This is a friendly reminder that we’ll be live-blogging the Gay Super Bowl this Sunday starting at 7:30 p.m. Eastern. As with most years, I meant to get out and watch as many of the nominees as possible, but ended up only seeing maybe half of the big-name movies, because really, who gives a shit? Do I really need to watch Kate Winslet and Leonado DiCaprio fight and be miserable for two hours just so I can have an opinion at an Oscars party? Nope.
That said, here are some half-assed opinions about the few films/performances I did manage to see. Feel free to disagree, as it doesn’t particularly matter to me.
Slumdog Millionaire — The overriding feeling I had watching this movie was “Wow, I NEVER want to go to India. EVER.” Everyone seemed to either absolutely love it or absolutely hate it. I’d give it a B/B+. I liked the “Millionaire” conceit of telling the story, but the “Ooohh, it’s our destiny” justification for the ending was a cop-out that marginalized the lead female character.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona — What a piece of shit. I might have been able to at least enjoy the scenery if Woody Allen could have stopped with the insulting narration in every scene. “That night, Vicky and Cristina went to dinner…” (cut to Vicky and Cristina eating dinner) “…where they drank wine and talked.” (cut to them drinking wine and talking) Jesus Christ! I HAVE EYES, ASSHOLE! Penelope Cruz arrived way too late to save this turd.
The Wrestler — Loved it, and not just because of Marisa Tomei’s hard naked body. The fact that it didn’t get nominated for Best Picture is horseshit.
Gran Torino – I don’t think this got nominated, but I saw it the other night, and I have never laughed so hard or so many times during a drama. An entire movie where Clint Eastwood calls everyone a pussy and goes around dropping every racial slur imaginable? That’s quality entertainment, people.
Didn’t see: Milk, Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Revolutionary Road
More Oscar sexiness after the jump.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/horizontal-shower-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/belichick-sweats-150x150.jpg)
“Mr. Captain Caveman, sir, did you have to put that Helen Mirren picture in there. I had a good boner working until I clicked on that and saw her 150 year old face.”
LMAO: It’s a miracle folks – a BLIND man is surfing blogs!!!
I’m 32 and I would take the classy, gorgeous and every-sexy Helen Mirren over any of the other chicks posted (even Salma Hayek who is hotter than the sun).
GT made me remember why I dated Asians in high school…and still drink PBR.
@JP:
So a shoe-in for Best Picture, you’re saying?
Benjamin Button was horrible: condescendingly straightforward plot/symbolism, with only one theme they bang you over the head with over and over and over again. Pretty people, shitty film.
@porky1: Jamal Anderson would like to do the dirty bird with your friend Alex.
I’m another one who thinks “Slumdog Millionaire” is hugely overrated.
“Benjamin Button”–a prettier “Forrest Gump.”
“Frost/Nixon”–Frank Langella rules in this. And yes, he made Anthony Hopkins look like an amateur.
“The Wrestler”–this should have totally gotten a Best Picture nod. Mickey Rourke is fucking phenomenal in this. If someone other than him or Langella gets Best Actor the entire Academy needs to die.
“The Reader”–depressing as hell, even with naked Kate Winslet (who’ll get Best Actress).
in completely unrelated news…..ass. ass! ass? assassassassass. http://www.nearlygood.com/video/worldsbestass2008.html
Think the last movie I saw was Cloverfield…
I can understand swearing off movies after watching the Blair Monster Project.
Just saw Slumdog last night, pretty good, with a great framing device for the story. For all you compulsive gambler types, it’s my Lock of the Week for best adapted screenplay.
Frost/Nixon was great. Sheen was phenomenal, but Langella nailed Nixon. When you make Anthony Hopkins’ take on something look shitty and amateurish, you stuck the landing for sure.
Penelope’s hot, but she was hotter before the plastic surgery. She has a sister, Monica, who is almost a carbon copy, and supposedly she’s got a cousin named Mari Flor who’s a high-priced hooker in Madrid.
Here’s a video with Penelope and Monica lezzing off. The song is by their jackass brother Eduardo who’s trying to join the family business.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WSH_3SHn6Q
I haven’t seen a single one of these movies mentioned in this thread :P
Think the last movie I saw was Cloverfield…
@Rikadyn — Bet you liked Milk better, right?
@Slash — A-fucking-men.
Frost/Nixon was pretty good. Everybody goes on about how great Langella is in it (and he is good), but I think Michael Sheen fucking owned it.
If you feel like your life is going badly, watch Slumdog Millionaire. You’ll never be so glad to live in America. It’s a good movie, but damn, parts of it are pretty damn depressing.
Haven’t seen any of the others. I think Eastwood should get a special Oscar for growling “Get off my lawn” while staring down the barrel of a shotgun. I laugh my ass off every time I see that in the commercial for that movie.
Salma Hayek not hot? WTF? Normally, I’d say to each his own, but I’m pretty sure Salma Hayek is the exception to that.
Benjamin Button, yeah saw that when it was called Forrest Gump:
http://www.break.com/usercontent/2009/1/The-Curious-Case-of-Forrest-Gump-649781.html
Only time I ever thought Salma was hot was in Dusk till Dawn and Dogma, otherwise she’s meh…
what are the nominees for best tyler perry movie?
that motherfucker makes me wanna gouge out my own gall bladder with nothing but a shoehorn and a rusty menorah.
I would much rather bang Helen Mirren than Penelope Cruz. Penelope Cruz looks like my friend Alex with a wig on.
Plus, Helen Mirren has actually been in movies that I have legitimately enjoyed watching. Penelope? I think I managed to get through Vanilla Sky without checking the other channels.
When Penelope and Salma are photographed together and the kiss-ass press fawn over Penelope like she’s on Salma’s level I actually become slightly angry. It’s like comparing Brian Russell to Ronnie Lott. There, I said it.
forced
/punches cock harder
Look, I know the Academy is made up of a bunch of fucktards that wouldn’t know a good movie if they were forded to watch it Clockwork Orange style (Crash anyone?). But the fact that The Dark Knight was not nominated for Best Picture makes me want to drive through Hollywood with an AR15 and just start mowing down every self-important “industry type” I see.
/thought this was AICN
//punches self in cock
///spends Friday night alone
Armageddon II: Even Armageddon-ier
You mean The Core?
LaFavre: Helen Mirren is one of Punte’s favorites
Peoples,
Am I the only one having trouble connecting to the site recently? Most day I just get a “Sorry, we can’t find what you’re looking for” message instead of any data. Other times it’s a simple 404.
Tried with both FF and IE. Anyone else suffering difficulties? Otherwise I’m going to go felch my internet provider with a fucking walrus.
Langella should win Best Actor. Frost/Nixon was a movie where people talked at each other for two hours and would have been nigh unwatchable without a commanding lead performance. Milk was good, but not worthy of Best Picture. Button was some mawkish horseshit.
Best Picture nominees should have been The Wrestler, Dark Knight, Wall*E, Milk and Doubt.
America needs Mickey Rourke to win an Oscar this year, not only because he deserves for his performance, but it will also legitimize every steaming pile of crap he’ll star in from here on out.
/hey, somebody needs to star in Armageddon II: Even Armageddon-ier
“Milk” was pretty good, but I don’t know why Sean Penn had to faggy up his character so much. Kind of distracting.
I’ve heard you needn’t bother with Benjamin Button but that it will probably win best pic.
I’m going to try and see Frost/Nixon but could give a fuck about Revolutionary road.
For me this year, which was pretty weak, it was all about Dark knight, Wall-E, Milk, and the wrestler. hathaway was pretty good in that one wedding movie too.
I thought I knew everything about racial and cultural insensitivity. I even thought Zipperhead was just an awesome store in south Philly, referenced in that Dead Milkmen song. Boy, was I wrong.
Benjamin Button was pretty great. best thing I saw this year, but I haven’t seen the Wrestler yet.
/sappy, sappy man
“But you’re coughing up blood…”
“I ain’t got time to bleed ya zipperhead…now fetch me another cold one.”
Or something like that.
So many unnecessary racial slurs, so little time.
/never watch GT after Taken. Makes GT seem weak
Didn’t see: Milk, Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Revolutionary Road
Maybe someday those movies will be shown in New York
CC I thought you got rather upset over racist comments on WL the other day; what gives?
How sad is it that I’m almost anxious for the Gay Super Bowl blogkakke? What’s that? Very sad? Yeah, I thought so.
The best thing about Gran Torino was watching Clint pound about 60 PBR’s.
I tried to keep up.. but that’s one tough old bastard.
Mr. Captain Caveman, sir, did you have to put that Helen Mirren picture in there. I had a good boner working until I clicked on that and saw her 150 year old face. Yeah Yeah, she’s a good lookin’ older gal. But c’mon, it’s sexy Friday! Not seniors Friday. SALMA!
Salma is dead to me since she got married. What does that guy have that I don’t?
Oh, 9 billion dollars and no restraining orders.
did someone say rape?
http://failblog.org/2009/02/19/stats-fail/
You can tell it’s a Woody Allen film because the young ingenues are hooking up in a darkroom. No doubt they later ran into a 20-year old couple who love Cole Porter.
Salma Hayek should have atleast one picture every week on sexy friday.
Damn sorry. But it was that fucking good.
Its a crime that Eastwood didn’t get a best song nomination for his crooning over the end credits of GT. Perfect ending to 2 hours of awesome comedy.
Its a crime that Eastwood didn’t get a best song nomination for his crooning over the end credits of GT.
Soo…..
What did everyone think of “Strange Wilderness”?
Gran Torino. He could have drug a woman into a barn and raped her. But yes, it was still good.
hmmm, lily thai
RE: Gran Torino
Was Peter King there?
gran torino was awesome but tge supporting actors sucked. the little kid should have been played by mcluvin in yellow face and his sister by lily thai
plane crash. A plan crash is an entirely different thing, and I don’t think Paterson went to see the remains of Wall St. when the plans crashed there.
I think CC just shared a bit too much.
I too consider myself a sick soul. Following last week’s plan crash, our blind governor Paterson went to “see” the damage.
Jesus, I laughed. I hated myself a bit, but I laughed.
/gestures to an entire room filled with Hmong Chinese
“What’re all you fish heads lookin’ at?”
you’re a sick fucker CC.
“I wasn’t trying to save anyone, I was just trying to get a bunch of jabbering gooks off my lawn.”