KSK Celebrity Super Bowl Pickakke: Beyonce Knowles
The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Tampa! Up next, recording superstar Beyonce Knowles.
(flips hair, gets stray wet strand in mouth)
Nowthatitstimeformetopickawinner
Don’twantyoutothinkthatI’masinner
CauseIain’tnogirlI’mawo-ooooo-OOO-oooooomannnnn
AndI’malwaysgonnabeimprooovin
(does that dance where it looks like she’s speed skating)
CauseIliketheSTEELers
IliketheirDEfense
IlikeJamesHARRison
HesgoodatthePASSrush
(taps right foot hard on the ground, sashays to the left)
IliketheSTEELers
They’regonnaMAKEit
SixSuperBOWLtiiiiiii-iiii-IIII-iii-tles
That’saleagueRECord
(shakes hips, takes out two elderly people)
IliketheSTEELers
AndifICRAMsome
MorewordsintotheCHORus
Thenyouwon’tNOTice
IthasnoMELody
AndnodeCENThook
Whoa-ooooooo-ooooo-OOOOOO-ooo-OOOOOO-oooooo-WHOAOOOOOOOOOO (shatters steel statue nearby)
IliketheSTEELers
InjustfiveMOREyears
I’llhaveasASSthat’s
AsbigasAREtha’s
UPGRADETODIRECTV!
Tags: Big Daddy Drew, celebrity super bowl pick bukkake, curvy ladies, read it to the tune of survivor, single ladies put an onion ring on it
January 30th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Sigh.
Better than this.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
IliketheSTEELers
InjustfiveMOREyears
I’llhaveasASSthat’s
AsbigasAREtha’s
It’s funny because it’s true.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
I meant the part about Beyonce having a fat ass – not the Steelers winning.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
I can’t until all the retarded single women I work with start singing this and humming this and quoting this and start pointing at their other single friends and winking and then go home at night and get lonely and got out and get drunk and have borderline consensual sex with a stranger.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
I can’t until
I can’t WAIT until
/is the retard now
January 30th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
@Ape
Is it me, or are shitty Steelers fans just crawling out of the woodwork these last 10 days to give the rest of us a bad name?
January 30th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
@ FLS: I swear there weren’t this many song parodies three years ago.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
I need to upgrade my shiny leg grease to whatever she’s using.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
read it to the tune of survivor
Not all of us have Beyonce’s songs memorized.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Even the Steeler fans hate themselves now.
And Beyonce has a bigger ass frame than Aretha. I predict a world record ass for her.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
read it to the tune of survivor
Which one? “Eye of the Tiger”?
January 30th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
@85
There was only the “pah lah mah loo” song, which I guess is worse than anything, ever.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Elisabeth Shue’s hair looks pretty good on her.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:33 pm
@Otto
Look up “Destiny’s Child Survivor” on YouTube.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
If I were a boyyyyyyyyy
I would bet on the Carrrrrrrds
‘Cause ain’t no way that them Steelers
Have got the game to cover
On Sunday while we’re all getting druuuuuuuuuuuuunk
/applies another pound and a half of lip gloss
(seriously, though, I’d go gay for Beyonce in 3.5 nanoseconds. THERE is a woman.)
January 30th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
The only word that stood out of that first line to me was “tits”
January 30th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
I’d like her if she wasn’t such an egotistical bitch.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Her left leg from the knee up looks like a side of beef hanging in a meat locker. I’m not sure whether I’m horny or hungry
January 30th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
@Marmatard
Look up “sarcasm” in the dictionary.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
will do otto
will do
January 30th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Can we get one about the Buffalo Bills sucking to the tune of “Bills, Bills, Bills”?
/Destiny’s Child elitism
//punches self in dick
January 30th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Oh yeah, egotistical bitches are totally way worse than needy, emotionally fragile, demanding head cases with daddy issues and terrible body image who’ll call you every 5 minutes when you’re out of town and cry the first time you forget it’s their cat’s birthday or some stupid shit like that.
Why yes, I am an egotistical bitch. Why do you ask?
January 30th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
/backing away slowly
January 30th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Why yes, I am an egotistical bitch. Why do you ask?
We didn’t.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
/running full speed
January 30th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
Steeler Ladies:
“You Mus sure know how to party!” -Booger Dawson
January 30th, 2009 at 3:46 pm
I had a dream about a week ago where I was Stringer Bell’s right hand man. He was married to Beyonce, but I was hitting it on the side. It was great, until Stringer found out anyway.
I have some messed up dreams sometimes.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
I had a dream about a week ago where I was Stringer Bell’s right hand man. He was married to Beyonce, but I was hitting it on the side. It was great, until Stringer found out anyway.
Wait a second, “Andrew.” Are you really Ali Larter? How was sex with Stringer?
January 30th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
@Otto
I can see how that could be misread. Thanks.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
You forgot (does that shakey thing that looks like she’s having a grand mal seizure)
I hate Beyonce. Mostly because she’s supposedly “invented” an onstage persona. To other performers, that’s called “having an act” or “performing,” but because it’s Beyonce, it’s a “persona” or “personality.” I submit that she doesn’t have enough personality for one person, much less two. And she’s a shitty dancer and an extremely mediocre singer.
January 30th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Yeah, but she’s hot.
January 30th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
She got less hot when she became Oprah’s lesbian crush.
January 30th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Didn’t Oprah have a “lez-be friends” thing for a then-hot Whitney Houston in the ’80s? Oprah’s got some destuctive Mojo.
January 30th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Only Steadman knows the truth, Gino, but if he told you he’d have to kill you. The world needs him to stop that damn Professor Hate.
January 30th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
I upgraded my DirectTV and all I got was this bling-bling.
January 30th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Trying again… Rock n Roll is where it’s at, and this is a better video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkTflRQzCZg
I was never this good with my air guitar…
January 30th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
@ porky1
Stedman’s hanging out with James “Captain Laser” Brolin and a bunch of girls in the French Riviera right now.
January 31st, 2009 at 1:01 am
+ kajillion to FMRA. represent.
January 31st, 2009 at 10:22 pm
@mamrmatard
and after she washes away the presence of jay z’s cock,ill still dive face first into that ass in five years…..
January 31st, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Walked right past Beyonce at the 40/40 a few years back and while she’s not as tall as you might expect, she’s just as fine in person. So what I’m saying basically is, if she would have smiled at me I might have jizzed in my pants. Then I woulda bought another drink.
/gets DirecTV now
February 1st, 2009 at 12:47 am
OMG BEYONCE IZ ON TEH FASEBUk.
February 2nd, 2009 at 10:34 am
Thanks for the post, its good to know about this.