KSK Celebrity Pickkake: The Ghost of Ricardo Montalban
The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Tampa! Up next, it’s the ghost of late actor Ricardo Montalban.
Ah. Yes. Hello, my friends. It is I, the apparition of Ricardo Montalban, made famous by my role on THE FANTASY ISLAND.
I am here to tell you that in the afterlife, there is nothing for you to fear. All of the feelings become sensuous ones. You recall old lovers without bitterness. And all the chairs are furnished with rich Corinthian leather. Truly it is a paradise to behold.
Just the other day, I sat poolside on a chaise lounge, received a blowjob from a woman of exotic extraction while enjoying the warm invitation of a Maxwell House coffee. It was then that I thought to myself why I would fear this at all during my life.
Warm assurances aside, my presence is brought of another purpose. You wish for me to tell you my thoughts on the upcoming, ah, Super Bowl. I do miss the Super Bowl. The boundless energy. The sense of importance. Loose woman at their loosest and drugs at their most potent. What a time to be alive.
When we filmed THE FANTASY ISLAND back in the late 1970s, we were a cultural phenomenon and attracted celebrities across the firmament of the stars. This included the sports world. Surely, members of the Steel Curtain numbered among them. They were brutish fellows, but gentlemen at heart. And L.C. Greenwood introduced me to the exotic dancer who would later become a prized mistress. For that, I am indebted to him always.
For that reason, I am picking the Pittsburgh Steelers. May you bask in the glories of a life richly lived. Before long, I will join you in the lush embrace of our Lord’s everlasting love. Now forgive as I return poolside to my limber friend.
January 26th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Including my beloved wife
January 26th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Awesome. So long as Shatner doesn’t pick the Cards, we should have this in the bag.
So keep your mouth shut, Shat. Or do the logical thing and agree with your nemesis just. this. once.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Ah yes, while the majestic “Cardinale” does fly true with the elegance of a 1972 Chrysler, no one can deny the STRENGTH and dignity of mighty steel, the essence, nay, the very back-bone of this great land.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:00 am
KHAAAAANNNN!!!!
January 26th, 2009 at 11:00 am
From Hell’s heart…I pick for thee.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Tattoo picked the Cardinals
January 26th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Cry havoc, and let loose the dogs of…….
LC Greenwood.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Yeah, you’re allowed to laugh it up, Montalban, while Hervé Villechaize is forced to spend eternity sucking demon cock in Hell.
God fucking hates dwarfs.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:08 am
“With my last breath, I spit at thee….”
January 26th, 2009 at 11:10 am
“Quien es mas macho, Fernando Lamas o Ricardo Montalban?
January 26th, 2009 at 11:14 am
“With my last dollar, I wager on thee…..”
January 26th, 2009 at 11:15 am
“And if you lose, I blubber like a little bitch in a YouTube video at thee…..”
January 26th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Ricardo is now dead to me.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Ricardo drives a Chrysler Cordoba in heaven and bangs chicks in the backseat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIL3fbGbU2o&feature=related
January 26th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Ricardo Montalban was the Most Interesting Man in the World.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Ricardo is now dead to me.
And everyone else, too.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:41 am
In this world, the Steelers are probably going to win the Super Bowl. In the afterlife, they’re giving out free coffee and chaise lounge blowjobs…
/runs into traffic
//don’t get your hopes up, Yinzers.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:48 am
MOOOOONTAAAAAAALBAAAAAAAN!!!!
January 26th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Bah, Ricardo Montalban. I invited that jagoff over for cards last week, he didn’t even know how to play Euchre. Keep asking about “Chemin de Fer” or some dumb shit like that. Yoi.
January 26th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
C’mon Otto, try to keep up.
January 26th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
“Yours is…superior…”
January 26th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
He tasks me. He tasks me and I shall have him! I’ll chase him ’round the moons of Nibia and ’round the Antares Maelstrom and ’round Perdition’s flames before I give him up!
/proves that we are all geeks
January 26th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
I wonder who gets mroe pussy – now-dead Montelban or Fat blubbering Rob?
January 26th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
@ Ape,
Was this your way to give a shout out to Steelers salary cap guru Omar Khaaaaaaaan?
/shows self door
January 26th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
They serve Maxwell House in Heaven? Well, Peter King doesn’t have to worry what kind of coffee they have up there.
January 26th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Old Klingon proverb: Revenge is a dish best served cold….it is very cold in space, Kurt
I hurt you & I plan to keep on hurting you…..Kurt
January 26th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Am I not gay enough to know what a chaise lounge is?
January 26th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Fernando Lamas es un poco mas macho.
January 26th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Break de plane! Break de plane!
/follows Orange Julius’ lead
January 26th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
I miss Ricardo, but I’m glad he went out peacefully, instead of getting shot with dart, falling from the top of a stadium, getting run over by a bus and a steamroller, then trampled by the USC Marching Band.
January 27th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Penultimate paragraph pulsates — pardon the pun — with the spectre of Montalban. Well done, good sir, well done. I am sure that Montalban and Quinn salute you from on high with port in hand and Cohibas upon their lips.