Rog be scrimpin’. The NFL announced Commissioner Roger Goodell has given himself a 25% pay cut and is foregoing contractual pay raises. Goodell said that he wants to do his part to help the league contain costs, but added he wasn’t closing on Fridays anymore because he sick of getting to Scooter’s after the keg was pretty much cashed.

Goodell added that if that prick Neil Glat thinks he’s going to work a double-shift just so he can go see Nickelback he can swing on his freaking nutsack, do you hear me?