O HELLZ NUH
Yo yo. Pacman be chasin’ dat blinky puzzy wen Mista Yeehawman cum 2 him an say shit b off. SHIT B OFF.
Pacman ain down wid it.
Pacman say 4wha? Why u gon cutt Pac loos? He say cuzz Bob Ley say Pacman orda tha giznatch on dem suckazz muthaphuckkas down da puzzy club. Bob Ley a bitch.
BUT DEY DUNNO DA TROOF! Pacman say ain hizz heata! Dat nina cum frum hiz shawty. Shawty need ta stay strapped 2! Pacman Jr. b mindin’ Daddy’s Exalade! BULEEZ DAT! Pacman ain gon hirt nobody. Pacman jus wan SHINE! Pacman jus wan tak dat azz an mak it leek. Pacman down wid it. Pacman gon mak dat puzzy bleed.
Pacman ain use no jock. He stay in da club. PACMAN SAY DERE B LUV N DIS CLUB! He ain EVAH gon leave. He luv da drippn puzzy 2 much! Culd punch dat bloomn onion booty ALL FUKKIN DAY! He gon bust dat puzzy wid open. Pacman ain gilty of SHYT! ‘Cept 4 luvvin’ dat azz.
SO WHY U GON LEEV PACMAN DOWN LIK DAT?
Pacman gon sue. Oh, U don’t thank Pacman sue? Pacman gotz a loiyer, BITCH. Mista Goldbergowitz or sum shyt. AND HE GON BROOS DAT AZZ.
CHUH CHUH.
Pacman gon win. Pacman tak dat shyt to Judge Keene on Divorce Court. NOBODY GON PLAY WID JUDGE KEENE!
Den Pacman gon shine. TROOF. Pacman gon shine. Pacman gon slapp dat puzzy till da milk cum out. Then Pacman gon drank. O HE GON DRANK. Pacman say ain no drank drank till he put a hurtin’ on dat mouf wid dat dikk. Den Pacman turn inta Dikkman, nuh wha I meen? Pacman gon drank, den he gon bust dem cherreezz. Gon mak dat board lite up. Gon snak dat toilet. Gon cum n run. Gon fukk dem hair xtensions rite off!
UUUNNNNHHHHHH!
U don’t lik it? Pacman gon roll by yo hous an go Trainin Day on yo azz. HAPPY BIRFDAY BITCH.
Pacman down wid it.
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, everything I know about ebonics i learned from media takeout, make your own ebonics, Pacman Jones
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January 8th, 2009 at 10:10 am
BULEEZ DAT!
January 8th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Chu chuh, indeed, Adam…chuh chuh, indeed.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:12 am
My favorite quote from the story:
“If I beat myself up, who will take care of me?” Jones said, according to the report. “Football means a lot to me, but it’s not everything. It’s not like I’m taking it pretty good. I love me some me.”
Wow. Just wow.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Bob Ley is, in fact, a bitch.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:23 am
When asked for a statement, Wade Phillips said “Pork Gravy”, “Uh, I mean no comment, Dammit”.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:26 am
O HE GON SUE…OH LORD IZ GONNA SUE…
January 8th, 2009 at 10:26 am
While working on a field service crew in a foundry, when asked about some issue or another, I said, “Foqu dat sheet, mon.” It became our saying for everything. We wrote it on support beams as we finished wiring the crane motors. Naturally, we got in trouble. My only effort at semi-ebonics/ska.
/Yes, I know: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEzGIuY7kw
January 8th, 2009 at 10:29 am
The only sad part of this story: no more Pacman in the middle of Wade and Jerry story-time.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:30 am
I like how smart I feel after reading this. I think I am going to write a really cool book or something now.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Here’s praying that someone is stupid enough to give Pacman a 10,876th chance. It’s just not fair that we be deprived of both Michael Vick and Pacman episodes.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:32 am
It’s entirely possible that he never ordered any shooting, and that his gunmen just badly misinterpreted his descriptions of all the puzzy he was gon’ bust wid open.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Pacman, you’re the Spalding Gray of gibberish.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:36 am
CHUH CHUH! I think I hear Al Davis’ check book opening as I write this.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Don’t worry Packie, you still “shine” in my book.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Dan Snyder cannot believe his luck
January 8th, 2009 at 10:40 am
So I take it that its the last time we’ll be hearing from Pacman? Or should we presume that he will take part in a ‘letters from prison’ skit with Ronnie Mexico??
January 8th, 2009 at 10:40 am
Second-favorite KSK headline ever (after O HELLZ YEZ).
January 8th, 2009 at 10:41 am
You know, I never saw this coming – especially right when they showed his draft party prominently featuring a stripper pole.
/Not kidding
January 8th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Pacman, you’re the Spalding Gray of gibberish.
So instead of regular suicide, it’s career suicide?
January 8th, 2009 at 10:57 am
“Gon Snak dat toilet”.
Yes. God dammit YES, Drew!
January 8th, 2009 at 11:10 am
Hopefully he gets exiled from the NFL and has to turn to the CFL to rehabilitate himself. He’d love Montreal. They have more strip clubs than Dallas or Atlanta plus Canada is a lot looser on the No Hands policy (ie: you can fuck them)
What confuses me is this is two separate occasions where Pacman put out a hit while at a strip club. Why do naked women make him so angry? Strip clubs are a happy place.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:16 am
da puzzy club…
Best penis nickname ever.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Pac will be Pac.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:17 am
At this point the signature Pacman gon drank/oh he gon drank/buleev dat is getting a tad forced, and I’m 100% okay with that. In fact, there hasn’t been a new KSK t shirt in a while…
January 8th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Pacman only gets angry at the strip clubs that are anything less than full nude/full bar. I know I do.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Ah so it’s Media Takeout huh? After reading the comments on that site, I feel like I need to listen to NPR to get some of the points back on my IQ.
Pacman gon drank, den he gon bust dem cherreezz. Gon mak dat board lite up. Gon snak dat toilet. Gon cum n run. Gon fukk dem hair xtensions rite off!
Wow. You’ve really outdone yourself on this one.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:25 am
abababababababab-woooooooo…..game over
January 8th, 2009 at 11:27 am
I think instead of buying jerseys of players I like, I’m going to start a disgraced/disgraceful collection and get guys like: Pacman, OJ, Buress, Ocho Cinco (because that shit is just ridiculous), etc…
January 8th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Oh and I know Ray Lewis is a murderer, but I refuse to get a Baltimore jersey…
January 8th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Which one gives me more of a headache to decipher?
Pac-Man postz?
or Hines Wold?
January 8th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Murray Goldbergawitz is my uncle.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:47 am
RE TurleyGirlie Says:
My favorite quote from the story: “If I beat myself up, who will take care of me?” Jones said, according to the report. “Football means a lot to me, but it’s not everything. It’s not like I’m taking it pretty good. I love me some me.”
I enjoyed that, too. It’s pretty bad when the shit KSK makes up sounds more intelligent than the shit a player actually says.
I wonder when Adam will realize that maybe he has some psychological problems? When he’s in prison the next cell over from Michael Vick?
January 8th, 2009 at 11:52 am
As a parting gift, TO is going to give him a whole box of “iFired” T-shirts.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:55 am
@Dan – too bad the NoFunLeague won’t sell Oookie or Mexico shirts.
@Chris January 8th, 2009 at 11:10 am: If he’s banned from NFL he can’t play CFL – it’s the “Ricky Williams Rule”. If he’s just not picked up by NFL teams then he can play (like Lawrence Phillips – another jersey for Dan). Can Pacman speak French ebonics?
January 8th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
“loiyer, BITCH”
thank you, Drew. when i get bored with “foxxy” this will be my new commenter name.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I’m collecting enough material for a whole “Wall of NFL Shame!”
January 8th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
He gon’ stan by dat road wit dat sign till dem drivers makes it rain, BUH-LEEE DAT!
January 9th, 2009 at 1:13 am
no more football pac…..time for ya to get back top the stove with a four and a split! (translation: time to revert to purchasing four and a half ounces of cocaine and cooking it into crack cocaine to sell because you no longer have a job)
January 9th, 2009 at 1:14 am
i tried to get a titans pacman jersey after the LV shooting,but they were already getting yanked!