KSK Suicide Pools: And Then There Was One
When Princeton played Rutgers in 1867, they didn’t even have a real ball. They just had Rupert.
Rupert was a four-pound pit bull that belonged to one of the students. He was beloved, really. But hey, kids gotta play, and so Rupert was beaten to death outside of the Princeton bookstore, right before being stuffed and lateraled into puppy immortality.
Our site’s first cracks at maintaining our own suicide pool have run with similar, bloody results. That said, we managed to find a single survivor to take our $100 prize. And that survivor was PARTYJIHAD from the Welker’s Spheres. His prize is waiting, and we’ll send it out as soon as he gets in touch with me via email.
Congrats, and thanks to all that took part.
Tags: the KSK Suicide Pools
January 13th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
KSK’s final straw w/authorities: Supporting terrorist groups.
January 13th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
Where’s my parade, huh? Whee’s the parade for the guy who was eliminated in Week 1 because he forgot to choose a team? Well?
They told me it’d be like this when I got back from ‘Nam.
January 13th, 2009 at 11:06 pm
You know what would be really fucking hilarious? Photos of those Beslan kids after they’d been shot in the back! Hahahahahaha! Stupid kids, always getting themselves into trouble… Oh, and pics of dead Jews for some additional levity. Gotta have dead Jews for the chuckles, dude. WTF? Did they all leave the World Trade Center or something?
Allahu Akbar, Great Satan! Or should I say, Great Stan! Get it, it’s a misinterpretation pun! Funny shit, yo. I almost peed my pants from the laughter. Whoooo!
Hey! I think one of those guys is Tawmy from Quinzee! Hahahahahahahaha!
January 14th, 2009 at 12:16 am
uhh I’m a fan of you guys but that’s fucked up
January 14th, 2009 at 12:28 am
ummmm.
This is from the original Muppet Show, right? That one episode with, uhh. No, I got nothing.
January 14th, 2009 at 12:28 am
C’mon, Caelum. That’s funny shit right there. Lighten the fuck up.
Marmalard: Ya betta ask somebodayyyyyyyyy!
Marmalard: Yo! Why didn’t you catch my pass, FUCKTASTER?
LDT>/b>: Cuz I got my arm blown off, and I’m dead! My family is in ruins!
Marmalard: You pussy. I’m dead too, and I’m playing! Pussy!
Tiny Dancer Sproles: Shut up the both of you. I hid in the glove compartment and I’m fine, stop your bitching. Pussies.
Marmalard: You need to pick us up, Tiny Dancer. Only you can do it!
Tiny Dancer Sproles: Are you kidding? Your spines would come off in my hands! Not to mention your burned skin! Baaaaarrrrfffff!
Hahahahahaha!
January 14th, 2009 at 12:35 am
@caelum
The appropriate term is “Jeez punter, that’s just wrong.”
@Squatch
First, what does Allahu Akbar have to do with anything?
Secondly, what is it you’re trying to do? Are you making jokes? Are you providing social commentary? I’m just lost in the maze that is your comments.
January 14th, 2009 at 1:07 am
/returns from half-year long slumber
Jeez Punter, that’s just wroooonnnn….
/sprays cum on self
/wipes self with copy of Tony Dungy’s Quiet Strength
January 14th, 2009 at 1:33 am
Pictured: Giants season.
January 14th, 2009 at 1:48 am
/not bothered by image
//seen worse
///not particularly stable
January 14th, 2009 at 1:50 am
Ummm…great blog and check it daily but I think the picture is a bit overboard.
January 14th, 2009 at 2:00 am
I don’t see what the big deal is.
/indifferent
January 14th, 2009 at 2:10 am
So does this mean I shouldn’t buy a Toyota Prius?
January 14th, 2009 at 2:15 am
God love you guys, but that is fucked up. Seen worse (Hi Caveman!) but obvs not a VBIED for several reasons. If it was, I’d find it hilarious. OK, maybe its still a little funny. But Jesus. Can’t you photoshop Marmalard s’more?
January 14th, 2009 at 3:26 am
Hmm not a combat vet, yet strangely unaffected, does that make me more fucked up than Ufford, or just a shameful, cowardly commiepussie of the first order? I blame my appreciation of video games, rap music, pro football, cheerleaders, literature, college, the news media and irony, oh, and rotten.com.
/FIX YO SOUL
//Countdown until this is an actual Ray Lewis inspired bedazzled clothing slogan is a reality begins…
January 14th, 2009 at 4:46 am
I feel like the picture should affect me more than the story about Rupert does.
/has spent too much time on the Internet
January 14th, 2009 at 5:48 am
Great judgement, dipshit. Not at all in your ass.
Here’s hoping KSK can reel in that vaunted “disturbed teenage loner” demographic that’s been sorely
neglected ever since ogrish closed down.
January 14th, 2009 at 7:21 am
All is can say is that guy has got one hell of an arm!
January 14th, 2009 at 7:41 am
Uh, that’s, that’s just, er, raspberry jam.
January 14th, 2009 at 7:44 am
yet another victim of a car bombombombwoooooooooo
http://www.bombombombomwooooo.com/
January 14th, 2009 at 7:54 am
These guys tried to emulate the bonus stage in Street Fighter 2, unfortunately, it backfired.
January 14th, 2009 at 8:19 am
Just an ordinary, non-combat-vet, Biglaw office drone here. That pic is pretty fucked up for the general population. I’m not saying it’s wrong — just that you managed to shock me, which is pretty damn unusual.
Carry on.
January 14th, 2009 at 8:32 am
Just because Baltimore is in the AFC championship doesn’t mean you have to post their tailgating pics.
January 14th, 2009 at 8:37 am
Quit your whining it is not that bad. I’ve seen worse on this site. These guys had a disease draft and showed a picture of brain worms or something.
January 14th, 2009 at 8:44 am
The image was meant to illustrate the clusterfuck that was this suicide pool. It wasn’t supposed to be funny.
January 14th, 2009 at 8:45 am
But Rupert was okay after the game, right?
January 14th, 2009 at 8:47 am
I’m strangely unmoved.
/has rotten.com as homepage
//is jason jones-ing it
January 14th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Oh, and it’s wholly inappropriate. Javon Walker should be shooped into it.
January 14th, 2009 at 9:03 am
And that’s why you always leave a note.
January 14th, 2009 at 9:27 am
I’m more upset over the story of the Princeton students using a dead dog to play football than I am by that picture.
January 14th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Those look like crash test dummies to me. Whats the big deal?
January 14th, 2009 at 9:52 am
OK, clearly they changed the pic earlier today, since I don’t see what’s so upsetting about the book of dog postcards.
Pray tell, what’d I miss?
January 14th, 2009 at 9:55 am
@ Harry:
Naked Steelers fans.
January 14th, 2009 at 9:56 am
The pic was an exploded car bomb, with two dismembered bodies shown.
January 14th, 2009 at 9:59 am
@ Dan V: Only one of the bodies was dismembered! FIX YO LIMB COUNT!
January 14th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Cue the whiny Micheal Vick pussies.
In this country your clearly better off if you kill your wife than engage in dog fighting. -Daniel Tosh
January 14th, 2009 at 10:26 am
^^^Rae Carruth can attest to that.
January 14th, 2009 at 10:28 am
“And that’s why you always leave a note.”
FUCKING fantastic Arrested Development reference. Well done.
January 14th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Pictured: Ravens Season.
January 14th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Goddamnit, I have one morning meeting and I miss the good stuff. I lasted all season, the least I deserve is to see some dismembered bodies and pointless violence, can we switch the pic back?
January 14th, 2009 at 11:33 am
What happened to the pic of the Titans’ bandwagon?
January 14th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Jihad FT$. Real Talk. I am a buying a bong!
(assuming my C-note comes in the form of real duckets, and not $100 off a purchase of $500 or more @ Petsmart)
January 14th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Maybe that wasn’t a car bomb. Maybe they just had a shitty car?
/Buy American!
//Drives a Toyota.
January 14th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
The Rupert story needs a Wikipedia-esque [citation needed]
January 14th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
As a proud graduate of Rutgers, I can confirm its validity. Sadly that game still ranks in the top 5 of our greatest victories ever.
January 14th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
Yeah, that’s funny because the only hits a google search brings up on the matter are links to this article. I call bullshit.
January 14th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
If you think that game is bad, you should check out the Afghan sport of Buzkashi, which every match is played with a headless goat carcass. It is freaking awesome to see (I have lived here for a few years and caught a couple matches). It is also featured prominently in Rambo III. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buzkashi