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- THIS COMMERCIAL ROCKS
- J. LO FELL ON HER GIGANTIC ASS
- SNL: JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT & AL GORE
- CATS CHILLIN’ TO THESE WEEKEND LINKS
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TAKE BACK THE SEATS
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THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE JACKASS IN YOUR LIFE
three-time champs in meaningless awards
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March 11th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Is that doo-doo?
March 11th, 2009 at 8:32 pm
From the legendary director of, “FUCK, BRIAN RUSSELL IS A PIECE OF SHIT!”
March 11th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERDS
Starring Wade Phillips as “Giant Squid”
March 11th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
“A Color-Commentator died here tonight…”
March 11th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Let’s see….
Roger Goodell as Ozymandias
Bill Belicheck as Rorschach
Brett Farve as Nite Owl and Aaron Rodgers as Nite Owl II
Gisele Bundchen as Silk Spectre
Eli Manning as Dr. Manhattan
Philip Rivers as the Comedian
March 11th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Glad to see someone though the Gaphic Novel was better. I haven’t been this confused about a movie since…….ever
March 11th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Otto: oh-for-seven. I considered Rog for Ozymandias, but it didn’t quite fit with the theme I chose.
March 11th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
I’m curious to see who best fits the role of the cynical, drunken murderer/rapist?
March 11th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Yeah, I wasn’t really happy with any of those. As long as I’m already batting .000, let’s spin again with a QB-centric crew.
Tom Brady as Ozymandias
the birthmarked Drew Brees as Rorschach
Archie Manning as Nite Owl and Peyton Manning as Nite Owl II
Jessica Simpson as Silk Spectre
Tony Romo as Dr. Manhattan
Kerry Collins as the Comedian
March 11th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Romo as Nite Owl
Pacman as Rorschach
Ocho Cinco as Ozymandias
Peezy as The Comedian
Ben as Dr. Pittsburgh
Jessica as Silk Spectre II
Marmalard as President Laserface
This won’t be the cast, it’s just what I’d like to see. Especially Ochomandias’s explanation of his master plan, Pacschach’s Journal entries, Peezy reacting to getting his face sliced in Vietnam (”Bitch…you done gone cut my face! THAT’S DISRESPECT!”) and Dr. Pittsburgh’s scientific theories about Choco Tacos.
March 11th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Jerry Jones actually kind of looks like Moloch, so he can be in it too…
March 11th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Used the old NFL logo – I’m not buying this garbage!
March 11th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Possible Homosexual. Must investigate further.
March 11th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
“But they tell me ‘Roooger, Roooooger, you got blood on your hands! Well…I also have gold records on my wall.’”
March 11th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
Fuck… I’m actually almost excited by this.
CC, agree the GN was better, but are you going to have the squid, or are you parodying the movie (or “other” of course)
March 11th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
Please tell me some sort of KSK Watchmen parody is in the works! BDD can be nite owl, if he loses weight.
March 11th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Please tell me some sort of KSK Watchmen parody is in the works! BDD can be nite owl, if he loses weight.
Shit, I didn’t even think of that approach.
Drew as Nite Owl
Ufford as Ozymandias
Punte as the Comedian
Maj as Mothman
Ape as Rorschach
Flubby as Dr. Manhattan
Footsteps Falco as Dollar Bill
Flubby as Rorschach
March 11th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Whoops, ignore the second Flubby.
It was hard trying to decide which one member of the gay mafia was the misanthropic psychopath. I considered going with an all-Rorschach lineup, but something about Ape made him the winner. As it were.
March 11th, 2009 at 10:28 pm
Will there be dick jokes? I was told that there would be dick jokes.
March 11th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
I never read much “Watchmen”, but Alan Moore is cool and DC Comics has a WAY better track record in the movies than Marvel. Having said that, I’m eagerly anticipating a Hollywood version of this classic Marvel title:
http://www.spiderfan.org/comics/images/nfl_superpro/001.jpg
I might still have the copy of “Super Pro” #1 I bought as a kid in 1991. If my parents let me into their house again, I could find it and then sell it for almost as much as the cover price. I mean, it says “Collector’s Item!” right there on the cover.
March 11th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Someone’s pickin’ off costumed homos…
March 12th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Using “whatever” in a tag gives the false impression that this post is making fun of Cutlerfucker, and that’s false advertising.
March 12th, 2009 at 12:31 am
I got Kerry Collins as Rorschach.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:02 am
At Gino Tourettsa: Damn right it’s a collector’s item! It’s got Captain America in it, right? Or was it Spider-Man? Ah, fuck, one of those two.
As for the Watchmen tie-in, I’ll go with an all coaches route:
Rorschach — Herm Edwards (”Herm,” indeed, coach. “Herm,” indeed.)
Ozymandias — Belichick (special guest appearance by Big Ben as Bubastis.)
Dr. Manhattan — Whoever’s got a huge schlong and willing to paint it blue. Uh, Mike Tomlin?
Comedian — Bill Parcells (”Jap plays!” That’s stire furry, light?)
Nite Owl II — Tony Dungy
Nite Owl I — Dick Vermeil
Silk Spectre II — Suzy Kolber
Silk Spectre I — Andrea Kramer
March 12th, 2009 at 2:24 am
FUCK, don’t tell me this is the issue where BDD kills flubby for accidentally realizing that Drew seeks to unite deadspin and fanhouse against the ulterior motives of the world wide leader (aka Nixon) against T.O.
wait, this shit’s all fake?
fuuuuuuuuck
March 12th, 2009 at 2:45 am
I don’t get it.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:45 am
Nerds
March 12th, 2009 at 7:16 am
“Coming.” I get it, HARF, HARF.
/dick joke?
March 12th, 2009 at 8:08 am
i’m with piratesloth on this one.
March 12th, 2009 at 8:14 am
Someone killed Ape? NOOO!
March 12th, 2009 at 8:38 am
get a room fan boys.
March 12th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Buckwheat’s been shot…AGAIN?!?!?!