You go out one Saturday afternoon, the entire earth shifts on its axis. In case you missed it, Matt Cassel was dealt to the Chefs (GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY) with Mike Vrabel for a second rounder. A two? That’s it? Holy shit, someone called in a favor. Either that, or Scott Pioli still has those surveillance photos of Belichick banging Dina Lohan with a crescent wrench. Also, the Broncos tried to get Cassel by orchestrating a three-team trade involving Jay Cutler (Cutler’s reaction: “Whatever. Fine.”). And Florio’s PFT site is suddenly under the domain of NBC Sports. I expect Matt Millen to soon be a contributor. BREAKING NEWS: Millen says Ben Roethlisberger is dead. No, wait. That was a cactus.
Tags: quick hits
February 28th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
But now they can sign Leigh Bodden!
February 28th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
I sure hope Cassel’s first order of business in KC is to take Bernard Pollard out for a huge steak. And then maybe let him fuck his girlfriend, or anything else he wants. Sort of a whole “thanks for rescuing me from a lifetime of mediocrity” gesture.
February 28th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
He’s no sage Rosenfels.
/looking for extension cord.
February 28th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
Arrowhead Addict is ejaculating all over the Internet
February 28th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Well, I guess “a second rounder” is a code word for “TONY GONZALEZ, DWAYNE BOWE, LARRY JOHNSON, GLENN DAAAAAAAHSEY, AND EVERY FACKIN’ DRAFT PICK THAT KANS-ASS CITY HAS FAH THE NEXT THREE FACKIN YEEEEEE-AHS!!!”
/NO ONE DENIS THIS
//um…..actually, someone should deny this
February 28th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
Is Otto Man out spending time with his wife, or his kids, or doing that “having a life” crap? I demand a reaction.
February 28th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
In case you missed it, Matt Cassel was dealt to the Chefs (GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY) with Mike Vrabel for a second rounder.
I’m confused. My team did something … good?
February 28th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
While I share Arrowhead Addict’s enthusiasm, I did not need this image:
I’m not drinking the Pioli Kool-Aid. Not at all. I’m doing a freakin’ kegstand gulping down throatfuls of Pioli Pilsner! Boy, does it taste good.
But this line is golden.
Gotta love that Bernard Pollard helped the Chiefs do what Carl Peterson couldn’t do in 20 years.
Yep. Cassel got where he was today because of a Chief, so this is only fitting.
I’m still trying to process these feelings I’m having. What’s the opposite of gut-wrenching despair? Hope? Am I spelling that right?
February 28th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
Good move for the Chiefs, but not as good as securing the Dreaded Four-Headed Quarterback Monster named SageTarvGus Booty.
February 28th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
“I’m confused. My team did something … good?”
Lets not go crazy just yet. Lets see Moosetard do well without MILF Hunter coaching him.
February 28th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Dreaded Four-Headed Quarterback Monster named SageTarvGus Booty.
Gus Frerotte was released by the Vikings. So the quarterback battle is between T-Jack, Sage Rosenfels, and John David Booty…
Laughs.
Remembers Elisha’s ass-like performance against the Eagles in the Divisional playoffs.
Remembers Elisha’s extended multi-year contract.
Stops laughing; starts crying.
February 28th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Not so fast there, Otto. It has been my experience that high-profile players traded away from the Patriots have a small explosive injected into their knee, set to go off…..oh, about a year or so after the trade.
Belichick convinces them it’s for their own good.
February 28th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
But now they can sign Leigh Bodden!
Or Mike Furrey. Unfortunately, I am serious.
February 28th, 2009 at 8:08 pm
Um…before we go crowning this as the ultimate signing (seriously, a 2nd for Vrabel AND Cassel…to quote old South Park, “that’s pretty fucked up, right there”) – does anyone believe that KC’s line is going to be able to keep Cassel upright enough to find that bevy of (giggle) talented (heehee) receivers, especially if Gonzalez packs up and leaves town? – I mean, assuming someone can get them to the goal line, I guess he could find Vrabel on the tackle eligible…
\Invests in Cassel t-shirts
\\ships said t-shirts to wherever Manumaleuna is from
\\\I miss Laserface – shouldn’t he chime in on Cutlerfucker almost being traded in a 3-way (SEXY!) to Tampa, landing Cassel in Denver?
February 28th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
@ Schaub- Check his twitter
February 28th, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Pats trade unrestricted free agent for 34th pick in the draft? Cool. Guess the mighty tighties will have gotten at least a #1 for Fatty Haynesworth.
February 28th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
What the FAACK?
February 28th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
“Pats trade unrestricted free agent for 34th pick in the draft?”
Cool and completely not true! It’s a twofer!
February 28th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Now Belichick just has to wait for UPS to show up with the video tape Mr. Pioli shipped back to him and the transaction will be complete… All it took was ONE lopsided deal to get that pesky tape of the Rams walk through back!
February 28th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
The deal also included three of the finest married women in the Kansas City area.
February 28th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
threadjack
It’s been confirmed: Brian Dawkins to Denver Broncos.
http://www.nfl.com/news/story?id=09000d5d80efe6f7&template=with-video-with-comments&confirm=true
What’s the traditional mourning ritual in Philadephia? Extra-large sack cloth while throwing batteries at Joe Banner?
/tj
February 28th, 2009 at 10:50 pm
er, um, Drew? the not-so-Sage transaction is not going to disappear no matter how much you ignore it
February 28th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
This is just proof that Vrabel and Cassel suck, and also one of the reasons why New England will continue to be awesome.
By the way, did you hear? The Cowboys just traded for Jon Kitna. This is why we suck.
Watch my reality show.
February 28th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
So this move leaves the Pats with only 1 LB that is on Social Security.
March 1st, 2009 at 2:30 am
It’s a perfectly reasonable trade. Cassel was the most overrated player of the year by a fuckin’ mile. It’s not like this no-name hack was throwing the ball to Dwayne Bowe. There’s no R. Moss in KC. He’ll fall flat on his face. Vrabel was ineffective last year. He’s done. Matter of fact, maybe they should’ve hired Vrabel as D-Co.
March 1st, 2009 at 3:47 am
If only someone could explain Mike Vrabel to me as a defensive presence, other than, “telling guys what to do, and then not jumping on the tackle (like Ray Lewis)” Cause yeah, KC need a tight end, for oh the last 15 years…
As for casell, the only thing he has completed so far, is not TOTALLY throwing away a game yet. KC gave up nothing cept money… though a long contract on Casell would have been nice just in case, but hey, if he does implode without the OL, they can toss him and say, ok, only down one pick.
March 1st, 2009 at 9:44 am
@ (GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY)
well done Zappa reference? or am i reading into it….?
March 1st, 2009 at 10:38 am
@ nashville steeler fan
It’s a reference to a Snickers commercial. Drew automatically connects every NFL team to food ads.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSAXLayoMKI
March 1st, 2009 at 11:43 am
@ Gino
I seem to remember an SNL sketch where Ray Romano was auditioning for SC anchor, and Great Googly Moogly was his catch phrase. I’ve searched for it, and unfortunately, one of the only funny things that Romano has ever done is not on youtube. Fucker.
March 1st, 2009 at 12:04 pm
@ bobby steels, nashville steelers fan
When I hear “GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY” I think of Howlin’ Wolf and Screamin’ Jay Hawkins.
March 1st, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Cassel was a product of the WEEELKAAHH NATION!!!
March 1st, 2009 at 1:12 pm
@bobby steels
Romano’s catchphrase in the SNL sketch was “sweet sassy molassy.” Here’s a link:
BOO-YAH!
March 1st, 2009 at 1:39 pm
This is where I remember Great Googly Moogly: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSAXLayoMKI
March 1st, 2009 at 1:42 pm
@Gino Tourettsa: Oops.
My mistake.
/shows self out
March 1st, 2009 at 2:35 pm
TJ
Rihanna back with Chris Brown!
/end TJ
March 1st, 2009 at 4:32 pm
This deal looks like it works for both sides.
Matt Cassel: A young Scott Mitchell or a young Trent Green? I’m not sure which yet, but I have to admit that our QB situation suddenly looks a lot more…legitimate? Considering Cassel was a 7th rounder made-good, a #2 for him and an aging but still effective linebacker seems appropriate. As long as Vrabel can stay upright for a year and help teach the Kindergarten D how to win games, I still think Pioli got value out of this.
And look at it from the PAY-TREE-YUT perspective: A throwaway 7th round pick who made good + a linebacker who was one year away from the wavier wire or from the coaching staff = a #2 pick. If I’m Tawmmy, I’d throw on on some Mighty Mighty Bosstones and pull out the Sammy keg from last night.
Did my Chefs just do something right? Carl Peterson really must be dead.
March 1st, 2009 at 4:39 pm
We concur with Otto…
Goo…wuudd? What this goo..wudd you speak of?
March 1st, 2009 at 5:03 pm
The trade works fine for the Pats, it’s just funny in light of the months Pats fans spent crowing that some other team would get sucked into surrendering multiple 1st round picks for Cassel alone.
March 1st, 2009 at 5:18 pm
I nearly shit myself when I first heard the terms of the deal–I mean, really. Even footbaww fans out here in flyover country expected Cassel to go for at least a 1.
But then I thought about some of the drawbacks…
a) Hadn’t started since HS, limited exposure to game speed, limited scouting tape.
b) Threw for thousands of yards in an offense featuring Randy Moss (How many shitty QB’s have accomplished that feat?? seriously??).
c) BB system–few free agents have been successful on the outside (no Ernie Adams, no video tape, no success?)
…and it made sense. BB snagged a reasonably high pick for two players who may or not be everything the media says they’re cracked up to be.
Reading Boston Globe comments about the Vrabel trade made me smile. C’mon, he’s got a season or two left and then Cockpunch Haley will add him to the coaching staff, if he doesn’t alienate him by July.
That being said, fucking A–this deal might be good for KC.
/shakes head in disbelief
March 1st, 2009 at 5:32 pm
No “crazy josh mcd” tag?
March 1st, 2009 at 8:07 pm
This really looks like a good move for the Chiefs. The AFC West is such a clusterfuck of ineptitude that they might just be able to stumble ass-backwards into winning the division and then get knocked out by a better team in the first round of the play-offs. I’m a Vikings fan- I know what it’s like.
March 1st, 2009 at 9:05 pm
The trade works fine for the Pats, it’s just funny in light of the months Pats fans spent crowing that some other team would get sucked into surrendering multiple 1st round picks for Cassel alone.
That is probably because many talking heads on ESPN, CNNSI, etc. claimed that would be the case. Not surprisingly, no one bothered to take the time to figure out that there really aren’t THAT many teams (especially if you assume the Pats wouldn’t trade him within the division) that need a QB. Plus, franchising him – which they had to do – took all of their leverage away.
March 1st, 2009 at 9:13 pm
TTGT, it wasn’t that franchising him (which, agreed, was the right thing to do) took the leverage away. It was Cassel Signing the tender (which was the right thing for HIM to do too) kinda fucked them up. If he doesn’t sign, he’s “free” to negotiate with another team and then they can negotiate the trade. Essentially, Cassel gave up the freedom of choice for the massive payday. Then gets sent to KC, purgatory, whatever.
March 1st, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Somewhere, Rivers is pissed because he’s got another whiteboy to deal with.
March 1st, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Savior of working men, Jay Mariotti, wrote a scathing anti-Cassel trade piece today. It’s all over deadspin if anyone cares.
/hoping DESPERATELY that someone, ANYONE, cares
//definitely NOT Jay Mariotti
March 1st, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Holy shit:
ArrowheadAddict: “In our comments there was a statement about Chiefs Nation drinking the Pioli Kool-Aid. I’m not drinking the Pioli Kool-Aid. Not at all. I’m doing a freakin’ kegstand gulping down throatfuls of Pioli Pilsner! Boy, does it taste good.”
I gotta start hating the Chiefs more.
March 1st, 2009 at 11:47 pm
@ ArrowheadAddict:
That’s not pilsner. It’s cum.
March 1st, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Chris Mortensen is saying that the Pats turned down a trade where they’d get the 12th overall pick from Denver for Cassel (and then Cutlerfucker would mope his way down to Tampa Bay). Hey gives a few possible reasons why Belichick declined that trade and went with the Chiefs offer, but here is one he left out:
This trade proposal never happened, and Mort is absolutely wrong, yet again.
http://myespn.go.com/blogs/afceast/0-6-0/Why-would-Pats-turn-down-12th-pick-for-Cassel-.html
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:10 am
@ Gino Tourettsa ..well i guess even frank ripped off the greats
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/f/frank+zappa/nanook+rubs+it_20056566.html
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:11 am
now that i think about it, what a great fucking band!
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:13 am
@Rob
That is what I meant. Damn you and your details.
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:35 am
Well, fuck. I have to move Thigpen on the fantasy draft boards now. They way shit went last year I’ll probably move him all the way down to my 2nd round pick.
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:00 am
WTF, first we get an old hag for the pom squad and now we give away 2 players? I can’t wait for the genius’s explanation. Otto, you hosed us!
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Re: AA’s statement….
“In our comments there was a statement about Chiefs Nation drinking the Pioli Kool-Aid. I’m not drinking the Pioli Kool-Aid. Not at all. I’m doing a freakin’ kegstand gulping down throatfuls of Pioli Pilsner! Boy, does it taste good.”
I officially disown AA.