YOU CAN’T BEAT PEYTON WITH LONG HAIR! HE’S LIKE SAMSON! Well, after the first day of playoff games, in which the Colts are one-and-done yet again, Edgerrin James and Mike Scifres are quixotically your two standout performers. Yes, the two division winners from the weakest divisions beat out two Wild Card teams fawned over by the media in startlingly entertaining contests. We can only hope Sunday offers similar treasures.
Thanks NBC for the total paucity of crowd shots in the opening game. And for “Ice, Ice Baby” vignette with Matty Ice.
Mike Ryan, who Matty Ice appearently ruined for life in a car accident, was on hand to watch his brother’s rookie year humbling. And show as little emotion as possible while doing so. C’MON CLAP OR SOMETHING MIKEY ICE!
That taint tackle: it is brutal in its efficiency. And unfortunate bruises.
“Hey, you Cardinals break up the sodomy fest. Don’t me get the hose. Or sock you in the marbles. Or get Leitch to gently massage them.”
Marmalard is ever the generous resource of ridiculous facial mannerisms and this was the best of the night. Which is why we’re enjoying the douche for at least one more week.
Oh San Diego, you are a fine repository of impossibly bosomed cheerleaders. We’ll miss you when you’re gone.
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I bet Pey Pey couldn’t pull through in this one because he felt it necessary to head up to Chicago for a hippie jam band concert last tuesday (I can vouch for this, I was there). Interestingly enough, Neck Beard was also in attendance, and he was getting the fuck down the whole show.
Pey-Pey was done in when somebody switched his Herbel Essences with Suave. Everybody knows that Herbel Essences gives him his strength; Suave is his kryptonite.
i actually prefer the smooth linoleum floors as opposed to having carpet.dont care what color the curtains are
“Man, what a wonderful place San Diego must be where even the Asian girls are stacked.”
they don’t sell implants where you live?
and, Filipina is not “Asian”
/redheads no less attention whores than blondes. i’ve been both
Jeebus H Krishna do you people stay up all night jacked up on Speedballs and redbull or something?
Poor Redheads. I should post something supportive (possibly in haiku) which paints me as sympathatic to their plight but it really is logical they keep getting asked the carpet/drape question. In my extensive study of women, through hours and hours of magazine, porn, and strip club reasearch, I’ve learned a natural redhead is a lot rarer a find than a natural blonde. I’d say 1 out of every 5 blondes comes from a peroxide bottle but it’s closer to 1 out of 9 for redheads.
Of course, this is all rendered moot if you’re one of them dirty girls who embraces the whole pre-pubescent look.
For the Record:
The above depicted Blondes & Brunette are just fine by me
/wonder if they can cook
//who gives a shit if they can cook
@ Genny,
Well brunettes are fine man
And blondes are fun
But when it comes to getting a dirty job done
I’ll take a red headed woman
A red headed woman
It takes a red headed woman
To get a dirty job done
Well listen up stud
Your life’s been wasted
Til you’ve got down on your knees and tasted
A red headed woman
A red headed woman
It takes a red headed woman
To get a dirty job done
Tight skirt, strawberry hair
Tell me what you’ve got, baby, waiting under there
Big green eyes that look like, son
They can see every cheap thing that you ever done
Well I don’t know how many girls you’ve dated, man
But you ain’t lived til you’ve had your tires rotated
By a red headed woman
A red headed woman
It takes a red headed woman
To get a dirty job done
-Bruce Springsteen “Red-Headed Woman”
/maybe he’ll play this one at SB?????/
when will we get the cards’ horseriding td celebration in animated form? :]
Ahhh, waking up to cheerleaders in the morning. I knew you guys would come through.
Actually I thought I spied a brunette Chargers cheerleader with real boobs, meaning they weren’t squished together trying to make one good one. It gave me hope for humanity, although I am continually amazed at the amount of makeup NFL cheerleaders wear. At a Ravens game some of the cheerleaders were walking around the stadium before the game and out of curiosity I asked one heavily-painted girl how long it took to get her makeup on. She told me an hour “and that’s short compared to some of the others.”
And as a redhead–okay, auburn-haired–myself I also get the carpets/drapes question.
Ladanian is a bitch, didnt Ronnie Lott chop his leg off to play in a game? yet year after year the fake LT comes up small when it matters most. good thing they always hav a good backup for him.
cant wait to see him sit out next week.
I’ll take Charger Girl #2 myself. Man, what a wonderful place San Diego must be where even the Asian girls are stacked.
Also, I did notice that during the first game there were exactly ZERO shots of either the crowd (unless you count Brother Ice) or the cheerleaders. Meanwhile, they’d cut to a closeup of a Charger Girl every time a SD player so much as fielded a punt.
Therefore, one can only surmise the women in Phoenix are off-putting and unattractive.
Boobs are always better in corsets.
redhead,wow! does……oh nevermind,apparently youve already been asked….
polly pocket sproles tore it up,and scifres is the meast for making the ball do whatever the fuck he wanted it to (well,except for those two times when he told the ball to not get intercepted in the endzone and not to fumble at the 2)
@steve
I was going to say “it’s cause there’s only the one brunette” but realized: 1. I couldn’t swear to that and 2. Half those bitches (if not more) are brunette, they’ve just got peroxide addictions. That’s why I love being a red head. We stand out in crowds and get asked highly inappropriate questions regarding carpets and curtains.
Oh, and after tonight’s game Darren Sproles could totally find out the answer to that question. Twice.
Welcome to the offseason Colts fans. Us Cowboys fans have saved you a seat.
All the SD cheerleaders have Joker smiles.
But great boobs.
Apparently Sidney Crosby’s techniques are catching on.
So the top two MVP vote getters and Pro Bowl attendees in Pey-Pey and Turner (without his hooch) both shit the bed completely.
Just another reason why the complete dismissal of DeAngelo Williams by voters is all the more confusing.
Another year for Peyton to have time NOT to turn down an endorsement.
“It’s all hair, teeth, and tits.”
Two out of three isn’t bad.
The fuck is Pey-Pey doing? If Tony Dungy saw him doing that, his head would have exploded…
The chargers’ cheerleaders should guarantee them a home game in the playoffs EVERY year. add in tiny sproles and the facial expressions of marmalard and there is no more entertaining team in the NFL. NO ONE DENIES THIS
Peyton might not want to ask somebody, the news isn’t good.
BTW, I’m going to pretend that Marmalard’s facial expression is a result of watching the zebra fisting the Cardinal’s player in the endzone. It makes both pictures that much more amusing for me.
That is all.
@genny
Good thing the brunettes are so different.
@Genny
Don’t you realize that’s what makes them so appealing?
/Men are dogs…
In all fairness to Mike Ryan, when Matty Ice threw that touchdown and brought the Falcons to within six, it cut to him and he clapped. Twice.
@Genny
They have faces?
This is probably because I’m a chick, but all the blonde Chargers cheerleaders are virtually indistinguishable to me. It’s all hair, teeth, and tits.
“Gay rodeo cowboys/human broncos” is my new favorite touchdown celebration. I demand all NFL teams be forced to do this at least once. Get on it, Goodell.