The NFL Needs a Hero
Please please please beat the Steelers, RoboFlaccoCop on a unicorn.
Tags: bert flacco, captain caveman, Joe Flacco is your new bicycle, Ufford Photoshops
-
- STEEL YOURSELF FOR KANYE JOKES
- HASSELHOFF DRUNK AGAIN, WITH VIDEO
- WANDA SYKES GON’ DRANK
- JON STEWART AS GLENN BECK: YIKES
-
TAKE BACK THE SEATS
-
THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE JACKASS IN YOUR LIFE
three-time champs in meaningless awards
subscribe to ksk
ksk tees are here
January 13th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Where’s his karate gi?
January 13th, 2009 at 11:52 am
After “Homicide: Life on Seseame Street”, I can never think of Bert without bursting out into laughter ever again.
January 13th, 2009 at 11:55 am
I for one welcome our new Yinzer overlords.
January 13th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Still beats dipshit Ravens fans who try to call him Joe Cool. Like no other four-time Super Bowl-winning quarterback has claim to that one.
January 13th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Not pictured: Ed Reed as the ED-209, and Ray-Ray as Sgt. Murtaugh
January 13th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Wait a minute, are those housing projects in the backgrou—oh, silly me. I got tricked again by that purple camo! It’s so effective!
January 13th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Also an awesome QB nickname: Big Ben.
Like no other famously tall, sturdy building is called THAT.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
I’m looking forward to the Photoshop of Roethlisberger seated upon a My Little Pony wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Please. Knifey and Serrel Thugs are going down.
//Number six, one for the dick.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Ape, we’ve all heard about how reprehensible Ravens fans (and people from Baltimore) are. And you’re probably right. However, when it comes to the AFC Championship, we have to root for the lesser of two evils. Hope you understand.
/GO RAVENS!!!
January 13th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
I’m looking forward to the photoshop of Caveman and Ape slap-fighting each other over an extra ticket to the Iron and Wine show.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Eh, root for whoever you like. Once the “Ray-Ray is a clean man of God now” profiles run non-stop for two weeks prior to the Super Bowl, you may come to regret it.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Baltimore fans have the same football IQ as Vince Young.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I already regret it! I don’t like the Colts on many levels but can respect Tony Dungy. And he is clearly a good man wrapped in Christianity. Ray Ray….uhhh….not so much.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
@CC: I beg to disagree with your assertion that this Ben Rogratsname character is sturdily built….
January 13th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
I’m rooting for Godzilla to rise out of the Inner Harbor and take down the stadium at halftime.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Seriously, enough with all the “Dungy is such a good Christian, such a good man” bullshit. It’s trite and it’s annoying and the guy’s a homophobe who covers being an ignorant asshole with devout Christianity. He’s obviously no Stabby, but he’s not a fucking saint either.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Oh sure. Yep. A Baltimore/Arizona superbowl is what the world needs right now. (Although with NBC carrying the broadcast, watching Michaels and Madden try to put a shine on the turd might be hilarious…then again probably not.)
January 13th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
can we all agree that Snoopy is the original Joe Cool?
also, CC is a photoshopping machine today.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Big Ben’s head is exactly like the building. At the end of V for Vendetta.
HEADSPOT OWIE.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Go Steelers. I will never, never, never root for the Ravens.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
the biggest reason for me to root against the Ravens: Willis McGahee
January 13th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Does this make Big Ben Clarence Boddicker?
BITCHES LEAVE
January 13th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
RoboFlaccoCop on a unicorn? I’d buy that for a dollar!
January 13th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
/considers changing username to WhatWouldFlacco’sPurpleUnicornDo
January 13th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
The scariest thing about the economy is that an increasing number of unemployed males will now be sitting at home, drinking in excess, and beating their wives when they come home from their waitress jobs they took to try to just survive. In other words, the Steelers fan base is about to explode.
Go Joe!
January 13th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Throw in John Clayton as the guy that takes a bath in toxic waste and you’ve got something.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Does anyone have Bonnie Tyler running through their head right now?
Um, me neither.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Smurphette: True. Dungy’s level of bullshit is lesser on the shit scale, but still on the scale.
January 13th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Do I really have to root for one of these fucking teams? I’d much rather jump of the Verrazano Bridge than watch this game. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Well at least if the Ravens win that would cut deep into the hearts of all Yinzers since they think they own the rivalry, but then I would possibly be root for *gasp* the Eagles to defeat them in the Super Bowl???
GAAHHHHHHHH
/come on Cardinals, don’t fuck this up
January 13th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Flacco’s Unicorn HEYYYY!
January 13th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
@ Ape: Ooh, I’ll have to hear about Ray Lewis! Oh-no! I’ll take a few retrospectives of the murderer over:
Endless accolades to Polamalu’s hair.
Freaking Rooneys sucking on their cigar cock-surrogates.
One for the dick.
The 3-4 and all the fucktasters that “could ONLY succeed in a scheme like the STILLERS”.
The cool leadership of a head coach brought in to run a Tampa 2 and left with nothing better to do than look Omar Epp-ish on the sidelines as a figurehead.
Ben talking about the PIT offensive scheme and suddenly starting to go into Halo strategies in an interview after the copious amounts of nervous system damage.
Shrines being constructed in Korea to worship their new Hines-ian demi-god.
Towels.
I’ll take an unsincere felon or two over that barrage of douchery any day of the week!
January 13th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Yeah, GothRodgers, you’re right. It’s totally shitty when teams “have a personality” and fans “celebrate various aspects of that personality” to “heighten their enjoyment of the game.” I really wish people would just shut the fuck up, shoot themselves full of morphine, and watch the games with a lukewarm cup of tea already.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Or better yet: don’t watch the games at all. It’s so fucking douchey to care.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Can’t we all drop acid like in the IBM commercials and just feel the games?
January 13th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
“Let the eagle sooooaaarrrrr…”
/Ashcroft’d
January 13th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
i’m with the mrs. anyone who gives a shit about the rest of these playoffs can eat my asshole
January 13th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
@Mrs.: No, I love teams that have personalities and fans who celebrate them. That’s great. See, what I hate is the damn STEELERS personality. Big difference.
So the hating must continue I’m afraid…though I do believe I will take up your morphine suggestion.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Never fear, after this week we will have either McNabb or Warner to save us.
/Oh crap.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
I can’t wait to hear the —— ——’s excuses on Monday. And the hate, the beautiful , beautiful hate.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Let’s just skip the conference finals and Super Bowl and get on with the KSK Friday Draft. Those are so much more interesting than any of these four teams.
/can’t believe I just wrote that
//these teams make me want to kill a homeless vagrant
January 13th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Jeremy Shockey wants to know who your tattoo artist is.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Flacco must be a fond lover of the Glass Menagerie.
January 13th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
After much thought, I’m rooting for the Stealers to win the AFC, then get thoroughly jobbed by the refs in Tampa.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
“And Baby Flacco, we can’t help but wonder what mischief you’ll get into next”
January 13th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
God, the playoffs are sucking as much as college football sucked last year. Do I honestly have to root for the Ravens? Part of me wants to just so I don’t have Ray Lewis come after me with a shotgun, but the Seahawks fan in me can’t consciously root for the Steelers.
/is still bitter about Superbowl XL
January 13th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
A purple unicorn on a purple camo background seems JUST fucking gay enough for the Ravens.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
The Zubaz background really ties it all together.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
“//these teams make me want to kill a homeless vagrant”
There’s five of them on the Ravens’ roster.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
Is that a slat in his visor, or just the unibrow?
January 13th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
fuck you caveman and all you hating bastards. i am one of the people who hate all the teams like the patriots and colts and ravens and browns and bengals and giants and cowboys and bills and dolphins but why are the steelers being so hated on? because they’re good? you’re all rooting for a dude wit a fuckin unibrow and some fuckin jamoke coach. fuck john harbough
January 13th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I think Flacco is a dead ringer for retired Turkish soccer star Hakan Sukur, personally. http://www.flickr.com/photos/mmuussttaaffaa/1749518431/
January 13th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Where’s the computer spike thing in Flacco’s fist? Or did he cut it off and glue it to a regulat purple horse’s head to make him a Unicorn?
January 13th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
I love how all the fans bash each other saying the same thing: “your fans are fat, stupid, wife beating, fairweather assholes, while our fans are… well our fans are… our fans are fat, stupid, wife beating, fairweather assholes, but we have HEART!”
All of you go fuck yourselves. Seriously, like any one fanbase is more inherently douche-y than the next. All fanbases have assholes- deal with it
Oh, and: GO STEELERS!
January 13th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Dan: it’s all about proportions. And the Steelers fan base has an overly high rate of douche fans:total fans. Not saying all Steelers fans are fucktasters (I used to go out with one)(Steelers fan, not a fucktaster)(well, maybe she was) — just enough of them for me to root against PIT this weekend.
January 13th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Every time I see these photoshops I regret that I didn’t lure Flacco into privacy and wax the fuck out of his eyebrow during training camp. It would have lost me my job there, but it might have saved the internet far too many unfunny Seasame Street jokes.
January 13th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I can understand individual dislikes… it’s the overall bashing I don’t get. The blind hatred of people you’ve never me- I just don’t get it, haha. Oh well to each his own I suppose.
/says the guy who has posted stuff in his office about asshole Pats and Giants fans
//I don;t really hate them, it’s just to annoy the fraternity brothers I work with who happen to be those teams fans
January 13th, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Should be a great game. Steeelrs and Ravens played two very close games already this year and since both teams play great D, the game should stay close and exciting the whole way through. Sounds like drama enough for most folks to enjoy the show but, hey, if you need to rev up your pretend hate-on for the Stillers, then hate away.
Although, if you need to fake a good hate-on to enjoy a game that your hometown team isn’t playing in, then Knifey seems far more hateable than any Stiller. Accessory to murder is pretty loathsome in my book. Flacco. Ed Reed. Derrick Mason. Todd Heap. Great players. Ray Lewis? Piece of shit.
January 13th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
If everyone would just agree to like all of the teams I like, none of this animosity would be necessary.
January 13th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
All fanbases have assholes
Yeah, but theirs stink more.
January 13th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Only a Steelers, Cowboys, or Pats fan could ever believe that all fan bases are equally douchey. Although, Steeler fans, you’re still definitely a million times better than Pats fans, of course.
January 13th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Get behind these Ravens fans, you don’t want to be in front of them.
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/retard-ravens-fans1.jpg
January 13th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
All the Children were sayin’:
We Don’t Need Another Hero
Fuck! I mixed my action movie metaphors.
January 13th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
The only thing I don’t get is why Steeler Fans are the only ones who will wear their jerseys at the airport…I’ve been to almost every airport in the States and you see business people, families and Steeler fans (and yes they’re all ugly, did that even need to be added?)
January 14th, 2009 at 12:01 am
Hey Joe!!! Where you goin’ wit that gun in ya hand… Hey Joe!!
///Hendrix
January 14th, 2009 at 1:47 am
Hatred of Steeler and Raven fans aside, am I the only one who is excited about the ACTUAL game itself? It’ll be two teams beating the shit out of each other, which I’m all for. As long as there is blood I don’t care who wins.
January 14th, 2009 at 8:38 am
GO STEELERS!!!!!!!