
Here’s your 2009 Hall of Fame class:
Bob Hayes
Bruce Smith
Randall McDaniel (yay)
Derrick Thomas
Rod Woodson
Ralph Wilson
I have no qualms with any of the above men making the Hall, and am indeed delighted Randall McDaniel got in (Take that, Strokey Zimmerman!). But you see the gentleman in the photo above? That’s Cris Carter, who was only the second best receiver in NFL history. And yet again, the Hall sees fit to deny him induction. Hey Hall Of Fame Committee, I hope you all fucking die of kidney failure. I hope your renal systems slowly fail, turning your urine black and requiring you to endure painful daily sessions of dialysis. And I hope a matching donor is found just a hair too late, so you die slowly on a hospital gurney just as the paramedics are jumping out of the helicopter with an Igloo cooler carrying your precious, vital organs. That way, you think salvation is close at hand, only to have it cruelly wrested from your big fat grasp. YOU FUCKING IGNORANT STUPID FUCKS.
CRIS CARTER HAD THE BEST HANDS IN NFL HISTORY AND CAUGHT SIDELINE PASSES LIKE NO OTHER. We’re not talking about Art Monk here. We’re talking about someone who was fucking GOOD. If you fucks can’t see fit to induct him, THEN YOU KNOW FUCK ALL ABOUT FOOTBALL AND DESERVE TO BE HUNG ON A MEATHOOK DIPPED IN WOLF AIDS. That means you King, and Wilbon, and all you other fucks. I bet you all spend 20 hours a day drinking out of your own toilets. “Oh, my shit! It’s so good! I’m so amazing! MY POOP IS A HAVEN OF CORN AND FOOTBALL ACUMEN.”
Put that on one of your fucking charts. DIE.


Come on now…Cris Carter has a great case for induction, but there is no need to hate on Art Monk. Hating on Monk makes this author appear to be the one lacking football knowledge, not the HOF voters.
Andre Reed over Carter? Please. Give Carter Jim Kelly in his prime. Of course the No Super Bowls thing hurts him, but that’s not the only way you evaluate a career. It’s one facet of everything. Consider:
#3 in career receptions?
#7 in yardage?
#4 in TDs?
6 straight 1000 yard seasons?
The most annoying TD and First-down dance in history?
The greatest sideline hand/footwork combo in history?
Taught Randy Moss the ropes (maybe….c’mon, if he loses credit for “choking” he gets some credit for turning Randy into Randy)
Hall of Mutha Fuckin Famer. Sorry Packer fans, but he’ll be in soon. I know you hate the guy. Just think, if Favre had retired all those years ago you could be celebrating his Hall of Fame induction now.
Chirs Carter is a fag but since Art Monk got in, apparently they’ll take anyone. So why not Carter?
Cris Carter will get in before he dies. Worthless rant is worthless.
“Irvin seems to forget that Woodson came back from career ending injuries at the beginning of the 11995 season to lead the Steelers to the Super Bowl”
Bajingohound… I didn’t know you could come back from career ending injuries
T.O. has the best hands ever!
And yet, not one mention of Randle not getting it.
Seems like a worthy class to me.
/eats dinner and revels in HOF bile
Never knew there were so many latent Vike fans on this site…
DT’s in–finally. I’m golden.
Goddamn, last year’s HOF ceremony was like a goddamn Redskins circlejerk. Those motherfuckers boo’d John Elway, JOHN MOTHERFUCKING ELWAY. They also would’ve drank themselves retarded at the NFL-sponsored tailgate party as well, but they all got shut out and we got the Redskins cheerleaders wandering around as entertainment. Ah, karma.
What a bunch of blubbering whiny crybaby spazz dorkoid fanboy pussies you are.
If Carter was so great, how come he never led his team to a Super Bowl? Not that the never won one , but he never even got his team to one. Carter ALWAYS chokes in the big games. Where the fuck was he in NFC Championship game that the Vikings lost to the Falcons? Where the fuck was he in the NFC Championship game the Vikings lost to the Giants? If he was so flantabulous as all of you fanboy losers are shrieking and farting he would have taken the Vikings on his shoulders and carried them to victory not just in those games, but in the Super Bowl that followed.
But he didn’t.
As for Rod Woodson, uber class douche Michael Irvin is proving once again that, well, he’s an uber class douche, calling out Woodson as soft. Irvin seems to forget that Woodson came back from career ending injuries at the beginning of the 11995 season to lead the Steelers to the Super Bowl . Compare this with irvin who faked paralysis when hit hard by the Eagles simply so he could be carried off the field and thus garner sympathy for his drug addicted ass. Irvin is scum just like all of the other psoters here.
Well, in a couple of years we’ll be having the same argument about Fitzgerald and Rice. Fitzy already has the most catches in his 1st 6 seasons than any other receiver. Next to Carter, he’s got the best hands I’ve ever seen.
Oh, and fuck Chelsea.
/realizes it’s Superbowl Sunday, but is watching the Liverpool Chelsea match.
Since Peter King has a vote, you still act surprised that they could fuck up the voting? Does Cris Carter work the earth? No. Then fuck him. Next! Do I save Shannon Sharpe’s text messages for 12 years? No. Then fuck him. Next!
all this argument over who is the second best receiver ever. glad to see that NO ONE DENIES the prowess of the great clyde duncan.
I do not like Cris Carter.
Carter wasn’t one of the best all time… he’s like Rafael Palmeiro, his numbers stacked up because of tenure and not because of greatness.
plus he was a Viking, fuck the Vikings
Your a GM and starting a team. You can pick any 3 wide recievers in the history of football. Is Caterpillar Carter one of your picks? I’d take Jerry Rice, Randy Moss and Paul Warfield.
Thanks, PBHawks for bringing up that fuck Irvin. Yeah, Carter burned my guys but it was always legit. Fucking Irvin made a HoF career out of tuning zebras into asses. King of the No Call. I got to watch that pushing off shit twice a year, not including playoffs. Fucker.
the world is more fun when people have stuff to hate
To offer the defense, a slant pass can be thrown by or received by any pro caliber player. The Patriots make a living off of it. Brady throws directly over the center to the crossing receiver who makes the cut and adds the yards after the catch. I am in no way saying Jerry Rice wasn’t a great receiver. He was. He worked in the original West Coast Offense that created plays specifically for Rice and the crossing pattern with the subsequent YAC. He is a fantastical, wonderful, receiving man. But..
If you need a first down in the last two minutes of the game on fourth and 8, if you need a touchdown in the last 30 seconds of the game? I’m taking Carter.
Every time.
/Getting my #80 Vikings jersey dry cleaned.
//I ain’t even joking
Amen! Thank you for reminding me exactly how much you huys love this game. The jokes are great, but it’s nice to be reminded every once and a while that the jokes come from a love of the game.
@GothRodgers and Spectacular Sam: Wait, in one day I find TWO Packer fans who are rational and don’t spend their lives sucking Brett Favre’s dick? This may be the sixth sign of the apocalypse…
I think Andre Reed and Carter should get in. If you finish your playing days that far up the list for receptions and yards and TD’s, who cares who comes after you, maybe they deserve to get in too.
I didn’t think it could happen, but the football HoF voters are officially gayer than the baseball HoF voters.
I feel the same way about the Hall of Fame Committee once again overlooking Bernie Kosar. The man invented the fake spike play, people! He revoloutionized the game and still he’s denied his place in Canton!
It’s karma’s way of saying STOP FUCKING SAYING NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE ALL THE FUCKING TIME WHEN YOU EASILY SAY N.F.L. YOU DICKSMACK.
/he couldn’t hold Irvin’s sweaty jockstrap
//maybe he’ll miss out on the Hall by one vote in his last year of eligibility
Seeing as how Cris Carter was one of the triumvirate of cockwallets who fucked over a SB-caliber Dolphins squad in 2002 (the other two being Dave Wannstedt and Ray Lucas), I hope he falls into a pit of spikes and explodes instantly Mega Man-style. Still, he deserves to get in eventually.
Also, KOOCH GOT SCREWED AGAIN. FUCKING BULLSHIT.
More Raymond Berry goodness:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/football/nfl/04/22/best.game.ever0428/index.html
I might think about him tonight while my girlfriend blows me.
@Juice Springsteen
i like the quota system,if not merely for the fact that it gives people shit to argue about. and if you start letting in as many in the first year of eligibility,you would eventually run out of players that are waiting and the hall of fame would get watered down with players that arent necessarily deserving.but yea,i do agree that the cris carter snub is bullshit,almost as much bullshit as the vote of sportswriters being the determining factor of induction with former athletes having no say so whatsoever
I’m a Ravens-rooting Colts rememberer…and I’m nowhere near to thinking Raymond Berry is the greatest of all time. Possibly the hardest working of all time, maybe the 2nd hardest behind Rice…but you can stuff that Don Hutson shit. Berry invented the position. I men, Jesus Cocksucking Christ, they made a “How Stuff Works” page for him:
http://www.howstuffworks.com/raymond-berry-at.htm
@yeah right: put Carter 2nd or 200th all time, I don’t give a fuck. But to suggest that anyone EVER was better than Rice is fucking INSANE. If Hutson defined the position, Rice redefined it. It’s his now.
carter will get in, but he’ll have to wait a year or two cause he was an asshole. seems fair to me.
I think I’m going to be an angry drunk tonight because of this.
So now we know who the new Art Monk of HOF snubs is.
the “class” needs more Sharpe
Actually, the all-time worst HoF is the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. Every fucking doo-wop group that ever existed is in there, but no Kiss, no Stooges, no Doobies, no Alice Cooper, no T-Rex, no Neil Diamond, no Carole King…
…but Bonnie Raitt’s in there. Yeesh. No wonder Johnny Rotten told them to go fuck themselves.
@Porky1
I’m a huge Ryno fan… but fucking A, how Whitaker and Trammell get screwed year in/year out is fucking embarrassing.
I didn’t realize Reed still isn’t in… there’s a guy who was great who’s got the stink of Scott Norwood all over him. Reed before Carter.
Blogkakke tomorrow? Anyone? Anywhere?
Halls of Fame are mostly jokes. There are worse things than Sharpe and Carter not getting in (though one would assume being top 5 all-time at one’s position should be automatic…) Richard Dent keeps getting screwed. Dominique Wilkins didn’t get in on his first NBA Hall of Fame ballot. Lou Whitaker has roughly the same stats as Ryne Sandberg, but since he didn’t play for the world’s most “lovable losers” he (and his World Series ring) gets snubbed and Sandberg practically got railroaded into the Hall (if Roberto Alomar doesn’t get in first ballot the voters are out and out racist crackers.)
Sorry about the baseball talk. Bad habit.
How many votes did Phil McConkey get?
@BajingoHound
HAHA He played for the Vikings….of course he never won a Super Bowl!
I’m not sure you’re going to find any Colts fans to stick up for Raymond Berry, much less as the GOAT. Mainly because the only Colts fans that remember Raymond Berry root for the Ravens.
Jerry Rice has reached that place in the sports pantheon where people have to seriously ask “Is it possible for anyone to be better, ever?” I mean, Marvin Harrison has come closest. He’s had a Hall of Fame QB and a pass-oriented offense for almost his whole career, and he’d still need another 5-8 seasons to even come close.
Jerry Rice was just so good for so long, that breaking his records is theoretical, rather than a real possibility.
Also, Cris Carter was a dick.
Carter’s an asshole, sure, but the guy was a fucking beast. And he didn’t have otherwordly size or speed either, which makes it all the more impressive.
And I’m glad you said he had the best hands ever, because I think it’s fair to say that Fitty has surpassed him in that region.
Carter was great at choking dick in big games, which is why those Vikings teams never made it to the big game. Fuck Carter.
I thikn the most retarded thing about HoFs is they all adopt this defacto bullshit quota system. Baseball has only let in 2 per year for a while, Football seems like 5-6, and I think the Hockey Hall actually has either a 4 or 5-person limit written into its bylaws. They are If there are a bunch of worthy eligible in a given year, let them the fuck in! The Hall of Fame is supposed to be about merit, so isn’t the whole situation of having to make locks like Cris Carter “wait their turn” while other guys who have been waiting longer get in run counter to a meritocracy? Carter’s probably going to have to wait like Jim Rice did because he didn’t try to inratiate himself with reporters. It’s crap.
/will rant like Drew if Curtis Martin doesn’t get in 2 years from now.
Carter is a great receiver but he gets distracted by spinning balls. You spin a football on the ground and you could pretty much rob the man blind.
oh, one more thing:
@yeah, right — eat a cup of sugar and die. ditto what Rodgers Neighborhood said on the Rice manliness issue
jesus, Art Monk fangirls – read the fucking tags before you start bitching
and, agree re:Carter. for a change have no bitch about who was inducted. good choices — i remember all of those gentlement well. but then again i don’t really know who was eligible and missed out
If it took Bullet Bob Hayes 30 fucking years, you just put your panties back on wait for Carter. Yes, he deserves Canton, but so does Richard Dent and Claude Humphrey, and they’re not in yet, either.
Yes, I’m a Bear fan, why do you ask?
/leaves for dialysis appointment
Shee-yit, this is a tough one. The two 122-catch seasons are impressive. The fact that he averaged 60-plus in his remaining seasons? Just as impressive. And the Mr. Potato Head eyebrows; them’s some HOF caterpillars!
But I’m a Packer Backer, so fuck Carter. And a Syracuse alum, so Monk deserved HOF.
@ yeah, right, please tell me you’re kidding with: “Rice caught all those pussy-ass slant passes directly over the middle then added some serious YAC.” That — while avoiding getting turned into Daryl Stingley — is what gutty receivers do.
@maverick
all the more reason why he should be in…..
chris carter texas sized ego and champion coke snorter.no one likes him.
If a receiver-related shooting happens in January, we will know for damn sure that MarHar won’t have been seen anywhere near the crime scene.
bob hayes?the world s fastest human and coke snorter.
fuck chris carter
At a certain point, some Colts fan really needs to speak up for Raymond Berry as the GOAT. But since Ray had no answers–no clue whatsoever–for Buddy Ryan’s 46D (shotgun? the spread offense? Nope, let’s just continue with seven step drops or running Collins and James up the middle and off tackle. That’ll work against Dent, Singletary, et al)–it won’t be me.
Marvin Harrison is the best receiver not named Jerry Rice.
Anyone who disagrees will be shot. The witnesses will be unreliable and the gun will have been used by someone else. MarHar will be a minimum of 10 yards away.
With Emmit Smith, Jerry Rice and Primetime up next year, it doesn’t look like Carter is a shoo in next year either. The year following with be Curtis Martin, Bus Bettis, Marshall Faulk and Tim Brown. So it may be awhile for Carter like it was for Monk.
chris carter, send best receiver ever? Randy Moss says hi!
Substitute “Cris Carter” with “Shannon Sharpe”, and “sidelines” with “up-the-seam”, and you have my oppinion…
*Clap*……*Clap*…*Clap*..*CLAP* *CLAP**CLAPCLCLALAPCLACLPCLAP*
Chris Carter is the 2nd best receiver ever? Homerism indeed.
Art Monk – total times in the top 10 in receptions, receiving yards and receiving TDs, combined – 8. Carter, those 3 combined – 21. Number of football categories Monk is in the top 100 alltime – 2 (#26 alltime single season rec and #73 alltime single season rec yards). Carter – 11. Monk sucks.
Preach it, Drew! I had only one issue with the post and that is you said Carter was the 2nd best receiver all time. He is actually the best. Rice caught all those pussy-ass slant passes directly over the middle then added some serious YAC. Rice was a great receiver but NOBODY had better hands than Carter and nobody caught the fade route better. He was insane with the sideline catches.
Congrats to all the HOFers this year, especially McDaniel and Derrick Thomas.
/Making Drews chili for tomorrow.
//taps in ash from a joint.
*That
not the, please don’t shoot me unidentified man with Marvin’s gun.
Marvin Harrison = 2nd best WR of all time. All the disagree will be shot with a gun registered to Marvin.
He will not be named a suspect in the shooting.
Carter deserves to be in, but no one was more of a first-class prick, so I have to laugh, especially as a Packer fan. For God sakes he wanted to come to Green Bay near the end of his career, and FAVRE nixed it and said he wouldn’t play with him. So if a me-first guy like Favre is saying he doesn’t want him, that kinda says something. He’ll eventually get voted in anyway.
AND WHERE’S RUSS GRIMM?
He’s no Monk.
Fellow Viking hater Packer fan… I agree with GothRodgers… I thought McDaniel would get shafted, but was surprised he made it and he deserved it.
That being said.. Carter was great, but I’d have had a bigger problem with Thomas not getting in again, or Woodsen, Smith, or McDaniel not getting in this time. Sorry you were the 5th best player on your HOF ballet, you’ll get in next year.
Oh, plus, Carter is an A-Hole so I don’t feel THAT bad for him.
“We’re not talking about Art Monk here. We’re talking about someone who was fucking GOOD.”
Classic.
Also, allow me to point out that Carter has 3 times the catches, and nearly twice the yardage and touchdowns that Bob Hayes does. Different era, different offense, fuckity fuck who cares. That makes absolutely no goddamn sense.
WOO-HOO!! Bruce and Ralph make it in! Brings back memories of good Buffalo football. (What’s that?)
Seriously, Drew, I’m just as confused by the hate for WRs and TEs as you. I hope Cris, Andre and Shannon don’t have to wait too much longer.
@pbhawks45: And as a Pack fan who can say the same, logically, that argument is correct. He should probably be in now and will probably get in deservedly eventually.
BUT THE MAN WAS A FUCKTASTER. NO ONE DENIES THIS. HE DESERVES PUBLIC SCORN.
…and I would say the same thing about Favre BTW. I would prefer to see the hick sit a few years as a subtle message.