Comments on: Tim Couch’s Hooters Gal And Bulls–t Honeymoon Mandates. The KSK Football/Sex Advice Mailbag

By: Rocco

Rocco — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 02:08:14 +0000

@Hyman: Way wrong. Couldn’t be further from the truth.

By: HymanMotherfuckingRoth

HymanMotherfuckingRoth — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 21:41:59 +0000

In Re: Ladies who want to not have sex so that wedding night is more ’special.’

On the wedding night, unless you are boring and have boring and sucky friends, you will be a little bit drunk, and a lot motherfucking exhausted. You will fuck because you are supposed to fuck. You will hopefully have your first married honesty moment, where you gaze soufully into each others eyes (which are maybe at half-mast) and simultaneously sigh “Well, let’s go ahead and do this.” This applies NO MATTER how sexed up you were before, or HOW GREAT your sex life will be afterwards (hint: probably not too good, you cumstain).

This is universally true. It’s science. You can’t fuck with it.

Because of this, withholding sex for a night that likely is not going to be that great at all is a COLOSSALLY FUCKING RETARDED IDEA. Don’t do it.

- Another PSA from your Jewish Homeboy Hyman.

By: Zack

Zack — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 19:41:30 +0000

@ Blue Ballin:
Why bullshit? It’s not like I claimed my ex was a Victoria’s Secret model or anything. I never even said she was particularly good at it. She just happened to think she was (in truth, she was just average). It’s just simple human nature to want to do the things we think we’re good at. Tiger Woods thinks he’s pretty good at golf, that’s why he spends all day playing golf. George W. Bush thought he was good at presidentin’; that’s why he ran for a second term. Have you ever been stuck in a room with a bunch of musical theater students? They’ll sing at you until your ears bleed. And girls who think they’re really, really good at sucking dick will get out there and find a dick to suck. Okay, I know that might not be the most wonderful image in the world to associate with your wife-to-be, but the simple fact is that if she’s confident about her ability to do something well, she’ll enjoy doing it a lot more. Good luck.

By: Blue Ballin

Blue Ballin — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 18:55:54 +0000

@Zack

I call bullshit.

By: Zack

Zack — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 18:06:43 +0000

@ Blue Ballin:
Really? Are you a girl? Have you ever met a girl? You think guys can just ask for head and get it? Any time? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha….sigh.

It really all depends on the girl. Girls who are confident in their skill like to exercise them. I was once fortunate enough to live with a girl who wanted to go down on me so often, it got to the point where she would literally ask for permission. My advice would be to make her genuinely feel like she gives the best head on the planet, and you’ll find that she’s a lot more enthusiastic about it.

By: Mike D

Mike D — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 17:07:02 +0000

How is banging a Hooters girl a big deal? I’ve done two and I’ve been fucking broke since 1999.

By: Rocco

Rocco — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 16:04:53 +0000

@Blue Ballin: Just trying to help. I was warned myself not to get married. I didn’t believe the guys. I thought they were just fucking with me.

By: Rocco

Rocco — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 16:02:11 +0000

@Blue Ballin: Well there’s your problem right there: listening to the church.

By: Slash

Slash — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 16:00:49 +0000

RE Blue Ballin Says:
“so basically that’s why I agreed. Its not a power play by my lady, and I’m not worried about it. Its just good old fashioned catholic guilt!”

That should have been my second guess. Apparently, the Catholic Church is fucked up in ways my inadequate imagination can’t fathom.

By: Rocco

Rocco — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 15:51:08 +0000

For you Buffalo haters: Buffalo Did You Know.