Thunn, Nunn, Unght, Suvuh, Shicks, Fuvv, Fuhh, Frehh, Tehh, Wuhh…

Huppy Nuh Yuh, uveywunn!
Tags: Auld Lang Syne and shit, Happy New Year, in 2010 he'll die right at the stroke of midnight, jeez punter that's just wrong, My God is Dick Clark old, thanks for not showing the Jonas Brothers making out
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January 1st, 2009 at 12:24 am
So, so wrong, yet so, so right.
January 1st, 2009 at 12:43 am
Express train to hell, now boarding… This train will not be stopping at Purgatory and will be going directly to hell. All aboard!
January 1st, 2009 at 12:59 am
I’ll take Different Strokes Dick over Clay Aiken or whothefuckever the other guy is any day.
January 1st, 2009 at 1:20 am
I have to confess, when I saw Dick doing the countdown, as much as I felt for the guy, couldn’t help thinking that he needs to retire. He’s been in showbiz since the ’50s, for fuck’s sake. Give it up, man. Pass the New Year’s baton to someone else. All the jokes about never aging aside, you can’t do it forever. You can be there, just hand the countdown to someone else. Go out gracefully. Smile and nod and wave, just don’t speak.
January 1st, 2009 at 1:37 am
Hey he’s making progress, his first year back he counted down out of order.
January 1st, 2009 at 2:03 am
Don’t you mean “stroke out at midnight in 2010?”
January 1st, 2009 at 2:12 am
I swear to God I had no idea he was still recovering from a stroke until about 10 minutes ago.
Also, what Slash said.
January 1st, 2009 at 2:23 am
That’s the best Al Davis has looked in years.
January 1st, 2009 at 2:24 am
He did alright. Last year was really awful. Assuming nothing goes wrong, he should be approaching normal next year.
January 1st, 2009 at 3:29 am
happy thursday bitches
January 1st, 2009 at 3:38 am
Stroke? What the fuck are you guys talking about? I thought the botox finally got to that crypt keeping bastard.
January 1st, 2009 at 3:47 am
What the fuck does he even do when not counting from 10? Just get (current multiple platinum artist) to the damn thing.
Hipsters won’t give a fuck and granpappy ain’t got dat dang television set to work since the knob broke off.
Dagnabbit, people.
January 1st, 2009 at 7:35 am
And he had to pick RYAN SEACREST of all people to host his show. Damn it, I’m going to sleep at 11 PM this New Year’s Eve if it happens again.
January 1st, 2009 at 8:44 am
Sorry in advance for the long post. But I can only hope that someone will print this out or write it down. Or skip to the next post
RECIPE – Blackeye peas and ham.
1-leftover ham bone from Christmas dinner, or a package of ham-hocks. (Stop here if you don’t have a ham bone, can’t get hocks at the grocery, or if you are Joo-ish).
1-16 oz bag of dried blackeye peas
1-medium size onion – diced fine
1 whole damn bulb of garlic – crushed and minced
1 tablespoon kosher salt
1/2 tablespoon freshly cracked black pepper
1 tsp of thyme
1/2 tsp of cayenne
enough water to cover the whole damn thing.
Place in biggol pot.
Bring to LOW simmer. Simmer for 2 – 2 1/2 hours or until beans are tender.
You better be stirring this shit every 15 minutes or so, right?
30 minutes before beans are done, remove the ham bone, or hocks and let cool. When cool, pick over the ham bone – yeah, that sounds gay – remove the bits of bone, fat, and non-edible material and such and return the bits of ham meat back in to the bean pot.
When done, garnish with a bit of freshly cracked black pepper and serve with corn bread. Recipe to follow.
I fucking love all you guys and hope you all have the bestest New Year ever. For the record I am a 47 year old white guy but my grandmothers had some real southern soul.
January 1st, 2009 at 9:59 am
wow, recipes, angst, hate…KSK New Year has it all!
MMP: Nail meet head. I had to flip to dull Carson Daly when Dick started counting. I don’t mind Seacrest…for that job. Carson Daly – did he have a personality? He didn’t last night and I never watched TRL enough to get to know him.
Dick Clark is an icon. But sometimes an icon needs to put their feet up and hang out in a big old chair and let the kids help out.
January 1st, 2009 at 11:02 am
[watching New Year's Rocking Eve with girlfriend]
gf: Wow! He looks terrible.
me: Who?
gf: Dick Clark. That new face lift didn’t pan out so well.
me: You’re joking, right? The guy had a stroke.
gf: Like years ago. Didn’t they say he had a tandem face lift with his wife? It was in the newspaper.
me: National Enquirer isn’t a newspaper.
gf: Still…
me: …yes. His leather skin and lack of facial movements can be attributed more to a botched face lift than a crippling stroke that emaciated this man’s shell to rubble. Yes. A face lift.
[gf burps]
me: Your face lift makes you fart smell like burritos and old apple cider.
[gf walks out. leaves male to masturbate all alone]
January 1st, 2009 at 11:05 am
WAtching Dick CLark was like watching Brett “Just having fun out there” Farve. Except I know that Dick didn’t have control over what happened to him, but good on him to come back but like others said time to step aside. Actually this just makes my Favre hate that much stronger or explains Favre’s retarded play for the past decade (or two) He must of had a stroke!
January 1st, 2009 at 11:26 am
Oh that was Dick Clark!…I thought they were trying to show everyone what humanity will look like in the new post-Robot takeover apocalypse.
And did Mickey make it to Times Square or are there too many “moolies” and “ricans” there for his liking?
January 1st, 2009 at 11:38 am
Weekend at Bernie’s with a speech impediment….what a concept!
/falls off the couch laughing at Al Davis comparison
January 1st, 2009 at 12:10 pm
While I somewhat agree with most of the posts here, I cannot help but wonder who I will watch once D.C. is gone. I am 40 years old and absolutely despise Seacrest. Stroke or not, sad or not, I would stilll rather see Mr. Ageless on new years eve than any other “celebrity”. Clark is finally showing his age, but is also showing his true character by continuing to count the ball down on new years eve. For those of my generation, there really is no better option than Dick Clark on that auspicious evening. Kill Seacrest and let Dick do his thing, stroke or not til he is six feet under. Then and only then will I stop watching New Yorks electric bill skyrocket before my very eyes.
January 1st, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Dan, do you think we could do one of those movie trades where we suck the life out of Seacrest and give said life to Dick, thus ensuring another 30 years of Dick’s Rockin New Year and just keep doing that forever?
January 1st, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Happy New Year, fellas. May the haterade and MB3 dialogue flow freely in 2009.
January 1st, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Seeing the actual Dick Clark last night whilst under the influence of alcohol was probably the most destructive event of my 20 years on this earth. I have been irreparably damaged.
January 1st, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Its time they stop propping Dick up there for the New Years countdown. Its almost as bad as when they make Ali make appearances at events.
They should put both of these fucks down !!
January 1st, 2009 at 2:25 pm
your a fucking cuntface!!! Dick Clark had a stroke – its not his fault that he speaks that way! At least he has
the balls to still do it, unlike YOU who would just jack off all night insted.
Fuck you. I hope you burn in hell. where you belong.
January 1st, 2009 at 3:22 pm
huh. here i was thinking it was his reanimated corpse. who knew the man was still alive?
January 1st, 2009 at 5:49 pm
I flipped it over to Carson Daly and was glad for it. Why? Because Daly was smart enough to keep his mouth shut during the last minute of the countdown and let the moment speak for itself. Slam him for TRL all you want. But he did do the right thing this time.
January 1st, 2009 at 5:55 pm
The scary thing is that he was still more coherent than Kelly Pickler. “We’ go’ a grea’ sho’ he’ toni’!”
January 1st, 2009 at 6:04 pm
/slow clap
January 1st, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Most of these comments and the original post are to generate a few crass laughs. Hey, nothing really wrong with that. I chuckled at most of them. But like somebody said, this guy has been in show biz for half a century. No way he doesn’t know how he’s struggling. Yet he’s got the balls to go out there and do it. Totally respect the guy.
January 2nd, 2009 at 1:28 am
@inOhio: yeah, he gets mad props for getting out there and doing his think, but there’s a point at which he should have realized “maybe I should hang it up this year.” It’s like watching JoPa out there doing his thing. You can’t help but wonder why the fuck he’s still out coaching, no matter how great he is at it.