OW-UH ATHLETES WILL MAKE THE GREATEST SPAHTS RUSHMO-AH
You facks have nevah seen greatness like Bahstahn has seen greatness! Ow-uh spahts Mount Rushmo-ah will be the greatest fackin’ monument this cahntree has evah seen. Bettah than Bunkah Hill! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
Tags: captain caveman, The next load of horseshit from ESPN, Tommy from Quinzee, Ufford Photoshops
January 16th, 2009 at 12:40 am
Bill Simmons is building a scale replica in his backyard as we speak.
January 16th, 2009 at 12:41 am
Oh, and in double checking the pics I actually googled it as “Wes Welkah”. After 2 years its its jammed in my brain.
January 16th, 2009 at 12:43 am
Welkah’s got that creepy rapist look about him. Who the fuck is the last person on the right?
January 16th, 2009 at 1:05 am
Wes Welker: Kid of Granite?
January 16th, 2009 at 1:09 am
@devang – that would Theo Epstein, THE GREATEST RED SAWK EVAH
January 16th, 2009 at 1:13 am
You mean Tawmmy has nothing to say about Jim Rice finally getting in the Hall? Shocking.
January 16th, 2009 at 1:25 am
Ape: Tawmmy misses the the haht of the Sawx Lineup, MannRam. Isn’t one Dahkie enough?
January 16th, 2009 at 1:27 am
Oh, and why isn’t a fifth face up the-ah fah Pahdroyah?1!!1? You facks need to get wid da times!
/punches Portuguese immigrant from Fall River in the face
January 16th, 2009 at 1:29 am
Geez, ever since you guys unleashed Tawmmy last year, the voice I use in my head for him is any of the criminals from “The Departed”.
January 16th, 2009 at 1:32 am
That’s rather the point. But it’s gotta be Fitzy’s voice. He’s easily the angriest of the mobsters.
Anyway, who’s the guy between tawmmy and welkah?
January 16th, 2009 at 1:39 am
Larry Bird
January 16th, 2009 at 1:52 am
It looks like they’ve all got afros. Dahkie hay.
January 16th, 2009 at 2:04 am
Huh. For some reason, I always pictured Larry Bird as looking like Steve Nash’s retarded cousin.
Sure, he looks like someone’s retarded cousin anyway, but Nash ain’t it.
January 16th, 2009 at 2:08 am
I recently saw one of these for the Stillers, too.
I think it had Polamalu, Ben, Cowher, and… I forget the last one, Bettis maybe.
January 16th, 2009 at 2:13 am
@ H Cuz
No smirre time?
January 16th, 2009 at 2:37 am
I’ve had many, many of those list-based “…it’s the Mount Rushmore of…” conversations on all kinds of topics. For some reason, they all happen when I’m really high, drunk and feeling especially (though completely and undeservedly) intelligent. Following that precedent…
My Mt. Rushmore of SI Swimsuit Issue Models: Christie Brinkley, Cindy Crawford, Elle MacPherson and Carol Alt.
Bonus Pending Crazy Horse Monument: Kathy Ireland
January 16th, 2009 at 2:45 am
@ Gino Tourettsa
Marisa Miller is feeling left out.
January 16th, 2009 at 3:37 am
Which one’s Bill Buckner?
January 16th, 2009 at 3:49 am
Hard to believe Papelbon wouldn’t be on there
January 16th, 2009 at 3:53 am
How ’bout photoshopping a shirt on to Tommy, already?
January 16th, 2009 at 3:56 am
@ Folksy Racism
I considered many worthy SI Swimsuit Issue ladies (Marisa Miller included) for my Sexy Mt. Rushmore, but I put longevity-of-hotness chiefly in mind when deciding. Christie, Cindy, Elle, Carol and Kathy are stone foxes even to this day, some 20 years after their respective hey-days. I’m also saying this as a child of the pre-internet ’80s, when possessing the SI Swimsuit Issue gave you a distinct trading advantage among the other adolescent boys. Skin mags and illegal fireworks were always heavy currency.
January 16th, 2009 at 3:59 am
That looked like Brady, Brady, Brady, and WELKAH!! THE GREASTEST RECEIVER EVAHH! NO ONE DENIES THIS!
January 16th, 2009 at 4:54 am
No seriously, how the fuck do you leave off Pedroia? HE’S MORE OF A WHITE HOPE THAN WELKAH!
January 16th, 2009 at 7:34 am
YOOOOUUUUKKKKK!
January 16th, 2009 at 7:35 am
Oh, and why does that picture of Welkah appear to have a milk mustache?
(and I thought his porn star mustache was creepy enough….)
January 16th, 2009 at 7:37 am
for real it would probably be Tom Brady, Bill Russell, Bobby Orr, and Ted Williams.
January 16th, 2009 at 8:00 am
Epstein definitely wouldn’t be on there. It would either be Pedroia or Bobby Orr–on that note, if you think Pats fans are racists, I urge you to attend a Bruins game. You would walk out of the rink thinking that Gillette stadium was like the U.N.
January 16th, 2009 at 8:37 am
While we love Theo and Bill Russell, they wouldn’t qualify for owah Mount Rushmoah. Theo is a Jew and Russell a dahkie. Bobby Owah would be the fawth. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
January 16th, 2009 at 8:41 am
@Kim Hong: The Bruins don’t count. Everyone knows dahkies don’t watch hockey.
January 16th, 2009 at 8:44 am
uff, awesome photoshop fun again. When I saw at Awful Ann the WWL was going “there” I knew I was out for the next month. I failed to remember the fun it could bring here!
January 16th, 2009 at 8:52 am
Epstein definitely wouldn’t be on there. It would either be Pedroia or Bobby Orr–on that note, if you think Pats fans are racists, I urge you to attend a Bruins game. You would walk out of the rink thinking that Gillette stadium was like the U.N.
This is so true, especially compared to every other NHL game I have attended in other cities, where the crowd was at least .0017% African-American.
January 16th, 2009 at 9:07 am
“I heard the people up there in Boston were talking about how they should trade (Tom) Brady,” Polamalu said. “We’ll take him. He’s the greatest quarterback to ever play the game”. NO ONE DENIES THIS!
January 16th, 2009 at 9:16 am
Why in the hell is Jerry O’Connell on it? Did he play for Boston College or something?
January 16th, 2009 at 9:17 am
And by Jerry O’Connell I mean Chris O’Donnell.
January 16th, 2009 at 9:21 am
Russell, Big Papi, Moss and Garnett would be owah dahkie side of the greatest spahts rushmo-ah! NO ONE DENIES THIS!!
January 16th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Technically Pedroia’s not white but Portuguese. He’s got some Vasco da Gama in him.
January 16th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Oh New Englanders! You know they are going to come out in full force to vote because they still feel slighted over the fact that they lost the coveted “Title Town” crown. The sad thing is, I have friends from Boston who still bitch about losing to Valdosta……what a bunch of douchebags
January 16th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Fack. Will that picture of Tawwmy ever not make me laugh? He is on the Rushmore of douche bag fans.
January 16th, 2009 at 10:06 am
What about RED AWAH-BACK! Yeah he’s a Jew, but he’s OW-AH Jew! Celtics Nation is-ah back you fackahs.
January 16th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Pig Face Joe,
You call your friends douchebags? What does that make you?
January 16th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
how bout mount dahk-moah?
antowain smith, len bias, manny, and mo vaughn
January 16th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Oh, I would say I am a douchebag. It takes one to no one I suppose haha…..slightly less than them though, since I am not from Boston nor claim to be a Patriots “fan”
January 16th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
epstein looks like fred savage right there.
January 16th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
@Gino,
I’m not sure any SI Swimsuit Model Mt. Rushmore is complete without a Cheryl Tiegs mention…
Bahstahn Rushmorah has Bobby Orr-ah or Ray Borque-ah… But what abaht Doug Flutie?
January 16th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Looks like Pete Sampras on right.
January 16th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
The trick, if there is such a thing, is variety. Make certain you collect a steady and varied collection of links
January 17th, 2009 at 7:43 am
@animal mother: what abawt Dave Raaba-ahts? He stole us the base that beat the Yanks, I saw it. It was mahhhh-jical.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Very interesting post you wrote. Glad I have stumbled upon it. Cheers!