The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Tampa! Up next, it’s first daughters Sasha and Malia Obama.
Michelle Obama: Okay, you guys, tell the nice people who you pick for the Super Bowl.
Sasha: I pick puppies!
[Nearby crowd lets out an "aaaaawwwwwwwww"]
Malia: Noooooooooo, you can’t pick puppies. We have to pick who’s gonna win the Super Bowl.
Sasha: What’s the Super Bowl?
Malia: It’s a big, big football game.
Sasha: Is Beyonce in it?
Malia: I dunno.
Sasha: Well I pick Beyonce. I bet she plays football really pretty.
Malia: But daddy said one of the teams gave us this ball.
[Sasha tosses ball to nearby dog, who runs off with it. Nearby crowd fawns loudly]
Sasha: That puppy got the ball. He just won the Super Bowl.
Malia: I think we have to guess the score.
Sasha: Puppy beats Beyonce one to nothing.
Malia: I don’t really want to go.
[Tears up a pair of $3,000 tickets on 50-yard line, then smiles. Nearby reporter plans 3,000-word puff piece on their first year in school]
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Maybe Sasha and Malia’s puppy can play with Kurt Warner’s daughter’s puppy! Like OMG! I think I’d die of cuteness!
*is temporarily changing his name to Jam Master A1*
Don’t hate on those jackets, Weed, there are grownups who would punch a kitten for one of them.
@johnny drama
excellent married with children ref!
“dustbuster b,are you ok!” “NO! thats grandpa’s hammer!”
Mr. Ape,
I congratulate you on delicately capturing the hopeful essence of Obamamania. While the previous Obama posts have been delightful (see http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2008/10/ocho-and-marvin-barry-%e2%80%93-under-one-roof-the-white-house-episode.html and Michelle’s method of celebration), today’s post brings ridicule of Obamanation and His minions, the liberal media darlings, into our purvey.
Bless you.
“Favorites” Jam Master? I didn’t know there were still people toiling under the oppressive thumb of Explorer out there. Yeah, you really seem to have a keen eye for sinking ships buddy!
Apparently, Jam Master A felt that Ape was being disrespectful to puppies. Those PETA people are tough to please.
Did the kids pick Beyonce or the puppies?
The puppy won 1-0. The game’s already over.
Soooo… am I the only one in fear of the ‘Basket of Pittsburgh’ ad on the pitts post gaze site??
/RIP jam master a(ss).
Just to set the record straight: Did the kids pick Beyonce or the puppies? My Proline depends on this…
I’m still ridin with you.
Jam Master A? David Faustino was a KSK reader?
I kind of wish mmp had written this, just to see jam master’s attempt at typing after gouging his eyes out
And a +1 goes to Weed Against Speed.
JAM MASTER SHOULD HAVE STAYED FOR CHOCO TACOS!!!! HARF HARF
Palin’s daughter was supposed to make a pick, but she disappeared with her mother for three months, then Sarah suddenly appeared picking Pittsburgh.
Jam Master A? more like Jam Master GAY! Am I right?
/high five
Jam Master K is a fucktaster, though
Oh sure, it looks like total despair now, but cheer up, guys: Jam Masters B through Z are still ardent supporters of your site.
OMIGAWD! One commenter left KSK? What will the gay mafia do now?
I agree that we don’t need to know the every movement of these girls. Let them be kids…
/waits for grown up tits tomorrow
//you hear that Chris Hansen? I’m not aroused
@UU – Michael Vick likes Bella to win it all.
http://animal.discovery.com/tv/puppy-bowl/starting-lineup/starting-lineup-02.html
This ranks amongst the darkest days of my pitiful existence. Woe is me.
If theres a better time to get off this sinking ship I dont want to see it.
Oh no, not Jam Master A! He’s been an integral part of this site since never! Christmas Ape, WHAT HAVE WROUGHT?!?!?!?!?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
If theres a better time to get off this sinking ship I dont want to see it.
*favorites
*KSK
*right click
*delete
“he’s such a good father. Unlike that Sarah Palin. Chris Matthews told me so.”
Such knowledge between fatherhood (a man) and Sarah Palin (not a man) does sound like one of the bits of genius that filter out from The Insane Asylum known as MSNBC
I’m waiting for their Puppy Bowl picks.
He’s such a good father. I saw a picture of them posing happily together one time. That’s why he wants to become president is because he’s such a good father. Unlike that Sarah Palin. Chris Matthews told me so.
As cute as the kids are, I’m kinda sick of hearing about them already. Yeah, I know, this is just the beginning of the media slobbering (just as the media slobbered all over every other presidential offspring), but still. They’re kids. They’re not Cabinet nominees (that I’m aware of). After observing that they have changed schools and will live in the White House, that’s pretty much the extent of any newsworthiness.
Pictures of little girls are only illegal if you’re aroused by them.
[Tears up a pair of $3,000 tickets on 50-yard line, then smiles. Nearby reporter plans 3,000-word puff piece on their father's first year in office]
/fixed
I liked the part with the puppy.
@LaFavre: With any luck, he’ll be a two-term president, and by the end of the second term, a post like this won’t be quite so awkward.
(Seriously? Pictures of the little girls, Ape? This can only end well. Are you in cahoots with Chris Hansen?)
This post was brought to you in part by J. Crew.
curse you, liberal media bias!1!1!!!!
I miss the slutty twins.
Every time one of those “Sixburgh” shirts is sold, a puppy dies.
Clearly, they’re Steelers fans. Big Ben is definitely puppy-like.
“I heard mommy say something about ‘celebration weed’ but it’s winter and we don’t have to mow the yard anymore anyway.”
awwwwww