KSK Celebrity Pickkake: Butters Stotch
The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Tampa! Up next, it’s South Park’s Butters!
Well, golly gee gingersnaps fellas, it sure is a big honor to be asked to give you my prediction of what’s gonna happen in the big game. Hooo weee, Super Bowl Sunday, it really is somethin’, ain’t it?
I wish it wouldn’t start so darn late though. Last year I only got to stay up until halftime before my parents made me go nighters. Boy, I sure was steamed. The guys at school said it had a good ending and everything. Speaking of my parents, you’re not planning on using my pick for gambling, are you? Cause if my parents find out I’m wrapped up with the sharks, they’ll ground me for sure.
The game? I do like an underdog and those Cardinals are as underdog as you can get. They have had it rough over the years. Been kicked around by just about everybody. I know that’s no fun. If their fans love their team like I love my Denver Broncos, that’s gotta be one big jackboot to the chompers on a daily basis.
So I’m thinking Arizona is gonna come out on top, because that’ll make Jesus happy and the Cardinals fans will have a reason to hold their heads high. It sure will be swell.
If I had to guess a score, I’d…Hold on, I think I hear my mom calling me.
[Runs around corner]
MWA HA HA HA
It is I, P-Professor Chaos. I care not for weak, timid little underdogs. I want to see them ground into the ashes of failure. I foresee Kurt Warner fumbling the opening snap, Larry Fitzgerald twisting his ankle and his sportswriting dad having to chronicle the whole thing.
Those big bad Steelers will crush your pitiful dreams of respectability. And chaos reigns across the land. An age of discord and all sorts of other badness. I will laugh heartily to behold it.
MWA HA HA HA
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January 28th, 2009 at 11:09 am
ya’ll need to stop letting ape write all these. i’m sick of every celebrity picking the steelers.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:13 am
I feel good having Professor Chaos’s endorsement.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:19 am
@OPM: It appears that Ape was entirely correct for depicting a South Park resident as torn between the two teams.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Optimus: Eastwood and ShamWow guy picked the Cards. Dan Hesse, Watchmen and Rosie didn’t pick anyone. Butters is a little split.
Also, SHUT THE FUCK UP, THEY’RE FICTIONAL FUCKING CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENTS
January 28th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Best. Pick. Ever.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Hey, did anyone see the following in Peter King’s MMQB Tuesday Edition this week:
THIS, DREW, IS A CROCK.
Turns out King wasn’t talking about BDD’s weekly debacling of his writing, but for a second there I thought King was going to try to make a futile attempt to defend himself and his ill-advised use of bullet points, etc…. and I was so happy
January 28th, 2009 at 11:22 am
V-V-V-Vampires!
Sorry you missed the end of last year’s game Butters. It was perfect in almost every respect.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Yeah but who’s General Disarray gonna pick? (Simpsons did it)
January 28th, 2009 at 11:24 am
It says something that I could hear Butters’ voice in that piece.
And Mr. Hankey can’t pick since he’s too busy derailing the Raiders.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:25 am
No lesbians?
January 28th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Yeah but who’s General Disarray gonna pick?
He’s picking the Redskins over the Bills for Lisa’s heart.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:29 am
SHUT THE FUCK UP, THEY’RE FICTIONAL FUCKING CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENTS
HAHAHA. That made me chortle a bit. So you’re saying the Cards are definitely gonna win then.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Vampire Butters is not interested in the Super Bowl, per se.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:53 am
I listen to celebrity gambling endorsements as much as I listen to celebrity political and religious endorsements
January 28th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Butters just can’t get over the time he saw his dad “wrestling” with that other man.
January 28th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Having your team go to the super bowl is like getting too much tail, it’s bad for the creative process. How about the split personalities of Dr. Foreman and Mike “I’m gonna make love in this club” Tomlin?
January 28th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
I pick Bennigans.
January 28th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
I don’t think I’m very happy. I always fall asleep to the sound of my own screams.
January 28th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
This makes it pretty clear that Jesus is picking the Cards and the Devil is picking the Steelers.
January 28th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Don’t blame Butters for picking both teams. He’s just a little bi-curious.
January 28th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
ha ha ha ha ha
well played sir, well played
January 28th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Looks like someone got into their celebration weed a little early.
January 28th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
I heard Butters was picking Arizona because his parents won’t let him choose outside the Mountain Time Zone.
January 28th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Uh, thanks for pushing the lesbian gargoyle a little further down the page.
January 28th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
awww … nutsack
January 28th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Whatever you do, don’t let Butters dance.
January 28th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
Not one “Aww Hamburgers”? FOR SHAME!
January 28th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Actually, APE threatened to lodge another ninja star in Butter’s eye if he didn’t pick the Steelers.
January 28th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Look, we all know Butters is going to spend his Sunday playing Hello Kitty Island Adventure, so it’s not like his pick matters.
January 28th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
BUTTERS!
+1 310ToJoba (but then -1 for being a Yankees fan)
January 28th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Fuck you, Bi-curious man — I mean, uh, Professor Chaos.
January 28th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Butters will be watching the game at Raisins.
January 28th, 2009 at 4:00 pm
Ape conducted this interview with Butters after he finished wrestling a guy at the White Swallow Inn.
January 28th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Butters told me that if he didn’t pick the Cardinals, his mother was going to drive him into the river.
January 28th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=95719326&albumID=1319861&imageID=14180116
Boom. Suck on that.
January 29th, 2009 at 4:50 am
Who’s droppin bombs in there? How about a courtesy flush?!
January 29th, 2009 at 8:52 am
Well hello Mr. Weiner, what do you say???
also, WHY IS THIS HAMBURGER HELPER IN MY MILK?!?!
January 30th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Thanks, Good One….. I couldn’t resist commenting.