As if there was ever a doubt. Try to contain your shock on this one, but Lance Zierlein of the Houston Chronicle is reporting that Dan Snyder is prepared to spend $100 million on defensive tackle extraordinaire Albert Haynesworth. In addition to the gargantuan money Snyder is using a lifetime of free haircuts to lure the Pro Bowler to town. It’s also being reported that Snyder is adamant about giving up a first and a third round draft pick in exchange for Haynesworth, despite the fact that he’s a free agent. [Mister Irrelevant]
Tags: Albert Haynesworth, dan fucking snyder, He'll get twice as many shots at Andre Gurode, Head Stompers, I don't know what to think, photoshop by Ape, Soon to be regretted contracts, Unsilent Majority
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February 24th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Now he can stomp out Cowboys O-Lineman twice a year!
Idiot.
/thank God I’m not a Redskins fan
February 24th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
But Peter King told me that Haynesworth is a liability due to not being able to stay healthy. Plus, he’s not even a sharecropper, never mind a land baron.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
But Albert Haynesworth doesn’t seem like a potential Scientology recruit.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Why would Snyder over-pay for a guy who’s not washed up? Goes against everything he believes in.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Don’t worry Nate, he’ll be plenty washed up after the first three years. Assuming he doesn’t just mail it in before that.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Stop giving Dan Snyder draft picks! They frighten and confuse him!
February 24th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Why would Snyder over-pay for a guy who’s not washed up? Goes against everything he believes in.
He got him mixed up with Albert Belle. He’ll realize his mistake soon enough.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Why just today on Sportscenter the legendary Merril Hoge was explaining just how valuable Haynesworth is. Synder must have seen that.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
@dAndy: As opposed to his teammate Vince Young, who we all know is currently in his basement plotting to destroy the world.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Even Count Al thinks Snyder is fucking retarded.
Although if Peter King thinks someone is a liability, then he’ll probably get 5 more Pro Bowls.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
You can be sure Vinny Cerrato is whispering “Do it, do it” in Snyder’s ear.
February 24th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
NOW JUST PLAY COLT AND WE’LL WIN EVERY SUNDEE, COOCH!
February 24th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Oh, and I for one welcome the Skins signing of Albert Stubbleworth.
February 24th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
FUCK
fuck
FFFUUUCCCKKK
F.U.C.K.
FFFFFFFFuck
fUUUUUUUUUUUck
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk
fackin shit
//will still believe that they’ll win the division come August
February 24th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Stepping on people and taking time off? He’ll be a perfect fit in Washington.
February 24th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Please God, don’t let this be true! Does anyone else see the second coming of the Dana Stubblefield signing?
I’ll cosign HofC’s statements.
February 24th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
If March is around the corner, then it’s time for the Dan to arise from his secret money vault and hand out free millions to players.
And because of that, we get 4 more weeks of rain.
February 24th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
@ Stu: So you are saying Vince Young is a blogger?
February 24th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
@dAndy: I’m saying he’s a bedwetter. But I’ve got nothing personal against him.
February 24th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
The challenge has been set.
Al Davis will up the ante soon.
February 24th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
This is a way better use of money than when Synder signed Adam Archuleta to a 7 year $35MM contract. Haynesworth is actually better in pass coverage too!
February 24th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
He drove a dumptruck full of money up to my house! I’m not made of stone!
I might, however, be made of stomp.
February 24th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
This is a way better use of money than when Synder signed Adam Archuleta to a 7 year $35MM contract.
He meant to sign David. Tony Kornheiser turned him onto Idol. That kid’s got talent!
February 24th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
At EASTERN MOTORS your roids suspension’s your credit
February 24th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
Usually, at least when your owner spends a ton of money, you can’t get too mad at him being a mouth breather.
This is not one of those times.
February 24th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Dear Elisha: A face guard made of solid gold. Consider it. You’re going to play Stompy twice next season.
February 24th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
+1 Tech N9ne. Al Davis’ double stamp has been triple stamped.
February 24th, 2009 at 6:26 pm
“How many different ways can you say, ‘What were they thinking?’ ” a team executive who declined to be identified said after being told the terms of
Asomugha’s three-year, $45 million contract.Haynesworth’s $100 million with an average of $15 million to $16 million per year contract.“Insanity, stupidity, whatever you want to attach to it. Yeah, the kid is the best
cornerbackdefensive tackle in the league.They paidThey’ll pay for quality. I’ll give them that. But that deal wrecks the league. Absolutely wrecks it. … I’m sureAlDan doesn’t care, but it’s deals like that that change the league for the worse.”February 24th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
where’s beeker?
February 24th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Wait…this is the same guy who curb-stomps people like Edward Norton in American History X? 100 million? Jesus maybe I should study that movie a little bit more.
February 24th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Having a Penn State-Ohio State boredom basketball-kkake for whoever is down…..http://coolhwhipping.blogspot.com/
The off-season blows.
February 24th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Why isn’t Beaker sitting next to Snyder?
February 24th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Good. Maybe then Fat Albert will curb-stomp Jamal Jackson so Andy Reid has to bring in a new center. Maybe he can curb-stomp Andy Reid?
Is Dan Snyder Al Davis’ secret illegitimate son? Anyone?
February 24th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Whatever. They’re not giving up picks, they can more than afford to pay him… as long as they come in under the cap and don’t lose DeAngelo and can sign their draft picks, I’m fine with it. Dude’s a beast. Could be a bust. Whatever. The Skins were worse than their record last year. Can’t hurt to shake things up a bit.
February 24th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
WAIT! Wait one friggin minute… Daniel Snyder is going to pay $100 million for Mrs. Buttersworth to play D-Tackle for the skins? Those gotdamned pancakes better be made out of gold and sparks better shoot outta her bottle.
/what were we talking about again?
February 25th, 2009 at 1:06 am
Normally I don’t begrudge pro athletes signing contracts worth enough money such that you could kill multiple people and buy your way out of it, but c’mon. $100 million dollars? In the middle of an economic recession? When I’d imagine a ton of people aren’t going to be renewing their season tickets? Not only that, but for a good, but not great, defensive tackle with a history of performance issues? Unless the contract reads like “Albert Haynesworth will be guaranteed the veteran minimum, and everything else is incentives, you lazy, shiftless fuck”, I wouldn’t touch it with Jerry Jones’ dick.
\secretly glad the Colts don’t have to play this guy twice a season anymore
February 25th, 2009 at 3:25 am
See? this is why it’s unfair when people call Dallas a trainwreck (which, let’s face it, they sort of are).
I’m always like “hey! WAS has been a trainwreck WAY longer than Dallas. Give credit where credit is due.”
/would take crazy ass Jerrah over Danny “the Douchebag” Snyder any day.
February 25th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
as a cowboys fan i’m praying this is true.
you’re high if you think you’re going to get any production out of a PAID haynesworth.
albert will be the epitome of fat and happy.
February 25th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Wait, I thought monkey business was blubbering fat ass Rob, Giants fan?!?! Not Colts fan.
/easily confused
February 25th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Snyder’s going to insist the Skins use the rare 1-10 Defensive Scheme.