So… how was everyone’s Saturday? Good, good. Oh hey, Donte Stallworth killed a guy this morning. The ol’ “Bentley versus pedestrian, WHO YA GOT?” And Donte could well be f’d with a capital F: Pro Football Talk says that prosecutors are looking at DUI manslaughter pending blood test results:
Per the source, Stallworth admitted to drinking at least four Patrons and two Margaritas. A separate source called that information “basically right,” but added that Stallworth contends he had his last drink at midnight. The incident occurred after 7:00 a.m. local time.
We’re also told that Stallworth claimed in his statement to police that he saw the man crossing the street from a distance, and flashed the high beams and honked the horn of the Bentley he was driving. Apparently, there’s an issue as to whether Stallworth could have taken evasive action because of a barrier along the median.
We’re told that Stallworth is badly shaken by the news that the pedestrian had died.
Altogether shitty news. KSK sends its condolences to the bereaved family, and we’ll hope that Stallworth wasn’t under the influence.
Oh, and one more thing I’d like to point out to wealthy athletes, ad infinitum: HIRE A FUCKING DRIVER WHEN YOU GO OUT. YOU ARE RICH. YOU CAN AFFORD IT. REALLY.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/belichick-sweats-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/vday-150x150.jpg)
With regards to amazing high end cars, the Europeans retain the crown, thanks to such popular brands as Rolls-Royce, Bentley, Koenigsegg, and Maserati. Take joy in high quality, benefit from life.
HTML FAIL FTW!
Stallworth claimed in his statement to police that he saw the man crossing the street from a distance </i.
Then HIT THE FUCKING BRAKES, you stupid gimp!
I believe that pedestrians are worth 10 pts, while cats are worth 7.
@ MarkM: What the hell does enjoying the freedom of a car have to do with driving drunk?
Hard to believe that bad luck would befall a Cleveland Brown.
Maybe he is still jealous of Randy Moss, and thought, “Hey, if Moss can run a cop over while smoking a blunt and get away with it, I can run over this cuban guy!”
ah damn
Lane Kiffin thought that pedestrian was a Florida recruit. Hey-oh!
+1 Gino
I disagree about the drivers part. Yes if you are drinking you should get a limo, but they should enjoy the freedoms that come with owning and driving a car. We can not protect these players from themselves. I cannot stress that enough. They need to be responsible and they need to learn how to slow down their lives a little on their own, because just like Stallworth, we all understand the tragedies that can occur when you don’t use the brakes !
It’s the big peddle, on the left of the gas. It’s called the FUCKING BRAKE!
Jesus Christ. Poor guy.
Goddammit I still laughed at the photo.
Yes. I loved the original Deathrace 2000. Alligator was a quality choice.
“How many of us have flashed the lights in the process? Fishy.”
Any of the millions who drive where there are deer on the roads?
As far as evasive action goes, maybe he had idiots tailgating him? Stallworth sounds legit here, and this is from a Philly fan who thinks the dude is a nutjob who wants $$$.
bentley has some pretty quality brakes for such a heavy car.
2008 Porsche 911 = 103′ @ 60-0 mph
cubano was Fd either way.
Current and former UT football players love crime in all its incarnations.
Too bad it was a pedestrian and not one of those self-righteous, fake enviornmentalist, irresponsible “share the road” bicyclists. Then I wouldn’t feel sorta-guilty about making a joke. I’d think a lot better of Stallworth, too.
Looked up the stats of a bentley. Stopping distance of 110′ @ 60 mph. That’s not very good at all, but here’s the issue: He had time to flash the lights, but not hit the brakes to get down to a non-fatal speed\. 100% of Americans have hit the brakes to avoid a crash. How many of us have flashed the lights in the process? Fishy.
BTW, I live in Miami Beach and everyone runs down the jaywalkers here. There is no stopping for pedestrians, but people cross against the laws all the time. Most deaths are AVP: Auto Versus Pedestrian. It’s a shame, but use the f’ing crosswalk and lights, people.
This is exactly why you should never wake up before 11 a.m.
-Laddy
It was like he was a Cuban caught in the headlights.
Rather be hit with a cap than a Bentley.
The browns would have taken a huge cap hit if they cut him, that’s my understanding anyways.
That’s some nice reckless driving there Mister S.
@ BaCsonkaDonk
Miami may be South America, but it ain’t the South.
I will not speculate on Stallworth’s sobriety in this incident, but I do believe DDumper was wasted at 9:10 am this morn. An incoherent, angry kind of drunk.
Me? I’m just hungover!
Yes Deathrace 2000=awesome!
“Bentley versus pedestrian, WHO YA GOT?”
Nazi Shark has an unrepeatable joke about the spread.
Can someone translate Davenport Dumper for me? I left my Nutjob-English Dictionary at the office.
Tourist/celeb friendly cops don’t want to mess with the industry by busting drunk drivers.
Apparently Davenport here really hates him some dogs. Vick is a shitty QB, killed a bunch of dogs, AND has nothing to do with this story. I’m sure ESPN, Fox Sports, and Yahoo are looking for new commenters though. Douche.
I hope every dip-shit, fucking cunt wash rag that popped shit about Mike Vick open their fucking mouths about this. You know what “Kill humans, not Dogs”. PETA suck a dick with aids on the tip.
In the midst of such a great tragedy, let us not forget what is really important.
Deathrace 2000 was one of the greatest movies ever made.
Kickass picture, gentlemen
That’s 7 hours of IHOP!
This is the South we’re talking about, so I’d say it’s more likely Waffle House.
A separate source called that information “basically right,” but added that Stallworth contends he had his last drink at midnight. The incident occurred after 7:00 a.m. local time.
That’s 7 hours of IHOP!
i can co-sign what great white hype said about the “miami left.” i moved there from texas and it was the craziest thing i had ever seen. those fuckers wait until the light is red, then proceed to make their left turns. maybe they don’t realize that the drivers license that they got in havana isn’t valid in south florida.
“…he saw the man crossing the street from a distance, and flashed the high beams and honked the horn of the Bentley he was driving.”
Does Bentley make trains?
I lived for a year right near the causeway in d’town miami. i’m not sure if this happened on the causeway or at an intersection on biscayne and the causeway…but people jaywalk on the crosswalk all the time. i’m not sure if this was the case, but i wouldn’t be surprised. who knows.
also…anyone who has been in so fla for a long time (not counting everything youve seen in cocaine cowboys) miami cops are wack and they have their own rules down there. people are allowed to do what they want and the don’t do shit about 1) drunk driving-which everyone does to and from the beach 2) the euro trash that go 110 everywhere and 3) allowing women to drive.
. they should get on top of their shit, try to cut down on dd and how they allow the unwritten rule to allow people to make left turns on red lights 5 seconds after it turns red (no lie this happens all the time, its called the “miami left”). http://www.miamibeach411.com/news/index.php?/news/comments/driving-in-miami/
finally, a lot has to say about what CC said about athletes being bitches and not hiring someone to drive them around.
p.s. ive seen it and squirting is real.
What is it about former University of Tennessee football players and vehicular manslaughter.
Another stupid athlete. When will these clowns ever learn ?? Seriously, it costs me $10 by cab to get to the bar, and another $10 to get home. But at least I know I will be getting there and back in one piece. And more importantly wont be killing someone or getting that costly DWI.
And Donte wont be the last one to put himself in this position. Gurarranteed !!!
Out of my way! I’m a motorist!!
-Mr. Burns
/awful
that picture almost makes up for the lack of marquis cooper/boat jokes
I love it!!!!!!!!
Fuck. NFL players have such bad luck when they’re drinking.
If you’ve got time to honk the horn and flash your lights, you’ve got time to hit the brakes. Who’s this fucker think he is….Leonard Little????
donte is F’D IN THE A regardless of if he was drunk or not. even if he was sober you know the guy’s “familia” is gonna try to break him in the civil suit.
sorry to hear the guy died but thats why they make crosswalks senor.
no estas en havana. (c+ in 10th grade spanish bitches)
VAYA CON DIOS!
@JRD & SafetyDan
Not just honk the horn, but flash his lights. Unless Bentlys are more different than every car I’ve ever driven than I imagine, that is hard to do while also slamming on the brakes, which is what I would have done.
@JRD: I’ve been trying to figure out how a barrier prevents evasive action. Got any ideas? I mean, okay you can’t swerve, so just press the brakes and come to a dead stop. Well I guess he did that anywhere.
“We’re also told that Stallworth claimed in his statement to police that he saw the man crossing the street from a distance, and flashed the high beams and honked the horn of the Bentley he was driving.” So he had time to honk at the guy to get out of the way, but not time to stop?
“I thought Cubans were like pigeons. It’s really his fault for not getting out of my way. He should’ve known that a Bentley always has the right of way.”
True story: yesterday, every fellow Browns fan I talked to wondered aloud “Why the fuck did they not cut Stallworth before they had to pay his sorry ass a $4.75 mill. bonus?!?” This evening I turned on the computer and saw the MSN headline “Football player kills man with vehicle” & I half-jokingly said, “Probably fucking Donte Stallworth”. Welcome to fucking Cleveland… now we’re all just waiting for LeBron’s career ending injury to happen.
Oh yeah… that kinda sucks that dude died.
/pats self on back for being so compassionate
The accident occured at 7:17 AM, I kind of doubt Donte was heading out bright and early for pancakes. Of course I have no proof he was dragging himself (and a body in his front grill) home after a long night of partying either. Be interesting to see what the blood work turns up.
some people will do anything to get out of cleveland.
seriously though that’s sad.