“Also, Can Bounties Be Legal?” The Ravens ask the NFL not to schedule them in any primetime games against the Steelers in Pittsburgh, thus attempting to duck the season kickoff game that everyone expected. BECAUSE THE RAVENS DON’T FEAR NO MAN! WWWOOOOOOOOO!
Tags: FEARSOME RAVENS FANS, xmas ape
March 20th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
“In fact, don’t schedule us at all.”
/emo Ravens
March 20th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
If Ray Lewis goes emo, does he cut himself?
March 20th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
In other NFL News….The Jaguars have requested to only be scheduled against Detroit in Detroit during primetime.
March 20th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I’ve heard there’s also a proposed “Hines Ward Rule” that would make blindside blocks illegal. Unfuckingbelievable.
March 20th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Wow. Fuckin’ tough team.
Can we start a petition to dub them the Baltimore That’s So Ravens?
March 20th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
No mole brindsides? WLYYYYY?!?!
March 20th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
How far are we we from a protection rule that requires linebackers to furnish a pillow with an Andes mint on it before sacking the quarterback? Or tapping on the shoulder and respectfully requesting permission to delay an opposing player from attempting to tackle your ballcarrier?
March 20th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
But how will the entire nation get to see Ray-Ray jump on top of a teammate’s tackle, get off the pile and proceed to dance around like his pubic hair is on fire? Come on, you can’t deprive the casual fan of three hours of that kind of quality entertainment.
/Marlo Stanfield is straight up ashamed.
/Baltimore Bitches is more like it
/Dick joke
March 20th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Can we start a petition to dub them the Baltimore That’s So Ravens?
yes. yes we can.
also, while we’re proposing new rules, i think defenses should have to count seven “mississippis” aloud before blitzing, a-la the backyard games we played with our schoolyard chums.
March 20th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Willis McGahee approves.
March 20th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Can we start a petition to dub them the Baltimore That’s So Ravens?
LenDale White would like to have a word with you.
March 20th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Hey, NFL! Want to continue pussifying your league? I have a modest proposal…
The QB will be a flagged position. That’s right. No tackling, just a flag to yank. And tackling the quartered-back behind the line of scrimmage will be a ten-yard, automatic first-down penalty. And if he runs the ball across scrimmage, he must be given an opportunity to safely slide.
I’m sure this was tossed around and an owners’ meeting at least once. Probably by the Patriots.
March 20th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
Joe Flacco has made a request that all barbers and hairdressers quit asking him if he wants his unibrow trimmed.
March 20th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
“I’ve heard there’s also a proposed “Hines Ward Rule” that would make blindside blocks illegal. Unfuckingbelievable.”
Yes. How DARE they take away the right to ambush defenders IN THE HEAD. (Under the proposed rule, the ONLY type of blindside hit that would be banned, ya neanderthal.)
March 20th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
So… there’s nobody in the league office that’s a LITTLE bit Yinzer? And this getting out to press outlets was an accident, right?
(That’s So Ravens, btw, is the uberballs.)
March 20th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
So… there’s nobody in the league office that’s a LITTLE bit Yinzer? And this getting out to press outlets was an accident, right?
If true, they probably wouldn’t have leaked this to the Baltimore Sun.
March 20th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
The new mascot for the Ravens will be the Yellow-Bellied Chokesucker
March 20th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Because what the NFL needs is more judgement calls by officials that will lead to 15-yard penalties. How about instead of trying to dumb down the game for “player safety”, actually provide medical benefits for the retirees who have sacrificed their well being to play the game?
Football is a physical game played by willing participants. Certainly their safety should be taken into account, but there is a line when the game begins to be eroded by all of the judgement rules being put in place.
March 20th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
That’s my qortaback man.
March 20th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
I heard there was also talk of some “Romo rules”, until it was determined that those two words should never appear in the same sentence.
March 20th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Ray Lewis asks for schedule change. Also wishes to know if killing is okay.
/Dances like an epileptic retard when told there is nothing in the rule book about it.
March 20th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
How about instead of trying to dumb down the game for “player safety”, actually provide medical benefits for the retirees who have sacrificed their well being to play the game?
Hmmm, all out of medical benefits. How about millions upon millions of dollars?
March 20th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
porky1 wins
March 20th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Rex Ryan must’ve taken their balls with him to the Jets.
…meatballs, that is! FAT JOKE!
March 20th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
They probably know that in a primetime game in Pittsburgh the Steelers’ receivers won’t even have to catch the ball to be awarded a touchdown. Just brush it as it is going past you inside the 20 and get a foot down at some point in the next few minutes.
March 20th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Actually, I’m surprised the rest of the world hasn’t petitioned the NFL to schedule EVERY game in Pittsburgh to be played in prime time. It will make it much easier for all of us to avoid looking at the fugly, disgusting Steeler faithful.
March 20th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
that…that doesn’t make sense.
March 20th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
FIX YO LOGIC, J.L.
You too, Tim. Because the referees would be more apt to make a bad call in a game with more exposure? I know the bitchy comment you’re trying to make, but at least do it right.
March 20th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
Wait, so the Ravens know they will play the Shittsburgh Kid Feelers at least twice no matter how the NFL makes the schedule, and they request that one of those two games not be on the first weekend of the season so they can open at home in back-to-back years for the first time in 10 years? I am outraged.
As for a “Dirty Cheap Shot” rule that prevents players from making blindside blocks helmet to helmet, how is that any different from the existing rule that says you can’t lead with your helmet or hit a QB with your helmet? Those are understandably irritating because if the player can see the defender, they can move right? Well you’re talking about a rule to protect people not even looking at you from getting their jaw broken on a meaningless play on the other side of the field just because some grinning idiot wants to hit somebody?
“Awwwww, so sarrry, me shoulda prayed refrense!”
March 21st, 2009 at 12:54 am
ALL THEY ALL DO IS HATE! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!
March 21st, 2009 at 10:39 am
Nice spin, Timmy. How’s about taking the schedule the NFL gives them and having a chance to avenge three losses to a division foe in their opponent’s house on a national stage whilst they’re celebrating a title win? Smacks of cowardice to dodge that. Wouldn’t you rather have the bulk of your road games at the beginning of the year? Hell, the Ravens had the game to decide the division last year in their house in December. Sounds like a preferable situation to me (’cept the whole losing part).
As for the blindside rule, the article states the NFL officials didn’t observe Ward going helmet-to-helmet in the mentioned hits, so he wouldn’t even be breaking the rule he inspired. And if they have to add one to the books (to further soften the game) he mustn’t have been breaking one before, right?
Well you’re talking about a rule to protect people not even looking at you from getting their jaw broken on a meaningless play on the other side of the field just because some grinning idiot wants to hit somebody?
Nice distortion on the Keith Rivers hit. If by “the other side of the field” you mean “about to tackle the ballcarrier before he was blocked,” I guess that holds up. Keep on whinin’, trooper.
March 21st, 2009 at 1:45 pm
All the players should stop taking HGH and steroids and being enormously massive beasts that put tremendous strain upon their joints and ligaments and make them more susceptible to injury, especially when hammered repeatedly by other immense, drug-enhanced gargatuans.
Or, you know, pussify the rules. That’s a lot easier to do!
March 21st, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Profiles in courage. Perhaps the Ravens can meet up with the Bruins and work out their mutual lack of b@lls in the ‘burgh.
March 21st, 2009 at 6:18 pm
Ray Ray is scared of the dark. Ray Ray is scared of the steelers in the dark.
March 21st, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Ape, honestly?
1. “How’s about taking the schedule the NFL gives them” – Well then why does the NFL take scheduling REQUESTS (as the article states)? The Ravens REQUESTED to have the right to open at home, they can avenge whenever they deem fit to do so.
2. “NFL officials didn’t observe Ward going helmet-to-helmet in the mentioned hits” – SRSLY? The list of things that officials “haven’t observed” could crash your servers . . . and that’s counting the offenses against EVERY team in the NFL, not just Baltimore.
March 21st, 2009 at 8:00 pm
1. It’s still a chickenshit REQUEST.
2. Interesting straw man argument. According to the article, the officials watched the videos of said controversial hits and said they didn’t determine Ward led with the helmet. Not sure what that has to do with things officials miss during the course of games. The rest of your response is too muddled to counter.
March 22nd, 2009 at 10:21 pm
honestly Im a ravens fan and he’s right, its a little bit of a pussy request. The Ravens played the Steelers tough all three times last season and I’m sure they will again this season, I’d honestly love to see the Ravens go into Pitt and win on that stage. Talk about an opportunity to start a season out with momentum
March 23rd, 2009 at 2:01 pm
HAHA Bitch ass ravens