KSK Fantasy/Sex Advice Mailbag: Rocco’s Ex, Threesomes, and the Elusive Quest For Buttsex
Welcome to another disturbingly arousing edition of the KSK Football and Sex Advice Mailbag! After the jump we’ll answer such sensitive questions as when to clean the pipes, what to do about a dog who wants to join the fun, and when it’s time to retire the spooge sock (Ed. note: Immediately).
Gentlemen,
Sex: Pictured is my ex-wife. The problem is this: How do I go from such a hot piece of ass to something else? Do I hold out for similar hot ass, or start settling for less?
Football: I suck at fantasy football. Do I keep playing, or just go cold turkey?
Thanks as always.
Rocco
After months of yapping about his blond cheerleader of an ex-wife we finally get a look into Rocco’s past. Now Rocco, you certainly seem to be hung up on this particular “piece of ass” and before you move on to new conquests (date rape) I think we all need an explanation as to what the fuck happened. Did she leave you because you took her to the St. Lucia during the rainy season? I bet that’s why.
As for your fantasy question, keep playing. Every league needs a guy that will pay up year after year without the slightest chance of ever winning in the end. Here’s an analogy that might make sense.
Bait Fish : Shark :: Rocco : The Rest of the League
Gentlemen,
I broke up with my girlfriend of six months right after Thanksgiving break, and I have been on a dry spell ever since. I partly blame finals and the horrendously long winter break, but in all honesty it’s probably me just being a huge pussy. Anyhoo, there is finally another girl that actually wants to see my dick, and I really don’t want to fuck this up. I’m worried that after such a long hiatus, her just telling me to put on a condom will make me cum all over myself. I have decided that I will jerk off before we hang out to hopefully delay the inevitable early splooge. My question is: When should I “prep myself”? Too early, and all of its intentions go for naught. Too late, and I am sitting there with a limp dick and an uncomfortable explanation. I need your help.
Also, one of the members of my fantasy league decided that he didn’t want to do a fantasy playoff league because it “is going overboard.” Should he be thrown out immediately?
Thanks,
CJ
Well CJ, a lot of this depends on your own body and it’s response time. That being said, you should probably be unloading the gun around 60-90 minutes prior to meeting up with the lucky lady. As for your other question, the answer is no because fantasy playoff football is retarded.
Dear Gay Mafia,
Whenever I go over to my wife to initiate some kind of sexual contact, our dog takes it as a sign that he should start humping my leg. The most baffling part is he’s neutered. What should I do about this?
Also, should I lay the points and take Carolina this weekend or go with Arizona and hope Jesus will help Kurt Warner at least cover the spread?
All the best,
Dog-humped in Philly
The question you should be asking is why a neutered dog keeps humping your leg to begin with. If I had to guess I’d say that your dog is incredibly pissed that you cut off his nuts, and he’s determined to exact his revenge by ruining the mood during tender moments. The easiest solution is to just lock the little fucking mutt out of the room before you start getting frisky with the Mrs. Have you honestly not figured this out yet or do you live in a one room shack?
What up my man?
So really I just need the advice…but not for myself…really!
So last night I get a call from my sister who said she has a problem that she can only speak to me about. She’s cheating on her gay husband with an ex-boyfriend of hers. This ex, back in the day, used to smoke a lot of pot. So much, in fact, his penis has shrunk. As a result, he’s now insecure about the size of his junk. Primarily the reason for this is that my sister isn’t as vocal during sex as she was 8 years ago. She asked me what she can do to reassure him that his submarine sinks her battleship. Other than just saying she’s satisfied with their bang up sex life, I told her to just moan louder and all should be well with the world. She claims he’ll know she’s faking. What can I tell my sister that will let her man know his junk is enough?
I guess for football, what are the odds my Steelers make it to the Super Bowl? If they are slim, which week will I need to hide under my desk from my Cowboys-loving boss to avoid the harassment that will be inflicted upon me for a Steeler meltdown?
Run CMC, Philly
Well that’s the stupidest fucking shit I’ve ever heard. His penis hasn’t shrunk (although if it did it has absolutely nothing to do with smoking, no matter how many bong hits he’s taken) your “friend’s” vagina is getting more roomy. Did you know that rooting for the Steelers makes your snatch huge? It’s true, I totally read it somewhere!
The odds that the Steelers make it to the Super Bowl are currently set at 8/5 (source), but you can take them to win it all right now at better than 4/1. If you can get your shithead boss to give you those odds I’d jump on it. If you lose, just kick him in the nuts and tell his superiors that he groped you.
KSK,
I have a couple of interesting queries for you here:
I’ve been dating the same chick for a few years now and she’s pretty boring. Like, she sucks a mean cock and all, but outside of that, she’s pretty much a straight “do me missionary” type broad. Ya, she gives it up regularly…but I often find myself thinking about other things like:
- How much I love the job those Under Armour wipes do on the inside of my car
- That making Grilled Cheese on cheese bread would, quite possibly, be the greatest idea I’ve ever had
- How I figured out the Caramilk secret a long time ago [Ed. note: fucking Canadians]
Anywho, I’ve tried suggesting anal, threesomes, her letting me hit that shit from behind and she just doesn’t seem to want any part of it. Last week though, she caught me off guard by proposing a threesome…with her fat friend. This broad (the friend) is…well…ghastly. My girlfriend apparently feels sorry for her friend because she hasn’t gotten plowed in about 2 years…and thinks it would be “nice to help her out.” I instantly declined this invitation and suggested that her friend either a.) lose some weight or b.) find a guy who likes fat chicks.
She told me that I could do her in the a$$ (my lifelong dream) if I engaged in said threesome. I am not sure what to do here…please help! Do I close my eyes, ride the wave and bang the fatty when I want the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? What if my girlfriend reneges on her promise and I went through such a harrowing experience for nothing? What would you do?
Also – I don’t tell many people this, but I am a 49ers fan. Should I have renewed optimism for next season after their 7-9 finish this year? Or, should I just pick a new team to cheer for?
-Matt
Under Armour makes car wipes? WE MUST PROTECT THIS HATCHBACK!
Now if your lifelong dream is to get in your wife’s rear entry you should be willing do to whatever it takes to make that happen. If your wife does renege on the deal then then would be well within your rights to divorce her and set fire to everything she has ever loved.
The only thing that could make you a worse person than your potentially anal Indian giving wife would be to switch football allegiances because your team hasn’t been competitive for the better part of a decade. Embrace the suck and wait for happier days.
KSK,
Your response to my previous mailbag question was bang-on (literally), and it also helped me to my first Championship in 10 yrs. While it’s a little pre-mature, my football question is keeper related.
- 2 keepers: – 1 QB – 1 RB – 1 RB/WR – 3WR – etc.
- Possible keepers: Cutler, DeAngelo, T. Jones, Fitzgerald, Andre Johnson
The league is WR heavy, so I’m leaning towards the 2 WR’s, but will find it hard to give up the #1 RB (who is in a time-share).
For the sexy business, here’s my issue:
Sometimes on the day after giving my wife a thorough shagging (a couple orgasms for each of us), she’s a little bitchy. I just made her vag explode (in a good way), why the attitude the next day? Is it hormonal? I’d like a serious answer on this. Maybe some of the lady commenters could give some insight.
Thanks,
FSL
I have no clue what would make your wife so bitchy, but you might consider the possibility that you aren’t rocking her world quite as much as you may think. Keep the dynamic Fitzy/Andre duo intact and try asking the wife what’s up her ass. Maybe it’s nothing, maybe she’s just naturally bitchy. If I had to guess I’d say she’s a closet lesbian.
Gents,
I love getting it on with my wife, she’s a lot of fun in the sack but, like most married American women, she doesn’t have the energy to get it on repeatedly throughout the week after working, exercising, etc. We don’t even have kids yet. Do you agree with the pre-marital counselor (preacher) that told me that beating off to porn is a type of cheating on your wife? When my wife is out of the house, I can’t help but have a heaping serving of good girl on girl action, especially involving a strap-on. Am I joining the rest of you in Hell?
Also, game time temp in Charlotte Saturday night is 40 degrees, is this enough reason to give the 10 points and take the Panthers?
Thanks,
Brad
Asking us if we agree with a pastor might be the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. Don’t let some asshole with a collar tell you that porn is wrong. Pick up a copy of Heeb Magazine’s sex issue and show him just how dirty his precious Bible really is.
There are plenty of reasons to take the points against the Cardinals, but the weather is the least of them. More on this tomorrow.
KSK,
NFL: Who is going to get kicked out of the Eagles family first: McNabb or Reid?
Sex: At what point does the line in the taintal region cross “okay, this is cool” and “I DIDN’T SIGN A WAIVER FOR THIS”.
-Chris
1. Reid
2. The insertion of digits
My favorite gay mafia,
So, my wife is pregnant. Like, 8 months pregnant. And ever since she has started to really show, I have absolutely no desire to have sex with her. Mind you, I still want to have sex as much as ever (if not more). Just not with her. But I don’t want to hurt her feelings and turn down sex with her for the first time ever. So, the last few times with her I have thought about this smoking hot 21-year old chick in my office with the most amazing body I’ve ever seen. Seriously….double D’s and a shelf for an ass. I just close my eyes and think of office girl.
So my sex question is: Should I feel guilty? Here she is, carrying my baby–and I’m thinking of someone else during sex. I mean, I know I’m a scumbag…..but should I feel guilty? Or should I just look at this situation as a temporary thing and ride it out until things are back to normal?
Oh, and my football question: Why the fuck can’t Devin Hester return kicks anymore? What the fuck? Like, seriously. Explain this to me. How do you go from 6 return TDs a season to running backwards on punts half the time?
Mike in Chicago
I’d say that feeling the slightest twinge of guilt makes you some sort of a modern day saint. If your wife is showing (and unless she’s Sarah Palin she’s certainly showing at 8 months) then you should feel fine about picturing a beautiful young thing. Now tell me more about this ass shelf.
Hester can’t return kicks anymore because he’s too busy playing receiver, the same affliction that destroyed Dante Hall. Teams need to let return men stick to what they do best (see Gray, Mel and Mitchell, Brian). If they really want to involve these playmakers in other facets of the game that’s okay, but turning a defensive back turned kick returner into a starting wide receiver is a horrible fucking idea. This is covered by the law of diminishing (punt) returns.
KSK,
1) Should the Lions go after a Schottenheimer or Shanahan as their next coach? I mean there’s no guarantee that either will win a Super Bowl, but at least they could get us to the playoffs in two or three years and that’s much better than what has been going on since Millen arrived.
2) My wife and I were having a conversation about backdoor relations and, while it has not been something I expect from her, she said if it was something that was important to me she would do it but is not something she would ask to get. Does her saying that mean it is something that she wants to do and I am just an idiot for not picking up on it? We did do it once before we were married, and she enjoyed it, but haven’t done that since. I get plenty of satisfaction from the other stuff we do, but if she wanted to do it then that would be hot!
PS If you don’t print my question, THAT’S DISRESPECT!!!!!
PPS Sorry for using such Elisha-like language but our firewall here won’t let me express myself in stronger terms.
Thanks,
Mike
First I should note that Mike’s rather prudish place of employment sounds like a headhunting firm for escort services. Now to the questions at hand.
1. The Lions don’t need to bring in some old asshole, they need an infusion of fresh blood (not unlike Count Al of Oakland).
2. Your wife totally wants it in the ass, and if she doesn’t get it from you she’ll get it on the streets.
KSK,
I have a simple, yet disturbing question.
How many times do I use the same sock to um..sock-fuck, before throwing it away? Is there a standard number or does it depend on the size of the sock and the load?
Eli or McNabb? I know, too easy, but then so are all the women in your families.
-Dave
Eli or McNabb for what? As a fantasy? As a playoff quarterback? As a lover? Maybe this is why you’re fucking a crusty stock you nasty fuck!
Thanks for sending in your questions. Until next time, stay sexified.
Tags: Deviant Behavior, ksk fantasy sex advice mailbag, Our readers really like anal, Sex, Unsilent Majority
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January 8th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
The question you should be asking is why a neutered dog keeps humping your leg to begin with.
It’s the dog trying to assert dominance, which means you suck as an owner.
/guess who spends more time with his dog than people?
January 8th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
You didn’t answer my gambling advice in the dog-humping question… err, I mean, you didn’t answer that guy’s gambling advice…
*hangs head in shame*
January 8th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
WOW!! Look at those magumbos!!!!
/Krusty the Clown
January 8th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
You should know that gambling advice comes tomorrow.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Armor All makes great work out gear
January 8th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Ol’ shrunken pot penis probably also used to tell chicks that they didn’t have to use condoms because the herb made him 100% sterile.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Well, I learned something new today: That dudes don’t wash the crusty socks and reuse them, they just throw them away. Good to know.
Rocco, is there a lot of animus between you and your ex-wife? I need to know before I can make a judgement.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Or should I just look at this situation as a temporary thing and ride it out until things are back to normal?
Um, you’re having a kid. Good luck with all the “normal”!
January 8th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Damn, those are some seriously shitty questions this week. I may just have to make some shit up and send it in before next Thursday.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
@ Clare
The type of dudes who use (and reuse) a sock are the same people that shower once a week. The more civilized men have an old hand towel stashed somewhere in the room that gets washed with every laundry load.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
@Matt,
just bang the fat girl up the ass. Problems solved.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
jizz socks make me giggle
January 8th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
@Rocco: You’re not taking some vow of chastity because of this woman, are you? Go get yourself laid; with a “slump buster” if necessary. Quantity over quality until you find one you like.
January 8th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
“A couple of orgasms for each of us…”
What?
January 8th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
1) Why is your sister asking you for sexual advice?
2) Why the fuck are you giving your sister sexual advice?
January 8th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
@FSL: I’m Foxxy Brown and I endorse KSK’s response.
and, Cutler? are you fucking kidding?!
January 8th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
@Tracer Bullet: 3) Why the fuck are your sister’s only options a gay man or an ex with a tiny dick? Maybe Rocco should get her number!
January 8th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
@ Tracer: i assumed (aka “hoped”) Run is a female . . .
January 8th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
You guys forgot the “commenter Clare will answer all the questions you didn’t ask her” tag.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
@Foxxy
I hope Run is a female also. If not, that is a weird relationship…kind of like Angelina Jolie and her fucked up brother. Usually these questions/fables make me laugh but for some reason they were kind of borderline creepy this week. Maybe it’s just me?
January 8th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Tracer: Had the same thought, then figured that said writer is a chick, especially because the advice is for “someone else”. Which makes it slightly less odd that sisters talk about these things.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Dear KSK:
I enjoy sex in theory, but my attempts at it from the age of 15 have been abortive, frustrated, and largely unsuccessful. I have many bizarre fantasies that I’ve learned from watching excessive amounts of porn, but the dumpy and prudish girl I’ve settled for is reluctant to try them. How can I totally overhaul my life so as to live out the glamorous and fornication-laden lifestyle pop culture has convinced me I’m supposed to be enjoying?
Love,
Every Dude Ever
January 8th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
“This is covered by the law of diminishing (punt) returns. ”
May be the most clever (and awesome) thing I’ve seen on this site…
January 8th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
@fmra: Is this jezebel?
January 8th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
II hadn’t considered that Run CMC could be a woman, though as a Steeler fan living in Philadelphia he/she is clearly a bitch.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
@Matt
What’s wrong with you dude? Have the threesome for Christ sake!
As penetrator of girls both big and small, I say there’s nothing more fun with banging a big girl. And you have a plus of it being no strings attached, because, you know, she’s your girl’s friend. Personally I would trade every “a$$” fucking experience I’ve ever had in my life for a chance at a threesome, even if one of the girls was relatively subpar
Confucius say – fat bird like moped, fun ride until friends see
January 8th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
@ Sock guy – baby wipes. Use once, then throw away.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
This question is for the guy that’s going to be in the threesome with the slam hog; so what kind of cheese are we talkin’ about on that grilled cheese sandwich??
January 8th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
they also invented a magnificent thing called a PAPER TOWEL
January 8th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
the environmentalist in me is a big fan of the “spank towel” due to the mulitple times you and use it, wash it and it is as good as new. remember “reduce, reuse, and recycle”. And that’s one to grow.
Now I need to get back to my lunch which consists of me eating endangered species.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
Once you do that into the towels, they’re never soft again.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
@Clare:
Dudes that don’t live with their moms wash and reuse the socks.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
@ ax is back :
Considering the ammount of masturbation associated with just the readers of this site, Vermont would look like Arizona if everyone used paper towels.
Plus they don’t flush well.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
@ Rocco – Please send me your x’s phone number. No really, I just want to talk to her.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
hardawayhatesyou, I can assure you that I require no guidance from dull websites laden with foolish, self-absorbed, misguided attempts at feminism in order to form my own opinions on men.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Mike from Chicago is a douche. Unless he agrees that when his beer gut sticks out farther than his dick does, his wife is free to think about the hot college guy with a six pack and fuck muscles like Michael Phelps that works in her mail room.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
@header picture
Is that Lake George?
January 8th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
@MMP: If you must know, I kicked her out.
@Clare: Yes, we don’t get along or even talk.
@johndewar: No, but everything since has been a let down.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
I think I’ve seen that girl with a Rocco some place else.
Ed. note: The link had to go. It was Briana Banks getting double-teamed and choked. You’re welcome.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
@289: Is that by any chance NSFW? You really should clarify these things.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
@Doc Holliday, I’ve never seen anything look that good on “Million $” beach up in Lake George. Plus, there is no Mini-ha-ha steam boat on the back ground.
Rocco, help us out
January 8th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Kleenex works just fine and is plenty flush-able!
The dick shrinking pot smoking thing is INSANE!?!
Does that person confuse weed with steroids?
January 8th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
It’s safe for where I work since I’m not a communist.
January 8th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Jesus fucking Christ, 289.
NOBODY CLICK THAT LINK!
January 8th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
The file name indicates that it’s St. Lucia. Dubious.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
wtf is wrong with tissues? never understood why anyone uses anything else. and they flush, which is great when you dont have your own room and need to get rid of evidence quickly when you’re 11
January 8th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Wayne- but then you wind up with a trashcan that smells like a Bradford Pear tree
January 8th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
UM needs to ear fewer Bradford pears.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
@UU
You’re right. The beach is also missing all of the delightful derelicts that love to get drunk and punch their wives in front of their kids.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
The worst is when you start jerkin it and realize that all you have to catch the load with is the paper towel from yesterday’s session that’s still sitting on your night stand, leaving you with no other option but to unfold the crispy, yellowed paper.
Also, baby wipes have soap and shit on them, you don’t want that near your open dick hole. Stick with the paper towels, or toilet paper if you must, but that’s thinner, and we all know how gross it is when you blow your nose and it busts through the kleenex…
January 8th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
UM- i always just threw them on the floor, then when i was done (4-5 tissues, depending on my mood and amount of private time i had) i gathered them all and flushed them down and washed my hands. 13 years since i started, this is still the routine
January 8th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
@Doc, good point and don’t forget all the Fench Canadians that visit lake george
January 8th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
If your wife does renege on the deal then then would be well within your rights to divorce her and set fire to everything she has ever loved.
fucking awesome!
January 8th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
@unsilent majority for mentioning the smell of bradford pear trees!
January 8th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Maj -
Holy shit, is that the name of those trees? When I was like 15 me and my friends used to joke about the “jizz trees” that lined this one street on our walk to school. None of us bothered to ever look them up or anything, but these things smelled EXACTLY like your splooge-stained fabric of choice.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
OK yes I’m a female…and NO…the advice is not for me. She swears his penis is smaller…noticably smaller. But she also has a few kids….not much moaning going on if he’s throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
hmmm I always wondered what those trees were called, they’re all over DC. so foul
January 8th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
@Matt,
just bang the fat girl up the ass. Problems solved.
This is the correct answer.
As I’ve learned…from…friends of mine…the one advantage a fat girl has is desperation. In short, since they’re not getting it as much as their hot counterparts, they’re eager to please and will give into whatever dark, nasty, disturbing fantasies you may be carrying.
And they come with gigantic cans…which is always a nice extra.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Paper towels? On my best friend?
What kind of sick fiend would dare rub that rough thing on their bishop? Are you trying to redden the sucker?
January 8th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
I have a theory that there are multiple sperm trees, but the internet tells me it’s the Bradford Pear.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
@ Wayne Chrebet (and KSK):
“13 years since i started, this is still the routine”
Are we all sure a 13 year old should really be reading this site? Think of the children!
January 8th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Can has poll plz?
Bradford Pear stink > Ginkgo Tree stink
vs.
Gingko Tree stink > Bradford Pear stink
January 8th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
alex…dummy…he said 13 years since he started…ie subtract 13 from his age now
January 8th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
13-13= humor.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
for what it’s worth, i got the joke. oh how i wish i was capable of doing that as a little kid with no toys growing up in communist ukraine
January 8th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
As the former owner of a house with a huge Bradford Pear, they’re spectacular in the fall, but they certainly smell like a jizzmopper’s brush for about two weeks every spring.
also, who the fuck doesn’t just flush or wash away jerk remnants? socks? towels? jesus, that’s just wrong.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
@Alex:
check your math
January 8th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
@Mike in Chicago,
My wife is 8 months pregnant, also.
Can I have Ass-Shelf girl’s number?
January 8th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
@Slothrop
Are they also real?
January 8th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Be careful on the fatty-threesome thing. Any time a woman who is generally against threesomes suggests a threesome, you have good reason to suspect that she’s doing some kind of bitchy “test”. You should at least act reluctant.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
@MMP: Huh, maybe it’s the pic. Never heard her referred to as a butterface before.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
For the record, sex with a pregnant Mrs. Bullet was awesome. I don’t know if it was the depravity of fucking a pregnant woman, the internal pressure tightening things up or that we were technically having a threesome, but goddamn it was good. I highly recommend it.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
@Rocco: Now that I know how things ended I can tell you that her body is tight but she’s a bit busted about the face. It might be a bad photo, but…probably not.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I work out wearing nothing but a thin layer of shiny Armour All.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
@Claire: does this help?
http://www.dotphoto.com/GuestViewImage.asp?AID=298648&IID=9366092&INUM=14&ICT=16&IPP=16
(2nd from the left)
http://www.dotphoto.com/GuestViewImage.asp?AID=298648&IID=9366092&INUM=14&ICT=16&IPP=16
(No, that’s not me.)
January 8th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
@Clare: Sorry, my fingers want to type an i in there.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Hey, as for fantasty football: I played this year not for money, and would have at least tied in the championship if I had been up before 1:03pm to put Farve in for Cassel in week 17. I even live in Buffalo and knew it was windy. Yes, I suck.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Paper towels? On my best friend? What kind of sick fiend would dare rub that rough thing on their bishop? Are you trying to redden the sucker?
UR DOIN IT WRONG
January 8th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Well that’s not very helpful
January 8th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Rocco, that site demands a user name and password.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
UR DOIN IT WRONG
Not with the results I’m getting.
BTW, wouldn’t you shoot through the paper towel? Or is that just me?
January 8th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Too good for Flickr?
January 8th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Flickr’s your friend, Rocco.
No, wait. That’s Flicka.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
What? Huh? Fuck you. That site just hosts pics from buffalobarfly.com. The links work for me. No username/password. Whatever.
January 8th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
@Reggie Bush’s Pimp: Rabbit Angstrom agrees with your fatty analysis.
January 8th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
@ Rocco: Okay now I’m interested, what is damn member name and password (yours prob works cuz you r already signed in)?
Also, this is prob one of the funniest comment threads ever.
January 8th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Because I gotta see another angle or something…not into the whole white eyebrow and eyelash thing…
January 8th, 2009 at 5:51 pm
WTF Rocco ?? I go thru the freaking process to join so i can see the butterface whore you were married to. Then you remove the pics ??!!
You will end up doing time (more??) over this little filly !! Just my guess….
January 8th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
nice tits i guess but she looks like ed begley jr.
January 8th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
NOT LAKE GEORGE…cause there is not enough stuff, land, etc.
Wow, umm, this set of comments went everywhere today!
January 8th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
“or that we were technically having a threesome”
@ Tracer — can’t wait to meet you. in hell.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:06 pm
@Matt,
Go for the threesome. My wife just does not give a s*** about sex anymore, so enjoy it while you can before she turns frigid on you. I mean, unless she is like Biggest Loser-over 300 lbs fat where you need lots of liquid courage and Viagra.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
Wait, so the dude was trying to bang his sister in the ass? And the whole time he knew secret services was setting him up?
Sorry after eight beers and 60+ comments, I get confused.
January 9th, 2009 at 1:45 am
UnsilentMajority: you are thinking of bradford pears (i was a landscape supervisor for 5 yrs). the mexicans used to callit the pinocha mallo (sick pussy) tree
January 9th, 2009 at 2:55 am
Always go for the fatty threesome, just have lots of flour handy. Also, if you’re worried about your lady pulling a jedi mind trick on you later, make her eat out fatty while you plow her from behind and video tape it. Watch her shut the fuck up.
January 9th, 2009 at 9:04 am
@Tom Brady’s Jockstrap: Huh, that’s odd. I’ve never seen that password screen before. If you really care that much, you can go to buffalobarfly.com, click on buzz photos, and go to archive volume 57.
Oh, and yeah, very blond. Like a 2 hour event to put mascara on.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:04 am
This week I am most disturbed by the guy that discusses his sisters sex life with her in GRAPHIC DETAIL. wtf kind of family is that?
January 9th, 2009 at 10:42 am
@threesome guy: Fat chick who hasn’t gotten laid in two years potentially = tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight pussy. Fucking thing will strangle your dick. Go with it.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:52 am
As an economics major and Bears fan, I know all about the law of diminishing punt returns…. Bring on Sexy Friday or Rocco’s ex + brown paper bag and a bucket of axle grease… >:3
January 9th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Come on, that’s not nice.
January 9th, 2009 at 11:45 am
@ Rocco- The paper bag is for me,… Don’t fret too much man, she’s hot. But the hotter they are, the more bat shit crazy they are too. You had a hot cheerleader bitch and now with that under your belt more will flock. See Seinfeld. NO ONE DENIES THIS.
January 9th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
i[For the record, sex with a pregnant Mrs. Bullet was awesome. I don’t know if it was the depravity of fucking a pregnant woman, the internal pressure tightening things up or that we were technically having a threesome]i
Jesus Christ, bullet! That’s just wrong!
January 9th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
@V.R.: No worries. Oh, and volume 54 too.
January 9th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
I’ve tried the fat chicks thing. Definite upsides and downsides. They will definitely let you do whatever you want for fear of being further rejected if they decline. But its kind of hard to get really excited when you’re banging the fatty and you can’t really see your dick going in and out. It feels nice, but without the solid visual of pussy lips and clit, its hard to maintain interest. The big boobs are a definite plus though.
January 9th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
And Rocco’s blonde has terrible legs. She is pretty much living off a nice tan, amazing tits and being blonde.
January 9th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
@King: Terrible? Interesting.
January 9th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Just looked at the gallery….she’s about a 6 or 7 rocco….but I’m NEVER going to Buffalo….
July 11th, 2009 at 8:06 am
I really liked your blog!