Jerri Blank Goes Out for the Pom Squad

The Patriots added an 18-year-old to their cheerleadering squad last year, so 41-year-old Shelley Lawlor of Medway thought she could represent the other polar of the age spectrum. Either that or Belichick is assembling his own dance team of married bitches. We’d write her a fake cheerleading biography, but it’d take up three posts. And don’t make any knocks about that 225 number representing her weight or your head will meet the business end of that FUPA.

Damn Pats. Where was Craig Robinson to tell her old ass to head home?

[Dauleriospin]

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32 Responses to “Jerri Blank Goes Out for the Pom Squad”

  1. Tim Tebow's Girlfriend's Tits Says:

    Either that or Belichick is assembling his own dance team of married bitches.

    Looks like you answered your own question.

  2. Brady Quinn's Courage Says:

    The story does have a happy ending though: While the middle aged white person with a vagina didn’t make the cheerleading squad, she was a perfect fit for the Patriots linebacker corps.

  3. chris-bessmervin Says:

    Tommy’s mother is a stone cold fox.

  4. Monkey Business Says:

    God, that’s just horrible. It’s HORRIBLE. GOD MY EYES. IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE.

  5. Folksy Racism Says:

    I was a user, a boozer, and a loser.

  6. Tomlinson's Pain Tolerance Says:

    Looks like an average woman in Boston.

  7. Upstate Underdog Says:

    do not want.

    Ape, nice “Strangers with Candy” reference

  8. Mr. Pilkington Says:

    My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

  9. Otto Man Says:

    Mmm. Somebody’s bacon strip is sizzlin’.

  10. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    Just ask her if she wants cake. Then you’ll know.

  11. J.L. White Says:

    Her hip looks like it has a sideways ass on it.

    Well, it’s not like cheerleaders show off their legs that much.

  12. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    She’s not going to Fun Island.

  13. Otto Man Says:

    +1 Gino

  14. Durumdog Says:

    Would.

  15. Mo Dred Says:

    So, I checked out the pics and what—no room for dahkies up in there? I mean at least something for Tawh-mee to get all kinds of interwebs racist about in front of the boys then when he’s alone on the crapper he can secretly fantasize about her, clean up his dead babies with Scott brand, wipe his ass, and forget to flush.

  16. Foxxy Brown Says:

    @Mo Dred — we missed the bus

    /waiting for Al Sharpton to start boycotting me

  17. Steve Wozniak Says:

    I’d hit that.

  18. Visanthe Shiancoe's horse cock Says:

    She’d be the only NFL cheerleader with a gunt.

  19. Bubby Brister's Mop Says:

    Wait, so were we expecting the New England cheerleaders to be attractive? I don’t see how she drags down the reputation of the squad any. Everyone knows the typical Boston area woman, let’s call her Muffy Worthington III, is either a liberal feminist who finds cheering degrading or a stuck up preppy who won’t let you in her ass let alone shake it in support of her team.

  20. Mathemagician Says:

    She’s 50! 50 years old ladies and gentlemen!

    /God I hate Molly Shannon

  21. Fear The Hobbits Says:

    ONCE YOU SEE IT…

    YOU CAN’T UNSEE IT!

  22. rae carruth Says:

    Belicheck thinks her thighs are just as hot and shapely as Mangini’s

  23. Nimby Says:

    Jerri, what does V-I-C-T-O-R-Y spell?

    Fandango?

  24. Arm Strongcock Says:

    Lookin good, Madge!!!

  25. Vince Wilspork Says:

    I saw this when I was looking through Boston.com and the first thing I thought was “good god, KSK would have a field day with this.” Fupa is definitely one of my favorite acronyms.

    Oh, and Bubby, I think you’re confused, we’re talking about Boston, not New Haven. Get your facts straight.

  26. Sea Otter Says:

    Well, I see at least one member of Tommy’s harem will be representin’ on the sidelines this season. She even has the 80s hair on the go. She should have worn an ill-fitting Van Halen concert shirt, though, to really complete the aging cougar ensemble.

  27. elvis grbac's blue suede shoes Says:

    She’s a looker. You know, in that whole Iowa sort of way.

    /IA Native
    //too early for the beer goggles to come out

  28. Kimbo Gash Says:

    Beer goggles? That would have to be some pretty goggy beer.

  29. LaFavre's Next Retirement Says:

    I think I met her at a bar last week. Even I wouldn’t go out with her, and that my friends is saying a lot.

  30. Nebakanezer Says:

    They shouldn’t tag those cows with their weight like that!

  31. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    Where was Craig Robinson to tell her old ass to head home?

    I was hoping for Michelle Obama’s brother, but that Craig Robinson is cool, too.

  32. fatty mcbutterpants Says:

    HEY LADY “got gunt?”

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