For the Record: F–k you, NBC, for Hiring That Worthless Piece of S–t Matt Millen
Hey you NBC assholes, guess what? You FUCKING SUCK. Yes, we like Cris Collinsworth. We tolerate Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann together for nostalgia’s sake. We hate everyone else that crowds your studio, and Madden has sucked at his job for the last decade, but we’ve never made a big deal about it until now.
Until THIS.
What in God’s name made you think THE WORST GENERAL MANAGER IN FOOTBALL HISTORY was a worthwhile commentator? Fuck you. Fuck you three more times. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.
Get fucked and die. I hope Millen spreads his seed of failure all over your network. Have fun going out of business. CBS can pick up “The Office” for all I care.
Tags: captain caveman, fire millen, I guess NBC won't be asking me to contribute any more
January 5th, 2009 at 8:07 am
I just noticed that Millen looks a lot like Corky.
January 5th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Again, succinct, and to the point. Don’t you think someone, somewhere asked the question I did, “why would I hire the biggest colossal failure in the recent history of NFL?” Yet noone did, or the ones that did were peons and noone listened.
January 5th, 2009 at 8:08 am
http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=corky&gbv=2
January 5th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Worthless Piece of Shit Matt Millen. Triple Redundant!!
January 5th, 2009 at 8:23 am
…seriously? Dick Ebersol should just kill himself.
January 5th, 2009 at 8:24 am
Yes, we like Cris Collinsworth.
Yeah, I’m going to have to go ahead and sort of … disagree … with you there. Collinsworth is an insufferable douchebag, and the mere sight of his turkey neck and toothy sneer makes me want to see him bludgeoned with his own crushingly heavy ego.
But on the Millen part, you’re absolutely right. Who the fuck would ever hire a guy whose defining traits are utter incompetence and complete arroagance?
Other than the Bush administration, I mean.
January 5th, 2009 at 8:28 am
Corky is smart enough to have passed on Mike Williams with a first round pick.
January 5th, 2009 at 8:32 am
What is it with networks hiring shitty former GMs? Matt Millen? Steve Phillips? They got canned for a reason.
THEY FUCKING SUCK.
January 5th, 2009 at 8:33 am
To think, Millen got the Lions job because of his work as a commentator, and now he’s a commentator because of his work with the Lions. Maybe one day he’ll do something to actually deserve his employment.
January 5th, 2009 at 8:43 am
I’m glad I’m not the only one offended by this. ‘Cause if I were looking to hire a guy to analyze the football-related efforts of others, Matt Millen is definitely qualified to pass judgment on that. Thank you, NBC, you fucking clownshoes.
For the record, I dunno what the fuck he actually said. Had I not put down the remote and left the room upon his appearance, it might have ended much like the Southwest Airlines commercial where the guy playing Wii throws a remote through his friend’s television screen.
January 5th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Matt’s one of those guys that had he moved on from the Lions after the first 4 or 5 crappy seasons, he could have redeemed himself elsewhere. Unfortunately, he burrowed in like a tick and is now just known as ‘The Biggest Loser’. HH@showoffsports.com
January 5th, 2009 at 9:00 am
When you think about it, NBC really does stand for No Brains Considered……
January 5th, 2009 at 9:09 am
I find the live blogkakkee’s distact me enough, so I don’t have to listen to the dimwit.
January 5th, 2009 at 9:09 am
NBC Sports was just trying to compete with ESPN for hiring Steve Phillips.
January 5th, 2009 at 9:15 am
Try being a resident of the Detroit area (no one is actually a Lions fan, but, you know) when that happy asshole appears on your TV. I almost had to buy a new TV last night, after I went Elvis on this one.
Please, can God take WCF home now? He’s done enough already.
January 5th, 2009 at 9:15 am
I just figured they were to trying to stimulate the economy by hiring as MANY FUCKING PEOPLE AS CAN FIT INTO ONE STUDIO!!
ENOUGH ALREADY!! I JUST WANT TO WATCH THE MEDAMN FOOTBALL GAME WITH AS LITTLE INTRUSION AS POSSIBLE!!
FUCK THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE, FUCK THE TOYOTA HALFTIME REPORT, AND FUCK YOU COSTAS!!
January 5th, 2009 at 9:17 am
Matt Millen: big fan of Scrubs.
January 5th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Hiring Matt Millen to commentate on football = You’ve officially reached the bottom of the shit barrel.
January 5th, 2009 at 9:59 am
I have more respect for Shannon Sharps opinion.
January 5th, 2009 at 10:01 am
i think u just qouted verbatum for word what i said to my girlfriend last night, god i hate Millen.
January 5th, 2009 at 10:37 am
When you’re a failure, you’re supposed to be a MISERABLE failure. Not a smarmy fuck who has proven that in spite of playing the inside fatass hole plugger position that he has no football acumen.
Not only do I want to be the Lions GM, but my first official act would be to hire Buddy Ryan as a consultant so I could put a proper bounty on the lardass linebacker that managed to permanently stain what was already tainted. MILLEN! I WILL HAVE YOUR FUCKING HEAD!!!
January 5th, 2009 at 10:40 am
I assumed he was there so Olberman could go on one of his anti-bush style rants but directed at Millen in person. “You sir have a George W Bush level of competance and should have had shoes and other objects thrown at you” etc…
January 5th, 2009 at 10:48 am
As a Lions fan, I rejoice. This makes it more difficult for William Clay Ford to re-hire Millen.
January 5th, 2009 at 10:52 am
@Otto Man — ditto
Matt Millan proves the inverse of the Peter Principle;people get promoted to their natural level of incompetence and then keep getting promoted. Either that or, in this case, it means Millen is a dick.
January 5th, 2009 at 10:59 am
I turned on NBC on Saturday afternoon and saw Matt Millen talking and immediately had to go take a shower because I felt violated. WTF was NBC thinking? They now have as much credibility as ESPN, which = zilch.
January 5th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Apparently, as of this morning, Matt Millen will be covering the Superbowl. Yes, you read right. The utmost shitstain of football, the man that led the lowest of the low, will be covering the pinnacle of greatness in the sport.
January 5th, 2009 at 11:08 am
This is like hiring Ed Wood to be a movie critic
January 5th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Can someone remind me…is CBS Americas most watched network? I think I forgot.
And Millen should have been shot Buckwheat style on the air.
January 5th, 2009 at 11:12 am
@ Ocho Cinco Fan Club: whaaaaaaaaaaat? oh fuck you nbc, fuck you right into hell.
January 5th, 2009 at 11:23 am
At least they’ll show the cheerleaders. I fuckin’ hate CBS after yesterday’s dogshit montage of commercials and halfassed football.
January 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
“To think, Millen got the Lions job because of his work as a commentator, and now he’s a commentator because of his work with the Lions. Maybe one day he’ll do something to actually deserve his employment.”
So, wait. He was networked into a new position he was incapable of playing despite his non-performance in a related role?
MATT MILLEN IS BRIAN RUSSELL!
January 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
The lip fur does wonder for ones own self worth and delusion.
January 5th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Um, yeah, Uh, Millen, yeah, that really does leave me speechless. As for Collinsworth, if you’re really interested in getting blackout drunk by halftime, take a shot of Patron every time he says “typically”.
January 5th, 2009 at 11:38 am
While we’re fucking with the networks, a big fuck you to the asshat that developed the down and distance markers for the football field. Not enough that they tell you that ALL THE FUCKING TIME anyway, or show it ALL THE FUCKING TIME in that scorebox at the top of the screen. They think that we’re just a little too STOOPID to read that at the top and need to keep it in big colorful letters on the field at all times. AWWW, NBC’s is a peacock feather… isn’t that nice? Before long, the field will be littered with electronically generated advertisements. You know it’s coming.
/feels better
/dick joke
January 5th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Millen took over a 9-7 team in 2001 and ran the show until 2008. I wonder if that’s long enough to mean that EVERY SINGLE PLAYER ON THE LIONS’ 0-16 TEAM WAS SIGNED BY MILLEN?
As for Collinsworth, his only skill is identifying the obvious and articulating it to you, the viewer. And this alone puts him near the top of his fucking horrible profession.
January 5th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Matt Millen must have ONE HELL OF AN AGENT.
And I agree with all Collinsworth=douchebag sentiments.
January 5th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
First off, Collinsworth is great. He’s a douchebag, but he knows his shit.
The worst thing about the Millen hiring is how they just brought him on air without any explanation. It’s like if you saw your mom talking to a teacher at school you REALLY, REALLY hated because he was the worst teacher EVER and then the next day he’s just there hanging out in your living room.
I bet NBC even thought “whooo boy…we’re gonna need the Bus to talk like an idiot to distract the kiddies here”
So congrats Millen – you’re the asshole who’s banging our moms
January 5th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
God, I love Cris Collinsworth. Not only is he THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON on TV who will actually call out overrated players on their sub-par performance on the field, but his voice arouses me for some reason.
/shudders as he feels the last vestiges of heterosexuality slipping away.
January 5th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Can’t wait ’till Millen calls Tiki a devout coward.
January 5th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Assistant director: “I’ll cut off his mic”
Director: “No, leave it on. I’m trying to get fired”
January 5th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Since Corky has come up a couple times, here he is performing a song called “Celebration of Love” with two frighteningly-enthusiastic bandmates on Minneapolis’ NBC offiliate, KARE 11:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aJFSpkxjtY
If you laugh, you’re going to Hell.
January 5th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Don’t leave Floyd fuckin Reese out of that ass-clown/former GM discussion, all those shit hats over at ESPN treat him like he invented football. Total bullshit.
January 5th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
How did this shithead manage to avoid assassination in Detroit? Fuck, doesn’t a random Detroit resident have a 1 in 5 change of getting shot? He must of rode around in a Pope-mobile.
January 5th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Just curious, is Caveman the only one of y’all that hasn’t been invited to the set?
January 5th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
“I have more respect for Shannon Sharps opinion.”
When asked for comment about the hiring of Matt Millen as an analyst, Shannon Sharpe had the following to say :
“akeekee buwala ogaba mohogo labasil football meko ilp ilp nwanko barip Matt Millen!”
Thanks Shannon!
January 5th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
What’s incredibly sad is that NBC posted record ratings for the day, and since they are clueless to figuring out what specifically generated those ratings my guess is that they will assume the public wants to see more Millen. And as sure as a dog licks his balls, I can pretty much guarantee you that you will be seeing more Matt Millen with a Microphone in his hands. I’ve already heard *rumors* they are looking for a potential replacement for John “Let me spend 25 minutes talking about the guy holding the down markers responsibilities for no real reason at all” Madden as he gets closer to retirement.
January 5th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
@ Gino Tourettsa
http://www.amazon.com/Singer-Band-Chris-Burke/dp/B000008MO8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1231185543&sr=1-1
My buddy bought this in high school. It got stolen in college. I dare anyone to listen to Corky sing Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da without laughing out loud.
/going to hell
January 5th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
@ Spum
I laughed out loud just looking at the cover of Corky’s “…Singer with the Band…”. I hope Joe & John DeMasi are brothers and not, uh, married.
See ya in Hades.
January 5th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
NBC, singlehandedly keeping firemillen.com in business.
Forget ever working again in football Matt Millen should be in jail for embezzlement, because he did not work one fucking day as GM of the Lions.
January 5th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Here is an example of Chris Collingsworth’s incompetence. When Chevis Jackson ran into the punt returner before he fielded the ball Collingsworth said, “It’s not completely his fault.”
Who the hell was at fault?
I’d rather listen to Millen. (I can’t believe I just said that.)
January 6th, 2009 at 1:37 am
this is the same network that employs Jay Leno and Howie Mandel and brought back “Knight Rider” right? uh huh.
/Team Otto Man on that Collinsworth thing – what are you thinking?!
February 1st, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Honest to Christ is NBC trying to slap every Lions fan in the face and kick him in the nuts at the same time!!! Its not enough that we had to endure the Millen era when the season before we went 8-8 and as soon as he showed up we were 2-14, now I have to listen to the bullshit coming out of his mouth on Superbowl Sunday & having to swallow the crap that NBC believes he knows enough to actually pay him for his thoughts on the biggest day in football. Thanks NBC why don’t you just show up at my house steal my truck & kill my dog while you’re at it!!!!