♫Yeah we movin’ on up! Mooooovin’ on up! To da east siiiiide! Moooooovin’ on up! To a deeeeeluxe muthafuckin’ White House, in da ska-ha-haaaaaaa! ♪ Yeah we kickin’ out dat crackah Bush and that lunchlady wife of his and we gonna do dis up Chi-town style, niggas! We gonna party like it’s ya birthday, but if y’all think I’m sharin’ my celebration weed, Y’ALL CRAZY!
Y’all know how HARD it is to get my hands on some shit these days? Muthafuckas stoppin’ me in da park n’ shit all, “Ain’t you married to that one nigga?” And I be all, “Shut up, fool! Just gimme somma dat damn–
[cell phone rings]
Muthafucka, hang da fuck on fuh second…Good morning, this is Michelle Obama…Oh, hello Ms. Couric how are you today?…Alright, Katie then…We’re doing fine. We’re truly inspired on this day. The American people have spoken, and now it’s up to Barack to deliver to America, and the world…Well, thank you, Katie, we certainly appreciate your support…Bye bye now.
Fuck dat bitch. Once my nigga Barry and I git moved in ‘n shit, we lockin’ up all the crackas in America. We startin’ a cracka Auschwitz n’ shit. Don’t y’all be givin’ me that look, muthafuckas. Y’all had y’all’s chance, now we gonna do this up PROPER! We gon hang a giant wooden fork and spoon up in dat big’ol dining hall. We gettin’ a log cabin bong for da Lincoln bedroom n’ shit, and then? WE GON SMOKE SOME WEEEEEEED! WE GON SMOKE SOME WEEEEEED! WE GON –
[cell phone rings]
Damn, fools! Don’t ch’all know I’m plottin’ out my LOGISTICS? Hang on…Good morning, this is Michelle…OPRAH! Hey, girl! Y’all comin’ up tonight?…Well, shit, girl, I just have to suck his dick by MY DAMN SELF then. Yeah, aight girl…Holla.
Com’on now! Let’s get this shit rollin’! Y’all know they spent a hunnud seventy million on this shit today? Think of all the weed we coulda bought with that shit! Hope ‘n change! Change ‘n hope! Smoke some weed! ♫ Ain’t no mountain high enough! And no cracker rich enough! Ain’t no bong dat’s big enough! To git me to give a shit about you, mothafucka! ♪ Aw, shit! Time to go, my niggas! Peace out!
And after all this shit, WE GON DRANK!
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Thank you elvis for the tutorial. Disagree with you about wasting blog space though. Thought lively discussion was the point of blogs where those whose voices might not be heard amid the din of dominant media can express themselves in the manner they see fit.
And Vince I am a Colts fan so I am not in the least bit chagrined by your comment.
Seriously, Smirk–Give it up. I voted for Obama too. I also hate racism. I would go the fuck off on anyone who suggested this shit (i.e. “the post”) was real. And you know what? So would about anyone else you’ve replied to. You’re wasting blog-space by spewing the same self-righteous smugness, over and over again. Every time you respond you make yourself look worse. Your point has been clearly made, as has everyone else’s. It’s time to MOVE THE FUCK ON.
/thought post was hilarious
//knows what satire is and isn’t
///ready for dick jokes now, kthx.
@ Bellichick’s Smirk
You spelled Belichick wrong
@nfsffw
To me it is not so much of the fact that Michelle Obama HAS been ridiculed. I have no quarrel with the “no cow is sacred” school of thought. But the timing and the fashion in which she was skewered in the post comes hard upon the moment in my opinion. This Inauguration might not have been “a sacred cow” for some but I regard it with much significance.
I’ll demonstrate this ,at the risk of coming off effusive, with a story. I was driving home from work on the 19th listening to “News and Notes” on NPR. The host was interviewing a little boy who had played in a Iowan marching band that had entertained Barack Obama when he began his run for the Presidency.
The Host: ” What was it like meeting Barack Obama?”
Boy: “A little freaky.”
Host: “Why was it freaky to you?”
Boy: “Because I have never met a Black President before”
Host:”You know what . . . nobody else has either.”
Up until that moment the import of what would happen the following day had not yet sunk in. I was happy that Obama had been elected in November but I was too overwhelmed by work to reflect on it a great deal. Even when there were talks in subsequent weeks about who would compose his Cabinet I was not attentive. But hearing the moment crystalized in that 20 second exchange moved me in a way that no Commerative Magazine, T-Shirt or TV Special could. I teared up right then and there. The welter of emotions that I felt at that moment were difficult to contain and fathom.
“There will be a Black man leading this nation and there will be a Black Woman at his side” I told myself. I still feel even now that the other shoe will drop. So you might imagine the shock that I received seeing this First Lady being depicted as nothing more than a dope fiend.
But I must admit that you do have a point about the nature of this site. Broad strokes are the ply and trade of this domain and I guess any nuance offered in the humor here would be lost in translation. So I thank you for reminding me to consider the source and the audience as well when writing here.
p.s. I do find the portrayal of Hines Ward as a Chinese man to be a little offensive. He’s an American for chrissakes and speaks English very well in my opinion. And for the record his mom is Korean not Chinese.
@Me Says
I don’t plan on fucking off any time soon. Maybe if you would get away from whatever is giving you that buzz for a moment you might realize that if everyone and everything is fair game for ridicule here that there is always the possibility for disagreement among some about where the slippery slope might lie. If my admonishment of this post cuts your precious buzz than maybe that’s a good thing. Gives you more time to spend with your conscience I suppose.
@ MMP
Good point about who is calling the shots. What was I thinking? Yes the wife of the President is not an elected official and should never ever make any suggestions about how things should be done whether in the Nation or in her own house. She should shut up and mind her own business. And as far as pleasuring you goes I don’t beleive you need any help from me to do that chore. You more than hold your own by spewing your rank ejaculate in your posts. :)
I had the same thought: I don’t remember Michelle running for office.
They will begin the work of restoring this country to its rightful place in the world
They? Really? And who gets to decide what our rightful place in the world is? I guess that place would be imperialistic bully forcing democracy on everyone so we can get oil.
@Jackin’: if you’re cool, I’m cool.
I voted for Obama and despise (actual, real-life) racism with every fiber of my being, and this post made me laugh my balls off. I hope to keep laughing for the next 8 years.
Note to all the prissy schoolmarms who are harshing our buzz and fucking up the normally very funny comment threads: fuck off.
@ Bellichick (sic, BTW)
I just don’t know what else you might expect here. I hope you do enjoy the site, I do. Nothing’s off limits here, be it blacks, whites, asians, jews, males, females, babies, peasants, fat fucks or presidents.
Or God.
Do you have issues with any other demographic or individual being stereotyped and ridiculed?
I think Rob From WI said it best in a couple posts, backscroll if you want.
Last, I didn’t say you’ve given B.O. any “wordy fellatio”, I said, and I quote “If y’all don’t like it, than go find a site where everyone hangs out and gives the guy verbal blow jobs.”
Whether or not you choose to actually suck his or any man’s dick is your choice. As for me, I’ll pass.
@Punter, I thought this was fucking hilarious, mainly because I don’t see anyone else with the balls to skewer our new saviors. Thanks for all the laughs you sick bastards provide.
@jackin’
Joining you in GON DRANK – I’ll buy the first couple 40′s.
/goes into 3 day blackout
Seeing an intelligent Black woman as the First Lady in the White House, calling the shots as it were, might for some bloggers here be too much too swallow and rub them wrong way. I am sorry for your insecurity and pity you.
I don’t remember seeing Michelle Obama’s name on the ballot. What “shots” will she be calling, exactly?
And you pity me? Why? Because I spell “black” with a lowercase b? Blow me.
I’ll weigh in on this discussion…because I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for me to comment.
OK, was this far-fetched and not believeable? YES
Was this pushing the limits of the funny? YES
Did this humor cross the line into racism? NO
Did PUNTE still manage to make it funny? YES (that huge wooden fork and spoon comment did it for me)
Was I offended by Michelle Obama be depicted like this in a blog where most things are not really true? NO
Listen, I voted for the man and defended him in this very blog against the idiot neo-cons for months. I was in DC and braved the freezing cold on the mall for 7 hours just to say I was a part of history and to get a glimpse of the Obamas. They will begin the work of restoring this country to its rightful place in the world and we should all do our part to help push this country in the right direction. Does this mean they can’t be made fun of? No. If Jay Leno was to do a skit like this, we might have to go burn down his studio, but KSK is an equal opportunity offensive site and if we are too thin skinned, then we need to stop reading it.
/Gon drank now
//fuck you crackas
For Assimulated White:
If not lightening up disturbs your enjoyment of this post then skip my comments and be blissfully ignorant of another opinion. You can wade in your ignorance and I won’t feel the need to expend any more energy replying to your posts.
@Phocion
You are putting words into my mouth. I never said that ‘it was impossible’ for an educated black person to smoke weed. I said simply that it is unlikely, a broad difference in comparison but perhaps too subtle for you to comprehend. And to compare Marion Berry to Michelle Obama displays a crude judgment in discerning fact from fiction in my opinion. It assumes that because they are both public figures and black that they surely are BOTH likely to dabble in illegal substances. If that fool Berry does it than there’s no doubt that Michelle Obama, Cause she’s Black and a public figure, will do same. Comparing her to Berry would be akin to me saying that Nixon was cut from the same conservative cloth as George W. Bush taken from. That dog don’t hunt.
@ nfsffw
There are many posts on this website that are insensitive but the difference tween those and this particular post are that they are somewhat reflective of reality. Pacman making it shine or Jerry Jones deriding wade Wade Philips with every possible adipose filled moniker might not be true but possible. Such posts are at times vulgar but funny and are based, however obliquely or accurately, on something that might have occurred.
In contrast making Michelle Obama, who is as far as I know has not been shown to smoke weed in public, out to be a hypocritical, doobie fiend does not jibe with anything that has happened in reality in my estimation. If “nfsffw” you have some article or source which might prove otherwise then please post it here. I would gladly read it.
Humor is risque to be sure but the best humor at least pays some credence to things that occur in life. So far as I know this post fails that “lithmus test” miserably.
And I will stick around on this site because I find much of what it has to offer entertaining and dare I say even insightful. This post to me is nothing more than a ply to get more hits and air out dirty laundry soiled by acridly sour grapes.
p.s. Don’t assume that I fall in lock step with everything the 44th President avows because I am defending his wife. In no part of any of my posts have I given Barack Obama wordy fellatio. That is something of your own fabrication or on your part a secret desire left unfulfilled, yes?
In response to Bellichick’s Smirk comment …
LIGHTEN UP FRANCIS
@ BS and anyone else who has a problem with this:
How many posts do you see here that aren’t insensitive? Do you think the editors are stupid, and just can’t quite grasp the whole concept of political correctness? I love this site because it is SO polititically incorrect, and no subject or person is above getting parodied. If y’all don’t like it, than go find a site where everyone hangs out and gives the guy verbal blow jobs.
Kumbaya, mothafuckas.
You’re right, BS, an educated black person would never be so dumb as to be smokin’ no celebration weed. It is simply impossible to imagine one doing so and therefore completely unfunny. Just, please, pay no attention to that crack smoking, ho loving brotha in public office across town (Marion Barry).
Now, Sandman, where you at? Get this foo outta herah! It’s Showtime!!!
The post at best is insensitive. Yes I will use “the PC shit” as one person posted and would rather demonstrate a mote of intelligence and be accused of being a “pussy” than shrug this off as just some of the bloggers “having a little fun” at Michelle Obama’s expense, saying nothing and being complicit in the idiocy and vulgarity which permeate this post.
I think that to those who may find my comments too serious or high strung I would like to ask them if portraying Michelle Obama, an educated Black woman and lawyer, as nothing more than a doped up version of Ronald Reagan’s “Welfare Queen” offers them comfort in some way. Seeing an intelligent Black woman as the First Lady in the White House, calling the shots as it were, might for some bloggers here be too much too swallow and rub them wrong way. I am sorry for your insecurity and pity you.
Considering that she was an accomplished lawyer before she married Obama I think it highly unlikely that Michelle Obama would smoke a spliff after the Inaugural Ball much less speak as though she were Pacman’s lil sista. I think the fellow who posted here should keep his jokes on football and leave the intelligent, witty political commentary to the Stewarts, Mahers and Colberts of the world.
“YOU KNOW DEYGON PISS TESS YAL BLACK ASS.”
/dying [copyright UM]
FUCK DATS A LOT OF PARTIES, AND CUN YO BALEEVE HOW MANY DUMB FUCK HONKY BAND GEEKS WE STARED AT TODAY? FUCKIN BULLETPROOF GLAZZ MAKE MY GUMS LOOK BIG.
YOU KNOW WE DUN DRANK TOO MUCH BARRY. YOU GON GIT UP N SINE DEM ZECUTIVE ORDAS ON CRACKAH DACHAU NOW’A'WHAT? MAN I GOTTA SHIT, YOU ROLL THAT SPLIFF YET? YOU KNOW DEYGON PISS TESS YAL BLACK ASS.
Funny shit boys. Tommorow they get a set of spinners installed on the limos.
“There’s way less in this thread than there have been in the recent Steelers posts.”
You have a point there. Somehow, the yinzers frighten me more…
pacman for head of tabacco alcohol and firearms
Ah, I missed having Michelle around KSK. Welcome back, you high, crazy bitch you.
Headline on CNN.com: “Obamas juggle inaugural balls”
That shit is awesome
jeez punter that’s just hilarious
@Ocho Cinco Fan Club: lighten up Francis.
And an FYI Pigface Joe, if you’re from Egypt or Algeria, you’re not an African American.
“All the regulars should know this by now: the batshit coo-koo commenters only show up when KSK decides to run a political post… as soon as there is a few football posts, they go away, and we can go back to the way we were.”
There’s way less in this thread than there have been in the recent Steelers posts.
thanks, Punte. was counting on this.
/breakin’ out my celebration hash too
Well, at least we can all make fun of Asians.
I am proud in the fact that we elected the first half-white president!!! Something I have always wondered. If you are American, but are a blonde, blue-eyed white man of South African decent…are you still considered an African American?
@Rob in WI,
“Maybe that’s just my sad, sad world.” If you live in Madison, I can see why… usually people around colleges are waaaaaay to full of P.C. bullshit. I think the guy is awesome, but as I see it, if a joke is at least funny/clever, then I will give it its due chuckle.
@TDub
Normally I’d agree… but this is really how it’s been since election day… nobody is willing to laugh at the guy, and if you make a joke, you get the stare of daggars.
Maybe that’s just my sad, sad world.
im waiting for barackjangles to insert a Jeff Fisher fist-pump
as soon as there *are* a few football posts.
Black guy weighing in here…
To be fair, there was a post where all the white members of Fox NFL Sunday were murdered or anally raped by Cleatus the robot so these “knuckle-draggers”(quoting a white friend) hate everyone equally.
Keep up the good work fellas. The night still belongs to Michelob.
All the regulars should know this by now: the batshit coo-koo commenters only show up when KSK decides to run a political post… as soon as there is a few football posts, they go away, and we can go back to the way we were.
Jesus, everyone needs to just take a step back, chill out, and smoke some of the First Lady’s weed.
/hits bowl
THEYRE FUCKING EVERYWHERE! terrible towel waving seen along the presidential parade route…..no bullshit…..
Jeez punter couldn’t you have waited at least a day?
Just so we’re clear… blasphemy is ok, but making fun of the Obamas is off limits?
This is going to be a LOOONG 4-8 years.
@Obamajangles, quite the contrary. He just came up with a clever way to call you a bigot so you got your panties all up in a bunch.
In a Clint Eastwood vein, people need to stop being pussies and let go of all the PC bullshit and just roll with it. If I know asian people who though it was funny that he said gooks every 2 words in Gran Torino, then white folk should cut the bullshit and let other white people make fun of black people.
Get over it, you thinned skin shits. If you tune in here and laugh at all the Hines Wald Smirels, all the THE BEN, all the Tawmmy from Quincy (to say nothing of all the Bush=retard/chimp/hitler for the last 8 years) then this is of the same cloth…grow a set, willya, already.
+ Chronic, KSK
Why does this racism offend me but Ape’s doesn’t? Oh right, because he’s actually funny.
One step over the line on this.
Extremely shameful, and not in any cool or ironic way.
Just total stupidity and you should be ashamed and embarrassed.
Why KSK?
Too bad R. Lee Ermey can’t be at the White House to welcome President Obama (PBUH) with his intro speech from Full Metal Jacket.
Actually, that should be done for every president (and his/her cabinet) from now on.
TBG is too stupid to post.
Someone let me know when they swear in #45. Thanks.
OMFG! there is definite change going on! NBC reporter at the Presidential Parade route says she keeps hearing music and seeing people in the crowd doing the Electric Slide!!!! HAHAHAHA!
i wonder how ole barry obama is gonna get a ball of blow now. (cell phone rings) “Shit,its barack again. I still aint answering,that dude is POLICE”…..scarface room will hold much less importance now…..
Wait, so does the butt plug make people delusional too or is that just the necessary accessory for crack smokers?
For all you tards who think BushychimpMcHitler (who went to Yale AND Harvard) is going to jail, the oceans will recede, and planet will cool and the economy will be rejuvenated because we elected Kingfish Obamajangles to President, put down the crack pipe and get your partner’s butt plug out of mouth.
Wow, never mind fuck CNN. Fuck it I’m goin back to bed.
Oh shit, I thought it was earlier, never mind my earlier comment.
CHUH CHUH! Too bad I slept through the inauguration.
No, no, no… it’s not racist. This post would be racist if she was smoking crack. Duh, know your stereotypes. The above is just a good-natured ribbing.
RE MSP1 Says:
“Slash, I see your point but being an ex-Klansman like Byrd has to count for something.”
Well, the collective anguish of millions of racists is pretty enjoyable. Every time I think of some old white person claiming to be “scared” that Obama will be president, it kinda makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Having a dummy as president for 8 years didn’t frighten them, but a Harvard-educated black man does? Retards.
WOoo HooooO… is all I got to say! The time has come for change! Hope!
@Miked. That scarface room shit cracked everyone up in the office. A co-worker wanted to add the 2pac/Biggie RIP airbrushed canvas that will be hanging in the oval office is another standard for decorating a room!
if there was ever a time that the tag “jeeze Punter that’s just wrong” fit….
Best. Day. EVAR.
Can we stick Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, etc. in irons now, or do we have to wait for official charges or something?
Knew. Shit.
I also “believe” that Dr. King new how to spell.
I belive it was Dr. King’s real dream that black and white could come together and get really toasted.
@ Speak English
I figure in 4 years it will be a bit more subdued. You know, since it will be Barack’s 2nd inaguration, and nothing tops the first.
“YES MUTHAFUCKA I WANT SOME TANG!”
“No Madam First Lady, I was referring to the Chinese prime minister…”
“Ah sheeeet…..put him in the Scarface room, I’ll be right out.”
“…this post could be considered racist.”
Have you read this site before, genius?
Pacman talking like Kingfish is funny. Michelle “Popeye” Obama talking like that is not?
Adjust your panties Hef…
“Yes we gon drink! My first executives order is to pardone that motherfuckin’ Vick! No one gives 2 shits about dem dogs, no one gave 2 shits about dem years of oppression neither. Also, Newports iz da squares of choice for true playas! Ya heard that?!”
True story per tim couch
I might be childish, but this whole spectacle feels like a nice swift kick in Bush’s shin. Or ass. Or teeth. All three?
It’s puff-puff-give, not puff-puff-puff, so pass that shit!
Wait, so ‘Speak English or Die’ didn’t vote for Obama? Color me shocked!
Obama couldn’t hang in my generation, straight up. Seriously, that dude couldn’t wear my loin cloth.
I gots my Kools, a bag a construda and a case of Miller. Bring on the man!
Too bad Mr Bentley isn’t alive to see this
RIP Dec.2008
Fish don’t fry in the kitchen!
Beans don’t burn on the grill!
Took a whole lotta tryin’
Just to get up that hill.
Now we’re up in the big leagues!
Gettin’ our turn at bat!
I keep picturing the Chappelle skit with the reparations. That was comedy gold.
Ummm…I’m not sure if anyone mentioned this yet, but this post could be considered racist.
I’m just sayin…