Eldorado out in Dallas. After lots of talk the Cowboys have finally released Terrell Owens. That thing you smell is Dan Snyder, who voided his bowels in all the excitement. Poor Sarge, he’ll be cleaning that up all morning. Needless to say, the watch is on. Update: Thank God.
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What the hell is this picture? Did you crop out the part where Brady Quinn is grabbing ankles off stage right?
@ DeepFriar
Stephen A. Smith’s man-cruch on TO still won’t get 81 an NBA tryout
Put T.O. and Marmalard together and watch Norv’s head implode
1) Owner that likes the spotlight (Jerry Jones/Alexander Spanos)
2) Coach who isn’t considered a hardass (Hardasses: Parcells, Belichick, Coughlin. Non-hardasses: Phillips, Norv Turner)
3) Good quarterback (Romo/Rivers)
4) Team that is pretty good, but could still explode if someone blew up in the locker room (Cowboys/Chargers)
Yeah, Owens would feel at home in San Diego.
You guys want entertainment? Put T.O. and Marmalard together and watch Norv’s head implode.
The Redskins don’t want Owens?
I refuse to live in a world where Dan Synder acts in the best long-term interests of his own team.
/kills self
//actually, failed at suicide just like T.O., so still alive
I did actually make the comment earlier in the week I wanted to give away T.O. for my birthday (which was yesterday…so go figure).
It was a necessary move and I respect them for finally doing something right and in the more than just short term interest of the entire organization. I don’t care what his stats are compared to the rest of our wideouts, that wasn’t us in Tampa Bay last month.
The Cowboys are also blaming Owens for their loss in Super Bowl X. He should have broken up that pass to Lynn Swann.
“You can’t spell cuntfaced vaginal secretion without T.O.”
Wow, that is some top grade funny. Outstanding work.
I demand that TO and Michael Vick be signed by the same team. I want my entertainment, dammit!
@FMRA: OK, you’ve convinced me not to kill myself. Cue the Daily Affirmation With Stuart Smalley segment…
I do think that MBIII and a healthy Felix Jones can lighten the load for Romo so the team doesn’t have to depend on him to make plays all the time. If teams have to stack the box for the run then he can toss the ball to Witten and the receivers without feeling much pressure.
@UU: They should start packaging it as a breakfast cereal and call it Fiber One. No way it doesn’t become a top seller.
@ Westbrook is my Anti-Drug: You’re not crazy. You are a fucking lunatic.
Stephen A. needs some Cheesy Poofs. He’s spitting mad in this interview. Jesus, somehow Owens gets himself booted off three teams because he’s a colossal asshole and somehow it’s everybody else’s fault every time. Brush your teeth, Stephen A. Your breath smells like T.O.’s balls.
There are 2 coaches out there I’d love to see matched up with TO – Todd Haley and Mike Singeltary. Please, please please.
Holy shit Trent Dilfer is an ESPN analyst now
bertnasty Says:
March 5th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Does this help or hurt TO’s reality show?
I foresee Drew telling a distraught TO that he’ll need a montage
C’mon Snyder, you know you want to. Pull the trigger, bitch.
Does anyone know where TO is selling his “iCUT” t-shirts? Anyone?
Actually whoever signs TO will probably be getting a good thing. Looks at the history:
Year 1 with new team: Keeps his head down, puts down good to excellent numbers.
Year 2: puts up great numbers if heallthy but tiny bits of crazy start to sneak out
Year 3: Calls your QB gay, tries to kill himself, etc
At this point in his career, no one sane will give him more than a 2 yr deal.
TO with WELKAH and MAWSS would be FACKIN SICK.
NO ONE DENIES THIS.
Wow, I haven’t seen a player this talented not wanted by this many fanbases since Barry Bonds went last year without a contract. I might be crazy, but fuck me if I wouldn’t be excited to see TO in midnight green again. Anything to keep the offense moving so that McNabb will have an opportunity to vomit in the Super Bowl again.
I’m thinking he should go to Detroit – “eccentric”* player goes to the worst team in the league. It would be like a crappy football movie come to life.
And I’m kinda happy to read that it will cost the Cowboys $9 million to get rid of him. True, that’s probably just Jerry’s annual lapdance budget, but still, real money.
* fucking crazy
Anybody else think it’s hilarious that the Cowboys dropped TO and held onto Roy E Williams like he’s the answer? Roy Williams is like TO lite minus the talent. They’ll probably drop Williams next year and pick up Plax off waivers.
@J4B, I also hear asbestos is a great source of fiber.
fmra…’T.O.slowly suffocating’…’nuf said. I vote yes.
At least this weeks episode of Wade and Jerry should be fun.
/gon drank in anticipation
j4b, since your suicide would sadden me greatly, I’ll remind you that you still have MBIII, who is more god-like than God himself… think happy rushing touchdown thoughts…
chiefbastardsauce, I almost said Minnesota. Something about T.O. slowly suffocating in the black hole of quarterbacking (Orton apologists, you can just shut up right now) that is the NFC North really tickles my funnybone.
I don’t know why, but my gut tells me Detroit. Stafford is doomed I tell ya, DOOOMED!
/I wouldn’t mind TO coming to Jax…..At least shit would be entertaining.
Roy Williams and Patrick Crayton at the #1 and #2 receiver spots? Can someone commit suicide with a shotgun? No way this ends well, unless Witten somehow catches 100 passes this season. I hear breathing in asbestos is good for you…
FUCKING HELL…
Once again this has Oakland Raiders written all over it.
Oh lord, he’s perfect for Snyder. A former superstar on the decline and a loud mouth. Owens vs Hall would be amazing.
let’s go Buffalo?
I think I heard somewhere that T.O is a “distraction in the locker room.”
I want him in Minnesota. I want to watch TO and Childress kill each other on live TV, thus providing both the most exciting thing ever to happen on TV and a solution to the Vikings most obvious problem.
The RoughRiders need a receiver.
/They employ the forward pass in Canada, right?
TO: “One more step, and the nixxer gonna get it.”
PD: “I think he’s serious.”
TO: “Baby, you soooooooooo good, and they soooooooo stupid.”
Stephen A Smith, as an excessively loud black man people are tired of listening to, sympathizes with Owens’ situation.
Terrell Owens on the Packers would be the funniest fucking thing ever.
Since nobody else is going to say it….
My favorite team just lost its best receiver. Terrell, we knew ye, we knew ye well. Hope you land somewhere warm.
/weeps
Stephen A. Smith is quite possibly the worst reporter in all of sports. Even more-so than PK. I spent 7 years seeing this guy here in Philly and at one time, I threw a remote at the TV. It wasn’t my TV but still, the guy has more racist undertones in all he says than a klan meeting. Fuck him. Soon, he will be calling out Jerry Jones for being racist. Just watch. He defines the word cunt. Fucking assgoblin.
Which will come first:
a) TO is up for a vote into the HoF
b) TO is in a police stand off in the middle of an intersection holding a knife to his own throat and threatening to kill himself if they come any closer
I vote b.
BECAUSE HIS PUBLIC DEMANDS IT
Can someone explain why Stephen A. Smith has a published reaction to the T.O. release?
(In my best cartman voice)
Yessssss! YESSSSSSS!!!
You can’t spell cuntfaced vaginal secretion without T.O.
Terrell Owens could not possibly garner interest from a serious contender. Unless the Giants want to replace Plaxico with another form of crazy.
For the record, I don’t actually think Snyder will pursue TO.
Does this help or hurt TO’s reality show?
I guess T.O. no longer has 25 million reasons to be alive.
Jesus Christ here we go
Looks like it’ll be Count Al and the Raiders vs. Dan Snyder and the Redskins. The questions is: which team has the best combination of cash, evil and douche to win the Terrell Owens sweepstakes?