You Can’t Have the Steelers in the Super Bowl Without Jeff Reed Getting Hammered
Jeff Reed getting drunk at a Tampa bar in a wacky “Chillin’ with my Peeps” shirt. All is right with the world. Something tells me this music plays on loop anywhere Jeff goes.
And I do believe that’s back-up tight end Matt Spaeth in this photo with ladies and a tall ginger guy I don’t recognize [Edit: It seems it's TE/FB Sean McHugh. Injured longsnapper Greg Warren appears in the Carolina shirt after the jump]. The kicker and the second-string tight end hitting up the nightlife? CLEARLY THIS IS A TEAM SWEPT UP IN THE HOOPLA!
After the jump, more of the leering drunk kicker. Neil Rackers would never be so ill-behaved!
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
January 27th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Gotta love the whores, err i mean “promotional models”…
January 27th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Jeff “Bong Hits” Reed strikes again
January 27th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
Cue Pey Pey “…liquored-up kicker…”.
January 27th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Just after these pictures were taken, the other Steelers played keep-away with his snow shoe.
“Lonely Kicker!”
January 27th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
I thought the characters from Dragon Ball Z were fictional.
January 27th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
I’m getting a contact high from all the peroxide fumes coming off those pictures.
January 27th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
So I guess we’re not getting a Celebrity pick from Updike. Pity, it might not have been as awful as Rosie’s.
January 27th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
I think you, the reader, can get Jeff Reed to come to your party, too. All you have to do is throw a party! Within minutes of tapping that keg, you will have your very own bleached troll doll passing out on your couch and drunkenly pawing your sister.
//still has a leg made of money
January 27th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Now that’s what I’m talking about.
January 27th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Any chance Jeff can be a celebrity guest on Tool Academy?
/fuck you, that shit is hilarious
January 27th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Another Midori Sour- and keep ‘em comin’!
January 27th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
I’ll always remember Jeff Reed for his terrific role in Airplane.
January 27th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
In English narrator voice
And in our continuing look at retardation in the North American male, we move to a nightclub and focus on the last photograph. Here we have a perfect example of the 3 varying stages of retardation. Starting with the gentleman in the blue shirt, you’ll notice that his eyes are far apart like a parrot’s, his brow is vast and his eyebrows are turned down at Neanderthal-like angles. This is purely a physical deformation. Now, focusing our attention on the gentleman at the bottom, we can see that, with his head back and tongue thrusting out, this man is purely mentally retarded and in need of some sort of assistance. And lastly, looking at the gentleman in the back with the wild white platinum blond hair …
Well, he’s clearly just a douche.
January 27th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Sexy Friday should include some of these women.
January 27th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
He’s great on “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives”.
January 27th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
I would do horrible, unforgivable things to those women.
January 27th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Tekken head?
I like how all the girls look the same. Normally a bad thing, but here…I’m in.
January 27th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Good job, Otto.
January 27th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Dead Glue-Sniffing LLoyd Bridges > Living Red Bull & vodka-chugging Jeff Reed
January 27th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
I’d like to meet that chick’s tits.
January 27th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Man if I was a kicker for a professional football team, I would get all the syphillitic poon I could handle…
And to take a cue from ESPN segues, let’s talk about Ways in Which the Cowboys can Still Make the Playoffs!
January 27th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
I got these dog tags in the ‘nam, never take ‘em off, not for nothin’.
January 27th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
looks like Jeff needs to powder his nose in the third shot, someone get the kicker a bump///long week
January 27th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
I bet the Tampa Bay gynecologist specializing in uterine ruptures are going to make some serious bank after Santonio ‘John’ Holmes gets done with that city.
January 27th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Dear Mister Ryan Clark,
We very much respect your ability to take a man’s head clean off. We also would like to mention that Jeff Reed said some very unflattering things about your mother.
Sincerely,
LLUA
January 27th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Uh, their shirts aren’t fittin.
January 27th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
“And here’s to all that snatch in F-L-A!”
January 27th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Greg Warren sighting
January 27th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
The other guy in the last photo is injured long snapper Greg Warren, although I’m sure that’s not what he tells those whores.
Greg Warren: “What? Why yes, I am Santonio Holmes. No, the game just really looks different on television. Yes, those photos are quite accurate. Why not come back to the hotel and find out.”
On a related note, there is a contingent of women in Pittsburgh who [strike] lie through their teeth [/strike] claim to have made out with/turned down advances from every notable Steeler. They are most assuredly lying. Is this merely a Pittsburgh phenomenon?
January 27th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Jeff’s dog tags got a good garnish of g-warts that night
January 27th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
there is a contingent of women in Pittsburgh who [strike] lie through their teeth [/strike] claim to have made out with/turned down advances from every notable Steeler. They are most assuredly lying. Is this merely a Pittsburgh phenomenon?
Most assuredly not. Haven’t you ever noticed that every sports team that reaches a certain level of popularity has that happen?
January 27th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
This doesn’t make up for the dykefest that took place earlier in the day, but it’s a positive step in the right direction
January 27th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Hey Jeff Reed: Guy Fieri called, he wants his frosted tips back.
January 27th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
No Blue Steel poses?
January 27th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Boy I’ll tell ya Jim, Jeff Reed practices place kicks on autistic girls faces
January 27th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
barkeep, i’ll have a fuzzy navel, and she’ll have the girliest drink in the house.
two fuzzy navels comin’ right up.
January 27th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
Pic 3, apparently steroids also make Ufford less transparent.
January 27th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Phony Gwynn… oh yes, in a Michael Palin voice. I’ll take the lone brunette. All that blonde around her makes her look smart or simply less skank. The one with the way too much eye-liner really isn’t normally that wide awake. It’s the coke.
January 27th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
If I am not mistaken – I believe that is a bar named Blue Martini. MMMM, not that I know or anything.
January 27th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Jeff Reed has gone <a href=”http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s150/Dark_Makora/3D%20Work/SuperSonic.jpg” Super-Sonic!
January 27th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
The Tapout shirt on the meathead really ties the picture together.
January 27th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
That’s douchetastic. Of course, this can’t be the first time two nameless special teamers rode the kicker’s coattails for some Super Bowl poon. I respect Greg Warren for getting his ass off of IR just to get a little. Nothing against Pittsburgh, but these ladies HAVE to be an upgrade over their usual weekend lay, right?
/heard dancers were willingly flying from Vegas just to meet demand
January 27th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
lol anyone notice the ginger going for the tit grab though…very smooth
That is the Blue Martinii, and everyone but the girl thats getting groped by the ginger is a waitress there…in case it wasn’t already obvious lol
January 27th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
@Perfect gentleman: I know at least 3 chicks who claim to have either screwed jeremy shockey, or know a sister of friend [etc] who has. Although I do doubt them, the fact that they all said Shockey makes me think he’s just a huge manwhore. And also, there are fuckin Jersey girls we’re talkin about here so… yea…
January 27th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Did a blowdryer explode at his face?
January 27th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
That bar IS Blue Martini, as Detroits Last Fan aptly pointed out. The girls there are phenomenal, and they have live music that actually kicks ass despite being primarily a martini bar.
By the way, fuck the Steelers. I have to live in Shitsburgh and the overexposure that team gets is year-round, Super Bowl or no Super Bowl.
I’m Scores man. Hi, how are ya?
January 27th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
quick somebody submit this to hot chicks with douchebags!
January 27th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
finally, pictures without drew in them
January 27th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Nipples hard as little rocks….
January 27th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
the ginger dude with matt spaeth is probably former lion sean mchugh, te/fb.
January 27th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
Are we sure that isn’t Mel Gibson?
January 27th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Big Ten you mean Former Fail Lion Sean McHugh Fail End/Fail Back lol
January 27th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
*Looks both ways*
Yeah, I clearly have the same taste as this Blue Martini place. I bought that top for my girlfriend like a year ago.
January 27th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Too much douchebag! My eyes! The goggles do nothing!
January 27th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
LOL once again. Y’all are bagging on a kicker just because he can get more tail than you.
Little wonder why this site offers “advice” on the womens…most of you don’t have a clue.
January 27th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Luther:
I am comfortable in my loserdom.
January 27th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
I think you guys missed the best part of that last shot. If I’m not mistaken, that’s Mitch Berger at center stage with mouth agape.
January 28th, 2009 at 12:05 am
Hey Slothrop:
Proverbs for Paranoids, 1: you may never get to touch the Master, but you can tickle his creatures.
January 28th, 2009 at 12:44 am
@ JackSplat
Obviously successful teams are banging the bejesus out of their respective cities’ skank populations; I’m talking about that phenomenon wherein every group of people knows one chick who insists that she has made out with or refused to make out with a team member. I was wondering if it is a phenomenon particular to Pittsburgh, where the team has a fair amount of cachet (and chicks mistakenly think they gain notoriety by lying about hook ups) or whether in larger/ nicer cities these women find something else to cling to.
January 28th, 2009 at 1:19 am
I wonder how Sean McHugh’s wife, Ashlee, feels about this heh.
January 28th, 2009 at 1:23 am
Hah, it’s the thinner version of Guy Fieri ;)
January 28th, 2009 at 2:42 am
I love this guy, solid all year for my fantasy team, not afraid to focus on what’s most important during Super Bowl weekend…banging as many chicks as possible. Just like the Cowboys of the 90’s, Jeff Reed you’re making Charles Haley and Michael Irvin proud!
January 28th, 2009 at 2:58 am
Just what the fuck did Reed do to his hair? He really does look like a fucking Dragonball Z character, that shit is ridiculous
January 28th, 2009 at 3:26 am
Tell me Reed isn’t “Mr. Heatmeiser” from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. You know. Mr. Hundred and One. A hammered HeatMeiser. And all that Punani is outrageous in the TBay. HH@showoffsports.com
January 28th, 2009 at 6:15 am
PS thats not frosted tips thats freaking frosted hair….love the Guy Fieri jokes haha :D
January 28th, 2009 at 7:15 am
@ Detroit’s Last Fan:
I did notice him going for the tit-grab. Also noticed the wedding band on the tit-grab hand *facepalm*
January 28th, 2009 at 8:09 am
Sterrpid kickel! I bet he wishes it was Intelnationar Tark Rike a Pilot Day! Hell every day is Butt Pilot Day for Jeff Reed.
January 28th, 2009 at 8:19 am
Jeff Reed man…he’s a good kicker.
But he is a total douche. He hosts a show on the southside of pittsburgh, and allegedy sends picture messages of his junk to any girls he meets. I bet those waitresses were none too pleased when they looked at their phones the next day.
“OMG! THE CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES”
… I think I just made myself sick
January 28th, 2009 at 8:49 am
See that bleached blond with the heavy duty eye liner and slutty black t-shirt and the pert tittays? I think I love her.
January 28th, 2009 at 9:42 am
@Edward Pointsman:
Proverb 3: If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don’t have to worry about answers.
January 28th, 2009 at 9:43 am
“A door closed,” McHugh said, “and a world opened.”
January 28th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Jeff Reed looks like Guy Fieri on Trimspa
January 28th, 2009 at 11:15 am
HI-YU-KKKEN!!!
January 28th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Why is Jeff Reed trying to look like the freak working for the Duke in Escape from New York?
/Snake Pliskin’d
January 28th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
I think it’s pretty sad when an attention grabbing moron like Jeff Reed can have women hanging all over him, while guys like me who can carry on a decent conversation and tie a knot in their penis are stuck watching on the sidelines.
/available!
//but don’t tell my wife!!
January 28th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Actually, Greg Warren introduces himself as Greg Warren. Full name. tool.
January 28th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
jeff reed-surfin the backpage escort section for super bowl specials…..
January 28th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
I hope they’re holding a spot for Reed on “Tool Academy”.
January 28th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
I’m actually starting to think that Jeff Reed may just be awesome.
January 28th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
hyped up article do the same with my latest college basketball article http://www.ctsportspicks.com/articles/March-Madness-Odds-Ohio-Teams-to-Make-the-Big-Dance.cfm
January 28th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Tourettsa–Love the obscure SlapShot quote–I like to say it like this though–”to all the steamy snatch in F-L-A” ha ha love it, and you know Ole Skippy Boy is burying his face in some syphlattic poo-nanne…Go Skippy!!!!
January 29th, 2009 at 3:10 am
Yeah that is Mitch Berger at the bottom of the last picture. The Pey-Pey count is two liquored up kickers.
January 29th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
@PG Well, I do know a few girls that proudly claim to have hooked up with athletes, so I just assume it’s some sort of weird attempt to get guys who want their famous athletes’ sloppy seconds or something. Like a female version of this guy I know from LA who’s always bragging about hooking up with these random sub-D-list chicks, like we’re supposed to be amazed or something.
January 29th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Jeff Reed is the man!
February 1st, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Can you provide more details on this?
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:59 am
Actually not one of you know what you are talkin about. I dont know where one of you has seen him drinkin beer. Yall make up some of the dumbest sh@t I have ever heard. And Im 100% sure that if you were with us for 10 min you would have the best time of your life. You would also realize that he doesn’t go up to the girls, they go to him. Get your fact straight before you start bashing somebody.
February 9th, 2009 at 12:53 am
Jeff reed is a drunken mess google that pharse and see what comes up. go to Wolfendales.com and see a few of his teamamtes in action true examples for the young’ins . Jeff reed needs help and needs to be calledon the carpet tot kool his jets. I saw him in action a few nights ago . What a dissapointment. dont know what I expected but that wasnt it . bumpng grinding with anything wit tits. Scott Paxton was there and pulled his pants down and danced with his ass hanging out. Cmon man , does a moral code that exceedds a farm animal have anything to do with bein in the NFL. i amfrom pa , western pa , and I m ready to rip my steelers flag down.
February 9th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
You know what. All you people grow the fuck up. Worry about your own damn life and your own family (that is…if someone can put up with your stupid whining) Jeff has fun. You have ONE life to live. ONE. He only has ONE shot at the NFL. It does not effect his playing one bit so shut the fuck up and if you don’t like him then don’t pull for the damn steelers. It is really as easy as that. I can’t believe you single people out to try to make them look bad and they are winning games for the team. Yeah he parties. SO FUCKIN what. Im readin all this shit about people teaching special needs children and they see Jeff at the bar and think that it would not be a good example. Well your a fuckin hypocrite. Why the hell are you out. EXACTLY. Im sorry if I seem like the asshole but quit your cryin and enjoy life while you still have it. You think Jeff is a bad person. Hang out with him for a month and see how many signings, fundraisers, sporting events, charities that he visits. Half the time it is to thank the community and to give back. So once again get your damn facts straight before you bash someone
August 17th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
spaeth lays so much pipe