Comments on: KSK Off-Topic: 50 Film Noir Detective Names

By: Yeah, right?

Yeah, right? — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 05:23:10 +0000

The night was hotter than a strippers G-string. The bulls were out in force looking for the tabloid-named “Erection Killer”. I opened my creaky office door looking only for some sympathy from my close friend, Jim Beam. The enlightening of the room held a different subject. Her name was Blanche.
Blanche Vulva.
I’ve been around a lot of dames. Seen my share of gazongas. Never did see no queen in her damn undies, though. But this broad, she had it all. Would embarrass an hourglass with that figure. Stems like the Venus Demilo and a pair of tomatoes that could suckle the baby Jesus.

“How you doing, Dick”. Her voice was silken gold as she breathed a plume of Lucky Strike through her nostrils. “Still keeping yourself ‘up’ at night, I see”. She purred. Her motor ran like a 1945 Duesenberg.

It was right about then that I realized I wasn’t going to be knocking back a few belts of the Beam and forgetting the strains of the day. Nope. When Blanche was visiting, rest was the last thing in the world you could look forward to.

Outside the rain had turned in to a biblical downpour.

I unsheathed my Rosco, took off my tie, poured myself a glass and after a long moments hesitation, turned around said, “Hey Doll. How the hell are you?”

By: yeah, right?

yeah, right? — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:20:02 +0000

Dick Bonesteele. Private dick

By: CooperIsSuper

CooperIsSuper — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:04:30 +0000

Dr. Moshe Nathan Abraham, DDS aka “The Heeb” (”Let me get a crack at his yapper” and “I’m the real gum-shoe”)

/ no, that’s just racist
// wait judaism is a religion
// anti-dentitie

By: Kimbo Gash

Kimbo Gash — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 22:55:45 +0000

J. J. “Dip” de Dog

By: Fletch F Fletch

Fletch F Fletch — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 22:43:27 +0000

Chase Utley in “Who Stole Second?”

By: Nimby

Nimby — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 22:37:34 +0000

Rock Scotch – the pickled dick

By: Raoul Duke

Raoul Duke — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 22:29:05 +0000

I actually have a disturbingly true story about a man named Charles Bump. I have a friend who is a judge in Pennsylvania. When asked what the weirdest case he ever tried was, he told the twisted tale of Mr. Bump. He was 70 (ish) and living in a retirement home. The same retirement home where his 90-something year old mother (afflicted with Alzheimer’s) lived. One day he was caught having sexual intercourse with mother. That’s right: A 70 year old man was fucking his 90 year old mother. I actually can’t recall what the outcome of the case was, but let me just repeat that Nightmare Fuel: 70 YEAR OLD MAN FUCKING HIS MOTHER.

By: Charlie Villanuevas Eyebrows

Charlie Villanuevas Eyebrows — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:38:29 +0000

Ford Fairlain. Hands down.

By: Shaved Yak

Shaved Yak — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:18:42 +0000

Clementine “Boobie” Zippertrout

By: Navin R. Johnson

Navin R. Johnson — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 19:45:43 +0000

M. Emmet Walsh: You’re going to have to sign for this.