Small Fun With Peter King Alert: “So many of you don’t believe it, and won’t believe it, until August rolls around and Favre is a 39-year-old land baron in Sumrall, Miss.” And there you have it. Brett Favre once worked the land. But he is now a full fledged LAND BARON. He’s the Carnegie of soil, I tell you. Brett Favre is more than down to earth, people. HE IS THE EARTH. He is the nutrient-rich ground that gives life to us all. Without him, our lives are fallow.
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fuck peter king. fuck favre. thank yaweh he’s gone. good riddance hayseed. go be “just a kid having fun out there” fucking your livestock you selfish, attention whoring asshat
Repee, you think you can find love for Peter King?
“60m seeks overrated Southern varmit-killer/coach-killer QB for late night Gran Torino screenings and discussions of American Airlines policies about Kit Kat bars.”
As long as there is land to be cultivated, there are poopy plants to be grown.
So that’s where laxative comes from.
I can’t believe no one in here is sticking up for Favre and all the great accomplishments he has made over the course of his wonderful NFL career. He’s a legend I tell ya, a legend. One of the best to ever play the game. NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!
/unhappy not opposite day not to you
You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West.
You know… morons.
And also, Lord of the Dance.
As long as there is land to be cultivated, there are poopy plants to be grown. Dishere opium donncomecheap donchaknow.
“Brett, you’ve cultivated all the land.”
“But I can’t be out of land, I’m the Land Baron!”
Actually, he did. Farve is also Baroning allot of land around Winchester in Frankin County, TN. Maybe that means he’ll come back and play for the Titans in 2012. Gotta one up Testaverde
Even money PK’s Favre-ite goes Benoit and chuck’s Breleigh 65 yards past the treeline. Duh, of course she’s incomplete; he overthrew the birch by at least ten yards. Plus, she’s broken into three pieces.
Favre is like a bad case of the piles. He just won’t go away.
“Land Baron” is just one of Brett and Peter’s secret pet names. Brett calls PK Baron of Beef.
Brett Favre is a land baron, and also a gunslinger baron.
A morbidly obese name dropper? Yea, I’d say that was totally King’s daughter
wait, isnt the term “robber baron”?
In related Peter King news, last night I was talking with some friends of a friend. They said that they met one of PK’s daughters (Mary Beth? Laura?). Apparently, she introduced herself by asking them if they knew who her dad was. She then proceeded to hit on them mercilessly and unsuccessfully (she’s a cow, so I’m told).
I’m not sure whether any of that is true, but I kind of hope so.
King already has hand picked Brett’s successor for all his endless ass kissing: Big Ben
Peter King takes himself too seriously- he thinks he’s our monarch and that he can grant land and titles to retards. We did away with that silly monarchy thing a long time ago.
But will Bretty have to wait for 12 hours of darkness for his Vicodin crop to start budding?
I’m all atwitter.
Next thing we know Favre’s gonna be applying for federal farm subsidy money.
Favre can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some illiterate Cajun ancestor willed him a cotton farm.
Ooooooooh……PK and Favre posts…..
/Crosses fingers for a Brett Favre Retirement Speech Liveblog
//Knows this will only happen in his dreams
Wait wait wait wait…. I just finished reading that article…. his daughter’s name is Breleigh? BRELEIGH? Did King convince him that would be a good name for his kid, too?
Does King write entire articles for the sole purpose of proving that he has conversations with people in sports? Christ, this guy is worthless.
I played rail baron when I was a kid
Jeez, Drew, most kids usually played doctor or ninja. Only a sick fuck like you would pretend to be Pablo Escobar.
King secretly sees Brett as the provider of his delicious Red Baron Deep Dish Pizzas, but that’s a love that dare not speak its name.
When will this jizzforbrains learn that describing a text message conversation makes for terrible writing?
FEELING SO STABBY RIGHT NOW.
Making this decision so quickly defines clutch
This is missing the obvious joke in regard to Brett Favre’s seed.
It’s at this point that the lines between PK and Favarro blue into one giant egotistical mass. Fuck em both.
He’s only the Land Baron by night. During the day, he goes about town as a pill-addicted, waffling, self-centered Wrangler pimp.
I like the fact that PK mentioned that “49 weeks ago [he] got a definitive phone message from a decisive Favre” (no doubt which he still has saved). And that whole bit about being with Favre in Mississippi and dreams had Peter King Gay Porn written all over it…
Lord and Lady Douchebag?
“Yeah.”
That’s the text message I got back this morning from Peter King’s daughter after I sent her one that said, simply: “Can I get some dome?”
Btw, nice namedrop on your top five list douche…
Jesus titty-fucking Christ…my contempt for both these men knows no bounds.
The column King wrote on this, short as it was, had enough Favre-slurping kindling for a full-fledged Drewnferno.
Wake me when he becomes Viceroy Favre. It’s beneath me to consort with those baron types.
Baron? Weak. Could even make Viscount or Marquis.
Peter King is definitely the Ass Baron
“A lessor of real property; the owner or possessor of an estate in land or a rental property, who, in an exchange for rent, leases it to another individual known as the tenant.”- Dictionary’s definition of Land Baron.
Brett Favre is the grittiest Land Baron I know.
I heard Brett is going to attempt to grow denim.
maybe he could be a scag baron and take the name savage henry
Brett Favre really loves working the land in Mississippi. That’s why he opted to play football in Wisconsin for 20 years.
“Brett, you’ve cultivated all the land.”
“But I can’t be out of land, I’m the Land Baron!”
“Yes, if Favre was a 17th century Dutch settler in upstate NY he would have been a patroon.”
If he was called the red baron, would he then be a maroon?
/looks for the door
At this point, I’d really like to find out just how fallow my life is without him. Please!!
‘It’s not up to us to choose which laws we want to obey. If it were, I’d kill everyone who looked at me cockeyed!’
Oh, Land Baron? I thought we were quoting the Beer Baron ep. Sorry.
Yes, if Favre was a 17th century Dutch settler in upstate NY he would have been a patroon.
Reminds me of our book draft from last year.
Yes, if Favre was a 17th century Dutch settler in upstate NY he would have been a patroon.
Lookit that little skunk stripe PK has going down the middle of his hair. I submit that he painted that there with a quart of Sherman Williams semi-gloss in the hopes that Brett would go all Pepe le’ Pew on his ass.
the fuck? a Land Baron? MY GOD he is so far up that guys ass.
But is he Master of his Domain?
/oil barons was the superior game