Drew’s Penthouse Column Now Online: Earlier this year, I joined Penthouse magazine as a monthly columnist. You can read the first column here, at the shockingly SAFE FOR WORK penthousemagazine.com. No need to buy the magazine, or endure the painfully awkward experience of asking Zulfiqar your cashier to sell you a copy. I’ll post column links every time a new column pops up. Enjoy, my fellow Kit Kat eaters.
Tags: not in the April issue due to a mixup, quick hits, replaces balls deep more or less, still shocked it's SFW
March 6th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Ah fuck, there goes my excuse to buy it.
March 6th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
“shockingly SAFE FOR WORK penthousemagazine.com”
websense begs to differ
March 6th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
So I went and bought a copy at Borders last week. I got a funny look from the guy when I asked if they sold Penthouse, so I told him, “Yeah, I heard your mom’s in it.” KSK has turned me into a monster.
March 6th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
I’m quite sure the URL name will trip up a filter or two.
March 6th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
“shockingly SAFE FOR WORK penthousemagazine.com”
websense begs to differ
x2, thanks. Security will probably pay me a visit today
March 6th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Silly filters, I shall dominate thee!
March 6th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
“Pick Duke to lose in the 2nd round. Why? Because fuck Duke, that’s why.”
Drew, I heart these words. Fuck Duke indeeeeed.
March 6th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
I don’t drink on Tuesdays either. Tuesday is for hash.
March 6th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
“And your arm up a homeless man’s rectum.”
I CAN’T FIND MY KEYS!
March 6th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Wow, it must be nice to have some guy on staff who will illustrate all your columns.
Nice work, BTW
March 6th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Great column, Drew. Not to be needy, but how about a song for the running through of walls? I’d nominate ‘Who Was in My Room Last Night?’ by the Butthole Surfers, but I don’t think it’s quite metallic enough for some people’s tastes. Then again, it’s fucking awesome.
http://tinyurl.com/6l8gbv
March 6th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
@ mamacita,
See, we knew you were a lesbian!
And yes Drew, I’m sure that my work will have no problem whatsoever with me clicking a link that says penthouse…
Looks like I’ll be “reading” that one from home.
March 6th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Last night at Borders, Elk Grove California:
My son: Haha! **hands me Men With Balls**
Me: Yeah, that’s one of the guys from KSK. i’ve been meaning to buy that book. $17.95!?! i’ll wait until it goes on clearance.
(Seriously, Borders’ clearance racks rock)
They were giving you the royal treatment there, Drew. Your book was on one of those end cap displays with such books as What White People Like and The Onion’s World Atlas. Nice.
March 6th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
“Zulfiqar your cashier”
lacist!
March 6th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
commenter draft today?
March 6th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
My cashiers name is Bushra. She giggles when I buy a sexy magazine. I have more fantasies about her than the girls in the mags.
March 6th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
“If you’re like me, you often reserve Tuesday as that one day of the week on which you don’t drink, just so you can fool yourself into thinking you have some semblance of control over your alcoholism.”
How do you know these things about me, you witch?!
March 6th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
The part that you left out of the St. Patrick’s Day plan was allowing the drinking-rookie to tag along, like it’s a gift to him. You might even have to work him up to it all day. Really make him feel like one of the guys, only to get him drunk in the first 1/2 hour and watch him commit inappropriate/borderline illegal acts. Maybe even make it a game, point out targets for him and count how many times you can get him slapped before he throws up on the pool table.
March 6th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Drew i gotta disagree. Girls eat St. Patrick’s day for breakfast. A drinking holiday based around wearing a particular color? Its over.
Other than that though, thanks for recapping every time I go out drinking, with that column…
March 6th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
“If you’re like me, you often reserve Tuesday as that one day of the week on which you don’t drink, just so you can fool yourself into thinking you have some semblance of control over your alcoholism.”
God Save the Functional Alcoholic!
/With football over with, I won’t drink on Monday’s either
March 6th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
shockingly SAFE FOR WORK penthousemagazine.com
/still not trying it…
March 6th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
I understand why you have to provide a link rather than reposting here, but uh, I’m not clicking on that link at this time. Sometimes I worry about the ones I do click on, but they have relatively tame URLs. I have no idea if my employer monitors web use, but… can’t be too safe, I guess, in these hard economic times.
Also, does anyone like Duke? Besides actual students and faculty, that is? Everyone seems to hate Duke.
March 6th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I’m seconding the clamor for a draft. I’ve got a raging hangover from the Bruins game last night (I SAW WAYNE GRETZKY AHHHHHHHHHH!) and I need something escapist and/or rant-inducing to pass the afternoon.
March 6th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
fmra has spoken. the commenter draft was the only reason I came to work today, that and believe it or not to actually get some work done.
March 6th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Does you column mention the Watchmen? Cuz that would be cool. Watchmen opens today by the way. Is Ape gonna write a column about Watchmen? What about Ufford? KSK needs more Watchmen. How about a commenter Watchmen draft? Watchmen is cool. Drew did you see the Watchmen movie yet? Boy that Watchmen movie looks rad balls.
Watchmen.
March 6th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
I guess this is as sexy as sexy Friday gets this week.
/t-minus 3 hrs 10 mins til beer numero uno gets popped open. dAndy gon drank, oh he gon drank!
March 6th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
@FMRA..did the GHB I gave you wear off yet? You can keep the anal beads.
March 6th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
@ FMRA – So you and CVE went to the Bruins game?
March 6th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Damnit CVE. You just horse fucked my comment. You can’t be sneaking shit in like that dude!
March 6th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
@dAndy..that’s what FMRA said last night…hiiiiiiiyooooooo!!
March 6th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
It looks like Penthouse has good illustrators. I haven’t looked at a Penthouse or Playboy in years. Back before free internet porn a girlie mag was a hot commodity among the lads. The internet dropped the bottom out of that segment of the kids’ black market.
March 6th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Draft and SF are coming.
March 6th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
If there is a commenter draft today I hope it is porn related in keeping with the theme of yesterdays mail bag and Drew’s Penthouse article.
March 6th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
What you thinking UU? Porn star you would do if you could, create/name a porno you could star in and direct?
I’ll take Jenna Haze and dAndy does Denver.
/doink
March 6th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
Yeah, it was fun reading that and NOT clicking on any of the links on the page. “This Month’s Pet”? “Pet of the Day”? Why no, those topics interest me not at all!
March 6th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Some people just drink like that on St. Patrick’s Day???? Pussies!
March 6th, 2009 at 11:31 pm
1) You “filter” phobes: have your mail order Russian Bride cut-and-paste into an email for you after she finishes her 3rd pack of morning smokes.
2) My porn name based on the formula would be Pepe Cleveland.
March 6th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
The above comment is what happens when you read a comment, leave the site and look at 30 other sites, and return to KSK to finish your thought…
March 7th, 2009 at 12:20 am
Rum, Sodemy, and the Lash: best. Pogue’s. album. ever.
March 10th, 2009 at 6:45 am
Rum, Sodemy, and the Lash: best. Pogue’s. album. ever.
Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!
March 15th, 2009 at 12:15 am
I was wondering what sites are best to find good lesbian kissing videos?