But Seriously… What the Hell Is Denver Doing?
With the continued deterioration of the Jay Cutler situation in Denver, I’m honestly surprised I haven’t seen more of an effort by the Broncos’ front office to make amends with Cutler. I haven’t seen this lit up in klieg lights and broadcast across the Internet yet, so I just wanted to be the first to ask Pat Bowlen and Josh McDaniels…
HOLY SHIT ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED???
As any moron who’s seen a football game knows, the single most important position for a team is quarterback. And at any given time, there are only about 15, maybe 20 people ON THE ENTIRE PLANET who can effectively lead an NFL offense without egregiously fucking up several times a game. Of those, there are perhaps four or five whose skill and decision-making abilities regularly elevate the team to win games it would otherwise lose.
If Cutler isn’t yet at that top tier, he has at least demonstrated the potential to soon get there.
Cutler is only 25. He has started only two full seasons. Last season, as the famed Denver running attack was decimated by injuries, Cutler completed 62.3% of his passes for over 4500 yards (third in the NFL), 25 TDs, and 18 INTs. And for those who might point out that his 86.0 passer rating was only 16th in the NFL, I would counter that (a) Seneca Wallace and Shaun Hill had higher ratings, so (b) passer rating is about as useful as LaDainian in the playoffs.
A better indicator might be this: only Drew Brees had more passing attempts than Cutler’s 616, yet Cutler was sacked only 11 times all season. Kerry Collins, who captained a run-first offense and didn’t even start until Vince Young’s mental collapse, was the only starting quarterback who was sacked fewer times. (Matt Cassel, the guy McDaniels wanted: one point better in passing percentage, and 47 sacks). Perhaps some of that explains why Cutler was the fifth-best quarterback in the league according to Football Outsiders’ DYAR.
My point is, Jesus CHRIST I would LOVE to have this guy taking snaps for my team for the next 7 years. And so would Vikings fans. And Jets fans. And Titans fans. And Raiders fans. And any of the other teams who are living with Trent Edwards. Kyle Orton. Fucking Dan Orlovsky.
This shit blows my mind. Do they not realize how rare and wonderful a real, live, young, GOOD quarterback is? Hell, Ben Roethlisberger’s won two Super Bowls, and Pittsburgh fans are still justifiably terrified when he holds on to the ball for more than three seconds.
And why would the Lions or the Seahawks or anyone else risk drafting Matthew Stafford — a great prospect, but obviously unproven — with their #1 pick when they could trade that pick and some other parts for a rare proven commodity?
/breathes into paper bag
Am I crazy? Is Cutler’s lack of personality THAT big of a deal? Is his diabetes going to go off the charts and end his career? Has he been beating Brandon Marshall’s girlfriend too? What the hell am I missing?
March 11th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
So… am I missing something? Where’s the dick joke?
March 11th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Hell, Ben Roethlisberger’s won two Super Bowls, and Pittsburgh fans are still justifiably terrified when he holds on to the ball for more than three seconds.
That has more to do with the O-line, but okay, sure.
March 11th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Whoa whoa whoa. Somebody just said something positive about the Broncos?? Cutlerfucker even??! Does this mean I can come out of the closet now??
/checks outside for signs of hell freezage, flying pigs
//marry me, CC?
March 11th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
Please add the Dolphins to the list who would rather have The Cutlerfucker than any of their current batch of busts and re-treads.
/needs more dick joke
March 11th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
I thought all the Anal talk was being held until tomorrow.
March 11th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
I think they are trying to give him a a reality check (”no one is bigger than the team!”, and it has gotten out hand pretty quickly.
March 11th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Just another case of Dickhole patriots people screwing everything up.
March 11th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
As I Broncos fan I’m equally puzzled. Do they really think Matt Cassel is better than Jay Cutler? That’s fucking ridiculous.
March 11th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Who has time to get sacked when you’re throwing picks at a near Favreian (sp?) rate and leading your team to one of the worst late season collapses ever?
March 11th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
The heart wants what the heart wants
March 11th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
I’m still trying to understand what CC was saying about Roethlisberger. Was it a knock on Roethlisberger or the O-line? Because I’m with Ape – every time he gets behind that line I keep expecting a Faces of Death type ending.
March 11th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
Am I crazy? Is Cutler’s lack of personality THAT big of a deal? Is his diabetes going to go off the charts and end his career? Has he been beating Brandon Marshall’s girlfriend too? What the hell am I missing?
Have you tried living with an emo? Fucking annoying.
March 11th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
word it on up. and i cant even stand the guy!
March 11th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
My point is, Jesus CHRIST I would LOVE having this guy taking snaps for my team for the next 7 years. And so would Vikings fans.
Damn straight. I’d rather the Vikes have an EFFECTIVE whiney, diabetic bitch of an All-Pro QB than an inept (yet likeable and tough) nothing QB named SageTarv Booty.
March 11th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
Actual analysis on KSK that is actually spot on. WHAT THE HELL IS GOIN’ ON OUT THERE?!?!?
CC, you sir are correct. I hope that Denver really fucks this up and allows Cutler to walk for nothing and are forced to play Chris “spleen leakage” Simms.
March 11th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
“Is his diabetes going to go off the charts and end his career?”
To save his job, McDaniels is counting on it.
March 11th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
I think Denver’s scared of Cutler’s long-term health and durability. Because they’re fucking idiots.
I still think they pulled the plug on Plummer a year too soon, but Cutler is a top ten QB, maybe top five. The problem isn’t Cutler, Denver, you fucking douche team. It’s the fact that the O-Line can’t string together more than 2 good games in a row. It’s the fact that the D can’t hold an opponent under 25 points more than twice a year. It’s the fact that Shanahan’s “genius” running game has tailed off since the last real RB’s left town…Clinton Portis and Terrell Davis were far better than the likes of Tatum Bell and Olandis Gary, of course defenses can key on the QB–the running game is no longer a gimme. Cutler’s only had one year with Royal and doesn’t trust B-Marsh, yet the numbers were still phenomenal considering how bad the rest of Denver’s team was. Cutler honestly had more to do with 75% of Denver’s wins this year than any other person in the organization, and whether it was the diabetes, natural fatigue, or simply the fact that Denver’s doing something wrong with him, his effectiveness tailed off near the end of the year.
THAT’S WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO NOW, DENVER! YOU START STRONG AND FAIL HARD! Shanahan had no imagination on the fly and when the league adjusted to his schemes (week 12 or so) Denver was officially fucked for the rest of the year in every year since Elway retired and even moreso since Gary Kubiak left.
Go ahead. Trade Cutler. Pretty please with sugar on top. As a Raiders fan I’m begging you, take him out of the division and bring in some scrub like Cassel or Derek Anderson who played way over his head for one measly year and will fail in the long term. See what happens, Donkey Dicks.
/rant over, apologies to all
March 11th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
Steve Says:
March 11th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Who has time to get sacked when you’re throwing picks at a near Favreian (sp?) rate and leading your team to one of the worst late season collapses ever?
hmmm yes the junior varsity defense certainly played no part
March 11th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Perfect opportunity for the Titans to step in and get the 1st round QB that they CLEARLY SHOULD HAVE TAKEN IN THE FIRST PLACE!
March 11th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
We also have idiots in this city that would like to see Cutler replaced by none other than Michael Vick.
March 11th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Sheeeit…if I was Maddenizing the Raiders, I’d offer Jamarcus, Huggy Bear, and a fourth-rounder. I’d take Cutlerfucker in a heartbeat provided the Raiders could pick up another receiver (Housh sign yet?)
March 11th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Sigh.
Somewhere in an Idaho handball court, there’s the sound of laughter.
March 11th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Plus, he has a very pure heart. He’s very naive, almost like a child.
March 11th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
But don’t you see – Cutlerfucker can’t leave the AFC West. He’s nothing without Marmalard, the Raiders already have their big contract bust at qb, and the Chefs just got the most average-in-every-way guy in America.
March 11th, 2009 at 6:28 pm
Exactly. I’m as stunned as a smacked ass at Denver’s nonsense at this.
You have a good young QB–giving him up over BS personality conflicts is like a 14-year-old Russian model giving up her virginity for $0.
March 11th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Would anyone actually be surprised if McDaniels fails?
Hasn’t the league figured out yet that anybody could be a successful assistant coach in the New Englan-Belichek system?
Does Belichek purposely build up these assistants to ensure that there will always be at least two teams whose coaches will suck?
March 11th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Thank you CC. This McDaniels cock bite is a fucking moron. Granted Cutler is a giant cunt but he can play football.
March 11th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Because Josh McDaniels was architect of the greatest offense never to make the playoffs and he needs his guy to run it. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
March 11th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
I’d be surprised it McDaniels succeeds. This is just the tip of the iceberg for a 32 yr old coach who’s completely out of his element, afraid of being out from under the wing of Belicheat.
I fucking HATE Denver, but even I’m not so dumb as to think Cassell is better than Cutlerfucker. I’d love for the niners to grab him. Wonder if they’ll trade for Damon Huard…
March 11th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
“But Seriously… What the Hell Is Denver Doing?”
Beats me…
I think.. ugh.. that you better… um… ASK SOMEBODAAAAYYY
March 11th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Here’s the thing on Cutlerfucker. He isn’t the sort of makes-everyone-around him better QB. He’s also NOT A FUCKING LEADER. Don’t underestimate that leadership shit. The QB is like the boss of the offense, he runs shit, the ball is in his hands. Ever had a boss you didn’t like? It fucking sucks working for them.
March 11th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
This all started when the Broncos refused to keep Jeremy Bates on as the offensive coordinator. I don’t know why they are trying to retool the only bright spot from last year. Lets see some attention given to the defense and special teams. Signing a 35 year-old safety isn’t much of a start.
March 11th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Somebody (quite probably lsufreek) needs to take the three-headed ogre-thing from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and stick a Vikings jersey on the thing.
March 11th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Sadly, clicking on the ‘actual analysis!’ tag yielded only one more post
March 11th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Amen to that. Let the Broncos continue their fuck-ups so NYJ can get a shot at him and we won’t have to undergo the pain/embarrassment/etc. of Kellen Clemens as a starting QB.
March 11th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
The Denver Broncos, the Duke basketball team and the Republican Party are all imploding at once. Thanks, Genie!
March 11th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Denver’s Quarterback idolatry is their Achilles heel
March 11th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Sean Hill has a winning record in starts so fuck you
March 11th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
In fairness, Chris Simms and Josh McDaniels DO* have matching ankle tattoos.
*Even if they don’t.
March 11th, 2009 at 7:50 pm
Maybe McDaniels thinks the pool/broken diabetes monitor episode gives Peyton a mental edge over Cutler. Or maybe McDaniels still remembers how stupid Cutler looked while he ate a quesadilla during the draft.
Oh hell, I don’t know. I grew up in Dallas. I haven’t seen a good football decision is since 1993.
March 11th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
hmmm yes the junior varsity defense certainly played no part
JV? That defense was frosh level at best.
And yes, the defense sucked, but is this guy the team leader or not? Does he not deserve some of the blame?
He sucked in home losses against Buffalo, Miami, Jax, and Oakland, and again on the road against lowly KC. Win one of those games and you’re division champs. And that’s with the Hoculi gift and the Saint’s missed FG game.
March 11th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
He does deserve some of the blame, but to point to his 17-20 record as a starter as a big reason he should be traded is dumb since there are so many other factors in that.
March 11th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
amen. why the hell are they messing with the offense when they need to fix the defense. if he didnt have to carry the whole effing team his stats would be a hell of a lot better. even with a bad-mediocre defense, they would have made a nice little playoff run. fuckin mcdaniels
March 11th, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Great analysis(?!?!?!) CC.
Now would probably be a good time for McDaniels to realize that HE’S. NOT. GETTING. CASSEL. And he’s not getting anybody better than Cutler either. Figure out how to put 11 guys on the field who can tackle somebody and you won’t have half the problems that shitbag team has. Yeah, they fell apart to lose the division. Lose it to an 8-8 team. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel to win the AFC West.
FIX YO DEFENSE, FUCKHEAD.
March 11th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
[i]It’s the fact that the O-Line can’t string together more than 2 good games in a row.[/i]
What the fuck?
God, I hate McDaniels. He’s done nothing but screw up the team since he got it. I hate Belichick for sending us shitty coaches. Why couldn’t we have had Spags?
March 11th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
/josh mcdaniels’ superaids is fucking me up
March 11th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Yeah. I don’t understand that Roethlisberger comment either. Pittsburgh fans are terrified because the protection is bad, not because we think Ben will make poor decisions (Yeah, I said it. “Ben”. There, I said it again. Suck it, Simmons.) I think CC was trying to make the point that even successful quarterbacks don’t have job security, in which case uhhhhhh Trent Dilfer or Brad Johnson would work better. It really itsn’t a good point. Successful quarterbacks DO have job security.
March 11th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
I’m a Steeler fan, love Ben to death as my team’s QB, and even I acknowledge he can be quite Favrian when he just chucks it up out there. I completely understand the sentiment.
That said, this is spot on. I’m not going to anoint the Cutlerfucker, nor will I crown his ass, but the Broncos are being idiots here. Cutler and Marshall and Royal were the only reasons that team won more than 4 games.
March 12th, 2009 at 12:01 am
Shaun Hill ftw!
/shit
March 12th, 2009 at 12:03 am
It’s amazing that Denver let Shanahan go to bring in this retard brigade. Yeah, Shanahan was a tyrant and a megalomaniac, but McDaniel is already the biggest fuckup in the league and it hasn’t even taken him a full offseason to claim that title.
March 12th, 2009 at 12:09 am
mcdaniels is a moron. as a dolphin fan id take cutlerfucker in a heartbeat the guy, despite his emo disposition, is an ill qb and if teh broncos dont want him we’ll welcome him with open arms the guys got a cannon and lets not forgte most of denvers losses last year werent b/c pf him it was that sieve they call a defense
March 12th, 2009 at 12:10 am
the* forget* of*/ sorry drunk
March 12th, 2009 at 12:42 am
message to the Broncos (and their fans) from a lifelong Steeler fan:
Look at the laundry list of QBs who stepped under center from the time of Bradshaw’s last stand at Shea Stadium until Ben took the reins from Tommy Maddox, sole XFL MVP. Then look at the talent you have in hand. Might not be Elway. But don’t ride Cutler out on a rail. He did make the Pro Bowl.
March 12th, 2009 at 1:06 am
Let me see here hrm…
34 Year Old Jake Delhomme…25 year old Chubbs Cutler…………yeah NC is going to stand up for the Cutler Plan if we are having a roll call of ‘teams that would dump their QB for TheFucker’
Although after Adam Morrison maybe we would be scared to entrust another Diabetic with such high hopes…..but outside of that CC is right, its absurd this is even discussion. Josh Mcdaniels…..worse at his job than Jay’s Barber?
March 12th, 2009 at 5:50 am
ok
March 12th, 2009 at 7:54 am
maybe Josh Mcdaniels is gay for Matt Cassel; they had something going back in NE, and he cant let it go
March 12th, 2009 at 8:16 am
maybe Josh Mcdaniels is gay for Matt Cassel; they had something going back in NE, and he cant let it go
Oops…forgot to say great post! Looking forward to your next one.
March 12th, 2009 at 8:52 am
McNabb for Jay Cutler, McNabb for Jay Cutler, McNabb for Jay Cutler…oh please let this happen..
/knows it won’t happen
//wishful thinking
///knows Joe Banner is really Satan
////time to masturbate with tears as lubricant
March 12th, 2009 at 9:51 am
McDaniels is to the NFL what Lane Kiffin is to the SEC – on track to be big-busted hires that we will enjoy dishing on for at least another year. Excellent raw material for ongoing blogosphere & media.
By the way, the Nashville Tits will trade Kerry Collins, Vince Young, LenWhale, 2 tickets to the Grand Ole Opry, 1 case of Goo-Goos, ownership in 3 Krystals and 2 Krispy Kreme (to keep the LenWhale happy), a free guided tour of the slave quarters at the Hermitage (Andrew Jackson’s home, not the hotel – too expensive) and a free chicken dinner at the Loveless Cafe for Cutler.
It sure would be nice to have a QB who is 1) not eligible for AARP membership and 2) scored higher than 6 on the Wonderlic. LenWhale is the prize that comes with the Happy Meal.
March 12th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have been screaming that for weeks now. How can you not even try to make him happy? Most QB’s are insufferable douchebags, so what? If they play well that’s all that matters and Cutler is certainly in the top 8, if not higher, in the NFL. I already hate McDaniels and want him to go. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU CONTINUE TO LIE AND SAY THERE WAS NO TRADE ATTEMPT WHEN EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SOURCE CONFIRMS IT?????
March 12th, 2009 at 10:37 am
http://www.milehighreport.com/2009/3/11/794217/jay-cutler-bus-cook-and-th
Read in good health. Then go shoot Bus Cook in the face.
March 12th, 2009 at 11:18 am
“Is his diabetes going to go off the charts and end his career?”
Not if Wilford Brimley has anything to say about it…and if PeyPey would stop throwing his fucking meter in the pool…Dick
March 12th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Slash Says:
March 11th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Plus, he has a very pure heart. He’s very naive, almost like a child.
I think Peter King stole Slash’s account
March 12th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Josh McDaniels whatever you’re doing to piss off Cutler…
… please continue, you’re doing it right.
Zigi, get on the phone, get the plane out there, take Culter to Manny’s, smoke some cubans off the teflon roof (and hopefully burn the damn dome down with the ashes), but GET HIM HERE.
March 12th, 2009 at 11:49 am
As I Broncos fan I’m equally puzzled. Do they really think Matt Cassel is better than Jay Cutler? That’s fucking ridiculous.
Indeed. McDaniels is going to find out pretty fucking quickly that the Sports culture in Denver (where people like players) is very different than in Boston (where people hate the players), and that he’s not Bill Belichek. I can’t believe that Bowlen hired him, to be honest. I give him 2 years before the Denver media and fans are calling for his blood.
March 12th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
As a Raider fan, I should probably feel like porky1 up there, wanting Cutty to be out of the division. But, honestly…Cutler isn’t that good. The funny thing about Cutler is that HE’S NEVER WON ANYTHING EVER. His best ever college season (the one that “qualified him to be a pro) they went 5-6. In the NFL, his career record is 17-20. Also, he can’t manage a game. When the game gets close down the stretch, he chokes. He threw the game away to the Raiders in Denver this past season. So sure, I’d much rather face some less talented hack in Denver than Cutler. But so far, he doesn’t scare me. Once he actually produces, then maybe I’ll consider him to be a legitimate threat.
March 12th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
the Broncos are stupid assholes who will be the latest team to find out that giving the keys to a Patriots assistant coach won’t exactly pay dividends.
March 12th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Hey MackZills, you try playing in the SEC when the other side has Florida or Alabama talent and Cutler’s got Vanderbilt talent. 5-6 is a helluva year in NashVegas.
March 12th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I know Cutler personally. He is a VERY moody person. But he has a hell of an arm….He most likely copped attitude with the new coach (as he does to nearly everyone he knows), the new coach is trying prove himself to teach him a lesson. It’s a huge cock fight. I don’t want to see the Broncos suffer though because of it. Cutler needs to take a deep breath, maybe take a few prozac and realize he just needs to prove McDouche wrong (by staying on the Broncos and WINNING a freaking division)….this is a huge mess. Oy Vey!
March 12th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
his career record is 17-20
for fuck’s sake. . .
March 12th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
All I’m saying is that he’s being blown up to be some wizard QB. The career record thing is a stretch, but it’s part of an argument. Obviously the wins and losses are a team thing, but calling him a potential top 5 QB? That’s even more absurd. Once he proves he can consistently lead a team, maybe even do something after week 17, then we can talk about him around the top.
March 12th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
@ Your Mom “It’s a huge cock fight.”
Do they glow in the dark?
March 12th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
(reads above comments)
(thinks about it for a moment)
Ah, what the hell… why not let this thread degenerate into full-on espn.com douchery….
So who ARE the top 5 QB’s in the league? Not career-wise, but who would you want for your 2009 season… PeyPey, Brady, and Brees are pretty obvious… but who else? McNabb? Rongrastname? God’s QB? Elisha? Marmalard? Palmer?
Ahhh… as a Seahawks fan I’m glad I don’t have to try to insert my guy into the debate like I used to try to do 3 years ago.
(chokes back tears of shame)
March 13th, 2009 at 3:52 am
To see two broncos posts on the front page is mind blowing. Also, Captain Caveman is my new favorite… for what it’s worth.
March 14th, 2009 at 5:13 am
Yeah this guy is a straight up moron. You don’t push away your franchise QB in the first off-season your head coach. Honestly I think this is a joke. Realize that Cutler is somewhat of a baby who guess angry when his blood sugar gets low. I know that sounds bad but it’s true. either way Denver Coaches should be blowing him day and night because without him they have no shot. I haven’t seen a team sling the ball like the way they did with Marshall and him last year in a while. You could almost call Denver a Pass heavy team last year. Either way this new coach should be thrown to the wolves because i am sure he has a thing out for some of his stars already. I think if this continues watch Culter being pushed in a trade for some team to move up!! Just watch. Big Blue is going to trade up as well, in the draft! Just wait and you’ll see if cutler moves Denver picks up Mark Sanchez, who I believe is the untested Champion of this draft. Trial by fire if he goes to Denver!!
March 15th, 2009 at 8:29 am
You think Red Sox fans had it bad? The Curse of the Bambino ain’t got shit on the Curse of the Pornstache. Prepare for a century of shitty football, Broncos fans. Plummer doesn’t take kindly to being scorned like that.