The Miracle Of NFL Net: Last night, I watched part of the NFL classic game on NFL Network. It was the 1992 game between the Packers and Bengals (or as the Net dubbed, Favre’s First Comeback). The announcers were Jim Lampley and Ahmad Rashad. And I shit you not, within ten minutes of watching, I heard Ahmad Rashad call Favre “a gunslinger”. Congratulations, gunslinger cliche! You’re old enough to see R-rated movies now. Jesus.
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Cinemax: Friday After Dark. Yes!
Otto, et al: Don’t forget the scrambled Playboy channel. That was an extremely desperate option for teenage masturbators, especially for those of us who didn’t get the premium channels.
Shannon Tweed. My penis remembers her fondly.
Man, how did teenagers just discovering their blossoming sexuality survive in the pre-interweb age?
Late night HBO and Cinemax.
So I’m told.
“And was that the Shannon Tweed era? Or was that the late 80s?”
Yep. The early 90′s were indeed the prime years of the Shannon Dynasty as my penis fondly remembers it. Shannon Tweed and Shannon Whirry had a softcore t&a fest on Skinemax pretty much every night. Good times.
And then if you were truly desperate, there was USA Up All Night. They showed dirty raunchy movies with “adult content warning” labels although those were slightly frustrating because they’d stop just short of showing the goods.
Man, how did teenagers just discovering their blossoming sexuality survive in the pre-interweb age?
Tiffany-Amber Theissen should have been on ESPN back then. Everytime I think about her on SBTB, Screach pops up to soften the wood.
Early 90s was dominated by 4-hour porns you could buy at shady liquor stores who cared not for IDs that featured Chasey Lain, Debi Diamond, Asia Carrera, and MiMi Miyagi.
Early 90s, wasn’t that when Rebecca deMornay was doing some very naughty movies? She singlehandedly got more of my cum to fling around than Brittfar got from Peter King.
And was that the Shannon Tweed era? Or was that the late 80s?
(If I’m wrong, don’t kill me. We’re talking like 15 fucking years ago.)
Old enough to get eaten by a shark.
…I gotta go check out my Cindy Crawford and Kathy Ireland pics…
The early ’90s- what a time to be a alive. That was back before free, instant internet porn set the world free. If you were a sexually-frustrated teenage boy back then, the SI Swimsuit Issues (and the calendars, too) were a huge deal. Cindy, Kathy, Naomi, Vendela, Angie, Stephanie, Ashley, et al were fantastic imaginary girlfriends with whom I’m still friendly.
The stuff the sexually-frustrated highschool boys can get now on the internet makes our early ’90s SI Swimsuit Issues look about as scandalous as French postcards.
Mark Schlereth on NFL Live when asked what item of Farve’s he’d like to own: “I want his tractor. He must have a tractor, right” I hate both of these sperm dumpsters
If we are going Spank bank of the 90′s..I gotta go check out my Cindy Crawford and Kathy Ireland pics..if they’re not still stuck together..
Basic Instinct..well done. By the way, Willow Bay looks goddamn AWFUL now..46 and used up..not the ending I was hoping for.
Willow Bay, Summer Sanders, Hannah Storm… it’s like discovering long-forgotten accounts in your Spank Bank that have gained big from the interest. While I’m on a Pussy of the Early Nineties kick, I think I’ll go watch a few select clips from “Basic Instinct”.
Heh! I was just watching the 1996 NFC Championship game on NFL Replay the other day when Favre screwed the pooch with a game ending interception against Dallas. That was much more fun!
@C.V.E. – I knew you weren’t knocking Willow, just being protective of my one time flame (even if it was only in my warped imagination). Seriously, she is on lifetime now. Hmmmm…. wonder if the wife will be home tonight?
Fuckin’ Disney CEO. What’s that cuntnugget (Todd Haley’d) have that I don’t? I mean, besides am unlimited amount of cash and a high profile job. Fuck him.
/shakes head
/another dream dead
/opens bottle of Maker’s
How long before Ahmad called him Land Baron?
Christ..Willow Bay is hosting specials on Lifetime now and married to Disney’s CEO..how tragic is that.
@JDLAR..hey man, I’m not knockin Willow..I just wish I was. I was disappointed when she was replaced by Summer Sanders.
Hannah Storm couldn’t carry Willow Bay’s lingerie. However, if she wanted to take it off Willow and do dirty, dirty things to her, I wouldn’t turn away.
The media may call him a gunslinger, but I know him very well, and to me he will always be a cumslinger, slinging cum right in my mouth.
in other words dipshit!
Leave me alone guys, I’m just having fun out there.
“Old enough to watch R rated movies.”
Or another words, WAY too old for Mark Chmura.
Willow Bay. Nice. I’d forgotten about her. When’s she going to have her Hannah Storm Comeback?
Listen C.V.’s Eyebrows, you can bang on Ahmad Jordan and Farvaro all you want but leave Willow Bay out of this. She was once a proud (or maybe not so proud) member in good standing of my spank bank. Yeah, you’re right, I didn’t get out much and you did what you had to before Al Gore invented the fancy interwebs we all use now for masturbation material. Just the same, I may knock one out later to Willow just for old times sake.
/wonders whatever happened to my girl Willow
/show self out
Uh, never mind, looks like they changed it to Packers-Bengals.
@ Sean “I was on ESPN” Salisbury: I don’t see anything in the original post about it being the game Favre came in for an injured Majkowski, which was against the Bengals.
And shouldn’t this have the FUCK YOU BRETT FAVRE tag?
Am I the only one who gets excited when he sees “NFL Replay” showing on NFL Network, and then is inevitably disappointed about what game is showing?
Every damn time.
I think the game was Packers-Bengals.
Do your fucking homework, you pathetic bitches.
I saw Favre’s first game with the Packers on NFLN recently, the game where he came in to replace an injured Don Majkowski (Football’s Wally Pip)… and in that game, they called Favre a gunslinger when first describing him on his first drive.
Am I the only one who gets excited when he sees “NFL Replay” showing on NFL Network, and then is inevitably disappointed about what game is showing?
In those same ten minutes Jim Lampley roughed up three women in his hotel room.
Oh yeah- a former Viking coining an ass-kissing cliché for a Packer? Weak. Also, before Clare Huxtable married Ahmad, she was married to one of the Village People.
Those were benighted days when we drank coffee-flavored water and washed our hair with Marriott shampoo and thought we were happy. Of course we know better now, or do we?
I didn’t know Ahmad Rashad’s ass-kissing was so versatile. In ’92 his nose was so far up Michael Jordan’s ass that it seemed he couldn’t possibly over-praise another athlete, but it turns out he had a little Favre on the side.
But were there sounds of knobs being slurped?
Old enough to watch R rated movies… old enough to crash a car.
So, the cliche is seventeen now, huh?
According to court documents, I can’t comment on this until next year.
Yup…
http://www.majiknetwork.net/
Damn, the jerseys are sold out.
@ UU..it was “Majik Man”. I think he still has a website and all. I wanted that damn jersey for some unknown reason.
*Don
aka “the Magic Man”
/dating self with USFL and Dom Majkowski knowledge
Bring back Don Majkowski! He was the real super star.
I don’t understand the hatred for Vince Workman… I mean, anything that kept Brent Fullwood off the field was good for the Packers… oh, right. Vikings fan.
Ah yes, back to the days of NBA Inside Stuff with Ahmad and Willow Bay…
What if Favre had played for the USFL San Antonio Gunslingers?
/head explodes