Kill Kill Kill: Hanna Storm Bats Off ESPN Executive
Noted cougar Hanna Storm doesn’t appreciate the overtures from her network superiors and has decided to take forceful action to block their unwanted advances. So in the end the bear gets punked as if he were a Georgetown student.
Because we haven’t gotten around to doing much animal carnage thus far this off-season (rape jokes consume so much of our time) a few more lie in wait after the jump.
At last, a victory for the Lions. Naturally, it would come against Andy Reid.
This one really gets the nod for the Star Trek background fight music. Though the pacing does resemble what a Derek Anderson-Drew Bledsoe sparring match would be like.
Tags: kill kill kill, xmas ape
February 18th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Anyone else fantasize that the hippo was Rosie O’Donnell?
February 18th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
I may in the minority but I don’t really perfer looking at animal’s killing on a football website. I have other sites for that. I come to you for cheerleader pics and other NSFW eye candy. You’ve been slacking, so get rid of the Kill Kill Kill and bring on the Porn Porn Porn tags. Gracias
February 18th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
@PETA
and those sites would be…??
/waiting with notepad
February 18th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
The soundtrack for the tortoise really added to the battle – that and pulling their heads in and smashing shells.
I can see some bar action here, replacing the midget toss.
February 18th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
The tortoises need to stop fighting each other and Ninja kick the damn rabbit
February 18th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
I don’t think the tortoises are “fighting.” I think it’s more of that unwanted sexual advances (see how this all ties together).
February 18th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
It didn’t seem like that network exec was even trying to devour Hannah Storm’s child.
Poor effort.
February 18th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Usually, I watch Bears vs. Cubs not Bears vs. Cougars.
February 18th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
I want to know what happened to the poor turtle the other two kept climbing over. Brady Quinn?
February 18th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
That Hippo got raped!
February 18th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Eh. Let me know when you get the video for “Hanna Storm Beats Off ESPN Executive”
February 18th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
@ UU: I can’t see the vids here at work, but the fact that you said fantasize and Rosie O’Donnell in the same sentence has me more than a little concerned.
/maybe the tard version she played in that one movie???
February 18th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
That tortoise fight is the cutest thing I’ve seen all week.
February 18th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Anybody notice in the Clearasil ad over there that it not only makes the zit start to disappear in as little as 4 hours, but it also moves the zit around on your face? I wonder if they have different formulas for different zit direction.
“Damnit, I needed the kind that moved this zit down and to the left!”
February 18th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Is it really appropriate to have an “Adopt a Pet” ad campaign at the bottom of videos with animals mauling each other?
February 18th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
@310– I love the ads on here. Mine are usually for the Lifetime network. Well done, marketing algorithms. Well done.
February 18th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
The bear was smart- he turned down the easy cougar meat and went home. I’m sure he thanked himself later.
February 18th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
gg Adblock
February 18th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
I dunno about you guys, but I wanna know more about the dark different destiny of those hippo-raping lions, and why it merits its own tragic orchestral soundtrack.
February 18th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Can you really blame those ESPN Executives though? Hannah is one fine piece of ass. Plus she can pull off the tight sweaters and open blouses without looking skanky like Erin Andrews. If it weren’t for fiery redhead Rachel Nichols, I’d be totally behind Storm in the Playboy Sexiest Sportscaster polls.
February 18th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
We cougars have to stick together. There’s nothing worse than coming home to find your young’uns threatened by their hairy backed uncles. I, for one, don’t want my grandkids to look like Matt Light crossed with Big Foot. And yes, Big Foot is my uncle on my baby daddy’s momma’s stepdad’s brother’s side. It gets confusing in Appalachia. Don’t judge! We have enough to worry about here with Ben and Brady so close by.
February 18th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
There was also a Bear vs Lion Video but nobody could watch for more than 30 seconds without falling asleep and the only interesting part was the bear and the lion talking more than fighting.
February 18th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Actually the most hair raising attack video I’ve seen was back in the early ’90’s when Leslie Visser caught Bob Knight walking off court after beating, I believe, Temple. Leslie asked Bob how they did it and Bob started to give a smartassed answer about scoring more points and Leslie Shusshhhed him in mid-sentence. Bob Knight was speechless and I peeeeed myself from the sheer courage that Leslie demonstrated. Now that was an awesome cougar attack!!!
February 18th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
Shouldn’t PETA be staging a sit-in against those lions, who clearly have no regard for animal life beyond their own. If only the lions knew that vegetables are a good source of nutrients, and that hippos can feel pain too!
February 18th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Thanks for the animal death porn! Much enjoyed the Lions v. Andy Reid remark!
By golly, if I can’t watch males of the human species running around in orchestrated battle to the finish against each other on an open field, the next best thing is watching our country cousins do it.
Do old XFL videos count as KILL KILL KILL?
March 11th, 2009 at 12:05 am
Mad late comment but I was catching up on KSK and saw your link of the Georgetown fans getting shit thrown at them by Syracuse fans (as a proud Philadelphian I was APPALLED). I was actually in the Georgetown section at that game, I’m the guy in the top row next to the brown dude, with the sideburns, who strikes back throwing shit at the retard SU fans.