigued.
Back in the day, a kid in my 7th grade english class once asked our teacher what an enema was. one of the most awkward moments of my life.
Also, I can see how users in my home state are polling!
Is there a Spiderwoman? ‘Cause I could go for that.
So I finally listened to the selection show podcast, is it wrong that I was yelling at my speakers because I was upset at some of the picks?
No? Okay good….
Also, I’m at work. Thank god we don’t track internet history.
The next mode of sportswriting: porn star references supplanting pop culture references. I can’t decide if I’m excited or embarrassed when Simmons name dropped Alexis Texas and I IMMEDIATELY understood. Maybe that’s just my Christian guilt. But goddamn, what an ass.
I can’t wait till these references reach MNF – Tony Kornheiser is my most likely candidate to drop, “Joe Thomas opens holes bigger than Taylor Rain!”
/all you fuckers know that name.
@ Pip: The defense rests.
Ah yes, but who here has seen a lesbian vid of Jenna and Jaime?
/I have
/I just derailed the comments
yah thats def Janine.
/better b4 she got all the Tats
@epp, you are correct sir. It is Janine Lindemulder
@pop
Dude, it’s janine lindemulder
/ashamed I could spell that from memory
*barf*
Not at Jenna. At the fetishes. Weird. Is jerking off while you’re puking a fetish?
…not that I do that or anything.
@dAndy:
Dude, that’s Jenna Jameson! How do you not know that?!?!
That’s Janine Lindemuller.
Ah the nurse from the Blink video. Not that I ever jacked it to that or anything.
/google search Nurse Blink 182 Video
/bathroom door flies open