As if there was ever a doubt. Try to contain your shock on this one, but Lance Zierlein of the Houston Chronicle is reporting that Dan Snyder is prepared to spend $100 million on defensive tackle extraordinaire Albert Haynesworth. In addition to the gargantuan money Snyder is using a lifetime of free haircuts to lure the Pro Bowler to town. It’s also being reported that Snyder is adamant about giving up a first and a third round draft pick in exchange for Haynesworth, despite the fact that he’s a free agent. [Mister Irrelevant]

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40 Responses to “”

  1. Johnny Drama Says:

    Now he can stomp out Cowboys O-Lineman twice a year!
    Idiot.

    /thank God I’m not a Redskins fan

  2. Slothrop Says:

    But Peter King told me that Haynesworth is a liability due to not being able to stay healthy. Plus, he’s not even a sharecropper, never mind a land baron.

  3. Weed Against Speed Says:

    But Albert Haynesworth doesn’t seem like a potential Scientology recruit.

  4. Nate Newton's van Says:

    Why would Snyder over-pay for a guy who’s not washed up? Goes against everything he believes in.

  5. Unsilent Majority Says:

    Don’t worry Nate, he’ll be plenty washed up after the first three years. Assuming he doesn’t just mail it in before that.

  6. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    Stop giving Dan Snyder draft picks! They frighten and confuse him!

  7. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    Why would Snyder over-pay for a guy who’s not washed up? Goes against everything he believes in.

    He got him mixed up with Albert Belle. He’ll realize his mistake soon enough.

  8. dAndy Says:

    Why just today on Sportscenter the legendary Merril Hoge was explaining just how valuable Haynesworth is. Synder must have seen that.

  9. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    @dAndy: As opposed to his teammate Vince Young, who we all know is currently in his basement plotting to destroy the world.

  10. Animal Mother Says:

    Even Count Al thinks Snyder is fucking retarded.

    Although if Peter King thinks someone is a liability, then he’ll probably get 5 more Pro Bowls.

  11. LaFavre's Next Retirement Says:

    You can be sure Vinny Cerrato is whispering “Do it, do it” in Snyder’s ear.

  12. Big Daddy Drew Says:

    NOW JUST PLAY COLT AND WE’LL WIN EVERY SUNDEE, COOCH!

  13. Big Daddy Drew Says:

    Oh, and I for one welcome the Skins signing of Albert Stubbleworth.

  14. Hustler of Culture Says:

    FUCK
    fuck
    FFFUUUCCCKKK
    F.U.C.K.
    FFFFFFFFuck
    fUUUUUUUUUUUck
    fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkk
    fackin shit

    //will still believe that they’ll win the division come August

  15. Brandon Says:

    Stepping on people and taking time off? He’ll be a perfect fit in Washington.

  16. 301_hip_hoppa Says:

    Please God, don’t let this be true! Does anyone else see the second coming of the Dana Stubblefield signing?

    I’ll cosign HofC’s statements.

  17. Reggie Bush's Pimp Says:

    If March is around the corner, then it’s time for the Dan to arise from his secret money vault and hand out free millions to players.

    And because of that, we get 4 more weeks of rain.

  18. dAndy Says:

    @ Stu: So you are saying Vince Young is a blogger?

  19. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    @dAndy: I’m saying he’s a bedwetter. But I’ve got nothing personal against him.

  20. CuseDenny Says:

    The challenge has been set.

    Al Davis will up the ante soon.

  21. Prehistoric Martyball Says:

    This is a way better use of money than when Synder signed Adam Archuleta to a 7 year $35MM contract. Haynesworth is actually better in pass coverage too!

  22. Albert H Says:

    He drove a dumptruck full of money up to my house! I’m not made of stone!

    I might, however, be made of stomp.

  23. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    This is a way better use of money than when Synder signed Adam Archuleta to a 7 year $35MM contract.

    He meant to sign David. Tony Kornheiser turned him onto Idol. That kid’s got talent!

  24. Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco Says:

    At EASTERN MOTORS your roids suspension’s your credit

  25. Captain Murphy Says:

    Usually, at least when your owner spends a ton of money, you can’t get too mad at him being a mouth breather.

    This is not one of those times.

  26. Leigh Says:

    Dear Elisha: A face guard made of solid gold. Consider it. You’re going to play Stompy twice next season.

  27. GPF Says:

    +1 Tech N9ne. Al Davis’ double stamp has been triple stamped.

  28. Punch Rockgroin Says:

    “How many different ways can you say, ‘What were they thinking?’ ” a team executive who declined to be identified said after being told the terms of Asomugha’s three-year, $45 million contract. Haynesworth’s $100 million with an average of $15 million to $16 million per year contract.

    “Insanity, stupidity, whatever you want to attach to it. Yeah, the kid is the best cornerback defensive tackle in the league. They paid They’ll pay for quality. I’ll give them that. But that deal wrecks the league. Absolutely wrecks it. … I’m sure Al Dan doesn’t care, but it’s deals like that that change the league for the worse.”

  29. Da Great White Hype Says:

    where’s beeker?

  30. CoolHwhip Says:

    Wait…this is the same guy who curb-stomps people like Edward Norton in American History X? 100 million? Jesus maybe I should study that movie a little bit more.

  31. CoolHwhip Says:

    Having a Penn State-Ohio State boredom basketball-kkake for whoever is down…..http://coolhwhipping.blogspot.com/

    The off-season blows.

  32. porky1 Says:

    Why isn’t Beaker sitting next to Snyder?

  33. Charlie Villanuevas Eyebrows Says:

    Good. Maybe then Fat Albert will curb-stomp Jamal Jackson so Andy Reid has to bring in a new center. Maybe he can curb-stomp Andy Reid?

    Is Dan Snyder Al Davis’ secret illegitimate son? Anyone?

  34. Mark Says:

    Whatever. They’re not giving up picks, they can more than afford to pay him… as long as they come in under the cap and don’t lose DeAngelo and can sign their draft picks, I’m fine with it. Dude’s a beast. Could be a bust. Whatever. The Skins were worse than their record last year. Can’t hurt to shake things up a bit.

  35. jackin'4beats Says:

    WAIT! Wait one friggin minute… Daniel Snyder is going to pay $100 million for Mrs. Buttersworth to play D-Tackle for the skins? Those gotdamned pancakes better be made out of gold and sparks better shoot outta her bottle.

    /what were we talking about again?

  36. Monkey Business Says:

    Normally I don’t begrudge pro athletes signing contracts worth enough money such that you could kill multiple people and buy your way out of it, but c’mon. $100 million dollars? In the middle of an economic recession? When I’d imagine a ton of people aren’t going to be renewing their season tickets? Not only that, but for a good, but not great, defensive tackle with a history of performance issues? Unless the contract reads like “Albert Haynesworth will be guaranteed the veteran minimum, and everything else is incentives, you lazy, shiftless fuck”, I wouldn’t touch it with Jerry Jones’ dick.

    \secretly glad the Colts don’t have to play this guy twice a season anymore

  37. Man Bear Pig Says:

    See? this is why it’s unfair when people call Dallas a trainwreck (which, let’s face it, they sort of are).
    I’m always like “hey! WAS has been a trainwreck WAY longer than Dallas. Give credit where credit is due.”

    /would take crazy ass Jerrah over Danny “the Douchebag” Snyder any day.

  38. C-Student Says:

    as a cowboys fan i’m praying this is true.

    you’re high if you think you’re going to get any production out of a PAID haynesworth.

    albert will be the epitome of fat and happy.

  39. spanky datass Says:

    Wait, I thought monkey business was blubbering fat ass Rob, Giants fan?!?! Not Colts fan.

    /easily confused

  40. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    Snyder’s going to insist the Skins use the rare 1-10 Defensive Scheme.

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