WHAT THE FACK??!!!!
Well, well, well! Looks like you Yankee faggots ahhh about to get yar due! Far the legendary SAWX NATION FAITHFUL AHHH PREPAY-UHED FAR OW-UH MOST HISTARIC SEASON YET!!!
Wait.
What’s this?
WHAT THE FACK?!!!
Rawbart Kraft, how could you let this happen? You can’t trade Vrabel! HE WAS THE WELKAH OF THE DEFENSE! They-ah is no truah Pat than Mike Vrabel! He embawdied the kind of hahhhd-warkin’ ethic that people here-ah can relate to!
(buys scratch ticket)
THIS IS FACKED! Farst, Ted Jawnson pussies out awn us, and now this!
Well, whatevah! You know what? Let him go. LET HIM! You really think he’s going to be any good without THE FACKIN BASTON CROWD ROOTIN’ FAR HIM?! WE MADE HIM! NO ONE DENIES THIS! This is yet anothah brilliant move by Billy B, pawning off an oldah playah to Scawt Pioli. Pioli, YOU JUST GAWT BELICHECKED! HA HA HA HA HA!
(does lat pulls in jeans and no shirt)
But that doesn’t stop the hurt I feel. If you ahhhn’t from hee-yah, you can’t pawssibly undahstand what it was like to root far MIKE FACKING VRABEL! We bled with him! We went to wahhhh with him! We know him and he knew us! When he caused that pick against that faggot Kurt Warnah in the Supah Bowl, WE KNEW THAT PLAY WAS COMING! WE COULD TASTE IT! IT’S ALMOST AS IF WE WILLED HIM TO CREATE THAT PICK! NO OTHAH FANBASE HAS EVAH HAD THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH A PLAYAH!
(buys Kodiak at Cumberland Farms)
But now I think he SACKS! FACK YOU, VRABEL! WE’LL GET FASTAH WITH SOME DAHHHKIE!
(takes off hat, fiddles with brim, puts hat back on backwards)
HEY VRABEL, MAKE ME A MAHHHTINI!
NOTE: More Pat fan anguish to wallow in here. HT to reader Stephen H.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, Tommy from Quinzee
February 27th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
As much as I was hoping for Tommy to weigh in on this move, Vrabel didn’t have an INT in SB 36. He was however the person that put the pressure on Warner, causing him to throw the pick 6 to Ty Law.
/NO ONE DENIES THIS!
February 27th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Ok, this is bothering me: Ty Law returned the INT in the Rams SB for a TD. Vrabel caused it with the pass rush. Is this an honest mistake on the part of Drew, or is the point that Tommy has no idea what he is talking about?
/Shows himself out
February 27th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
I’m probably not the first to suggest this but it’s time for a Tawmy t-shirt. I’m thinking the standard Tawmy picture on the front with a “NO ONE DENIES THIS!” caption underneath and maybe a (twirls lacrosse stick) on the back for good measure. Get on this Gay Mafia, the GREAT FANS OF SAWX NATION demand it!
February 27th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Whoops, missed previous post. Sorry.
February 27th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
He is one of 17 players to catch two or more touchdown passes in Super Bowls.
/NO ONE DENIES RANDOM STATISTICS
February 27th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Fixed the pick gaffe
February 27th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
And to add to Tommy’s misery the Celtics signed Marbury today.
February 27th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
PIOLI, YOU JUST GAWT BONGED!
February 27th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
(does lat pulls in jeans, work boots and no shirt)
/fixed
February 27th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
Are you insinuating that there’s something wrong with doing lat pulls in jeans and no short?
February 27th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
This is the worst thing to happen to a Patriots player ever. Darryl Stingley? Who?
/typical Pats fan today.
February 27th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Frankly, this is fantastic news and is just making a great day even better. Thank you, Faggot Yakuza!
February 27th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
End of an error!
February 27th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Only two words will make sense of this: Tony Gonzalez
How’s a wetback going to be able to translate this to Masshole?
February 27th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
NO FACKIN MENTION OF THE PATS GETTING THE GREATEST JAGUYAR TO EVAH PLAYUH THE FACKING GAME.
/good luck Freddy T!
February 27th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
HE WAS THE WELKAH OF THE DEFENSE
/comedy genius
February 27th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Pioli, yoah ah suckah!!!!! Vrabul, yoah dead to me!
February 27th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
But what does House O think? I need closure on this anecdote.
February 27th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Oh, and hello Julius Peppahs!
February 27th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Could he be traded back as part of a Cassel trade? If they don’t have anything fully put together right now, the Pats could use this little bit of cap space gained to sign someone like Bodden. KC could even take on some extra cap by guaranteeing salary which would drop his cap hit in a trade back. You know … just a thought.
So they are trading Vrabel to KC in order to trade back for him for the cap relief? And KC is okay with that?
Awful.
February 27th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
I’ve been getting a kick out of the people around here all day, fired up about Mike leaving. He’s 34. It’s cool.
Also, Peppers, and not Brian.
February 27th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
I second HouseO! I would buy that shirt just to drive all the Pats fans I know nuts.
February 27th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Vrabel was traded to KC. KC releases Tony Gonzalez as Vrabel can take over as starting TE. Of course, the Pats will sign Tony Gonzalez to the vet minimum and he’ll finally get a super bowl ring that guarantees his 1st ballot HOF status. During KC’s training camp scrimmage, Vrabel will blow out Bernard Pollard’s left knee with obviously dirty chop block. KC will release Vrabel in disgust. Of course, the Pats will sign Mike Vrabel to the vet minimum and give him another ring that guarantees his 1st ballot Patriots HOF status.
You know … just a thought.
February 27th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
I can’t wait for Freddy T to have a 800-950 yard season with a half dozen touchdowns and Bill Simmons writes a 10,000 word article about how under appreciated he has been his whole career and what a great teammate he is now. Just like he did with KG.
/bitter Wolves AND Jaguars fan.
//I’m also a Mariners fans.
///I did a lot of moving when I was younger.
February 27th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
As a Pats/Sawx fan (tucks sweatpants into untied Timberlands), I will purchase a Tawmy shirt, as it is the greatest parody (packs Kodiac dip) in the history of comedy. NO ONE DENIES THIS!!
February 27th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Vrabel to the Chiefs? Vrery interesting.
February 27th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Breaking news: Pats fans are retarded assholes.
February 27th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I second HouseO’s suggestion for a t-shirt. Pic of Tawwmy with NO ONE DENIES THIS as a caption would be fucking awesome.
February 27th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I too would wear a Tawmy shirt with pride, vim and vigor. A Marmalard t-shirt with the teeth eyes would be quite the boon as well.
February 27th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Off topic:
When Jerrah Jones passes away, Eagles fans will come piss on his grave.
When Dan Snyder dies, Redskins fans will come piss on his grave.
/maybe Jerrah gets a post-mortem blasting into space?
February 27th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
/raises hand for a Tawmy shirt.
February 27th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Tawmy must be Sexy Friday for the women.
Enjoy Ladies…….
February 27th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Breaking News: Pats just sign Starbury to a lucrative 17 million, 3 year deal as Vrabel’s replacement. Pats nation breathes a sigh of relief now that the Pats have another player with a few minor “personal issues” that Belichick can whip into shape. Cue the duckboats.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
I’m a Yankee’s fan booo! hissssss!) and as much as I like to ridicule Sawx fans, Yankees fans aren’t much better. I just joined a Yankees fans Fantasy Baseball league and someone drafted Jeter in the first round, Mike Mussina in the 13th round (even though he’s fucking retired!?!?), and Posada in the 16th round with Chris Iannetta still available.
Put it to you this way: I got Sizemore and Braun in the first and second rounds. Yeah, I’m pretty much going to roll this league. too bad it’s not a money league. However, if you’re looking to make some cash then I recommend joining a Yanks or Sawx money league.
February 27th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
@SKC:
I’m a Yankee’s fan booo(b)!
/fixed
February 27th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
I, too, would like a Marmalard or a WHAT THE FACK??!!! shirt.
February 28th, 2009 at 2:51 am
@ Dan — i’ve given up on that issue
February 28th, 2009 at 3:27 am
Hi Drew,
If the “well,well, well” was done in respect towards “Clockwork Orange” then I heighten my respect. If it was not intentional…well,dammit I like you anyway!
Care for a bit of the Moloko Plus?
February 28th, 2009 at 3:37 am
@kariha
I have a non-descript white Chevy van. I also have no traceable fingerprints or DNA. Would you like a drink from my VIP bottle service? Perhaps my attorney, Lazslo, can show you to your beautiful, sleeping arrangements and we can get busy with the sexy time? Yes?
I like this option.
My brother Larionov and I are always looking for many mammaritical memories in which to enchant ourselves with. Do you wish to comply?
February 28th, 2009 at 3:45 am
fucking bots.
/oh yeah,very high!
February 28th, 2009 at 7:27 am
We get a Tawmmy post over Vrabel leaving, but no Emo Eagles post over Dawk leaving the roost? GET ON THE BALL, SLACKERS!
PS, I’ll even give you your opening line: “Dawkins leaving? This must be penance for us winning the World Series. O cruel fortune!”
February 28th, 2009 at 9:32 am
I just tried to recite the above post in as close as I can get to Tommy’s voice, and now my jaw fucking hurts. Talking Bostonian hurts.
February 28th, 2009 at 11:46 am
another tired, lazy cliche from this site? I don’t believe it
my question is where did “no one denies this” come from? maybe knowing its origin might make it humorous
February 28th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
@drthunder: The most likely origin, although I can neither confirm nor deny this, is from Bill Simmons aka The Sports Guy. Who if I recall correctly is a Boston sports fan who uses that phrase quite often.
This message will explode in 5 seconds.
February 28th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
@ drthunder
It comes from Simmons. Now please, kill yourself.
February 28th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
You know what I was just thinking… I really hope somebody who reads KSK knows the guy in the picture and told him he’s a douche on the internets. That would be golden. Even better if he really did act like Tawmmy.
February 28th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
So, the Chiefs are also getting Cassel. What are Tommy’s thoughts?
February 28th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
“So, the Chiefs are also getting Cassel. What are Tommy’s thoughts?”
ITS ALL PART OF A SECRET PLAN BY BELICHICK TO GET A NEW WES WELKAH OF THE DEFENSE WHICH WILL ONLY BE AVAILABLE ON THE 34TH PICK!!1
February 28th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Matty Caaassel SUx Cahck
February 28th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
“Good Luck Matt. I wish you the best, but the O-Line of KC is going to get you killed. No Moss, No Welker, No dice my friend. At least you may have Vrabel at the goal line a couple of times by CrazyWally.”
March 1st, 2009 at 11:42 pm
As someone who grew up in MAHHARBLEHEAD, attended college in boston, and taught English at North Quincy High, all I got to say is well done, and um, FAHHHHK YOU YOU DAHHHHARKIE LAVIN FAGGAT