If It Bleeds, We Can Cover It
Larry Fitzgerald? Pfft. Ike Taylor can totally cover that guy!
/checks stats from last time Steelers played Cardinals
OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT
AND THAT WAS A GAME IN WHICH MATT LEINART HAD 14 OF THE 35 BUZZSAW PASS ATTEMPTS!
It’s like he’s catching all the passes… one at a time. LIKE A HUNTER!
Do something Ryan Clark! Feed him those salmonella crackers! He loves those!
Tags: fitty, these two weeks are gonna kill me, Ufford Photoshops, xmas ape
January 20th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
It looks like my man Anquan wasn’t playing that day either. They gon catch, oh, they gon catch.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
That’s one ugly motherfucker.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Hines wasn’t playing that day either, LaFavre, so let’s not go nuts. And Polamalu got hurt in the first half.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
If Danny Glover can kill it then it shouldnt be that hard.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Someone needs to photoshop James Harrison breaking a razor on his face.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
What the hell are YOU, Ape?
January 20th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
So Pittsburgh will prevail in the end, but the stadium will get blown up at the end of the game, killing tens of thousands of Steelers fans?
I can live with that.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Fitty has a weakness for crackers.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Ape, look at Fitty’s eyes. He doesn’t care what that friggin’ polynesian pussy does. He gon catch!
January 20th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
And indeed, looking at the game log, ‘Zona didn’t score until the 2nd half. Not to mention this was week 4, last year. Our team has evolved into a wrecking ma-chine since then.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
Only one thing to do to stop Fitty: “James! Lamar! Get to the QUARTERBACK!”
January 20th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
WHEN THE BIG MAN WAS KILLED, YOU MUST HAVE WOUNDED IT. ITS BLOOD WAS ON THE LEAVES.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
VAT’S ZE MATTAH TROY? GOVUMENT GOT YOU PUSHING TOO MANY PENCILS?
January 20th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Now Ufford needs to do a photoshop of a Polamalu/Alien hybrid.
January 20th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
Stevie Breaston aint returning no punt for a TD in the Super Bowl.
/ keeps telling himself this is true
January 20th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
That defensive backfield is a bunch of slack-jawed faggots!
January 20th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Ape is a cool cat, but I love the way his eye twitches when he talks about the Steelers’ secondary.
January 20th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Ape is a cool cat, but I love the way his eye twitches when he talks about the Steelers’ secondary.
Uh, maybe I did in 2003. They’re pretty good this year.
January 20th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Warner’s passes make you a sexual tyrannosaur… Just like me.
January 20th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
I am not even going to watch this SB, we all know the Cards have no chance.
January 20th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I didn’t know MF Doom played for the Cardinals?
/Google it
January 20th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Whaddya worried about? It’s not like he scored any touchdowns last time.
January 20th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Larry Fitzgerald is not Predator.
Chris F*$#ing Horton is Predator.
That is all.
January 20th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
@Captain Caveman,
You avatar looks like a sexual Tyrannosaurus…like me!
January 20th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
puttin on the ritz
January 20th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Neil Rackers once watched “Predator 2″ on TBS, then garroted a stripper he had locked in his basement with her own silk stocking.
True Story
January 20th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Carl Weathers For Governor of Arizona!
January 20th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
I wouldn’t wish the Buzzsaw defense on a broke dicked dog…AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
January 20th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Yeah Ape. Nothing to worry about. Especially because the Steelers ran so well in that game too! You’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m sure 37 yards out of Willie Parker will be enough…
January 20th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
We’re all gonna die. True story.
January 20th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
@ Doc: That would be impressive. If Tim Couch hadn’t been moved by the same movie to take a trip to Guatemala and slaughter an entire rural village…after engaging in ocular sex with the women. Funny, his wife found the remnants of one of their retinas on his balls when he got home. He said “hey, baby, I got that in case you needed a retinal transplant. Let’s fuck.” And then she said OK and they did.
True Story.
January 20th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
these two weeks are gonna kill me
Hey everyone! It’s been 17 exciting weeks of football and three weeks of awesome playoff matchups leading up to a crescendo of excitement as the final matchup between the top two teams is set! LET’S TAKE TWO WEEKS OFF!!!
/NFL
January 20th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
@Slothrop: FACT: We’re all gonna die. FACT!
January 20th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Leinert, jeez you’re a big pussy. Jeez you’re a big pussy.
January 20th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Well, Arizona does make Cambodia look like Kansas.
January 20th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
@Otto Man I’m sure you meant that AZ makes Kansas look like Cambodia.
/Sure would like a little pussy.
January 20th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
I don’t have time to bleed.
/Get to da choppah!
January 20th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Reporter: Can you cover these receivers?
Tomlin (in best Arnold voice): No Deal!
January 20th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Praying Caldinarrs in champoncheep like fighting the cosmetics countel rady in Thundeldome. No honor. Evelybody knows this.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:11 pm
@lengthy
Come on, Tomlin is clearly Carl Weathers in this situation.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:55 pm
And just like in the movie, the OTHER governor (Jesse Ventura as played by Bill Cowher) isn’t there for the final act.
January 21st, 2009 at 1:00 am
I’m curious, since Arizona doesn’t play Sunday and therefore Edgerrin James will get no carries this week, is he going to quit the team? It could create a distraction that would prove beneficial to the Steelers.
January 21st, 2009 at 8:56 am
Game over, man!
/Confusing Predator with a far superior movie in the same genre
January 21st, 2009 at 10:27 am
All Warner will be able to say during the game is “GET DOOOOWN!”, or “IM HEEEERE COME KILL ME”
Fitzgerald is awesome, but the buzzsaw hasnt seen a defense like this all season.
January 21st, 2009 at 11:04 am
That Casey Hampton, he’s dug in the middle of that line like an Alabama tick
January 21st, 2009 at 11:25 am
buzzsaw
meatgrinder
what’s the diff
January 21st, 2009 at 12:19 pm
I’ll repeat what I said last week.
DON’T FUCK THIS UP CARDINALS!!!
January 21st, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I know two weeks seems like a long time to wait, but…
STICK AROUND.
January 21st, 2009 at 1:41 pm
BEELLLLLEEE!!
January 21st, 2009 at 2:54 pm
If Kurt has time to lob it up, Fitz will methodically come down with that shiznitt! HH@showoffsports.com