Rog be scrimpin’. The NFL announced Commissioner Roger Goodell has given himself a 25% pay cut and is foregoing contractual pay raises. Goodell said that he wants to do his part to help the league contain costs, but added he wasn’t closing on Fridays anymore because he sick of getting to Scooter’s after the keg was pretty much cashed.

Goodell added that if that prick Neil Glat thinks he’s going to work a double-shift just so he can go see Nickelback he can swing on his freaking nutsack, do you hear me?

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11 Responses to “”

  1. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    He has also asked Dan Snyder to cut his washed-up stars signing budget by 50%, which could save the league $36 billion.

  2. fallex Says:

    He was also heard saying, “Fuck you and your league, Selig.”

  3. Rufus Says:

    Well he has to do 25% less work without Pac Man in the league.

  4. LaFavre's Next Retirement Says:

    The poor bastard! How is such a hardworking Nazi supposed to get by on a mere $11Mill?

  5. Reggie Bush's Pimp Says:

    Is he going to allow the refs to continue working on the side as mafia collectors? Ed Hochuli wants to know.

  6. grungedave Says:

    All excessive celebration penalties will now cost the offending party $1M — payable directly to “HNIC Goodell”

  7. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    He’ll make it up by writing tickets in stadium parking lots

  8. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    Don’t weep for Der Kommissar Herr Goodell- Swiss banks don’t ask any questions.

  9. Gino Tourettsa Says:

    Also, he gets to go home to his mansion and top cock Jane Skinner.

  10. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    @Gino: South Carolina Gamecocks, she’s a big fan

  11. bobby Says:

    I am curious about the wealthy romance site”c e l e b m i n g l e. c o m”, why It it so hot currently? I can see their advertiment here and there.

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