Just to let you know that far from overconfident during Super Bowl week, I was my usual superstitious ball of anxiety leading up to the game. In fact, so superstitious was I that I had prepared a post for each outcome (didn’t get around to doing a terrorist attack one though). I figure it’ll offer some small solace to those rooting against Pittsburgh. Actually, fuck them, I took the time to put the post together, so I might as well use it.
This is all YOUR fault!”
Apparently you do need an offensive line at some point. WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME!?
So who wants a dead cat?
Fucking fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Looks like its suicide again for me. I hope you all die from the sheer force of Leitch’s aw-shucks gloating. At least we didn’t lose to the fucknuts Ravens.
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Jeez j4b, you’ve sure turned into a catty little bitch since the Steelers surpassed the Cowboys on the Super Bowl title count.
Even though it’s the first time in two years I’m not training for a marathon, I still run five miles a day, six days a week. But, then, I’ve been writing a book from home the last few months so I’ve been more sedentary than usual otherwise, so I might have put on a few. Still, I’m 6′ 1″ 195 lbs. I know, it’s a wonder I fit through the doors.
“If you lose, you gotta take it out on the pussy!”
Not sure you got it right, Ape.
Congrats on the win, though.
/Owns cat
Jeez Tunison, you’ve gotten fat since last year. Put down the Ho-Hos and whole milk and take a walk everyday. Oh and that cat sure would be tasty with a nice Chianti
I really want a car battery right now.
I really want some cheese now.
You have to keep it all in perspective.
Ape certainly qualifies as the best-dressed Steelers fan I know, and unlike most Pittsburghians, does not appear to subsist on a diet of Iron City and Jo Jo’s special omelettes. His apartment is far less gay than the totally gay ones that abound in the visor-wearing Blackberry-obsessed gaytown of D.C., and his cat is at least not the girliest breed (it would be more justifiable if it was an outdoor cat, or possibly a Mountain Lion). And despite living alone and working from home, he appears in his video to own furniture, to have walls that are not bare, and to be fully clothed. He is not sitting in his underwear on the couch watching porn while eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery, which is what I daresay most of us would do in that situation.
In other words, it’s all relative.
Your mom has a nice basement.
C’mon guys, why doncha like me? My mom says I’m the coolest guy on the Internet!
nice art.
@FWJRB: Yep. Fatheads. Fat necks. Fat stomachs and asses. Fat chicks. Pittsburgh’s got more than you’d want.
Ah yes…the target market for Fatheads. Steelers fans.
I agree with Sancho, once pictures of ape appeared and some of his background came out his stuff is not as enjoyable
Who’s your interior decorator? Stevie Wonder? Brady Quinn?
Nice pussy.
Someone had their period on your wall.
@ e: Ape has a cat because his only girlfriend ever from the 9th grade just all of a sudden up and left him without warning leaving the cat behind. Ape felt he had no choice but to take the cat under his wings and nourish and care for it until the end of time. At first the relationship was a struggle with all the responsibility thrown Ape’s way in caring for a pet. Ape’s relationship with Jean Gray has grown since then being that the cat is the lone survivor of the 1st and last time in Ape’s life when he actually touched a girl’s pussy.
/Ape is hoping one day she will return to see how well he took care of the cat and give him his friendship bracelet back
/and maybe make the move to 3rd base
Them Goddamn referees! They gave the Cards that win with that totally imaginary hold in the end- zone and that bobbled “touchdown”!
This game is rigged!! The Cardinals obviously have the refs in their pocket!
/meh
@Rob: Ape is also entitled to a +1 for the combination of all of those, which is a Arrested Development gag.
Unfortunately, in respect to the “Fuck Pittsburgh” Clause of internet point awarding, Ape receives no points, and may God have mercy on his soul.
To T.H.I.M.P: Hines Wald say: “Hines take cat and wirr make grolious feast!”
@bigdaddyperrotta:
Thanks for giving us a bad name, chief! Good of you to prove all the Steelers haters right.
+1 for the charlie brown sadness,+1 for the “just in case” preparations,-2 for owning a cat…..i call it even
I don’t know if I’m more impressed or worried that you’re wearing two different jerseys in this post.
What a shock, that fat fuck Tunison is a cat person. The guy has to get pussy somewhere I guess.
Steeler-haters like myself are blue, and not only in color.
/I blue myself
you have the dumbest haircut.
You got it all wrong…you punch the cat and shake the baby.
ape from one steeler fan to another, congratulations.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/video/video.php?v=530600819759
hahahahahahha this is great. what a great great world we live in. yes yes yes fuck all you cock sucking homos who cry and cry like little whiny bitches go eat a fat fucking dick you envious fucking dirt bags. STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELERRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSS
If there’s any justice in this world Ape will die of toxoplasmosis and his cat will
feast on his bloated corpse for months.
Who left the cap off Ape’s f*cking Glisten?!
How much you want for the artwork?
Are the flowers on the dining table black and yellow?
No…but they might be soon.
Ape… you get a +1 from me for the cat, a +1 for the dejected walk, and a +1 for the sad Charlie Brown music.
Bra.Fucking.Vo.
/slow clap, non sarcastic variety
Are the flowers on the dining table black and yellow? That’s… commitment.
e tu Jean Grey
I don’t want to live in a universe where this scenario could come true. Also, all the haters … seriously, you need professional psychological counseling. With 2:37 to go in the 4th quarter, I “knew” it was all over. It never crossed my mind to spill such irrational bile against the Cardinals or their quite decent fans at the game. Some of you guys are just scary. Honestly, knowing that some of you are walking around in the world with normal, descent people scares the hell out me.
The irony, of course, is that this scenario, had it gone down, would have been due not to the universally-ridiculed OL but the vaunted D that pissed away a 13 point lead.
Why do you own a cat? Seriously…Dude?
why do i get the feeling Tomlin ends every sentence with, “or i’ll chop off your balls”.
Fuck you.
And just remember kids, it’s not a FatHead, it’s a stencil.
Michael Tunison is indignant, and his cat is GUILTY!
He would have been delicious, that’s for certain.
What if Mike Tomlin was eaten by wolves?
I liked you better when I knew less about you.
Ooh, I’ll take a dead cat! Honey, we eat tonight!
George Michael!