He Hung Himself With a Guitar String
YOUR JEFF GEORGE MEMORIAL LEAST OF THE WEEK is pretty fucking obvious. Jake Delhomme put on a truly Favreian performance in primetime on Saturday night, one that will surely haunt him for years to come. Or until he hangs himself. Of course then he’d turn into a ghost, what with all of his unfinished sucking left left on accomplish on Earth. I assume he’d be charged with the task of haunting Bank of America Stadium by tossing footballs at unsuspecting members of the opposing team and leaving crawdad shells all over the locker room. What I wonder is whether a ghost can be haunted while simultaneously haunting others? But all of this takes away from the thesis of this post, that Jake Delhomme is a complete fucking trainwreck of a quarterback. And that’s why Mr. 6 turnovers is your Least of the week.
Huh, this post certainly took a strange turn. Maybe that’s because I had another post ready to go based off of Black Sports Online’s excellent highlight reel of Delhomme’s suck set to Beck’s Loser (hence the headline) only to see it removed from YouTube by some fucktasting lawyer. Fuck Beck with Delhomme’s dick.
UPDATE: The video lives on in BuzzCuts form! It’s also back up at Black Sports Online.
Tags: Fuck Beck, jeff george memorial least of the week, KSK-BuzzCuts, Posts that only make sense if you're really high, Unsilent Majority, White Pass
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January 13th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
somewhere in New Jersey, Eli Manning lets out a sigh of relief.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Even though it doesn’t mention his total sucking last weekend, I always loved this clip.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Jake is a fuckup, but Eli did have a funnier loss.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
…he’d be charged with the task of haunting Bank of America Stadium by tossing footballs at unsuspecting members of the opposing team and leaving crawdad shells all over the locker room.
And Delhomme would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for those meddling kids.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
It’s amazing just how much suck a semi-athlete like Delhomme can get away with as long as he had ONE good quarter of football (in this case the 4th quarter of the Superbowl.)
Everyone is still convinced he’s somehow this really good quarterback who just catches bad breaks. He probably kills a team’s soul more than that mediawhore Favre ever did.
If Steve Smith doesn’t catch a pass until the 3rd quarter, you’re a pisspoor quarterback. It’s Steve Fucking Smith! I’d call audibles at the line like “I’m throwing this shit to Steve Smith. Try and fucking stop him!” at the top of my lungs, and still score 80 points a game.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Eli actually had a lower passer rating, though of course Delhomme’s pitiful total was inflated by that meaningless 4th quarter TD. I guess then I’m only pointing this out to reiterate that Eli sucks.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Fuck Beck with Delhomme’s dick.
Nah, Jake would miss and end up sticking his dick into that guy from Gnarls Barkley.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I vote for the coaching staff having no freaking clue that perhaps it would make a leeetle sense covering MR. RUN ALLOVER YOU LARRY FITZGERALD. Having watched Larry go apeshit (sorry Ape) all over SU one fall day while sitting in a bar with my brothers and sister, enjoying a great day and having Larry buzzkill it all to death, I know the feeling of the Panther fans.
Delhomme sucked too. Bigtime. But would he have sucked as bad if the hole he was climbing out of was shallower? We’ll never know.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
Jake Delhomme – choking on the splinters
also, I now have a banner ad to watch a video from Beck’s new album.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
To be fair to Favre he did throw 6 INTS against the eventual NFC Champions, The St. Louis Rams. Not against some craptastic Cardinals defense. I mean it’s not like they could possibly make it to the Super Bowl!!! haha….oh wait they are playing the Eagles, a team that normally loses NFC Championship games? And are playing them at home no less?? Never mind.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
the daytime crap of the folk singer slob
January 13th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Yeah, Favre can suck like a champion.
I don’t think there will be many complaints about this least of the weak.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Jake the Fake was indeed terrible, and pretty much torpedoed his team’s chances. At 34 with arm surgery having sapped some of his arm strength, he might be done sooner rather than later.
Still, calling him a one-quarter wonder is silly. He’s had a good career, especially for someone from the football factory that is Louisiana-Lafayette….who was never drafted.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
in Eli’s defense he was playing in a really windy meadowlands, so if its a toss up then Delhomme should get it.
/Giants apologist
January 13th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
i am blunted and you are correct
January 13th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Ah yes, the over-hyped, undrafted quarterback. Behold, the future of Tony Romo!
At least Romo never made a commercial as gay as the “Biscuit Defender.”
January 13th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
Aside from his 3rd quarter kickoff, Tiny Darren was an incredible letdown.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
For allowing the Arizona Cardinals to advance to the NFC Championship, Jake Delhomme doesn’t deserve the Least of the Week. He deserves to have 6 footballs crammed up his ass.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
@Slideshow Bob
If it’s a “toss up” then someone from the Cards or Eagles would get it. Certainly no one in a Panthers or Giants jersey.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Slap a turkey neck and it’s hangin from a pigeon wing.
-Terry Bradshaw
also, the new beck album is advertised at the top of this page right now.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
Is there any chance we can stop with the “Jake the Fake”, “Tony Homo”, “Ocho Stinko” type name calling? We get it, you can rhyme. Fox Sports is over there.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
dont let john fox/jeff davidson off the hook–(faux) ’smash and dash’ had 9 carries in the first half, despite effortlessly scoring a td on the first drive…..
but yeah jake should pretty much kill himself
January 13th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
i am sure that beck wouldn’t have pitched a fit if the montage was set to broken train; or nobody’s fault but my own; or lord only knows; or sissyneck; or he’s a mighty good leader; or already dead.
as a matter of fact – looking at the song titles in his catalog, his music is probably an obfuscated rumination on the fortunes of his fantasy football team.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Giants Steve Smith sees your 5 INTs and raises you a hilarious no-hit fumble.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
If Beck gets fucked with Del Homme’s dick, does that mean Jake will contract Scientology?
Also, I’m really high.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
http://www.blinkx.com/video/jake-delhomme-loser-video/KScIxONT_MuL4E8XItofGA
Get the Video while you can.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
@Mo Charlo
Now at the top of the web page is the Alltel ad about “the diamond everyone wants to touch”. Ironically, that’s the exact same line I use on women to talk about my wang. Oddly enough, it has never gotten me laid…..
January 13th, 2009 at 3:47 pm
@ Day Man
Does that make it the “hope” diamond?
January 13th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
@Morel
Touche good man…..touche…
January 13th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
@um: the verb you’re looking for in the lede is hanged; as in:
were it a just world, delhomme would’ve taken off his jersey and hanged himself with it.
January 13th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Never trust a QB from the bayou.
They are 75% more susceptible to hexes, curses, and voodoo dolls.
January 13th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
CRAMBONE!
January 13th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
I’ve got a couple of couches, sleep on the loveseat.
On an unrelated note. Last winter, an Australian bet me $5 that I didn’t know every single word to that song. That Australian lost those $5.
January 13th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
Is “White Pass” like “White Shadow”? Then we would have to call Unsilent Majority “Salami”.
/Still really high.
January 13th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
“Fuck Beck with Delhomme’s dick.”
You’d end up missing badly and giving it to Eagle Eye Cherry
January 13th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
There should be a clip made with “Give It Away” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. “Give it away, give it away, give it away, Jake! Give it away, give it away, give it away, AGAIN!”
January 13th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Damn, that was a Favre-ian playoff performance. But can Delhomme work the land?? Inquiring minds want to know…
January 14th, 2009 at 12:45 am
Just to let everyone know the video is back up and running. Have a good one