Philip Rivers Would Like to Read You a Bedtime Story
Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.
Tags: captain caveman, I will never fall asleep ever again, marmalard, nightmare fuel, Ufford Photoshops, Yes the text is from the Onion
![[badge]](http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/themes/default/images/100121_FOXmsnBadge_200x50.gif)
January 8th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Dude…..maybe you should, you know, talk to somebody about the PTSD. Just a suggestion.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
WTF?
January 8th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Way to rip-off the Onion dude.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
HAHAHA. I don’t know why but those mouth eyes cracked me up.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
A combination of the Onion and the Corinthian, nice. Yes I read satrical newspapers and The Sandman. If you don’t know, ya betta ax somebody.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
@PK – It’s not a rip-off; it’s an homage. I figure that’s well-known enough to not have to say that.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
IT’S EVIL LET’S BURN IT
January 8th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
@CC: They don’t get The Onion in the elite flyer’s Diplomat Lounge. Honest mistake.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
No way I’m betting on the Steelers now.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
TU STULTUS EST
January 8th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
There goes any chance of sleep tonight
January 8th, 2009 at 2:06 pm
YA BETTER BITE SOMEBODAAAY!
January 8th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
ya bettttaaa haunt somebodaaayyyyy
January 8th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
There isn’t enough bleach in the world to get that image out of my eyes.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
You better ask somebodayyy…. for the name of a good psychiatrist.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
oh dear god
January 8th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
After finally awaking from a fever induced haze, THIS is not what I needed at this juncture.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
(door that leads to my nightmares flies open)
January 8th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
any pittsburgh defender that sees this is FUCKED
January 8th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
I’ve seen some truly fucked things on this site but this takes the cake by and large.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Get I get this guy’s number? Finally, a fully pleasurable teabag!
January 8th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
@David Frost – Learn how to use the English language, you piece of shit. I’LL KILL YOU!
I love you.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Didn’t I see this in the background of Event Horizon, or the Cell, or some other f’ed up thing.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I always thought Marmalard talked out of his ass.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
That’s disturbing.
I’m surprised you didn’t switch the ears for more mouths. After all, Marmalard don’t hear, he speaks and disses Cutlerfucker!
January 8th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
I just threw up.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
Suffering, sweet suffering.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
January 8th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Eyejobs for everyone!
January 8th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
What part of your sick demented mind prompted you to create this beast
January 8th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
This is the worst thing in the history of the internet. I haven’t felt this awful since the first time I saw larvae titty.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
i call the eye one bitey
January 8th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
@Ray Handley’s Bitter Tears: I’m pretty sure this image made an appearance somewhere in the second hour of Jacob’s Ladder.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Good lord….it’s under the bed.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I wonder if when he talks all 3 mouths move and if there is a really cool echo? You betta ask somebodayayay!
January 8th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
It was freaky seeing this guy around campus, I tell ya
January 8th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
As fate would have it, Merriman is secretly a triceracocks.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
I laugh to keep from screaming. Seriously, holy shit.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
he looks vaguely like the cover of that awful ‘one missed call’ remake.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
“A nightmare created to be the darkness, and the fear of darkness in every human heart. A black mirror, made to reflect everything about itself that humanity will not confront.” HUMANITY BETTA ASK SOMEBODAAAAAAY!
January 8th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
HUHHUHUH? WHATWHATWHAT? FUCKYOUYOUYOU!
/See you in ten years, erection!
January 8th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
That’s just God fucking around again.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Oh just what the fuck.
Just what the FUCK.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Didn’t I have a skateboard from Powell Peralta with that image on it in like 1986? Yep, I was the coolest.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
/See you in ten years, erection!
Seriously, I think my penis is now an innie.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Isn’t that picture one of Dante’s nine circles of hell?
January 8th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
@Slothrop
I do believe you are referring to the old Santa Cruz “screaming hand” deck design, no?
January 8th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Dan V’s comment was eloquent in its simplicity and I think perfectly captures the zeitgeist. Or, SWEET JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
January 8th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
His line is going to have to hold blocks a lot longer now, but on the plus side he can talk three times as much shit to emo quarterbacks.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
January 8th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
BEN SHOOT CENOBITE
PEW PEW PEW !!
January 8th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
Please tell me someone is watching ESPN right now. The show Being Tom Brady is on. Absolutely hilarious. NESPN at its best.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Far and above the most disturbing thing I’ve seen on the IntraWebs in months. I can hear door to the dentist’s office flying open as I type.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Eh. That picture isn’t nearly as frightening as the latest picture of Drew. That face will haunt my dreams forever!
January 8th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
I am not going to be able to sleep for weeks!
January 8th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
So, what I’m understanding is that Phillip Rivers can now blow 3 men at the same time?
January 8th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
I just threw up in my eyes a little bit.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
Lightweights.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
I think Marmalard may need to borrow LT’s visor.
January 8th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
I was so enjoying my lunch, too.
January 8th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
(door to hell flies open)
January 8th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
I see this and I think: eyefucking. Does that a serial killer me make?
January 8th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Sweet Evil Jesus, I will never be right again. That image will forever be etched in my memory.
January 8th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Awesome, Marmalard mixed with Sandman’s Corinthian. Is he going to be eating the eyeballs of LaToeinjury?!?
January 8th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
2 Girls, 1 Cup has been replaced by 3 Mouths, 1 Face as the most disturbing thing on the internet.
January 8th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Doug Gottlieb just gave this site a shout-out on the ESPN college basketball game
January 8th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
FUCK. Mom?! Mom?! Holy fucking shit I will never be OK again.
January 8th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Greatest. Pic. Ever.
January 8th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
can’t sleep Marmalard will eat me can’t sleep Marmalard will eat me can’t sleep Marmalard will eat me can’t sleep Marmalard will eat me can’t sleep Marmalard will eat me can’t sleep Marmalard will eat me can’t sleep Marmalard will eat me
January 8th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
why do you hate us, CC?
January 8th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
What the fuck? It’s worse than how I imagined Medusa.
January 8th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Again, yea, what Foxxy said! I need to get sleep tonight dammit!
January 8th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Needs Joker makeup for full effect.
*shudder*
January 8th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
He seems happy. Good for him
January 8th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Okay, that’s just fucking creeeepy. Now I won’t be sleeping either.
There has to be meds for that.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:08 am
Holy living fuck, that is creepy.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:12 am
say hello to my new gmail picture
January 9th, 2009 at 1:28 am
If you hold the monitor close to your ear, you can hear Ricardo Montalban talking about leather.
January 9th, 2009 at 3:39 am
I’ve spent most of the night debating sending this to all my friends or unleashing a virus that would crash KSK forever. Horrors like this beget no middle ground.
January 9th, 2009 at 9:50 am
This reminded me of that movie Event Horizon. Thanks for fucking up my sleep this weekend dude.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Nothing Ive ever seen has forced me to post here.
But JESUS!!!!!!!
Dont EVER put that shit on again!!!!!!!
January 9th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
:(
January 9th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Everyone, Drew, Ape, Unsilent, I am horrified. Please never post anything like that ever ever again.
January 10th, 2009 at 3:37 am
Cheist, you’ve never heard of Something Awful? This kind of mouth-shop is mandatory over there. It’s a lot more scary when Mother Theresa is the source image!