KSK Celebrity Pickakke: Brody Jenner
The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in Tampa! Up next, reality TV star Brody Jenner!
Yo, what’s goin’ on? It’s Brody Jenner, and you’re reading Kissing Suzy Kolber dot com!
Who do I like in the Super Browl? Cardinals all the way, baby! Gotta pull for my boy Matty. Yeah, he’s calmed down a bit now, but he used to wing for me when he was at USC. You would not BELIEVE the ass we pulled. I mean, we’re just two brordinary guys who happen to be famous and rich and carefully unshaven with movie star good looks, and for whatever reason we always got the hottest ladies. It’s weird, man. Can’t explain it.
/spends three minutes on BlackBerry
And I been out to his Leinart’s place in Aribrona, too. What? Naw, by then he’d retired that beer bong. Got it BROnzed after he woke up the next afternoon with three Pi Phis in his bed. And one more on the bathroom floor next to the toilet.
/waxes eyebrows
My prediction? Cardinals: 34, Steelers: 23, me and my bros: a lotta great memories and meaningful hugs.
/strips naked and masturbates in front of mirror
January 29th, 2009 at 8:48 am
I bet he has a tramp stamp
January 29th, 2009 at 8:53 am
Rob from NY is looking good after his diet.
January 29th, 2009 at 8:56 am
I bet he uses a #2 attachment for his chest and tummy…thoughts? does anyone think he could potentially use a #3 attachedment?
January 29th, 2009 at 9:07 am
And here I had always thought the only Brody info was on DaBomb.com
January 29th, 2009 at 9:14 am
I hope that bird pecks his eyes out.
January 29th, 2009 at 9:14 am
WHASSUP PARROT HOWS IT GOIN’? I LIKE YOUR FEATHERS.
January 29th, 2009 at 9:15 am
Please tell me the photo is from an upcoming episode of When Animals Attack.
January 29th, 2009 at 9:16 am
There’s something wrong with his chest hair, it’s way too symmetrical, like it was painted on or something. He looks like a chia douche.
January 29th, 2009 at 9:17 am
He’s running out of places to put weird tattoos. Perhaps the back of his ear still has room.
/would run over any member of The Hills without question
January 29th, 2009 at 9:29 am
“My great grandfather got to ride around on a pirate ship, and I’m stuck fighting off the sexual advances of this red bull and rasberry vodka soaked douche bag? Polly wants a fucking mercy killing.”
January 29th, 2009 at 9:30 am
Die. Just drink DrainBRO and die, fuckface.
/shudders
January 29th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Yes.
January 29th, 2009 at 9:41 am
The tattoo is so he remembers his last name…..unfortunately, he always lists it as Rennej.
January 29th, 2009 at 9:46 am
This douche nozzle has nothing in common with the world at large.
/strips naked and masturbates in front of mirror
…
I stand corrected. Let’s give him a chance.
January 29th, 2009 at 9:54 am
The Dread Pirate Broberts.
January 29th, 2009 at 9:59 am
His father’s face is frozen in shock at what his son has become. At least I think that’s the reason.
January 29th, 2009 at 10:10 am
If ever there was a man desperately in need of forced sodomy with a spiked bat . . .
January 29th, 2009 at 10:18 am
So Parrots can sense herpes now? Thats some shit I did not know…
January 29th, 2009 at 10:28 am
I’m Brian Fellows
January 29th, 2009 at 10:29 am
I think all the staff members need some bromance in their lives.
January 29th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Needs more brah, Brah.
January 29th, 2009 at 10:34 am
+1 WAS
January 29th, 2009 at 10:50 am
This reminds me of a great drinking game. Watch 2 Fast 2 Furious and drink every time they say “brah”. It’s impossible to make it through the whole movie.
Do you think when Brodie Jenner masturbates they play some cheesy alt-rock song in the background?
/spank spank spank
/cue Good Charlotte song
January 29th, 2009 at 10:52 am
The most fearsome butt pirate of the Spring Break beaches….BRObeard!
Polly, do us all a favor and peck his eyes out.
January 29th, 2009 at 10:58 am
+1 for Aribrona
+1 to Robinson for Chia Douche
+1 to EMGE
…lots of +1’s. Everybody is funny today. Awesome.
January 29th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Here’s an important question, does he beat off to his own ass? And if yes has he fallen in the sink doing so?
January 29th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Bro!
January 29th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
please tell me that tattoo is a photoshop. otherwise he’s even a bigger jackass than i imagined. which is almost impossible
/foxxy not counting this albino flat ass as beefcake either
January 29th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Where’s your brah Nick Lachey, Brah?
January 29th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
He needs to go on a car ride, with Nick Hogan driving.
January 29th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
I should probably be happy that I don’t know who this guy is but somebody help me out, who the fuck is Brody Jenner? And why is he famous? Is it some Paris Hilton famous for being rich thing? Bruce Jenner’s son? Saw something about The Hills in the comments, is he from that God forsaken show?
/hasn’t watched MTV in at least 5 years
January 29th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
@LSEC: At the risk of sounding like I’m ‘batting for the other team’… I actually think Nick Lachey is ok.
/No I don’t own his album(s?)
January 29th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
I didn’t know who this chest-shaver was so I interrogated Wikipedia
A New York Times review of The Hills described Jenner:
Lauren Conrad’s also keenly attuned to his lovely and sexy affectations, as becomes clear tonight on her date with Hollywood’s junior-varsity womanizer, Brody Jenner. He praises her smile, somewhat by rote, and she protests that it’s flawed, exhibiting some wit on the subject of features that purportedly give a face “character.” This Austenian playfulness about courtship confounds dopey Brody, and he resorts to repeating, dumbly, “You have a beautiful smile.”[4]
‘Nuff said….onto next untalented media whore
January 29th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
That’s a flawed review. There’s nothing resembling wit on The Hills.
January 29th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
January 29th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
She was the Prom Queen!
January 30th, 2009 at 2:02 am
@Cpt
what do you say we cut the chit-chat,A-HOLE