I’ve Seen This Movie Before
02.27.09
So this morning I woke up to news that the Redskins have inked both Albert “Stubblefield 2.0″ Haynesworth and DeAngelo Hall to long-term contracts worth a combined $155 million, $64 million of which is guaran-damn-teed.
ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME, ASSHOLES? HAVE WE NOT BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD BEFORE? ARE YOU FUCKING SCHMUCKS TRYING TO FUCK US IN THE ASS FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS? COULDN’T YOU HAVE JUST BOUGHT ANOTHER FAILING THEME PARK? DOES IT EVEN BOTHER YOU THAT EVERY VETERAN IN THE LEAGUE LOOKS UPON YOUR FRANCHISE AS A PLACE TO COME GET PAID BEFORE TANKING FOR THE NEXT THREE YEARS? WHY DON’T YOU FUCKERS GO TAKE A FEW DOZEN SPINS ON THE BATMAN RIDE AT SIX FLAGS OVER GEORGIA?
With all that being said, WE HAVE THE BEST D-TACKLE IN THE GAME AND WE’RE GOING TO THE FUCKIN’ SUPER BOWL, WOOOOOOOOO! WHO’S WITH ME?
“I’M WITH YA, MAJ! BOOK THE PLANE TICKETS, MA, WE’RE PLAYIN’ ON SUPER SUNDEEEEEEE!”
Kill me.
Update: My man Wale weighs in on the overnight signings via Twitter: “i love hall…i think hes great…i just feel like we need an effective reciver to go with moss..randel el isnt whats hot in the streets”
So very true.
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you just handed out 150+ million to “Toast and the Fat Man.”
Good Luck with that.
GO COWBOYS!!!
No one falls for a double move with as much grace as DeAngelo Hall.
As a Steelers fan who purchased his SB XLIII ticket off of a Skins fan, I can only say this: I look forward to further opportunities at the same endeavour.
Sadly Dan Snyder has Al Davis and Jerry Jones to make him look intelligent and actually knowledgeable about football. And those 2 idiots have three rings each, yet still are a laughing stock.
Ahahahah………No way this doesn’t blow up in Dan Snyder’s face. He should have “Craftsman” tattoed on his forehead, he is a tool guaranteed for life.
+1 Otto
Thank you for Greenskeepers, “Lotion”
“Those that know how to succeed know how to not make the same mistake over and over again. That’s how you succeed, and that’s something I’ve done all my life.”
Dan Snyder, Feb. 25, 2001, just before free agency opened that year.
SSB, I think Cerato just signs every deal he’s a part of “disaster”. He should legally change his name to “Walking Disaster”.
In all seriousness, I kind of like the signing of Haynesworth. Why he’d sign DeAngelo Hall, though, is beyond my understanding, unless Snider and Al Davis had a bet and Snider lost.
Whoops! My bad. I just saw that the ‘Skins are paying him $100M over 7. Knowing the Titans there was no way in hell they were going to pay that. Well good luck to you guys. I think he’s a great player, maybe a little injury prone but man he’s fantastic against the run. And I seriously doubt that he is going to stomp on anyone’s face anymore, but give him a break, o-line men usually get away with murder.
Monkey Business:
Peter King can buy chemistry. And concrete cyanide.
awb- WE’RE FUCKING CONFLICTED!
Fred will be a good pickup if they can time his injuries so they don’t coincide with Kool Aid’s and Moriss’s.
Soooo, I’m lost here. Washington fans don’t want Haynesworth? Or do they? I’d love to see him stay with the Titans
Except Corey Dillon was three years younger when he joined the Pats.
FMRA – I’m not sure why you would be. I mean, if my starting All-World QB were coming back from major knee surgery, and basically spent the last year banging a Brazillian supermodel while sitting on his ass, I’d be pretty damn concerned.
As a Colts fan, I can say this: Fred Taylor is not Corey Dillon.
Regarding Haynesworth, when will Redskins fans learn that you can’t buy chemistry?
So overpaying for Randle El was a bad idea now?
/reflects on ‘Skins fans bleating in 2006
@ UU:
+1 handful of Valiums
FRED TAYLOR IS THE NEW COREY DILLON.
Is it bad that I’m really fucking excited about this?
Next up: 12 year contracts for Marvin Harrison, $15 million guaranteed for Vick, singing Derrick Brooks and Warrick Dunn which Cerrato explains being for his great affection for country-western performers Brooks & Dunn, trade Carlos Rogers for Shaun Rogers so that Haynesworth has a Golden Corral buddy…
Now I’m waiting for news on the Redskins signing Pacman Jones to a 3 year deal worth 22 million. This would be the ultimate trifecta and would put the over/under on time before the first suspension of one of the three at 5 months.
Day 1 of the Offseason Bowl and the Redskins are already ahead of everyone on the “Largest and Dumbest Amount of Money Thrown Around” as they usually are.
The one that gets me is 6 years/$54 mil for Hall. You mean you couldn’t have gotten him for a Subway $5 footlong and a the promise of maybe making the team? Who else was bidding on his services?
Who gives a shit when the ‘Skins give a truck full of cash to an overrated one year wonder?
It happens every year. That is how I know that spring is on it’s way.
You know who is wild in the streets? Circle Jerks
You know who is hot in the streets? Ike Motherfuckin’ Hilliard
Mike Lupica Says:
February 27th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Haynesworth’s ACL is trembling in anticipation of all that sweet sweet bling.
I figured it was his big fat ass that made his ACL tremble
black guys with Italian last names for first names always make me laugh.
as always Otto, you are ahead of the curve.
I would make a snarky comment right now but I’m still in disbelief that the Eagles shit the bed twice against this team last year
I demand you take my picture down. That was taken before I became the sit-up champ of the beltway! Just because it was on twitter doesn’t mean I want it spread around.
Great response Skye. Allow me to add on:
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (deep breath) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (another deep breath)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Oh god, oh god, oh god (wipes tears from face)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (blacks out from lack of oxygen)
Danny’s getting ready for the uncapped year that’s about to happen. He’s gonna gamble it all two seasons from now. You think this offseason is nuts, just wait and see what happens next offseason.
Haynesworth’s ACL is trembling in anticipation of all that sweet sweet bling.
+1 Otto for the Greenskeepers song. For the mock draft of “Songs to make love to”, right?
The night is very cold
I’m feeling kind of weak
I think I’ll make myself a cap from your right buttocks cheek
And then I will go walking with my little dog
And then I’ll bury you underneath a log
Moss is an effective receiver? How many passes last year hit him in the fucking numbers that he dropped? Homeboy can only catch lofty Favre/Rivers passes. He can’t catch a Campbell bullet with horse glue on his hands.
The Supperclub, really?
Florio hacked again?
Need more of the basketball tank top guy. Gets me every time.
I’m likely going to be busy during today’s commenter draft, so let me make some pre-emptive picks:
1. Goldfinger
2. Laetitia Casta
3. Greenskeepers, “Lotion”
4. Supperclub in Amsterdam
5. Knob Creek
6. Franklin Delano Roosevelt
7. Derrick Thomas
8. “Lisa the Vegetarian”
Hopefully, one of those will work.
What are you complaining about Maj? Drew’s team just signed Sage fucking Rosenfels to compete with Tarvaris Jackson and Gus Frerotte…
Damn, and the ‘Skins were so fun to watch at the beginning of this past season. Sigh.
And phew, is it Sexy Friday already in here? That Warrshington fan is quite the studmuffin.
From now on, Haynesworth’s only stomping faces with shoes made from solid gold.
This is going to end so badly. And by that, I mean congrats, Redskins fans. This is your high-water mark for 2009. But you knew that already.
GOOD MOVE, COOCH!
Just because he’s new to the team doesn’t mean they should make haynesworth wear a basketball jersey.
and I’m calling it right now: haynesworth and portis will end up fighting during training camp.
This deal has disaster written all over it
Please keep Redskins fan away from Sexy Friday, thank you.
That being said, they will definitely win the super bowl this year
With all that being said, WE HAVE THE BEST D-TACKLE IN THE GAME AND WE’RE GOING TO THE FUCKIN’ SUPER BOWL, WOOOOOOOOO! WHO’S WITH ME?
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO ONE CAN FUCK WITH US ON SUNDEE, ESPECIALLY DURING THE OFF-SEASON!
glad he’s signing a bunch of strong character guys
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
So this increases Double J’s desire for Stabby McStabalot, yes?
Bruce Smith wears his Off-Season Champions Ring almost as proudly as his four AFC Champions rings.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…..hahahahahahahaha!
/stroke from Redskin idiocy