If I Were God, I Would Be SO Pissed Right Now

I grew up thinking that burning a church down would be a terrible thing to do. But no, actually. Turns out that was wrong. There’s a time and a place for everything.

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55 Responses to “If I Were God, I Would Be SO Pissed Right Now”

  1. Ted Says:

    She thinks Steeler fans have “garden parties?” Where would they put the burned out Camaro?

  2. eddiebear Says:

    Wait! There are gardens in Pittsburgh?

  3. Hustler of Culture Says:

    Well if she lives in Pittsburgh, then she doesn’t have to fear hell….

  4. Day Man: Fighter of the Night Man Says:

    You want another reason to root against the Steelers? Both Rush Limbaugh and that ass hat Bret Michaels from “Rock of Love” are Steelers fans.

  5. 5823111 Says:

    You have got to be shitting me. I’ve seen it all now, die Steeler fans.

  6. Major Mel Funkshun Says:

    The fact that this building is still standing, proves, without a shadow of a duoubt, that there is no GOD! NO ONE DENIES THIS!

  7. Phocion Says:

    Bartender!!! A round of Molotov Cocktails for all my friends!

  8. Upstate Underdog Says:

    I bet each and everyone of those chorus members owns a cat.

  9. Christmas Ape Says:

    No communal bacon vodka for you, Ufford.

  10. Jefferson Short Bus Says:

    I can’t root for either of these squads. How many points is the meteor getting?

  11. Feats of Strength Says:

    Mah earz! Tha bleeding!

  12. Rocco Says:

    @Day Man: Huh? I still like to refer to Brett Michaels as from Poison. Guess I’m just old.

    /I’d actually rather the Bills never make the Super Bowl and avoid the KSK beatings.

  13. Animal Mother Says:

    I guess there’s always Scientology. If only it weren’t based on sci-fi. Now if it was a religion based on watching sci-fi movies every Sunday, then you’d have something.

    Bartender, another round of Bacon-tini’s for me and my friends.

  14. Otto Man Says:

    Sacrilicious!

  15. LaFavre's Next Retirement Says:

    Jeez, no wonder Ape is gay.

  16. Your Wife's Lipstick Says:

    They put this on youtube? It’s like they’re proud of themselves, that this was some sort of musical accomplishment. I would rather listen to cats fornicate…

  17. qwijibo Says:

    Lord, though we have lost Plaxico Burress to free agency and Alan Faneca to the Jets, still we hope our beloved Steelers can bring home another super bowl championship and once again bathe in the glory of your light. Amen.

  18. senor mullet Says:

    i dont like listening to cats fornicating so i huff glue, eat a can of cat food and drink a beer before i go to sleep each night

  19. Otto Man Says:

    Rob Thomas and Sinbad are coming to get you, senor mullet.

  20. 85 Says:

    CC, I don’t know why you put yourself through this. I can only imagine all your walls have fist holes in them.

    I’m going to be able to hear the goddamn pep rally at Heinz field this afternoon from my apartment window. I’m gonna need a liter of bacon bourbon just to get me through the day.

    At the risk of being redundant, die yinzers die.

  21. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    Unfortunately, God placed Chad Pennington in charge of hurling the fire and brimstone at the church

  22. Luther Says:

    LOL@ caveman. That’s not a church choir, it’s The Pittsburgh Camerata that just happens to use Mt. Lebanon United Lutheran Church for some performances.

    Maybe you should change the tag to “factually inaccurate posts to bait Steelers haters.”

    http://www.pittsburghcamerata.org/

  23. G.G. Says:

    @ Luther: you’re right- it’s totally NOT gay now.

  24. Upstate Underdog Says:

    What happened to sexy Friday?

  25. Day Man: Fighter of the Night Man Says:

    @ Rocco

    I just figured most people knew him from that stupid show

  26. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    Pittsburgh has a camerata? That’s even worse!

  27. StuScottBooyahs Says:

    I’ve got all their albums!

    /Luther

  28. Upstate Underdog Says:

    @Luther, “a professional chamber choir dedicated to performances of sacred and secular music”. So they do sing church songs and God should be pissed.

  29. Mo Charlo Says:

    This is most unsexy.

  30. willsy Says:

    FUCK FUCK FUCK rape and kill me now. the only thing worse than listening to these blasphemous dipshits is listening to Tony Cuntheisers opine his ” commentary” and “expert analysis.” Fuck. Them . ALL!

  31. Luther Says:

    LOL @ upstate, I guess you missed the secular part? If it was a church service, then the two altar candles (placed between the Cross and represent the two natures of Christ: human and divine) would be lit.

    Nice try though.

  32. gamecock_nibbler Says:

    I don’t get the hate. It’s not like Steelers fans as a group think they’re better fans than any other city or that their team is always superior others (see New Englanders). It’s just that they’re batshit crazy about their team and like to celebrate when their team does well.

    And in the end, isn’t that what fandom is?

  33. Rocco Says:

    Are you questioning my fandom?

  34. Luther Says:

    @StuScottBooyahs -Actually, I own one: A Pittsburgh Wassail – A Christmas Celebration of Our European Heritage.

    You may have missed that one from the link above due to the balls you take to the face causing and eye injury, just like Stuart Scott…except for him it was a football.

  35. The Pirate Sloth Says:

    God should still be pissed – they’re still in one of his houses signing about the fucking Steelers.

    /has a Steeler loving, Pittsburgh living good friend who texts him at 8am every morning with: HERE WE GO GO GO PITTSBURGH IS GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!
    //wants to kill said friend

  36. LaFavre's Next Retirement Says:

    @Father Luther – Do you diddle little boys?

  37. Rob in WI Says:

    So, is church choir (despite what luther says), pretty much the Anti-Sexay Friday?… cuz, you know, I’m less likely to want to touch myself if there’s a church choir blasphemously singing.

  38. Luther Says:

    LOL @ the mouth breathers.

    Luther knows culture…he must be gay.

    Luther knows Christian symbolism…he must be an ordained child molester.

    “OOOOOOOOOOO, Luther attacked one of our sack gargling clique brethren, break out our secret weapon: attack him with the gay!”

    Must suck to hate the Steelers and get the smack down from a Steelers fan.

  39. Rocco Says:

    4:36 PM, EST. No sexy yet. Just sayin’. I’d hate to not see the sexiness till Saturday or Sunday. You guys do such a good job bringing the sexy.

  40. G.G. Says:

    @Luther: you’re not confusing the Steelers with Stryper are you? They DO wear similar-looking uniforms.

  41. Mike Says:

    @Dan Man: How old are you?

  42. LaFavre's Next Retirement Says:

    @ Culture boy – you seem to be a little on the sensitive side too.

  43. Colts and Hoosiers Fan Says:

    Holy shit, someone is getting punched right in the baby maker for this. I’m serious, someone has to die.

  44. Warren Moon Pie Says:

    With a life expectancy hovering around 45 in Pittsburgh, it’s no wonder they think God has forsaken them.

    So they pull shit like this in his house.

  45. mini dagger Says:

    if you play it backwards, you can hear satan commanding you to wave a towel.

  46. J.L. White Says:

    I always thought that, due to all the pollution in Pittsburgh, the women there would sound like Phyllis Diller after swallowing sandpaper.

    /Steeler fans are a million times worse than Pats fans, and this thread is proof

  47. Boatdrinks Says:

    Apparently separation of church and state does not also mean separation of church and football. Damn,

  48. Harry and the Hendersons Says:

    This is pretty much the most awesome thing ever. I love all the haters.

  49. Degenerate Says:

    Kill all fuckers from that video.

  50. jackin'4beats Says:

    Now we know why Justin Strelczyk killed himself. I could just imagine those horrifying sounds in his head every day. What a shame.

  51. bobby steels Says:

    @ Luther

    come on man, nobody but Steeler fans have to like the Steelers or their fans. Hell, I’m a huge fan, but I hate most of you yinzer pricks.

    Just suck it up and take the abuse, because at the end of the day, we’re in the Super Bowl and their teams aren’t. Why the fuck does it matter what other people think of the Steelers or the team’s idiot fanbase?

  52. Luther Says:

    @jackin4beats: Your post would be funny if there wasn’t an organic cause posthumously discovered for Strzelczyk dementia: chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE).

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dementia_pugilistica#Famous_cases

    http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/15/sports/football/15brain.html

  53. flubby Says:

    No, it’s still pretty fuggin’ funny.

  54. Nate Newton's van Says:

    Limbaugh’s a Steeler fan?

    Kill! Kill! Kill!

  55. Holy Hand Grenade Says:

    /Proceeds to kill and burn every black and yellow object he sees >:(

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